Relocate when Remote

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Topic Author
cowbman
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Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

I'm in the fortunate situation of being 80% remote, but I'm on new child leave. This is allowing me to work remote 100% for 3 months when I return. This helps a lot as we are not in town. We are instead out of town where both sets of grandparents live. We moved to a small PNW town last year and purchased a wonderful (non-BH) home. I like the town minus winter (at times) and smoke from wildfires. It has some of the best people I've ever met in terms of reasonableness and friendliness without being fake. P2 does not care for it. If I move to 100% remote, this would grant us the opportunity to relocate. My parents are retired. P2's parents are semi-retired. P2 would like to relocate somewhere with better weather (ie no snow and it'd be better if there was an ocean around) and better restaurants and shopping. We relocated from SoCal last year.

After living in a small town, I realize how much I dislike dealing with traffic. It's not just the commute to/from work, but traffic to go to physician appointments, grocery, retail, etc, etc. Family all live in a very large metropolitan area with not the worst, but bad traffic. I grew up there and never was a fan. P2 would like to either be near family in large metro or California. My preference would be something more like Prescott, AZ or Albuquerque, NM. I prefer the weather and small-ish towns with amenities I need (Costco, Grocery/Farmer Markets, airport, etc). I'm wondering if any of these are a better option or to stay where we are. While the retail I would consider to be sufficient where we are, P2 disagrees, and about every 2-3 months we drive to the large metro so she may take advantage of the amenities. Prescott has better weather than where we are and is much closer to a large metro with the amenities P2 prefers. It's also driving distance to friends in SoCal. Airport is very small and would require the haul to PHX. NM has much less, but airport is much closer. Obviously, taxes are worse in NM too. NM is a long day's drive to family.

I don't want to let the tax tail wag the dog here, but I am much more relieved to accommodate P2's spending habits saving as much as we do on taxes/COL vs SoCal. Thoughts?

Appreciated

cowbman
sailaway
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by sailaway »

Have you ever lived in any of the smaller cities in SoCal, such as north county San Diego, Ventura, Santa Barbara counties, etc?
Topic Author
cowbman
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

We lived in North County. The commute on I-5 could be absolutely killer. Santa Barbara would be the best option, but we cannot afford it.
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Watty
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by Watty »

cowbman wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:12 pmThoughts?
What is P2?

You might get better responses if your post is clearer. You can use the icon with the pencil on it to edit your post.
sailaway
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by sailaway »

cowbman wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:25 pm We lived in North County. The commute on I-5 could be absolutely killer. Santa Barbara would be the best option, but we cannot afford it.
Looks like there isn't much difference in COL between Oxnard and Prescott, whereas I imagine I would feel an enormous difference in QOL between the two.
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cowbman
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

P2 is spouse
dukeblue219
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by dukeblue219 »

Watty wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:44 pm
cowbman wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:12 pmThoughts?
What is P2?

You might get better responses if your post is clearer. You can use the icon with the pencil on it to edit your post.
It's internet for parent #2. Like writing DS or DD for dear son and dear daughter.
Topic Author
cowbman
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

sailaway wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:52 pm
cowbman wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:25 pm We lived in North County. The commute on I-5 could be absolutely killer. Santa Barbara would be the best option, but we cannot afford it.
Looks like there isn't much difference in COL between Oxnard and Prescott, whereas I imagine I would feel an enormous difference in QOL between the two.
Ventura County isn't a bad idea, but the California taxes and COL will comprise our finances in a way that makes me uncomfortable without another source of income.
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cowbman
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

I wonder if Reno should be added to the discussion too. Las Vegas ticks all the boxes, but not sure want to raise a kid there.
safari
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by safari »

cowbman wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 9:36 pm I wonder if Reno should be added to the discussion too. Las Vegas ticks all the boxes, but not sure want to raise a kid there.
Reno can get really cold in winter.
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Watty
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by Watty »

Right after the birth of a child can be a rough time for a relationship especially if it is the first kid.

It sounds more like a relationship question than financial so you might want to consider getting some professional couples counseling to help figure out what you want to do next.
tashnewbie
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by tashnewbie »

It's not clear to me if you'll be permanently 100% remote after you return from parental leave.

If not, why would you relocate somewhere that is in a different state from your job? Would it be practical from a commuting standpoint for you to move to SoCal or NM?

I agree that you and your spouse need to be on the same page about where you want to live.
Topic Author
cowbman
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

As commenter pointed out, it's not a done deal, but I say odds are very good. As this would be a large process and take time, I'm looking into it now.

P.S. I'm not sure we can afford SoCal.
Topic Author
cowbman
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

Watty wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 11:38 pm Right after the birth of a child can be a rough time for a relationship especially if it is the first kid.

It sounds more like a relationship question than financial so you might want to consider getting some professional couples counseling to help figure out what you want to do next.
Relationship is solid, just trying to appease spouse.
tj
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by tj »

cowbman wrote: Thu Jun 08, 2023 9:19 am As commenter pointed out, it's not a done deal, but I say odds are very good. As this would be a large process and take time, I'm looking into it now.

