Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

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rich126
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Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by rich126 »

Its taken me nearly 60 years to realize this but I first recall this quote from, bizarrely enough, Star Trek -
“Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived. After all Number One, we're only mortal.”
Jean-Luc Picard
And you have this famous quote that I either ignored in school or missed.
“Its the not the Destination, It's the journey.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
I've reached a few milestones over the last decade and most recently retirement. My last day of work was the end of January and I don't think it was a big deal because at the time I had several offers to take another job. The one I accepted was going to start next week but I decided to turn it down so unless something changes I am retired.

I had expected some big celebration or relief when I hit that milestone but I didn't. Just feel older but not celebratory. Most likely I have enough money to retire on, nothing extravagant but barring unusual financial occurrences we should be fine and much better than average, especially when we start collecting social security down the road.

When I first hit a savings goal like $1M I expected some big excitement but nope, nothing. Portfolio went over it, and I think quickly back under it before then it grew further.

I had a pretty good plan where I was going to move back into a nice house I had out west after kicking out the renters since it was one level but plans changed and I sold it and now pondering buying a new place. Some minor health issues have kept me from planning any fancy vacations so I don't have that to look forward to and honestly travel wears me out especially the airport/flying experience and road trips more than an hour or so I find difficult.

While I'm not a young retiree I'd imagine compared to most retirees I'm younger than average (late 50s lets say w/o too many details). I think in some ways the excitement or relief is diminished by losing my parents, most recently my father in late 2021 and also a long time friend in 2020.

While it is nice to be able to wake up in the morning and just go back to bed, or avoid driving in traffic or bad weather and avoid dealing with nonsensical business rules or people who have no interest in working, it just feels strange for now. I think once we settle into a retirement home it will be a bit different. I'm also hoping that we might take a long trip using FF miles/points to Europe and just explore w/o being stuck to a 10 day or 2 week vacation limit due to going back to work.

Anyhow, am I the rare person that feels this way upon reaching major goals?
----------------------------- | If you think something is important and it doesn't involve the health of someone, think again. Life goes too fast, enjoy it and be nice.
Normchad
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by Normchad »

rich126 wrote: Sat Apr 01, 2023 9:25 am Its taken me nearly 60 years to realize this but I first recall this quote from, bizarrely enough, Star Trek -
“Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived. After all Number One, we're only mortal.”
Jean-Luc Picard
And you have this famous quote that I either ignored in school or missed.
“Its the not the Destination, It's the journey.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
I've reached a few milestones over the last decade and most recently retirement. My last day of work was the end of January and I don't think it was a big deal because at the time I had several offers to take another job. The one I accepted was going to start next week but I decided to turn it down so unless something changes I am retired.

I had expected some big celebration or relief when I hit that milestone but I didn't. Just feel older but not celebratory. Most likely I have enough money to retire on, nothing extravagant but barring unusual financial occurrences we should be fine and much better than average, especially when we start collecting social security down the road.

When I first hit a savings goal like $1M I expected some big excitement but nope, nothing. Portfolio went over it, and I think quickly back under it before then it grew further.

I had a pretty good plan where I was going to move back into a nice house I had out west after kicking out the renters since it was one level but plans changed and I sold it and now pondering buying a new place. Some minor health issues have kept me from planning any fancy vacations so I don't have that to look forward to and honestly travel wears me out especially the airport/flying experience and road trips more than an hour or so I find difficult.

While I'm not a young retiree I'd imagine compared to most retirees I'm younger than average (late 50s lets say w/o too many details). I think in some ways the excitement or relief is diminished by losing my parents, most recently my father in late 2021 and also a long time friend in 2020.

While it is nice to be able to wake up in the morning and just go back to bed, or avoid driving in traffic or bad weather and avoid dealing with nonsensical business rules or people who have no interest in working, it just feels strange for now. I think once we settle into a retirement home it will be a bit different. I'm also hoping that we might take a long trip using FF miles/points to Europe and just explore w/o being stuck to a 10 day or 2 week vacation limit due to going back to work.

Anyhow, am I the rare person that feels this way upon reaching major goals?
I feel the same way. I low key suspect though that there is something wrong with my brain chemistry. I can’t feel “joy” and “elation” like I used too.

