Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

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beyou
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by beyou »

If you do work with an attorney to reduce assets and qualify for Medicaid, also discuss if she can qualify for SSI. SSI disability requires you are first deemed disabled (blind should do it), then you have to meet financial criteria which was

For 2022, an individual beneficiary cannot earn more than $1,767 per month in wages or have more than $2,000 in assets.

Could add another $900/mo of social security income.
Lalamimi
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by Lalamimi »

wow. ok, is her husband deceased? Was he a veteran? She is probably eligible for Aid & Attendance if so. $3500 is a great price, I paid over $4K for my mom. [Unnecessary comment removed by moderator ClaycordJCA.]
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by Vanguard User »

ralphboy wrote: Wed May 17, 2023 9:53 pm My mom is poor. She gets $1200 a month in social security and retirement. She has Medicare and Humana Gold for her insurance and resides in Florida. She currently lives in a low income apartment by herself (Her rent is a percentage of her social security). She is legally blind (Has diabetic retinopathy) and has fallen twice this month. The first time she was on the ground I believe for several days when I found her and was in the hospital for 2 weeks and a nursing center for 2 weeks (She had pneumonia and a blood infection). She fell again when she returned home and when she visited her doctor for an evaluation her blood pressure was 200/100 (She forgot to take her meds the few days she returned home). Due to my mom falling, having trouble doing things around the apartment due to her blindness, and her forgetting to take her meds; her doctor says she should be in assisted living. The issue is we can't afford it.

I try my best to help her out as much as I can but it is difficult taking care of her and having a full-time job. I am setting up her pill box each week and I have ordered her a mobile alert device which can detect falls and has a button for her to press if she needs help. I am also trying to make it a habit of calling her each day. I wish there was more that I could do to help make her life easier. Are there any options available to me? I think she can apply for Medicaid but I can't figure out how to sign up for it (Tried googling it but became overwhelmed by the information/ junk sites; why can't they make medicare simple for seniors to understand?)
This should be fully covered by Medicaid. I believe you have to file a waiver. I am interested in this process just in case I have to put my mom there.
You can hire someone to come to her home to assist her and that is free is well.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by TN_Boy »

Vanguard User wrote: Mon May 29, 2023 8:38 pm
ralphboy wrote: Wed May 17, 2023 9:53 pm My mom is poor. She gets $1200 a month in social security and retirement. She has Medicare and Humana Gold for her insurance and resides in Florida. She currently lives in a low income apartment by herself (Her rent is a percentage of her social security). She is legally blind (Has diabetic retinopathy) and has fallen twice this month. The first time she was on the ground I believe for several days when I found her and was in the hospital for 2 weeks and a nursing center for 2 weeks (She had pneumonia and a blood infection). She fell again when she returned home and when she visited her doctor for an evaluation her blood pressure was 200/100 (She forgot to take her meds the few days she returned home). Due to my mom falling, having trouble doing things around the apartment due to her blindness, and her forgetting to take her meds; her doctor says she should be in assisted living. The issue is we can't afford it.

I try my best to help her out as much as I can but it is difficult taking care of her and having a full-time job. I am setting up her pill box each week and I have ordered her a mobile alert device which can detect falls and has a button for her to press if she needs help. I am also trying to make it a habit of calling her each day. I wish there was more that I could do to help make her life easier. Are there any options available to me? I think she can apply for Medicaid but I can't figure out how to sign up for it (Tried googling it but became overwhelmed by the information/ junk sites; why can't they make medicare simple for seniors to understand?)
This should be fully covered by Medicaid. I believe you have to file a waiver. I am interested in this process just in case I have to put my mom there.
You can hire someone to come to her home to assist her and that is free is well.
Are you a FL resident? Medicaid rules vary greatly by state. My quick googling of Medicaid and assisting living payment in FL implies to me that getting Medicaid to pay for assisted living (versus skilled nursing) there not be all that easy.

But hopefully the OP is going to work with an elder law attorney in FL familiar with that state's Medicaid system.
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ResearchMed
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ResearchMed »

It's not clear just what your mother's overall condition really is.
We know that she is quite disabled. However, if she is falling out of bed, can't see, has been in and out of hospital/skilled nursing, and perhaps has other medical/mobility problems, might it be time for a more serious evaluation as to whether she *should* be in skilled nursing long term?
If so, then Medicaid would probably cover it (but I'm not familiar with Florida rules).

RM
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by TN_Boy »

ResearchMed wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 9:08 am It's not clear just what your mother's overall condition really is.
We know that she is quite disabled. However, if she is falling out of bed, can't see, has been in and out of hospital/skilled nursing, and perhaps has other medical/mobility problems, might it be time for a more serious evaluation as to whether she *should* be in skilled nursing long term?
If so, then Medicaid would probably cover it (but I'm not familiar with Florida rules).

RM
This is where it would be great if the OP had the ability to attend some therapy sessions with his mom at the rehab center. They will probably (if not .. they should be ....) do both PT and OT (occupational therapy). Watching how mom does and talking with the therapists after the session will tell the OP more about his mom's condition than anything else.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ralphboy »

My mom's physical therapist wanted her to balance on one foot, which is something she has difficulty doing. She is physically weak (Has trouble getting up out of a chair), can't see (diabetic retinopathy), and her memory has gone downhill since she has been in the hospital. She needs a few ultrasounds for things found in the hospital (nodule on thyroid and thickening of the uterus) and an endoscopy for thickening of the esophagus. I am overwhelmed by the posts on here. If I could have 1 post with all of the documents that I need and things to do maybe that would help. I tried calling Care Patrol but got a message saying the "google subscriber is not available" so I left a message. Yes, I am a FL resident. No, my mom is not a widow of a veteran (She is divorced to one). My dad gave me a number awhile ago for an attorney he used to create a living will. Maybe she can help me out with all of the other documents? When I get a better idea of everything I need to do; I think I'll send her an e-mail. Or I guess I could refer her to this thread haha.
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ResearchMed
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ResearchMed »

Yeah, one thing about long threads with lots of helpful hints here on BH is that they are... *long* threads with *lots* of helpful hints!

Perhaps you could print out a copy as an online document. Then go through it and highlight the suggestions that make sense to you? At least they'd jump off the page when you look back again.

And if you do find someone from an elder care agency, you could ask them about those, for starters, as well as referrals for some of the services, plus additional things they think of.

