Solo Seniors: what are you doing to plan for the possibility of dementia/alzheimer's?

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Lee_WSP
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Re: Solo Seniors: what are you doing to plan for the possibility of dementia/alzheimer's?

Post by Lee_WSP »

montanagirl wrote: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:55 am Maybe it's a coincidence. But what I'm afraid of is that once everything is being done for you, like meals, you just kinda give up. So I am reluctant to start the ball rolling.

Would the limited options make a difference to anyone else?
Quality of life is always a concern and should take priority over financial affairs. If one is able to live independently until the rest of one’s days, this would of course be ideal. However, there is always a good or near certain probability that we will not be able to live with complete independence past a certain age (around 80 or so). Throw in the possibility of cognitive decline and planning for the end of one’s life becomes a rather complex game of tradeoffs and plans which require a lot of flexibility since the future is unknown and the various paths we take have vastly different outcomes.
TN_Boy
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Re: Solo Seniors: what are you doing to plan for the possibility of dementia/alzheimer's?

Post by TN_Boy »

Zonian59 wrote: Mon Jun 27, 2022 12:47 am
M.Lee wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 5:08 pm
Mudpuppy wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 1:14 pm My main concern is avoiding predators out for my resources, particularly since there's a prevailing bias that physically frail is the same as mentally frail, when that is not always the case. There was an extensive problem in a nearby state of predatory "conservators" essentially stealing the resources of wealthy elders in such facilities, even ones who had active family caregivers, through corruption of the court-appointed conservator process. They'd get themselves appointed by the courts as conservator (through falsified medical and other statements), move the elders to far cheaper and more poorly run facilities without disclosing their new location to their friends and family members, and then drain their finances dry. It makes me wonder how one can protect oneself from being a victim to a similar situation.
This is precisely my concern and it literally keeps me up at night sometimes. So far on this thread I haven't read from a poster that has zero family. That's my situation.

When this subject is brought up in discussion, people usually suggest seeing an attorney, getting a power of attorney, etc. As you mentioned above, court appointed conservators can be evil. And really, by the time you need one how will you go about getting one. It's a horrible situation for the elderly senior alone.

I would not even consider a CCRC because what you see now may be completely different later on, as poster MontanaGirl writes. I guess I am hoping that I die before I get to the point of needing this kind of help (seriously).
I have zero family. What is also bothering me is that I inherited some valuable stuff from my parents as well as accumulated my own stuff that I'm trying to find homes for before I die. That's another issue solo seniors face: What to do with valuable possessions when you have no children or relatives to pass them on to.
If they are truly valuable, then surely there is some organization -- a museum, a charity, something, that can either take those items and use them, or sell them. Or perhaps there are (younger ...) friends that would benefit from those items.
TN_Boy
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Re: Solo Seniors: what are you doing to plan for the possibility of dementia/alzheimer's?

Post by TN_Boy »

Zonian59 wrote: Mon Jun 27, 2022 12:36 am This is a very significant discussion that I'm trying to figure out.....while I'm still have cognizance. I can't help thinking there's a big train wreck in the making.

I am a solo male ager/senior at age 63 having no siblings, no spouse, family, children, relatives. My father passed away decades ago and my mother just recently passed away at age 95 from Dementia/Alzheimer's. I was her only child and only immediate relative and spent the last ten years as her caregiver as she didn't want to be cared for by strangers or living in a nursing home. So she lived with me and I had part-time caregiver help, but my mother had trust issues with them. When I retired five years ago, I transitioned to a solo full-time caregiver and cared for her until she died. Now I'm concerned about that soon-to-happen train wreck. Have few friends.

I have a real concern about dementia/alzheimers' eventually catching up to me and how I will get things in order, particular finances. Fortunately my house is fully paid off and I have savings and investments equivalent to about 35x expenses.
I'm still l in relative good health, but I anticipate that will change within the next 10-12 years.
But I still have no fully defined Will, Trusts, etc. because of a lack of Trustee and Beneficiaries in mind.
Then there's the POA and medical and financials. Again no one in mind. I have a credit union, bank and brokerage and I've met the branch managers and staff and talked about Corporate Trust Services. They don't seem interested in providing the service.