But many many years ago, when I hit a major financial milestone that I thought was unattainable, it was a “meh” moment. Others in the forum have previously said they had the same experience when first realizing they were millionaires.
Last edited by Normchad on Sat Apr 01, 2023 9:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
Mike Scott
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by Mike Scott »

Give yourself some time settle into new circumstances. Make some new goals.
jaqenhghar
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by jaqenhghar »

This is a fantastic post, OP. I am a few decades behind you, so I cannot offer any substantive answers. I look forward, however, to closely following this thread.
mega317
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by mega317 »

Sounds like you haven’t really “experienced” your goals yet. Check back after actually taking that long vacation and settling into your retirement home. Those are goals. Sleeping in and not driving or a cell in a spreadsheet adding a comma aren’t really goals.
Sam_957
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by Sam_957 »

This is very common. Upon reaching your goal, you move onto the next goal.

https://medium.com/the-mission/the-happ ... 43ebc788bf

We have an imagined future self and they don’t always behave and feel the way we think they will.
My other vehicle is an index fund.
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AnnetteLouisan
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by AnnetteLouisan »

I reached $1M a while back and was pleased but too busy to celebrate. I reached $2M recently and thought: “that’s nice. That’s really very nice.” But now it’s on to the next one.

I got certain raises and I’m pleased.

I do exult in certain things but they are less about achievement these days and more about people.

(Anticlimactic, not anticlimatic)
Last edited by AnnetteLouisan on Sat Apr 01, 2023 3:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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rocket354
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by rocket354 »

You are not alone. I am very similar, although not as of yet retired.

I think everything you describe is just another aspect of hedonistic adaptation. When a goal is far off then it is an exciting and exotic concept that is so compelling in part because it is so out of reach and so different from the "everyday normal." Whether it's having $1 million saved, or retiring, or getting into a certain college, or getting a certain job, when the goal is first conceived it can start to, undeservedly, feel like "if only I can achieve this, then I'll have it made!"

But most things worth accomplishing take work. Outside of lottery winners (and I guess, for some, RSU vesting), you don't get a million dollars overnight You get to a million by getting to $950,000 first, and before that, $900,000, and before that, $850,000, etc, etc. Did you feel any lasting excitement when you reached $60,000 after having been at $50,000? Probably nothing more than a momentary "hey, look at that," if you even noticed it at all. And like so, we all adapt along the way, so by the time $1,000,000 came around, you'd already adapted to $950,000 and so that additional step was just that--one single step that wasn't any sort of paradigm-shifting accomplishment that having $1 million seemed like it would be when you had nothing but $500 in your account.

Likewise, by the time you've worked at your craft and learned the ropes of business and interviewing and climbed the corporate ladder, then what was once your "out of reach dream job" is just one single step above what you've previously accomplished and accorded as much excitement as such deserves. A dinner out, maybe?

Kids get Christmas (or cultural equivalents) where one day they don't have the Playstation and the next day they do. But even after a week or two, hedonistic adaptation takes over and that Playstation is the new normal for them. But they do get to experience for a day, or an hour, what have you, pure bliss as their entire world has changed. Adults don't get that feeling much if at all. Because every accomplishment is just one more small step in a long path, one of many long paths we are all on (jobs, finances, relationships, health, social status, etc), and so that tally mark just gets lost in the blizzard of tally marks we are all continually drawing every day.
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by kd2008 »

I felt a new-to-me joy when we hit the two comma club first time ever. We have been whiskers away from the 2nd million since Dec 2021. Now it is coming closer again thanks to the recent run.

I will feel joy when it eventually happens but it will be different than the first time.

There is marginal utility of wealth that is coming into play. 2nd one is great but not as new as the first one. Also, the investments did more work than my savings. I suspect and really hope that investments will do all the work at some point in future. At that time it may feel even less of a personal achievement and more like fruits of delayed gratification.

Thank you for bringing into focus the emotional process and our relationship to investment portfolio scorecard.
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by Wrench »

Sharing the achievement of reaching my goals has helped me relish them more. When I reached $1M, I sat down with my oldest son, then a teenager, and showed him the numbers. He was impressed and that made it seem more real and important. When I paid the last tuition payment for my youngest son, my two older children took me out to dinner to celebrate, and to thank me for getting them through college with no student loans. Sharing my journey with loved ones has helped me appreciate my progress, and brought me closer to them too.

Wrench
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by snowday2022 »

Wrench wrote: Sat Apr 01, 2023 3:11 pm Sharing the achievement of reaching my goals has helped me relish them more. When I reached $1M, I sat down with my oldest son, then a teenager, and showed him the numbers. He was impressed and that made it seem more real and important. When I paid the last tuition payment for my youngest son, my two older children took me out to dinner to celebrate, and to thank me for getting them through college with no student loans. Sharing my journey with loved ones has helped me appreciate my progress, and brought me closer to them too.

