How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

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Mel Lindauer
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by Mel Lindauer »

Great topic. For me, retiring was easy. I owned the business and simply turned it over to my two sons at the age of 59 after 30 years at the helm.

One of the things that's often overlooked when it comes to retirement, though, is switching from savings mode to spending mode. For many, that can really be scary.

Years ago, my Forbes editor was approaching retirement age, and knowing that I was already retired, she asked me if it was difficult to go from a lifetime of saving to suddenly spending down what you've accumulated over that lifetime of saving. I told her that it had been difficult for me to mentally switch gears and I suspected that it might be the same for many others.

So I related my own experience and asked other forum members to share their thoughts on this subject, and ended up doing a three-part series for Forbes on this subject. You might recognize some of the forum members' who shared their thoughts for the story.

Here are links to those old columns for anyone who's interested.

Switching Gears at Retirement: Going from Savings to Spending Mode Part 1
https://www.forbes.com/sites/theboglehe ... 7be0d7adc3

Switching Gears at Retirement: Going from Savings to Spending Mode Part 2
https://www.forbes.com/sites/theboglehe ... 7ebcc72f1f

Switching Gears at Retirement: Going from Savings to Spending Mode Part 3
https://www.forbes.com/sites/theboglehe ... f649f1675b
Best Regards - Mel | | Semper Fi
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by jabberwockOG »

Retired 4.5 years now. After spending 38 years building a successful but stressful career and achieving FI level wealth, I retired at 60. Only regret is not doing so earlier. In a word for me retirement is primarily about freedom. It is an absolute joy to do exactly what I want to do each week, exactly when I choose to do it. We stay very active, and these have been some of the best years of my adult life so far, at least until corona pandemic which has dampened fun activities level quite a bit but we are learning to cope and make the best of it.
vested1
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by vested1 »

I've been retired 4.5 years and have never regretted a second of it. I had initially retired from megacorp due to reaching their lump sum retirement threshold after 31 years. Leaving that job was difficult because of mutual respect, and the fact that I was at the top of my game. I continued working for another 7 years, starting immediately, having been enticed away by an unscrupulous business owner to leave megacorp. I lasted 1 year with him before being lured away by another firm, which in turn failed to fulfill their promises. A third firm offered to double my pay, making it an easy decision to leave. The money was fine, but since I value my own integrity, seeing a lack of it in all three of my new employers was disheartening.

The final straw was the promise that I could work from home (design engineer) 3 days a week with no weekends required. That was a lie of course, with 5,000 miles a month of commuting and 6 or 7 days a week working because of invented emergencies. I lasted 4 months before walking out the door, giving 1 hours notice. They begged me to stay but I never looked back. That job increased my pay so much I was able to retire 8 months earlier than I had planned having met my latest financial goal. I had told them prior to signing on that I would work for them for a year, but that if they broke any of their promises I would quit. Apparently they didn't believe me.

IMHO the ability to shut it all off after work while employed is key to transitioning to retirement. When you can engage in other pursuits prior to retirement there is less of a hole to fall into when you finally get there. In that vein I've never really understood the fear of boredom that compels some to avoid retirement, or which drives them back to work. Self fulfillment is a personal responsibility. It can be achieved outside of work.
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fsrph
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by fsrph »

fsrph wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 12:41 pm Assume you have enough money to retire with a very conservative asset allocation. Is it normal to have conflicting thoughts? Second guessing yourself. Maybe about how much money you are leaving on the table. Feelings of separation and loss. Can anyone relate to this?

Francis
I'm the OP and I'm reviving this topic to share my account of how it felt when I recently gave notice. A little about me, I'll be 63 in a few more months and financially I'm doing great. I could easily afford to retire.

When I finally handed in my resignation I felt terrible. Had feelings of profound loss and was even crying for a while. I don't know why I reacted this way, isn't retirement something we save for and should be happy when we attain that goal. It's getting slowly better to come to terms with my decision, but I'm nowhere near being happy about it.

Francis
"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." | Dale Carnegie
Normchad
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by Normchad »

fsrph wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 5:04 pm
fsrph wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 12:41 pm Assume you have enough money to retire with a very conservative asset allocation. Is it normal to have conflicting thoughts? Second guessing yourself. Maybe about how much money you are leaving on the table. Feelings of separation and loss. Can anyone relate to this?

Francis
I'm the OP and I'm reviving this topic to share my account of how it felt when I recently gave notice. A little about me, I'll be 63 in a few more months and financially I'm doing great. I could easily afford to retire.

When I finally handed in my resignation I felt terrible. Had feelings of profound loss and was even crying for a while. I don't know why I reacted this way, isn't retirement something we save for and should be happy when we attain that goal. It's getting slowly better to come to terms with my decision, but I'm nowhere near being happy about it.