It must seem overwhelming, especially if you are not living right there. She is very fortunate to have you and your help.

For some of the documents you are mentioning, for starters, you might want to Google:
Florida Living Will form
and
Florida Health Care Proxy form.

And the more general Durable Power of Attorney for her, especially when/if she becomes more incapacitated.

RM
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ralphboy
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ralphboy »

Well, I spoke to the CarePatrol and she gave me a website to look at after55.com and a phone number for the florida department of elder affairs helpline. I'm confused if calling that number is the same things as the Area Agency on Aging of Pasco-Pinellas, Inc. (I scrolled down on the https://elderaffairs.org/ and dialed the number for my county). I'll be talking to the person from the area agency on aging on Friday.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by clip651 »

ralphboy wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 10:40 am If I could have 1 post with all of the documents that I need and things to do maybe that would help.
...
When I get a better idea of everything I need to do; I think I'll send her an e-mail. Or I guess I could refer her to this thread haha.
Ralphboy,

Here is your one post. This isn't everything you need to do, it's in my opinion the best place to start rightnow, and I think it will really help.

*****Make an appointment to see the social worker at the hospital (or rehab) where your mom is currently being treated.*****

Tell the social worker that:

you want to help your mom
you know she is not safe to go back home alone
she doesn't have much savings or income
you work full time, you don't live with your mom, and you are overwhelmed
and
you want to know where to start on this process

The social worker will have access to your mom's medical records, so you won't need to gather that. If you can, gather basics on your mom's financials (her social security and other income, her savings, her current bills for where she lives now, just the basics). If your mom has any documents like health care or financial power or attorney, bring copies if you have them. But don't fuss too much over gathering stuff, just bring what you can, and trust the social worker to guide you through.

Get an action plan from the social worker for your next steps, and ask for a followup appointment so you can touch base again after that.

If you want, bring a printout of this thread, and/or notes you have made from reading this thread, to ask the social worker questions (like, do I need a lawyer, how/when/should she apply for medicaid, etc, etc). But I honestly don't think that's necessary at this stage. Start with the local professional that you can meet in person whose job it is to guide people through these situations.

I really think that's all you need to do next. Let the social worker help you figure things out. And if they aren't the right person to talk to, they should be able to tell you who you should talk to instead. Make that appointment with the social worker and figure things out from there. You don't need to make a plan on your own, you need help with this from people that know your mom's situation in detail, and know the local resources and laws.

best wishes, I know this is tough.

cj
clip651
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by clip651 »

ralphboy wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 12:51 pm Well, I spoke to the CarePatrol and she gave me a website to look at after55.com and a phone number for the florida department of elder affairs helpline. I'm confused if calling that number is the same things as the Area Agency on Aging of Pasco-Pinellas, Inc. (I scrolled down on the https://elderaffairs.org/ and dialed the number for my county). I'll be talking to the person from the area agency on aging on Friday.
Please see my post just after this one of yours. Get together with a social worker at the hospital or rehab ASAP. Start there. (And also talk to the area agency person Friday, unless the social worker advises you otherwise.)
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ralphboy »

The social worker at the hospital already knows about my mom needing assisted living and us not having the income for it. She told me to call CarePatrol who told me to call the Florida Department of Elder Affairs. I'll try talking to a social worker at the place my mom is going for rehab. If I feel like I haven't made any progress after Friday; maybe I should contact an elder law attorney? I'm afraid that there will be no help for my mom and I will have to end up living with her which I really don't want to do.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by clip651 »

ralphboy wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 1:40 pm The social worker at the hospital already knows about my mom needing assisted living and us not having the income for it. She told me to call CarePatrol who told me to call the Florida Department of Elder Affairs. I'll try talking to a social worker at the place my mom is going for rehab. If I feel like I haven't made any progress after Friday; maybe I should contact an elder law attorney? I'm afraid that there will be no help for my mom and I will have to end up living with her which I really don't want to do.
Sounds like you are on the right track, then. Even if you ended up living with her, she'd still need a lot of help from what you're describing. With the vision problems, memory loss, mobility issues, etc, she's still not safe to be left alone while you go to work and whatnot.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by Vanguard User »

TN_Boy wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 8:51 am
Vanguard User wrote: Mon May 29, 2023 8:38 pm
ralphboy wrote: Wed May 17, 2023 9:53 pm My mom is poor. She gets $1200 a month in social security and retirement. She has Medicare and Humana Gold for her insurance and resides in Florida. She currently lives in a low income apartment by herself (Her rent is a percentage of her social security). She is legally blind (Has diabetic retinopathy) and has fallen twice this month. The first time she was on the ground I believe for several days when I found her and was in the hospital for 2 weeks and a nursing center for 2 weeks (She had pneumonia and a blood infection). She fell again when she returned home and when she visited her doctor for an evaluation her blood pressure was 200/100 (She forgot to take her meds the few days she returned home). Due to my mom falling, having trouble doing things around the apartment due to her blindness, and her forgetting to take her meds; her doctor says she should be in assisted living. The issue is we can't afford it.

I try my best to help her out as much as I can but it is difficult taking care of her and having a full-time job. I am setting up her pill box each week and I have ordered her a mobile alert device which can detect falls and has a button for her to press if she needs help. I am also trying to make it a habit of calling her each day. I wish there was more that I could do to help make her life easier. Are there any options available to me? I think she can apply for Medicaid but I can't figure out how to sign up for it (Tried googling it but became overwhelmed by the information/ junk sites; why can't they make medicare simple for seniors to understand?)
This should be fully covered by Medicaid. I believe you have to file a waiver. I am interested in this process just in case I have to put my mom there.
You can hire someone to come to her home to assist her and that is free is well.
Are you a FL resident? Medicaid rules vary greatly by state. My quick googling of Medicaid and assisting living payment in FL implies to me that getting Medicaid to pay for assisted living (versus skilled nursing) there not be all that easy.