Wrench
Great post.
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by ThankYouJack »

I've felt similar. One thing I watch out for is moving goal posts and the hedonic treadmill of financial milestones. $1M can feel nice, but then you want $2M. Once two is hit, you start thinking about $3M or $5M and each milestone becomes less exciting. How is that enriching one's life?

For me, I try setting a maximum on my financial goals. Anything over that is gravy and should be used frivolously
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by johnegonpdx »

It really depends on what one's goals are. My financial goal is to die with enough private assets left to protect and care for my severely disabled daughter for the rest of her life. That requires me to spend, save, and invest as wisely as possible, but I also need to do what I can to promote relevant public policies and social services that will utilize both her public and private resources effectively and efficiently.

If I ever feel like I've reached these goals, I'm pretty sure it will feel anything but "anticlimactic"
Fallible
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by Fallible »

It really sounds more as if you're still. on a journey rather than having reached a destination(s), i.e., still looking for some sort of satisfaction that a planned destination can bring. The two very recent deaths you mention of people close to you could have a bearing on this. It's also possible you haven't yet identified a true destination. In any case, time and patience may help.

As for Emerson, I've always enjoyed reading him, but the quote you mention never rang true with me as I think both are important. Without a destination, a goal, the journey could seem aimless, more like wandering and looking for a goal. The journey, however, can end up being more important in some cases, such as if the destination turned out to be the wrong one, or once reached, a call to begin a new journey. Then again, who am I to argue with Ralph Waldo Emerson?
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rich126
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by rich126 »

I think some goals generate very little excitement because they become inevitable. It is one thing to be in your 30s thinking you have decades to retirement and strike gold in winning the lottery or stock options, etc. vs. getting to your 50s looking at finances and knowing it is inevitable barring medical/financial disaster.

If I was a young person trying to make it to the major leagues in baseball and then finally achieve it, I could imagine that being exciting since most, even those that get drafted seldom make it that far.

Also I"ve only been retired for 2 months and most of that time I was expecting to take another job so it just seemed like an extended vacation. I do feel like the time flies so I need to start planning some trips or events. We've done some day or overnight trips locally but nothing major. I'm also trying to hit the gym every other day and also squeeze in a few walks each walk as long as my foot doesn't flare up.

I probably do miss the work part of work. I mean the thinking and solving problems but it is all of the other stuff I don't miss. I asked an excellent manager of mine who retired a couple of years ago about how things are going. I know he seemed reluctant to retire because he enjoyed being a manager of people and dealing with people. He said it is an adjustment. His wife retired earlier partly due to having family history of earlier deaths while his family frequently made it to their 90s. So far they have been traveling a lot although that is mostly his wife's doing and not his.

I'm pretty lucky to be able to do this at this point. Most have to work until 65 or later, especially in terms of health insurance but I didn't.

Thanks for the comments and feel free to add more comments.
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TheTimeLord
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by TheTimeLord »

ThankYouJack wrote: Sat Apr 01, 2023 4:08 pm I've felt similar. One thing I watch out for is moving goal posts and the hedonic treadmill of financial milestones. $1M can feel nice, but then you want $2M. Once two is hit, you start thinking about $3M or $5M and each milestone becomes less exciting. How is that enriching one's life?

For me, I try setting a maximum on my financial goals. Anything over that is gravy and should be used frivolously
Is it fair to say that we should remind ourselves that for most of us money should be a means to and end as opposed to an end in itself? Accumulating funds is just the first step.
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by Dave55 »

AnnetteLouisan wrote: Sat Apr 01, 2023 10:19 am I reached $1M a while back and was pleased but too busy to celebrate. I reached $2M recently and thought: “that’s nice. That’s really very nice.” But now it’s on to the next one.

I got certain raises and I’m pleased.

I do exult in certain things but they are less about achievement these days and more about people.