Most of the books referenced and responses here mentions reliance on some relatives and having a will, trust, estate plan with a designated POA, Trustee, Beneficiaries, etc. But what if you have nobody? Literally nobody to count on as a safety net? What are the options, if any?
Your situation could happen to many people; a long-lived married couple with no children for example.

As you describe the situation, the main thing to do is probably work on enhancing your social network. As an introverted person, I can understand how such things can be difficult, but that is probably the main thing to do. Churches, clubs, hobbies etc. There are people out there.

Even if you don't do a POA yet, you still want to do a will, so that your assets could go to some worthy cause you would like to support. The estate-planning savvy attorney you use for the will might have suggestions on POAs, etc.
TN_Boy
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Re: Solo Seniors: what are you doing to plan for the possibility of dementia/alzheimer's?

Post by TN_Boy »

delamer wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 5:19 pm
montanagirl wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 4:54 pm I figured on moving to a CCRC eventually but my husband is 10 years older than I and probably should be in one now at 83 but I don't feel ready of course.

Right now I wonder about these places' ability to stay staffed. A friend is in an independent living "manor" and they are down to one meal a day because they can't find kitchen staff. They could lose their HUD certification.

It's bad enough that there are no real standards for the aides, aside from the actual nurses. Anyone can get hired right now. :o
I’m not surprised to hear that CCRCs are suffering from the same staffing issues as other employers.

But if you are still considering one, you need to get on a waitlist as soon as possible. Waitlists allow don’t require a commitment, to my knowledge.
I don't see that the standard of care for the assisted living part of a CCRC would be any better than that of a stand-alone facility. Staffing is a major major problem for such places. The CNAs (some/all will be CNA certified) don't get paid much and it is hard work. In my area the best patient to staff ratios are at group homes.

In practice, people hire extra help when a family member is in a care facility and they want/need more care than the facility can give. Yes, this means they might be paying saying 80k to be in an assisted living facility plus X hours a day of extra help coming into the facility. If you have money, that is an option. Note that no care facility has a 1-1 staff to patient ratio, so unless you have a private aide sitting by your bed, there will be times when a patient wants or needs attention and it does not come for a while. This is an unfortunate reality.
calwatch
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Re: Solo Seniors: what are you doing to plan for the possibility of dementia/alzheimer's?

Post by calwatch »

Zonian59 wrote: Mon Jun 27, 2022 12:47 am I have zero family. What is also bothering me is that I inherited some valuable stuff from my parents as well as accumulated my own stuff that I'm trying to find homes for before I die. That's another issue solo seniors face: What to do with valuable possessions when you have no children or relatives to pass them on to.
I have someone I serve on a board with who is in the Motion Picture Television Home in Woodland Hills, which functionally is a CCRC. He is in his early 80's and donated much of his collection of transit and historical ephemera to USC. He still has quite a bit of stuff but it is well organized and should be relatively easy to transfer once he dies. I visited him a while back and have been meaning to visit him more except he lives 50 miles away. Although he is introverted (as a behind the scenes film engineer), never married, no children or nearby family, he has met quite a few people through the CCRC and seemed to have good relations with him, based on an afternoon I spent. The nice thing about that CCRC is that it is well funded through donations from the film industry. Once you are in and buy in, odds are you stay until death. The bad news is the long waiting list. My friend is not a rich person but he did sell his childhood home in central Los Angeles to buy in and that should be sufficient to take him to the end. The thing he usually gripes about is how management wants to keep their self contained campus and discourage even independent living seniors from venturing out. https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/ ... ht-789863/

Interestingly, serving on various boards you do get to meet quite a few older single men (and a few women). While my relationship with them is mostly professional, I do get to know a bit about how each of them is handling this. Some don't and just die with relatives flying from two states over and most of their collections trashed. I know we all accumulate too much stuff to fill our homes over the years and it's a reminder for me to start curating the things I have and at least not add to the pile.
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