But hopefully the OP is going to work with an elder law attorney in FL familiar with that state's Medicaid system.
Texas. I don’t think it matters what state.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by TN_Boy »

Vanguard User wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 7:01 pm
TN_Boy wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 8:51 am
Vanguard User wrote: Mon May 29, 2023 8:38 pm
ralphboy wrote: Wed May 17, 2023 9:53 pm My mom is poor. She gets $1200 a month in social security and retirement. She has Medicare and Humana Gold for her insurance and resides in Florida. She currently lives in a low income apartment by herself (Her rent is a percentage of her social security). She is legally blind (Has diabetic retinopathy) and has fallen twice this month. The first time she was on the ground I believe for several days when I found her and was in the hospital for 2 weeks and a nursing center for 2 weeks (She had pneumonia and a blood infection). She fell again when she returned home and when she visited her doctor for an evaluation her blood pressure was 200/100 (She forgot to take her meds the few days she returned home). Due to my mom falling, having trouble doing things around the apartment due to her blindness, and her forgetting to take her meds; her doctor says she should be in assisted living. The issue is we can't afford it.

I try my best to help her out as much as I can but it is difficult taking care of her and having a full-time job. I am setting up her pill box each week and I have ordered her a mobile alert device which can detect falls and has a button for her to press if she needs help. I am also trying to make it a habit of calling her each day. I wish there was more that I could do to help make her life easier. Are there any options available to me? I think she can apply for Medicaid but I can't figure out how to sign up for it (Tried googling it but became overwhelmed by the information/ junk sites; why can't they make medicare simple for seniors to understand?)
This should be fully covered by Medicaid. I believe you have to file a waiver. I am interested in this process just in case I have to put my mom there.
You can hire someone to come to her home to assist her and that is free is well.
Are you a FL resident? Medicaid rules vary greatly by state. My quick googling of Medicaid and assisting living payment in FL implies to me that getting Medicaid to pay for assisted living (versus skilled nursing) there not be all that easy.

But hopefully the OP is going to work with an elder law attorney in FL familiar with that state's Medicaid system.
Texas. I don’t think it matters what state.
I think it does matter.

https://www.kff.org/medicaid/report/med ... -a-primer/

You can skim the whole thing, I'll quote this:
Medicaid Long-Term Services and Supports

Within the Medicaid program, there has been a historical structural bias toward institutional care. States are required to cover nursing facility benefits, while coverage of most HCBS is optional.27 As a result, Medicaid HCBS spending patterns vary among states, with states spending between 21 percent and 78 percent of their total Medicaid LTSS dollars on HCBS in 2013 (Figure 4)
HCBS = home and community-based services

My quick googling indicated that while Florida might indeed pay for say assisted living (versus skilled nursing) that there was a long wait list for assisted living support.

Anyway, the OP needs to completely understand mom's needs (which might indeed be at the skilled nursing level) AND understand how to get Medicaid help in FL. Were I the OP seeking legal advice on this issue would be one of my first tasks. Actually my steps now would be:

1) Completely understand mom's medical situation and prognosis. Does she need skilled nursing for example? How long will she be in rehab (i.e. how much time do I have to figure out the next steps?).
2) Engage an experienced elder care lawyer right now to help navigate the process. Note that the lawyer might also know exactly what state and local officials to call and work with. Mom has no money and needs a lot of help.
3) Consider engaging a geriatric care manager. I have used two in clearly defined situations; one was useless the other was handy at times.

2) and 3) cost money. The OP might want to think about a budget for helping mom. $$ is something the further away brother could (I won't say should but ....) help with.

Obviously if mom has to move to a care facility, said care facility should be in the city the OP lives in.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by biscuits »

TN_Boy wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 7:56 pm 2) Engage an experienced elder care lawyer right now to help navigate the process. Note that the lawyer might also know exactly what state and local officials to call and work with. Mom has no money and needs a lot of help.
3) Consider engaging a geriatric care manager. I have used two in clearly defined situations; one was useless the other was handy at times.

2) and 3) cost money. The OP might want to think about a budget for helping mom. $$ is something the further away brother could (I won't say should but ....) help with.
Excellent advice. One of ralphboy's concerns was that Mom has $8000 in the bank--over the $2000 Medicaid limit. Am I right that a perfectly legal and legitimate way to "spend down" this money would be to pay for legal help? (Also ralphboy said that she had this much money because of loans from him and his brother to help with dental work. Would it not be legitimate for her to repay those loans and for the sons to then use that money to pay for legal help?
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by Vanguard User »

biscuits wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 8:13 pm
TN_Boy wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 7:56 pm 2) Engage an experienced elder care lawyer right now to help navigate the process. Note that the lawyer might also know exactly what state and local officials to call and work with. Mom has no money and needs a lot of help.
3) Consider engaging a geriatric care manager. I have used two in clearly defined situations; one was useless the other was handy at times.

2) and 3) cost money. The OP might want to think about a budget for helping mom. $$ is something the further away brother could (I won't say should but ....) help with.
Excellent advice. One of ralphboy's concerns was that Mom has $8000 in the bank--over the $2000 Medicaid limit. Am I right that a perfectly legal and legitimate way to "spend down" this money would be to pay for legal help? (Also ralphboy said that she had this much money because of loans from him and his brother to help with dental work. Would it not be legitimate for her to repay those loans and for the sons to then use that money to pay for legal help?
Cash out the entire $8k and now you have $0.
Galt guy
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by Galt guy »

Consider Mexico. My mother moved there at age 68 because she couldn’t afford living in the U.S. after retirement She’s 86 now. She said she didn’t want to return to the United States after a year or so there, and waived her Medicare. She has been in an assisted living/nursing home for more than 5 years and is doing fine, all things considered. The place she’s living in has 23 residents, all Americans/Canadians. Not sure if you can find a place for $1200/month, but worth investigating.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by TN_Boy »

Galt guy wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 11:25 pm Consider Mexico. My mother moved there at age 68 because she couldn’t afford living in the U.S. after retirement She’s 86 now. She said she didn’t want to return to the United States after a year or so there, and waived her Medicare. She has been in an assisted living/nursing home for more than 5 years and is doing fine, all things considered. The place she’s living in has 23 residents, all Americans/Canadians. Not sure if you can find a place for $1200/month, but worth investigating.
So the OP's mom has severe vision issues, possibly some dementia (i.e. forgetting to take meds) and mobility issues, along with other likely problems.