P.S. I'm not sure we can afford SoCal.
You just lived in SoCal. Why can't you afford it anymore?
muffins14
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by muffins14 »

cowbman wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:59 pm
sailaway wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:52 pm
cowbman wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:25 pm We lived in North County. The commute on I-5 could be absolutely killer. Santa Barbara would be the best option, but we cannot afford it.
Looks like there isn't much difference in COL between Oxnard and Prescott, whereas I imagine I would feel an enormous difference in QOL between the two.
Ventura County isn't a bad idea, but the California taxes and COL will comprise our finances in a way that makes me uncomfortable without another source of income.
Is it possible for someone to get a raise or promotion, or have both maxed out from a career perspective? Perhaps there also some tax deductions etc you can get as a new family?
Crom laughs at your Four Winds
THY4373
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by THY4373 »

dukeblue219 wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:58 pm
It's internet for parent #2. Like writing DS or DD for dear son and dear daughter.
I think it is actually player 2 and in a context like this it usually refers to a significant other who may or may not be a spouse and/or parent.
campy2010
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by campy2010 »

Long term, rural towns tend to have poor schools and limited access to quality healthcare among other downsides. At the end of the day, this is a marital issue more than a financial/location issue. Find a place you both agreed on that supports your career.
MoonOrb
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by MoonOrb »

It sounds like one or both of you need to compromise as the things you both think are important are not compatible. In that case, I'd be inclined to base my decision on moving to where I'd be most employable in the future should the 100% remote work option no longer be viable because you want to change roles, you are released in a re-org, your company changes its mind on remote work, etc.
Gradient Descent
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by Gradient Descent »

Considering industry trends, I wouldn’t assume remote work stays an option forever. Plenty of companies that became “remote first/forever” are ordering employees back to the office.
Topic Author
cowbman
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

tj wrote: Sun Jun 11, 2023 9:13 am
cowbman wrote: Thu Jun 08, 2023 9:19 am As commenter pointed out, it's not a done deal, but I say odds are very good. As this would be a large process and take time, I'm looking into it now.

P.S. I'm not sure we can afford SoCal.
You just lived in SoCal. Why can't you afford it anymore?
We were in an apartment. Need a house now, which we cannot afford.
Topic Author
cowbman
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

Thanks all. I have a government position that is guaranteed via union, so forcing me to return completely is very difficult
Topic Author
cowbman
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

MoonOrb wrote: Sun Jun 11, 2023 12:10 pm It sounds like one or both of you need to compromise as the things you both think are important are not compatible. In that case, I'd be inclined to base my decision on moving to where I'd be most employable in the future should the 100% remote work option no longer be viable because you want to change roles, you are released in a re-org, your company changes its mind on remote work, etc.
This is definitely an issue. We inherently want different things. I don't want traffic and P2 doesn't want isolated or LBYM.
Topic Author
cowbman
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

muffins14 wrote: Sun Jun 11, 2023 9:37 am
cowbman wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:59 pm
sailaway wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:52 pm
cowbman wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 8:25 pm We lived in North County. The commute on I-5 could be absolutely killer. Santa Barbara would be the best option, but we cannot afford it.
Looks like there isn't much difference in COL between Oxnard and Prescott, whereas I imagine I would feel an enormous difference in QOL between the two.
Ventura County isn't a bad idea, but the California taxes and COL will comprise our finances in a way that makes me uncomfortable without another source of income.
Is it possible for someone to get a raise or promotion, or have both maxed out from a career perspective? Perhaps there also some tax deductions etc you can get as a new family?
Good ideas. I'm basically maxed out without getting a second job. P2 is staying home with child for now.
tj
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by tj »

cowbman wrote: Sun Jun 11, 2023 2:07 pm Thanks all. I have a government position that is guaranteed via union, so forcing me to return completely is very difficult
You seem extremely confident that this government cannot agency cannot direct you to go back into the office. This seems rather risky - government agencies can make changes at the whims of elected politicians/citizens. I don't know of any union that can guarantee that you can continue to work from home for as long as you like.
Topic Author
cowbman
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

tj wrote: Sun Jun 11, 2023 3:14 pm
cowbman wrote: Sun Jun 11, 2023 2:07 pm Thanks all. I have a government position that is guaranteed via union, so forcing me to return completely is very difficult
You seem extremely confident that this government cannot agency cannot direct you to go back into the office. This seems rather risky - government agencies can make changes at the whims of elected politicians/citizens. I don't know of any union that can guarantee that you can continue to work from home for as long as you like.
I also have two positions for which I've been accepted in the same agency that are remote positions.
Topic Author
cowbman
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by cowbman »

tj wrote: Sun Jun 11, 2023 3:14 pm
cowbman wrote: Sun Jun 11, 2023 2:07 pm Thanks all. I have a government position that is guaranteed via union, so forcing me to return completely is very difficult
You seem extremely confident that this government cannot agency cannot direct you to go back into the office. This seems rather risky - government agencies can make changes at the whims of elected politicians/citizens. I don't know of any union that can guarantee that you can continue to work from home for as long as you like.
If not I can always find other telework positions. My job is always in demand, but supply/demand don't apply to pay in my field.
Nowizard
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Re: Relocate when Remote

Post by Nowizard »

Our small town, well not that small in my histor since it is 60,000 approximately and adjacent to a much larger city, has ready access to Costco and other major stores within ten miles at most. One of the key issues for us is the traffic which is minimal. Less than two miles to HD, Lowe's, Kroger's, and other stores, walking distance to a 300 acre park, two miles to another of a similar size, etc. We have relatives in Nashville where we visit about twice a month. The traffic is terrible and enough to avoid moving there, though the housing costs are absurd compared to where we live currently. Our house would sell for approximately $400 a sf in Nashville, compared to selling prices of approximately $180 in our subdivision which is definitely upscale. A Ford plant is coming in within driving distance for workers, and the Ford people's comment when taking an aerial tour over our city was "Wow! The houses are so big and nice for excellent prices."
Tim
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