(Anticlimactic, not anticlimatic)
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by capran »

I was always more of a goal and destination person in my working years "youth". Fortunately, in the mid 80's I got a job in Education which gave me summers off. In a sense, it showed me what retirement might be like. My biggest mistake was spending those last 26 years singularly focused on one thing: sailing. No other hobby gave me that Wow feeling. So during the first few years of retirement it had been a quest to find more of those wow things. We were doing pretty well, discovering what living in Mexico for a couple of months every winter was like, and adding some camping and road trips in the fall every year that followed our regular boating summer. And then COVID times arrived and drastically stopped anything involving air travels and have struggled a bit since then. The key is finding ways to give you activities that provide for occasional WOW moments and add richness and texture to your daily life. Hopefully your health will allow you to find those things. And if you are ever in Utah, get "The Book of WOW".
Dave55
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by Dave55 »

This is an excellent video on what happens when you get what you want and is very appropriate for recent retirees who feel a little disoriented in the gap between their career and retirement. Rick Eigenbrod is the speaker, he has been an executive coach for over 40 years and his talk is to a group of Vistage members.

https://vimeo.com/101418676

Dave
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InvestorHowie
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by InvestorHowie »

Great post.

When DW and I cleared our first major financial milestone a few years back it felt pretty great. We went for a long drive and discussed future plans now that they seemed more achievable.

Since my wife is several years my senior I hear the retirement clock ticking more loudly than most my age (late 40s). As soon as she reaches Medicare age I want to be able to leave FT employment and perhaps shift to developing my small business as a hobby and at my own pace and on my own schedule. I hope to be at 25x expenses or better by that point and feel in my heart that I'll be ready to go for it at that point. I hope to enjoy the retirement experience with her while we're both (hopefully) healthy and at least at this point that overpowers any need to move the goalposts. I hope that my current perspective remains but understand that this can be a real issue with so many.
Time is your friend; impulse is your enemy. --John C. Bogle
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by whodidntante »

I've found diminishing returns as the numbers got larger. I come from humble beginnings, and at times in my life, having or not having $500 was a game changer. Heck, $100 was a game-changer. I think this is one reason why I hunt credit card bonuses and brokerage transfer bonuses. I remember a time when I didn't have the amount of money that they are willing to pay me for that, and acquiring "so much money" was difficult. Now, these financial institutions will give me money, essentially because they have data saying that for every $X that happens, they earn $Y. Candy from a baby.

Paid off everything but my house. Meh.
Paid off my house. Meh.
Deleveraged. Meh.
Became a millionaire. Meh.
Became financially independent. Meh.

The only milestones that mattered were the major income bumps I've been able to accomplish. After I graduated college, it was game on, and I make 6x now what I did then. I have always focused on the top line. When it comes to expenses, I just try not to do anything stupid like living in an ultra HCOL area or buying new cars every three years.

Dragging a $1,200 pot in a hand of poker still excites me, though. Way more than paying off my house did. And I still love to travel. I've found I prefer low-cost countries and authentic experiences over the Four Seasons. And I'd rather eat at a busy restaurant with no English menus. So I'm kind of a cheap date. I still spring for a stay at the Bellagio or Aria et al when I go to Vegas to play, though. Even though I'd be just fine at the non-strip no-name joint. Those places are just nice in a way that's worth it.

I love to work, so I don't plan to stop. Eventually, my health will fail. But no beach for me.
MathWizard
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by MathWizard »

This is very common.

I felt the same way right after I passed my final exam for my PhD.
I felt elated, then after about 10 minutes, I thought "What now?"

I have announced my date of my retirement, and an older brother has told me to expect a drop in feeling a of importance. He had been getting calls from the governor's office at least twice a week, and one week after retirement, all such calls ended.

I know I will have such withdrawal from conversations, that at least now, I consider important.
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by theplayer11 »

I see many posts about goals of hitting $1m, $2m, ect. Monetary goals should not be listed first on anyone's "goals list"..JMHO. Maybe why so anticlimactic when reached.
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by Wannaretireearly »

Financial goals are becoming less exciting. My current goal is to get to $1M in taxable. This is a hard goal! But helps me keep motivated and a bit more interested in putting money to work in investments.

Mentally these are the things that run thru my head:
An extra 20-30k (and additional stress) isn’t going to move the needle much at all.
Time is worth more to me than money each day.

I’m more excited by future travel goals. Live in country X, Y , Z for a month at a time.
“At some point you are trading time you will never get back for money you will never spend.“ | “How do you want to spend the best remaining year of your life?“
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by doobiedoo »

$1M net worth didn't mean anything to me. $1M was a milestone, but not a goal.

$2M was a goal because that was my "number" for financial independence.
And I hit it in Mar 2000. I was ready to celebrate.

Then I did a "worst-case" analysis using returns starting with the 1973-74 bear market. I didn't like the results.
I didn't run out of money, but it was too close for comfort. So I didn't retire then. [Good thing! 2002-03 was pretty rough!]

After I hit $3M, I did retire. I had enough cushion to withstand a big, bad bear market and Sequence of Return Risk [SORR].