Do you think it would be good for someone who cannot manage their own care to be off in a foreign country without any family support? That seems like a recipe for disaster. Not that the current situation is all that grand. [To clarify] The current situation is bad because mom has no money, which is always bad.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by Galt guy »

TN_Boy wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 8:29 am
Galt guy wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 11:25 pm Consider Mexico. My mother moved there at age 68 because she couldn’t afford living in the U.S. after retirement She’s 86 now. She said she didn’t want to return to the United States after a year or so there, and waived her Medicare. She has been in an assisted living/nursing home for more than 5 years and is doing fine, all things considered. The place she’s living in has 23 residents, all Americans/Canadians. Not sure if you can find a place for $1200/month, but worth investigating.
So the OP's mom has severe vision issues, possibly some dementia (i.e. forgetting to take meds) and mobility issues, along with other likely problems.

Do you think it would be good for someone who cannot manage their own care to be off in a foreign country without any family support? That seems like a recipe for disaster. Not that the current situation is all that grand. [To clarify] The current situation is bad because mom has no money, which is always bad.
Depends on the facility. Many of the residents at my mother’s facility have some sort of mental and/or physical disability, including the issues you described. They have twice daily blood pressure/O2 levels checked, medications provided, bathing assistance, meals, occasional outings, etc. Relatives visit them on occasion. I’ve seen people move in who’ve never been outside the U.S., and the facility management handles everything. The manager is a registered nurse and the facility is owned by a retired engineer from Massachusetts. There is a way to have Medicare involved, but I don’t know how that works. It’s a difficult choice, for sure, but my mother had lived in Mexico for 12 years before she needed to move into the care home. Her decision was to never return to the United States and go into a care facility down there when the time came.
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ralphboy
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ralphboy »

I have a question about power of attorney. If I have it and my mom dies and owes money, do I have to pay off her debt?

I was nervous about the bill for the first hospital visit but she ended up owing only $100.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by TN_Boy »

ralphboy wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:17 am I have a question about power of attorney. If I have it and my mom dies and owes money, do I have to pay off her debt?

I was nervous about the bill for the first hospital visit but she ended up owing only $100.
In general, no. A few states have laws where they might try and go after family for unpaid bills, but in general no. Another thing an elder law attorney could clarify per FL law. But even in the states where they can go after the family, I think that is very very rare and would only happen if a large amount of money was involved and they thought the family had that money.

Having a POA would not affect your liability for any bills of your mother.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by TN_Boy »

Galt guy wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 9:25 am
TN_Boy wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 8:29 am
Galt guy wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 11:25 pm Consider Mexico. My mother moved there at age 68 because she couldn’t afford living in the U.S. after retirement She’s 86 now. She said she didn’t want to return to the United States after a year or so there, and waived her Medicare. She has been in an assisted living/nursing home for more than 5 years and is doing fine, all things considered. The place she’s living in has 23 residents, all Americans/Canadians. Not sure if you can find a place for $1200/month, but worth investigating.
So the OP's mom has severe vision issues, possibly some dementia (i.e. forgetting to take meds) and mobility issues, along with other likely problems.

Do you think it would be good for someone who cannot manage their own care to be off in a foreign country without any family support? That seems like a recipe for disaster. Not that the current situation is all that grand. [To clarify] The current situation is bad because mom has no money, which is always bad.
Depends on the facility. Many of the residents at my mother’s facility have some sort of mental and/or physical disability, including the issues you described. They have twice daily blood pressure/O2 levels checked, medications provided, bathing assistance, meals, occasional outings, etc. Relatives visit them on occasion. I’ve seen people move in who’ve never been outside the U.S., and the facility management handles everything. The manager is a registered nurse and the facility is owned by a retired engineer from Massachusetts. There is a way to have Medicare involved, but I don’t know how that works. It’s a difficult choice, for sure, but my mother had lived in Mexico for 12 years before she needed to move into the care home. Her decision was to never return to the United States and go into a care facility down there when the time came.
I can't imagine putting my mom in a place thousands of miles away where I could not routinely supervise the care. If she were completely okay mentally, maybe. Otherwise, no way.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ResearchMed »

ralphboy wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:17 am I have a question about power of attorney. If I have it and my mom dies and owes money, do I have to pay off her debt?

I was nervous about the bill for the first hospital visit but she ended up owing only $100.

First thing: A POA (including a DPOA) *ends* when the person passes. That "power" is ONLY valid to act "on behalf of the person", and once they are gone, that's over. Someone might become an executor or such, to handle estate issues, and that only begins after the person has passed. And again, those debts would be settled from the estate (unless someone had co-signed something.)

YOU are NOT responsible for her bills unless you co-signed, and this brings up something important that I didn't see mentioned yet: DO NOT CO-SIGN FOR HER CARE, be it assisted living or skilled nursing. Pay her bills from *her* money.
You *can* have DPOA without having financial responsibility.

(Note: There is at least one state that has some law about filial responsibility, but I don't know if it is actually enforced. And Florida does not seem to be one.)

Any bills should be paid out of *her* money. That is a valid way to spend her money.

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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by quantAndHold »

TN_Boy wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:24 am
Galt guy wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 9:25 am
TN_Boy wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 8:29 am
Galt guy wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 11:25 pm Consider Mexico. My mother moved there at age 68 because she couldn’t afford living in the U.S. after retirement She’s 86 now. She said she didn’t want to return to the United States after a year or so there, and waived her Medicare. She has been in an assisted living/nursing home for more than 5 years and is doing fine, all things considered. The place she’s living in has 23 residents, all Americans/Canadians. Not sure if you can find a place for $1200/month, but worth investigating.
So the OP's mom has severe vision issues, possibly some dementia (i.e. forgetting to take meds) and mobility issues, along with other likely problems.

Do you think it would be good for someone who cannot manage their own care to be off in a foreign country without any family support? That seems like a recipe for disaster. Not that the current situation is all that grand. [To clarify] The current situation is bad because mom has no money, which is always bad.
Depends on the facility. Many of the residents at my mother’s facility have some sort of mental and/or physical disability, including the issues you described. They have twice daily blood pressure/O2 levels checked, medications provided, bathing assistance, meals, occasional outings, etc. Relatives visit them on occasion. I’ve seen people move in who’ve never been outside the U.S., and the facility management handles everything. The manager is a registered nurse and the facility is owned by a retired engineer from Massachusetts. There is a way to have Medicare involved, but I don’t know how that works. It’s a difficult choice, for sure, but my mother had lived in Mexico for 12 years before she needed to move into the care home. Her decision was to never return to the United States and go into a care facility down there when the time came.
I can't imagine putting my mom in a place thousands of miles away where I could not routinely supervise the care. If she were completely okay mentally, maybe. Otherwise, no way.
Also trying to research facilities from a foreign country. Please. It’s hard enough to find good care in the US.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by arcticpineapplecorp. »

ResearchMed wrote: Wed May 31, 2023 11:32 am (Note: There is at least one state that has some law about filial responsibility, but I don't know if it is actually enforced. And Florida does not seem to be one.)