Retirement was [and still is] great. The disappearance of all job-related stress was invigorating.
I went to bed when I wanted and woke up when I wanted.'
I had time to do the Sunday crossword puzzle(s).
But I still had to keep a watchful eye on finances.
And like many people [as borne out by other threads on this site], I had to figure out what I wanted to do in retirement.

Somewhere after I passed $6M net worth, I noticed a relaxation in my life.
$6M wasn't a goal, and there was no life-style event tied to that number. But I noticed I had less worry in my life.

I guess I finally have retirement "figured out". I don't have to make major decisions [financial or otherwise] that affect my quality of life. My decisions on Medicare, Social Security, retirement income, etc. have all been made.
I'm satisfied with the outcomes [so far].
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by MarkRoulo »

rich126 wrote: Sat Apr 01, 2023 9:25 am Its taken me nearly 60 years to realize this but I first recall this quote from, bizarrely enough, Star Trek -
“Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey and reminds us to cherish every moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we've lived. After all Number One, we're only mortal.”
Jean-Luc Picard
And you have this famous quote that I either ignored in school or missed.
“Its the not the Destination, It's the journey.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
I've reached a few milestones over the last decade and most recently retirement. My last day of work was the end of January and I don't think it was a big deal because at the time I had several offers to take another job. The one I accepted was going to start next week but I decided to turn it down so unless something changes I am retired.

I had expected some big celebration or relief when I hit that milestone but I didn't. Just feel older but not celebratory. Most likely I have enough money to retire on, nothing extravagant but barring unusual financial occurrences we should be fine and much better than average, especially when we start collecting social security down the road.

When I first hit a savings goal like $1M I expected some big excitement but nope, nothing. Portfolio went over it, and I think quickly back under it before then it grew further.

I had a pretty good plan where I was going to move back into a nice house I had out west after kicking out the renters since it was one level but plans changed and I sold it and now pondering buying a new place. Some minor health issues have kept me from planning any fancy vacations so I don't have that to look forward to and honestly travel wears me out especially the airport/flying experience and road trips more than an hour or so I find difficult.

While I'm not a young retiree I'd imagine compared to most retirees I'm younger than average (late 50s lets say w/o too many details). I think in some ways the excitement or relief is diminished by losing my parents, most recently my father in late 2021 and also a long time friend in 2020.

While it is nice to be able to wake up in the morning and just go back to bed, or avoid driving in traffic or bad weather and avoid dealing with nonsensical business rules or people who have no interest in working, it just feels strange for now. I think once we settle into a retirement home it will be a bit different. I'm also hoping that we might take a long trip using FF miles/points to Europe and just explore w/o being stuck to a 10 day or 2 week vacation limit due to going back to work.

Anyhow, am I the rare person that feels this way upon reaching major goals?
No, you aren't rare in feeling this.

From an earlier Star Trek episode:
Spock: After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.
I have found that some things do seem to generate that excitement or "high", though pretty much ANYTHING will eventually wear off:
  • A new from-the-ground-up product I had been working on at work for five years finally shipped.
  • My child being born
  • Winning a chess tournament for the first (and only!) time
But all of these highs wear off. One formal name for some of this is "hedonic adaptation."

You aren't alone.

And this explains part of the advice to "retire TO something rather than FROM something."
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by KlangFool »

OP,

You are a lucky person. Hence, you takes a lot of things for granted. It was "meh" for you.

A) I hit 1 million milestone. Then, I was unemployed for more than 1 years. My son started college. My daughter started college the following years. And, we were hit with 4 eye surgeries.

B) I hit 1.5 million milestone (my FI number) with my severance pay. Then, I was unemployed for more than 1 years. Of course, 2 more eye surgeries.

In both cases, my portfolio keeps me "Sleep Well At Night" (SWAN) while being unemployed. It was very meaningful to me.

C) I faced quarterly 5% to 8% laid off over 5 1/2 years during Telecom Bust. By the time that I was laid of, 80% of the employees were gone. I could "Sleep Well At Night" (SWAN) because of my portfolio.

You cannot enjoy the high if you have never faced the low.

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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by Boatguy »

rocket354 wrote: Sat Apr 01, 2023 10:31 am You are not alone. I am very similar, although not as of yet retired.

I think everything you describe is just another aspect of hedonistic adaptation. When a goal is far off then it is an exciting and exotic concept that is so compelling in part because it is so out of reach and so different from the "everyday normal." Whether it's having $1 million saved, or retiring, or getting into a certain college, or getting a certain job, when the goal is first conceived it can start to, undeservedly, feel like "if only I can achieve this, then I'll have it made!"