Any bills should be paid out of *her* money. That is a valid way to spend her money.

RM
PA is one such state. Been on the books since 1771.

good solid strong advice, though, ResearchMed to the OP. ralphboy, follow what ResearchMed wrote regarding payments.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by zie »

ralphboy wrote: Wed May 17, 2023 9:53 pm I have ordered her a mobile alert device which can detect falls and has a button for her to press if she needs help.
Everyone else covered all the other bits way better than I could. About this particular bit. An Apple Watch will do this as well. It will even try to wake her up if she falls unconscious during the fall, calling you to let you know it called 911. It has the added benefit of having strong accessibility for people with blindness. Can make phone calls, do texting, even read books and podcasts and what not for your mom. It doesn't require your mom have an iPhone, but as of today it still requires someone in your family(probably you) having one to set it up initially.

If she is going into an assisted living facility it may not matter much, but just thought I'd bring it up as an option. Cost wise, last I checked, it was around the same price as those life alert things, but with no monthly fees(unless you add cell service to the watch of course).

To call 911, you want the cell service enabled watch, but you don't need to have it be on a service plan or assigned to a carrier, so you can save the $10-15/month they want.

Anyways, good luck, and sorry you have to go through all of this. You can do it, one step at a time.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by Katietsu »

ralphboy wrote: Tue May 30, 2023 1:40 pm The social worker at the hospital already knows about my mom needing assisted living and us not having the income for it. She told me to call CarePatrol who told me to call the Florida Department of Elder Affairs. I'll try talking to a social worker at the place my mom is going for rehab. If I feel like I haven't made any progress after Friday; maybe I should contact an elder law attorney? I'm afraid that there will be no help for my mom and I will have to end up living with her which I really don't want to do.
In my experience, the social worker at the rehab will be more able to help with Mom’s longer term placement than a hospital social worker.

I would really try to schedule a full day to go to the rehab facility. I did this in a similar situation even though I had to drive several hours in a day and it was immense helpful. Ideally, it would be after Mom had already been there for a few days. Go to all the therapy sessions,such as occupational therapy, speech therapy. Watch first, ask questions at the end if needed. Eat a meal.

Have an appointment scheduled with social worker. If the appointment with the social worker can be scheduled for later in the day after you see how Mom has functioned, that could be helpful. Emphasize that Mom lives alone with no assistance and repeat what the advice of the primary care doctor.The rehab can not release Mom to an unsafe environment. If she is not safe to go home without support, they can not just discharge her unless you agree to provide that support. Do not agree to be that support at this time. Do not pick her up and take her home without a long term solution. If she is at home, it will be much harder to quickly get the help you need.

Her mental function and memory might improve once she gets past all the injuries, pain and disruptions. Hoping for a positive outcome.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by HomeStretch »

^^^ This

I’ll add three items:
1) if not on file with the Rehab facility already, bring your mom’s legal documents (DPOA, healthcare rep) with you to the facility. Tell the facility that all paperwork must go through you.
2) when the Rehab facility determines rehab should end, they are required to give your mom or her rep a written Medicare notice that includes the date that Medicare coverage will end and the patient’s right to appeal. You have something like only 24-48 hours to appeal. File the appeal as Medicare will continue to cover the stay until they rule on the appeal.
3) this is your best chance to get help and expedited admission with your mom’s post-rehab placement. Have a list of your top facility choices and push for those.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

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I spoke to the social worker at the rehab facility. Unfortunately, they don't help with the medicaid application but she gave me some pamphlets of people that are knowledgeable with medicaid/power of attorney/living wills, etc. I'll google them but first, I want to see if I can get some help with the phone interview with the area agency on aging. I'll ask about home health care, medicaid, etc. I also spoke to the physical therapists and the nutritionist and told them that my mom has been falling and her doctor says she should be in assisted living and that she is legally blind and her memory is bad.

I'll try to have home health care for my mom after she is released. I think the medicaid process and long term care/ assisted living placement could take a few months.

My grandma went to the same place after having a broken ankle and she spoke highly of the physical therapy and the therapist and my mom ended up getting the same physical therapist. Where she's at is a lot nicer place than the other facility.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by TN_Boy »

ralphboy wrote: Thu Jun 01, 2023 11:13 pm I spoke to the social worker at the rehab facility. Unfortunately, they don't help with the medicaid application but she gave me some pamphlets of people that are knowledgeable with medicaid/power of attorney/living wills, etc. I'll google them but first, I want to see if I can get some help with the phone interview with the area agency on aging. I'll ask about home health care, medicaid, etc. I also spoke to the physical therapists and the nutritionist and told them that my mom has been falling and her doctor says she should be in assisted living and that she is legally blind and her memory is bad.

I'll try to have home health care for my mom after she is released. I think the medicaid process and long term care/ assisted living placement could take a few months.

My grandma went to the same place after having a broken ankle and she spoke highly of the physical therapy and the therapist and my mom ended up getting the same physical therapist. Where she's at is a lot nicer place than the other facility.
How are you planning on funding the home health services? In some situations (which may or may not apply to your mom) Medicare (not Medicaid) will cover home health, but those situations are a bit limited in scope. In my area home health aides are $20 to $25 per hour, usually with a four hour minimum.

A good rehab facility is a great thing. Did you get a timeline for how long you mom is likely to be in the rehab facility? Are they doing occupational therapy?
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ralphboy »

I'm not sure the specifics about the therapy or have an estimated time when she'll get out. I was hoping Humana would cover home health for her. I had the phone interview today but they had to reschedule it once they found out that she is currently in a nursing facility. The social worker recommended "Long term care solutions" so I think I'll call them for a free consultation (http://longtermcaresolutionsllc.com/). My mom has been there a few days but says she hasn't done any physical therapy yet.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by TN_Boy »

ralphboy wrote: Fri Jun 02, 2023 11:09 am I'm not sure the specifics about the therapy or have an estimated time when she'll get out. I was hoping Humana would cover home health for her. I had the phone interview today but they had to reschedule it once they found out that she is currently in a nursing facility. The social worker recommended "Long term care solutions" so I think I'll call them for a free consultation (http://longtermcaresolutionsllc.com/). My mom has been there a few days but says she hasn't done any physical therapy yet.
Does the rehab facility have staff that can administer cognitive tests? You said her memory was not good. This might be a good chance to have her cognitive status thoroughly checked out.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by nonnie »

ralphboy wrote: Fri Jun 02, 2023 11:09 am I'm not sure the specifics about the therapy or have an estimated time when she'll get out. I was hoping Humana would cover home health for her. I had the phone interview today but they had to reschedule it once they found out that she is currently in a nursing facility. The social worker recommended "Long term care solutions" so I think I'll call them for a free consultation (http://longtermcaresolutionsllc.com/). My mom has been there a few days but says she hasn't done any physical therapy yet.
You have to be aggressive getting home health services but your Mom has good insurance w/Medicare and a secondary. Generally what is required to receive home health care is a necessary service-- like PT and OT --be sure to also ask for occupational therapy for your Mom. I have been able to get OT to assist with bathing and dressing and they can also administer cognitive tests-- in our out of rehab facility. Ask for OT now where she is.

This link tells you EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MEDICARE AND HOME HEALTH.

https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/home-health-services

Sending you some strength for your journey, you're doing a great job!
Last edited by nonnie on Fri Jun 02, 2023 5:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by biscuits »

Nonnie is right. As I noted at greater length in a post earlier in this thread, my late husband was discharged from a rehab center with orders for home health care, including PT, OT, and speech therapy. This continued for four months, with visits 4-5 days a week, and entirely paid for by Medicare. He had to be periodically re-evalutated and renewed to meet the Medicare requirements of improving, but not all the way there yet. I didn't have to fight for this upon discharge--it was just what the rehab center deemed he needed. I did have to advocate a bit for the renewals, but he needed them & got them.

Don't loose heart--you are making progress.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ResearchMed »

biscuits wrote: Fri Jun 02, 2023 4:46 pm Nonnie is right. As I noted at greater length in a post earlier in this thread, my late husband was discharged from a rehab center with orders for home health care, including PT, OT, and speech therapy. This continued for four months, with visits 4-5 days a week, and entirely paid for by Medicare. He had to be periodically re-evalutated and renewed to meet the Medicare requirements of improving, but not all the way there yet. I didn't have to fight for this upon discharge--it was just what the rehab center deemed he needed. I did have to advocate a bit for the renewals, but he needed them & got them.

Don't loose heart--you are making progress.

Others can chime in about this, but keep in mind that persistance pays in situations like this; don't accept the first "no". Ask for a supervisor, or tell them you'd like to explain further.
A key aspect is if the person "is not safe at home" (or wherever they suggest if you think there won't be enough care). Obviously, if a professional (e.g., physician, etc.) makes this statement, it will carry more weight, but if it's true, you should be able to get that documentation.
No one wants to be responsible for allowing something bad to happen, and especially not if they were given notice about the possibility.

And given your description of your mother's condition, I'd seriously consider finding out whether (or perhaps when in the near future?) she would appropriately need skilled nursing care. She can't see, she falls....
Skilled nursing is much easier for funding than assisted living, so at some point if she's needing the higher level of care, try to get that certified/approved, etc.

You are doing a great job, and it's really difficult to understand all the details, especially when it's all happening relatively fast. It's difficult enough when one has more advance notice for planning.

Try to find someone at one of the agencies (social worker, or whatever title) who is helpful, and keep in touch with them for assistance if the situation changes.
Everyone is "too busy", etc., so do make reminder calls if needed, etc., and let them know how much you appreciate their help. (It's too easy to forget to do this or even find the time, when it might feel like you are sort of drowning with urgent/emergency situations.)

Hope things go reasonably well for both of you.

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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by OuterBanks »

Dealing with this same issue with mother in law. What we found out in NC is the assisted living facility will accept Medicaid. Unfortunately, her social security of $1,500 puts her slightly above the max income limits of $1,300. However, if she ever needs memory care at the assisted living facility the Medicaid income limit becomes $1,700 which she will then qualify for.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ralphboy »

nonnie wrote: Fri Jun 02, 2023 3:21 pm
ralphboy wrote: Fri Jun 02, 2023 11:09 am I'm not sure the specifics about the therapy or have an estimated time when she'll get out. I was hoping Humana would cover home health for her. I had the phone interview today but they had to reschedule it once they found out that she is currently in a nursing facility. The social worker recommended "Long term care solutions" so I think I'll call them for a free consultation (http://longtermcaresolutionsllc.com/). My mom has been there a few days but says she hasn't done any physical therapy yet.
You have to be aggressive getting home health services but your Mom has good insurance w/Medicare and a secondary. Generally what is required to receive home health care is a necessary service-- like PT and OT --be sure to also ask for occupational therapy for your Mom. I have been able to get OT to assist with bathing and dressing and they can also administer cognitive tests-- in our out of rehab facility. Ask for OT now where she is.

This link tells you EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MEDICARE AND HOME HEALTH.

https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/home-health-services

Sending you some strength for your journey, you're doing a great job!
For my mom to get these services, do I have to speak to her primary care physician and then she puts in the order?

They did a quick memory test when asking my mom about DNR (Do not resuscitate). The social worker said 3 words and asked my mom to repeat them. Then asked her what day it was, what month, and then asked her if she remembered the 3 words and my mom got them correct.

Do you all think if I got an elder law attorney that they would kind of hold my hand through the process of applying for medicaid and helping me fill out all the other documents that I should get (I was going to ask about power of attorney and a living will. I'm not sure what else to inquire about). There was a negative review about the place I was going to call. Someone said that " even though they claimed they would handle everything, my brother was handling all the paperwork between the doctors office and the staff." Also, I'm not sure if it'll be much cheaper than the attorney, a few people said it was $5,000. I may try https://www.hilllawgroup.com/ instead.