But most things worth accomplishing take work. Outside of lottery winners (and I guess, for some, RSU vesting), you don't get a million dollars overnight You get to a million by getting to $950,000 first, and before that, $900,000, and before that, $850,000, etc, etc. Did you feel any lasting excitement when you reached $60,000 after having been at $50,000? Probably nothing more than a momentary "hey, look at that," if you even noticed it at all. And like so, we all adapt along the way, so by the time $1,000,000 came around, you'd already adapted to $950,000 and so that additional step was just that--one single step that wasn't any sort of paradigm-shifting accomplishment that having $1 million seemed like it would be when you had nothing but $500 in your account.

Likewise, by the time you've worked at your craft and learned the ropes of business and interviewing and climbed the corporate ladder, then what was once your "out of reach dream job" is just one single step above what you've previously accomplished and accorded as much excitement as such deserves. A dinner out, maybe?

Kids get Christmas (or cultural equivalents) where one day they don't have the Playstation and the next day they do. But even after a week or two, hedonistic adaptation takes over and that Playstation is the new normal for them. But they do get to experience for a day, or an hour, what have you, pure bliss as their entire world has changed. Adults don't get that feeling much if at all. Because every accomplishment is just one more small step in a long path, one of many long paths we are all on (jobs, finances, relationships, health, social status, etc), and so that tally mark just gets lost in the blizzard of tally marks we are all continually drawing every day.
Well said.
doobiedoo
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by doobiedoo »

Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.
--Dale Carnegie

https://davidbbohl.com/success-is-getti ... t-you-get/
Cruise
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by Cruise »

OP, perhaps you are feeling blah because you are not retiring "to something?"

Did you have a set of goals you wanted to pursue upon retirement?

Did you have a diverse set of goals (e.g., sport, study, travel, relationships)? Have you embarked on these pursuits?

Did you actually plan a celebration for yourself upon retirement (e.g., the week after her retirement, took wife to a resort an hour away and we had a load of fun celebrating her new status, and some friends came to visit us there).

Hope you can get a sense of excitement in your life.
Parkinglotracer
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by Parkinglotracer »

Practice gratitude in some form - lots of books out there about how to do that. Give to others. Set some goals in retirement. Share your victories. Good luck.
cs412a
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by cs412a »

Well, my life goals didn’t involve money, and - no offense - but the comments on this thread leave me feeling pretty good about that.

However, when I was working, my work was so interesting to me and I was so absorbed in it that I see now that I burned the candle at both ends and really neglected my health.

The first few years of my retirement were frustrating because I wasn’t physically capable of doing much. It got to the point that my doctor thought I might be suffering from congestive heart failure. Fortunately, I had a different medical issue, which - while serious and debilitating - has pretty much completely resolved with treatment.

So for the past few years, it’s been exciting to regain strength and mobility, and start engaging in outdoor activities again. I feel like I’m in much better shape now than I was in my 50s and early 60s, and I want to take advantage of my current good health for as long as it lasts. I’d like to be able to be like other women in my family and remain active for another 15 years or so, but I’ll just have to see how things pan out. Nothing’s guaranteed.

I feel good about what I accomplished during my working years. I worked with some amazing people, did some solid research, had a positive impact on my students, and have few regrets and many happy memories. So at this point, I don’t feel I have anything to prove to myself and my mission is simply to enjoy myself.

A few of the things I have lined up for this year: getting back into star gazing over the summer, volunteering for the annual local art fair, and becoming certified as a master naturalist (I’ll be starting from the ground up, but I’ve been assured it’s doable, so I’ll give it a shot).
1moreyr
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by 1moreyr »

In retirement, the journey is the destination. We all know what the final destination is at that point.

OP build a good journey. you have earned it and it's time to retire to something if you haven't already.

My wife and I spent the first year in travel, fixing up the house and spending time with aging parents. I was offered a 3 month short term gig over the winter (which turned into 8 months).

I love work but i found it to be a struggle and the adjustment hard. Not because the work was hard, but because I know what's on the other side. As many has said wanting can be better than having. this short term work reminded me of why I retired in the first place.

if health is impacting travel, can you do short travel? day trips? a walk in the park, a rental on the lake? whatever it takes to remind you of why this time is valuable
CloseEnough
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by CloseEnough »

rich126 wrote: Sat Apr 01, 2023 9:25 am
“Its the not the Destination, It's the journey.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
While I'm not a young retiree I'd imagine compared to most retirees I'm younger than average (late 50s lets say w/o too many details). I think in some ways the excitement or relief is diminished by losing my parents, most recently my father in late 2021 and also a long time friend in 2020.