I don't think my mom will be able to get on medicaid because she was well over the asset limit over the past 5 years.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by TN_Boy »

ralphboy wrote: Sat Jun 03, 2023 7:55 am
nonnie wrote: Fri Jun 02, 2023 3:21 pm
ralphboy wrote: Fri Jun 02, 2023 11:09 am I'm not sure the specifics about the therapy or have an estimated time when she'll get out. I was hoping Humana would cover home health for her. I had the phone interview today but they had to reschedule it once they found out that she is currently in a nursing facility. The social worker recommended "Long term care solutions" so I think I'll call them for a free consultation (http://longtermcaresolutionsllc.com/). My mom has been there a few days but says she hasn't done any physical therapy yet.
You have to be aggressive getting home health services but your Mom has good insurance w/Medicare and a secondary. Generally what is required to receive home health care is a necessary service-- like PT and OT --be sure to also ask for occupational therapy for your Mom. I have been able to get OT to assist with bathing and dressing and they can also administer cognitive tests-- in our out of rehab facility. Ask for OT now where she is.

This link tells you EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MEDICARE AND HOME HEALTH.

https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/home-health-services

Sending you some strength for your journey, you're doing a great job!
For my mom to get these services, do I have to speak to her primary care physician and then she puts in the order?

They did a quick memory test when asking my mom about DNR (Do not resuscitate). The social worker said 3 words and asked my mom to repeat them. Then asked her what day it was, what month, and then asked her if she remembered the 3 words and my mom got them correct.

Do you all think if I got an elder law attorney that they would kind of hold my hand through the process of applying for medicaid and helping me fill out all the other documents that I should get (I was going to ask about power of attorney and a living will. I'm not sure what else to inquire about). There was a negative review about the place I was going to call. Someone said that " even though they claimed they would handle everything, my brother was handling all the paperwork between the doctors office and the staff." Also, I'm not sure if it'll be much cheaper than the attorney, a few people said it was $5,000. I may try https://www.hilllawgroup.com/ instead.

I don't think my mom will be able to get on medicaid because she was well over the asset limit over the past 5 years.
The memory test you describe is not a test of cognitive ability. It would probably be appropriate for a full cognitive assessment to be done. I mean, elderly person with memory issues ... that's what you do. If she has cognitive issues she needs to be evaluated to be sure any problems are not due to medication, or other reversible causes.

I think several of us have said, more than once, you need to engage the services of an elder law attorney. In your situation I would, and I'm very familiar with long term care issues, dealing with hospitals and rehab centers, etc. But I've had no experience working with Medicaid and I'd want professional help with that. What you would be paying the attorney for is to specifically hold your hand working through the Medicaid issues. Be sure and understand what that will cost. But you have no choice ... she has no funds, and she needs a lot of expensive help. You can pay to have this sorted out as quickly as possible, or you can be paying a LOT more for her care out of pocket.

I think you should be speaking with her physicians quite a bit regardless of what orders you need put in! There has been a lot of back and forth in this thread about social workers saying this and that, but I'd have someone with an MD by their name putting in writing your mom's needs and issues. And explaining her prognosis to you, any testing required, etc. There is probably an MD responsible for monitoring her overall care at the rehab center. That is a person you want to be talking with to discuss everything and understanding what care she needs post-rehab. For example, does she need help 24x7?

Your mom is clearly not fully able to drive her own health care, which means, someone else in the family has to understand all her medical problems, and decide how to manage them. This means pushing for some medical interventions, and pushing back against others.

I know it is very painful when working to do all this, but it needs to be done. You also are in a good place right now because she is in rehab and all her needs are being taken care of and being paid by medicare. You have a little time ... use it well! And my best wishes to you.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ResearchMed »

ralphboy wrote: Sat Jun 03, 2023 7:55 am I don't think my mom will be able to get on medicaid because she was well over the asset limit over the past 5 years.

As just mentioned, several of us have been encouraging you to contact an expert, be it an attorney or a *knowledgeable* person at an elder affairs office (not just someone who asnwers the phones/makes appointments/etc.).

For example, what you just wrote (above) makes no sense, if you think about it.
For example, if someone had $100,000.00 and spent $50,000 per year for 2 years for appropriate assisted living care or medical expenses, they would *not* be disqualified from any medicaid services for 5 years. Even their regular living expenses would be considered appropriate use of the money. (In at least some jurisdictions, so would pre-payment of modest funeral expenses and other assorted services.)

Spending money *appropriately* is what many people carefully do to "spend down" any extra assets. That "expert" can guide you about what is "appropriate": medical care/etc., is; a vacation splurge for the entire family... is not.

You are spinning your wheels - and having a lot of unnecessary worry/aggravation by not getting the advice of a professional who is familiar with the local situation and requirements.

And yes, the input from an MD would be required at some point, so it would make sense to be in contact with that physician so you and they could be thinking about planning, sooner or later.
Especially if your mother is being seen by a physician who specializes in geriatrics, that physician should be familiar with these procedures, at least in general. That would be in terms of "care" needs, not the financial issues.

The local person/expert (attorney or elder affairs specialist) will know the answers to just about all of your questions... and who to ask about other questions. And they will also help you through other questions you have, as well as issues you may not yet have considered. That's "what they do".
Please help yourself to get some good answers for your mother's specific situation.

RM
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by nonnie »

Is your Mom's primary care physician overseeing her care in the hospital? He/she would be the very best one to request PT/OT and home care services. I believe they have to be requested by a physician. Perhaps the hospitalist overseeing her care in the hospital? Someone needs to write the orders for her rehab and someone needs to write the orders for her discharge from rehab. it is sometimes a problem to speak with a physician at rehab as they generally aren't part time.

You need to: get in touch with her primary care physician and figure out how to aggressively deal with her needs/services going forward. This is mandatory, you should be in constant contact with his/her office. Perhaps they have a physician's assistant or nurse practitioner who can liaison w/you and even write orders.

You need to: contact and engage an elder care attorney ASAP as you have been told from the beginning. Do you need help finding one? Yes, it's going to cost money but will save you in the end.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ralphboy »

I'm not sure what physician is in charge of my mom's health while she's in rehab. They weren't giving her her eye drops at night to prevent glaucoma (Latanoprost) until I wrote a note saying she needed it. Her primary care knows she fell again and broke her ankle. The elder care attorney fee is $5,000-$10,000. I am debating about contacting them or http://www.medicaid4youllc.com/ (Which has all positive reviews). My mom said she wants to go home which contradicts what she said earlier about being afraid to be alone. She has fallen several times this month but prior to that she was doing ok. She isn't totally helpless. She can shower in a chair, use the bathroom, and use the microwave to make meals. She does need someone to tidy up her place and help with laundry and to check her refrigerator for moldy foods, as well as remind her to take her medicines and makes sure she takes all of them out of the pill box.