Anyhow, am I the rare person that feels this way upon reaching major goals?
OP: sorry for your loss of your parents and close friend. I wonder if the impact of these losses has either consciously or subconsciously made you aware that financial goals, goals around retirement are at a lower level as compared to other things in life that matter. That could lead you to have some of the reaction to reaching goals around those areas.

For me, I never really set specific goals around career, finance, retirement. That, combined with working in a few organizations that had very little to no culture of celebrating achievement and goals, have led me to similar feelings when reaching life goals. And it may be the journey that matters more than the destination, as I've aged I tend to realize. Especially when you consider what the ultimate destination we all reach will be. Stick with the journey.

I don't see it as a problem if reaching goals is anticlimactic. You just build it into your life philosophy. To me, having a huge celebration at reaching financial milestones would be odd. Unlike some here, though, I attribute much that happens in life and finances due to luck. So, guess you could celebrate your good luck. I just appreciate it, am grateful. Should I say "good luck". Not sure about that!
smitcat
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimatic?

Post by smitcat »

TheTimeLord wrote: Sat Apr 01, 2023 5:03 pm
ThankYouJack wrote: Sat Apr 01, 2023 4:08 pm I've felt similar. One thing I watch out for is moving goal posts and the hedonic treadmill of financial milestones. $1M can feel nice, but then you want $2M. Once two is hit, you start thinking about $3M or $5M and each milestone becomes less exciting. How is that enriching one's life?

For me, I try setting a maximum on my financial goals. Anything over that is gravy and should be used frivolously
Is it fair to say that we should remind ourselves that for most of us money should be a means to and end as opposed to an end in itself? Accumulating funds is just the first step.
Absolutely true - just a first step not the goal.
toocold
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by toocold »

Beyond personal goals (eg. marriage, having kids), there were many financial goals where I felt a sense of immense joy, including getting into schools I wanted to attend, getting jobs that accelerated my career, and paying off my student loans and mortgages, and getting promoted. All these didn't last very long.

On wealth accumulation, it's been somewhat anti-climatic. After hitting FI, we had a nice dinner. When I retired early in my 40s, we had a nice dinner.

The rest of the joy comes from spending time with kids and family, traveling, and having fun in life, and journey definitely is the fun.
backpacker61
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by backpacker61 »

This is an interesting thread.

It reminds me somewhat of a concept among backpackers known as "post trail depression" (which I experienced and is a real thing).

https://appalachiantrail.org/official-b ... t-over-it/
“Now shall I walk or shall I ride? | 'Ride,' Pleasure said; | 'Walk,' Joy replied.” | | ― W.H. Davies
pennywise
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by pennywise »

Aside from the numbers goals, for me there is a much deeper issue which is the difference between the joy of reaching a goal and the happiness that goal achievement will bring.

I vividly recall thinking that if my spouse and I each made a six-figure income it would mean we had Made It financially. And when we got there nothing really changed in our day to day lives.

Then it was when our net worth broke the $1M mark it would be fireworks and Las Vegas jackpot time. Yep got there and nothing really changed in our day to day lives.

And finally we were FI and could retire with resources and on an income that was comfortable for the foreseeable future. Right, same result.

But as we settled into retirement I've come to feel what matters most isn't the joy of meeting certain goals. What really matters is the resulting HAPPINESS of having freedom and agency because we met them.

What a gift to get up every day knowing we have control of our lives: we can pay our bills and help our families financially as we choose, indulge ourselves in hobbies or treats and hopefully leave some legacy funds to those we love after we are gone. Not a moment of gosh golly wow excitement, just a quiet sense of contentment for the gift of what meeting all those goals has brought us.

I compare it to one's wedding day v. a long happy marriage. I've always thought it a bit sad to hear folks say the day they got married was the happiest day of their lives. That one day was certainly a life goal achievement and for sure a peak joyous moment, but it absolutely doesn't compare to the deep happiness of the life we have built together after that goal was checked off our life list.
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rich126
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by rich126 »

Aging didn't bother me until I got into my 50s and then it hit me. Partly due to losing family and friends and partly just realizing you've lived most of your life and can't go back and change things. Growing up I was much closer to my mother than my father because she was a stay at home mom and did everything for her kids but my father's death hit much harder. I think it was because my mother had passed away a 12 years earlier and I had a lot more time to spend with my father. Also my mom had a long term illness that was basically a 10 year path to death. My father seemed to come more sudden. I also think it is because once you lose both parents you have no direct connection to your childhood any longer. As long as one parent was alive I still had my childhood (at least it seemed that way).