I'm going to tell her about my plans for getting more help and ask her if she wants me to try to get her in assisted living. When she was in the hospital both times and in rehab at the other place, I never heard from a physician about how she's doing.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by increment »

ralphboy wrote: Sun Jun 04, 2023 7:17 am When she was in the hospital both times and in rehab at the other place, I never heard from a physician about how she's doing.
Unfortunately, often no one will contact you (i.e., the family member of the patient) unless they need something in particular, for example to make a choice or to agree to something. Probably no one else has a top priority to make sure that you are informed and ready to do what needs to be done.
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by cs412a »

ralphboy wrote: Sun Jun 04, 2023 7:17 am I'm not sure what physician is in charge of my mom's health while she's in rehab. They weren't giving her her eye drops at night to prevent glaucoma (Latanoprost) until I wrote a note saying she needed it. Her primary care knows she fell again and broke her ankle. The elder care attorney fee is $5,000-$10,000. I am debating about contacting them or http://www.medicaid4youllc.com/ (Which has all positive reviews). My mom said she wants to go home which contradicts what she said earlier about being afraid to be alone. She has fallen several times this month but prior to that she was doing ok. She isn't totally helpless. She can shower in a chair, use the bathroom, and use the microwave to make meals. She does need someone to tidy up her place and help with laundry and to check her refrigerator for moldy foods, as well as remind her to take her medicines and makes sure she takes all of them out of the pill box.

I'm going to tell her about my plans for getting more help and ask her if she wants me to try to get her in assisted living. When she was in the hospital both times and in rehab at the other place, I never heard from a physician about how she's doing.
OP, I know everything going on is pretty overwhelming. Hang in there.

This is what the Florida power of attorney form looks like:

https://www.aaapbtc.org/sites/default/f ... eyform.pdf

I got it from this website: https://www.aaapbtc.org/client-caregiver-resources

You can call their Helpline at 866-684-5885 to get information on programs that could help your mom and information on how you can get assistance in setting up a power of attorney.

If your mom doesn’t live in the area they cover, they should still be able to tell you which area agency on aging you should contact to get the information and help you need.

Your mom should be able to get legal assistance from legal aid, so I would look into that asap before hiring an attorney. You can call 1-888-895-7873.

I used this website to get that information: https://law.elderaffairs.org/legal-serv ... -helpline/.

Best wishes for you and your mom.
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ralphboy
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Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:09 pm

Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by ralphboy »

Thanks for the help, yes I would like to save some money by not having an attorney. This process is frustrating because every time I talk to someone they give me a phone number of someone else to talk to who then gives me another phone number lol.
Pistachioicecream
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by Pistachioicecream »

Ralphboy - I am currently responsible for my elderly aunt. It is overwhelming. I strongly support Research Med's and others' advice that you seek the counsel of an elder attorney. Even though it will cost money look at it this way: it is a legitimate way of spending down some of your mom's resources. You will be able to meet in person with the lawyer and obtain specific advice for your mom's situation. It will be worth every penny.

Best regards to you & your mom,
Pistachio
nordsteve
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by nordsteve »

You expressed a concern in an earlier post about being personally liable for debts via the power of attorney. When signing on behalf of someone, you need to be careful to sign documents in the correct form. Check out this link for advice on exactly how to do it.

https://attorney-faq.com/how-to-sign-ti ... f-attorney
cs412a
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by cs412a »

ralphboy wrote: Sun Jun 04, 2023 10:13 am Thanks for the help, yes I would like to save some money by not having an attorney. This process is frustrating because every time I talk to someone they give me a phone number of someone else to talk to who then gives me another phone number lol.
OP, if you need an attorney, it’s worth the money. However, your mom may be eligible for legal assistance through legal aid so you may want to check that out first.

I think you will need a power of attorney for your mom whatever you decide to do. After you get the information on how to set that up, she will need to be involved in that process - she will need to understand what a power of attorney is and agree to give you the power of attorney. An attorney can help you both understand the process and how to use the power of attorney.

If your mom needed legal assistance and qualified for legal aid, she wouldn’t be charged anything.

If you do have to pay for an attorney, what your mom will be charged will depend on how much work the attorney does. They generally charge by the hour. If you are going to have an attorney do a lot of work, they will ask for money upfront (a retainer) to make sure they get paid. The hourly fees are taken from the retainer as the attorney does the work that earns the fees. Sometimes attorneys charge a flat fee for simple legal work - e.g., $200 for a power of attorney. I doubt you would be charged $5000 simply to set up a durable power of attorney because it doesn’t take that much time to set up.
MtnTraveler
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by MtnTraveler »

ralphboy wrote: Sun Jun 04, 2023 10:13 am Thanks for the help, yes I would like to save some money by not having an attorney. This process is frustrating because every time I talk to someone they give me a phone number of someone else to talk to who then gives me another phone number lol.
You need an elder attorney STAT! What you need help with is going to take an eternity to do on your own, cost you more money than you realize, and you frankly don't have the time. It is likely that even with your mom's permission the dr's are not going to talk to you. You need a medical power of attorney NOW if you can even get one anymore. It sounds like your mom may very well be on the edge of an attorney letting her sign one. That attorney can get all the necessary POAs (financial and medical), walk you through what exactly you need to do and how it needs to be done for medicaid. You don't realize it but you are making your journey with your mom sooo much harder and mentally draining than it has to be. Thing is time is of the essence!!!!

My brother and I have found out the hard way that if you lose that magic opening to get all the necessary POAs (financial and medical) in place your journey is going to be harder than you can ever imagine. Don't be like us!
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cheese_breath
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Re: Doctor says my mom should be in an assisted living facility but we can't afford it

Post by cheese_breath »

MtnTraveler wrote: Sun Jun 04, 2023 10:04 pm ..... My brother and I have found out the hard way that if you lose that magic opening to get all the necessary POAs (financial and medical) in place your journey is going to be harder than you can ever imagine. Don't be like us!
+1000
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.
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