Financially I'm not like many here but my needs tend to be low. No interest in luxury cars just a house in a nice area and being able to eat out. Fortunately my wife grew up w/o money but in a very close family so she isn't materialistic at all.

I think I'm not one to get excited over successes but more likely to quickly get upset when things go badly. I've known people who always had to write down goals or even 10 things they felt they had to do every weekend. That has never been mine. I was more like finish school, finish college in 4 years and be able to be independent financially from the family which was accomplished.

I've mentioned elsewhere here that I tried to live my life in a way that I did things when I was younger. Sure I regret a lot of things I didn't do but at least I did a ton of vacations involving skiing when I was younger and then more trips to Europe as I got older and really have no bucket list. Sure it would be nice to travel to Italy or Germany, etc. but it isn't imperative.

Am I doing anything in retirement? So far, nope. I think dealing with various minor (hopefully) medical issues and trying to figure out my retirement home location have been a bit annoying/stressful. I had a perfect plan at 50 but then family medical issue caused me to sell my retirement home so I could be closer to them (zero regrets) and I ended up moving changing jobs 3 times and moving cross country 2 (and soon to be a 3rd time) within 30 months. That just drains you a bit as you get older and have to deal with a parent dying.

Thanks for the comments and I always welcome suggestions even if they aren't things I would do.
----------------------------- | If you think something is important and it doesn't involve the health of someone, think again. Life goes too fast, enjoy it and be nice.
secondopinion
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by secondopinion »

That is why the journey towards these goals needs to be meaningful. If one completed a college degree just for the paper given to prove the completion of education, they would be discounting all the education acquired. It is the learning that matters.

I would be almost as happy with $900k as with $1m. It is the money, not the number, that matters.
Passive investing: not about making big bucks but making profits. Active investing: not about beating the market but meeting goals. Speculation: not about timing the market but taking profitable risks.
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Midpack
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by Midpack »

Great post, I can identify with much of the OPs thoughts.

While I never felt "celebratory" at meeting financial goals, it certainly gave me a strong sense of inner satisfaction, and less to worry about the further along we got. Gives some measure of inner confidence?

The OP hasn't been retired long enough to make judgements IMO. Retirement years are not a monolith, just as career years aren't, and life in general. We are all different, and most of us evolve as kids, adults, retired seniors, etc. Thank goodness, who wants to stand still?

While some people absolutely love being retired, some suffer boredom and depression - fortunately most of us will far somewhere in the middle, hopefully nearer the former. People who don't have a life beyond work (nothing wrong with that necessarily), may have trouble without the structure and co-worker associations. Some people have rich full lives outside work, and drift into retirement easily. Again, most of us are probably somewhere in between - I missed some of my former co-workers and the many challenges my career presented, but I do NOT miss some of the pompous C-level "suits" (I was a mid-suit), the politics, or the repetitive deadline tasks. I digress.

Just as life and career is what you make of it, retirement is no different - why would it be?

The only caveat I would offer - do NOT take your health and physical condition for granted. IMO you cannot have an enjoyable retirement once your health makes everything harder. We all go downhill with age, and staying active is absolutely key to physical and social happiness IME.
You only live once...
TacoLover
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Re: Reaching Goals, Anticlimactic?

Post by TacoLover »

Hedonic adaptation as mentioned.

I work as a physician. It had been my dream for years. I remember the day I was accepted to my dream medical school. I opened the letter. I was accepted. I thought "huh. This is it?" I worked so long for that letter, when it came it turned out to be nothing. It was just the next step. I suspect for everyone - and I believe happiness books support this - setting goals is important to reach your goals but happiness does not come from reaching goals, whether it's getting married, getting a new car, a promotion, making a big charitable donation, or into your dream medical school. Happiness comes from enjoying the moment. I was fortunate in realizing early that accomplishing goals brings very little happiness. Being the person who accomplishes his goals is another matter, but simply setting a goal brings little happiness when you reach it.

Happiness comes from enjoying the trip and becoming the person you want to be. Experimenting, failing, picking yourself up, and succeeding.

As others mentioned in many posts, retirement from is torture. A prison. Only retirement TO is worth doing. Who do you want to be? What do you want out of life? What kind of life do you want to live?
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