Francis
Congratulations Francis! You deserve this.

I will probably react similarly to you when my time comes. I’m looking forward to retiring. It’s time for me to go. But when it happens, I expect I will simultaneously have strong emotions of relief, of joy, of loss, and of uncertainty. And I think nobody of can handle all those conflicting emotions all at once. So we might break down and cry until our brains can sort it all out.

I think it’s just confusing and bewildering…. I’ve had this happen when close loved ones finally passed away from a long illness. Feeling relieved but sad at the same time. A very jarring juxtaposition.
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by FrugalInvestor »

fsrph wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 5:04 pm
fsrph wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 12:41 pm Assume you have enough money to retire with a very conservative asset allocation. Is it normal to have conflicting thoughts? Second guessing yourself. Maybe about how much money you are leaving on the table. Feelings of separation and loss. Can anyone relate to this?

Francis
I'm the OP and I'm reviving this topic to share my account of how it felt when I recently gave notice. A little about me, I'll be 63 in a few more months and financially I'm doing great. I could easily afford to retire.

When I finally handed in my resignation I felt terrible. Had feelings of profound loss and was even crying for a while. I don't know why I reacted this way, isn't retirement something we save for and should be happy when we attain that goal. It's getting slowly better to come to terms with my decision, but I'm nowhere near being happy about it.

Francis
Are there things that during your working years you would have liked to have more time or mental energy to do or try? Have you ever desired to be in better physical condition but not had the time or energy to devote to making that happen? Are there hobbies that you haven't been able to devote time or enough time to....or maybe never even had the time to try out?

Your time will be all yours once retired and the new opportunities and possibilities for experiences will be unlimited! I would encourage you to look forward and begin planning for a new phase of your life that can prove to be the best ever. Like most things though, the better you plan the better it is likely to be.

I wish you the very best.
Have a plan, stay the course and simplify. Then ignore the noise!
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fsrph
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by fsrph »

Normchad wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 5:11 pm
fsrph wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 5:04 pm
fsrph wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 12:41 pm Assume you have enough money to retire with a very conservative asset allocation. Is it normal to have conflicting thoughts? Second guessing yourself. Maybe about how much money you are leaving on the table. Feelings of separation and loss. Can anyone relate to this?

Francis
I'm the OP and I'm reviving this topic to share my account of how it felt when I recently gave notice. A little about me, I'll be 63 in a few more months and financially I'm doing great. I could easily afford to retire.

When I finally handed in my resignation I felt terrible. Had feelings of profound loss and was even crying for a while. I don't know why I reacted this way, isn't retirement something we save for and should be happy when we attain that goal. It's getting slowly better to come to terms with my decision, but I'm nowhere near being happy about it.

Francis
Congratulations Francis! You deserve this.

I will probably react similarly to you when my time comes. I’m looking forward to retiring. It’s time for me to go. But when it happens, I expect I will simultaneously have strong emotions of relief, of joy, of loss, and of uncertainty. And I think nobody of can handle all those conflicting emotions all at once. So we might break down and cry until our brains can sort it all out.

I think it’s just confusing and bewildering…. I’ve had this happen when close loved ones finally passed away from a long illness. Feeling relieved but sad at the same time. A very jarring juxtaposition.
Thank you Normchad. Your perspective makes a lot of sense.
"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." | Dale Carnegie
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fsrph
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by fsrph »

FrugalInvestor wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 6:06 pm
fsrph wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 5:04 pm
fsrph wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 12:41 pm Assume you have enough money to retire with a very conservative asset allocation. Is it normal to have conflicting thoughts? Second guessing yourself. Maybe about how much money you are leaving on the table. Feelings of separation and loss. Can anyone relate to this?

Francis
I'm the OP and I'm reviving this topic to share my account of how it felt when I recently gave notice. A little about me, I'll be 63 in a few more months and financially I'm doing great. I could easily afford to retire.

When I finally handed in my resignation I felt terrible. Had feelings of profound loss and was even crying for a while. I don't know why I reacted this way, isn't retirement something we save for and should be happy when we attain that goal. It's getting slowly better to come to terms with my decision, but I'm nowhere near being happy about it.

Francis
Are there things that during your working years you would have liked to have more time or mental energy to do or try? Have you ever desired to be in better physical condition but not had the time or energy to devote to making that happen? Are there hobbies that you haven't been able to devote time or enough time to....or maybe never even had the time to try out?

Your time will be all yours once retired and the new opportunities and possibilities for experiences will be unlimited! I would encourage you to look forward and begin planning for a new phase of your life that can prove to be the best ever. Like most things though, the better you plan the better it is likely to be.

I wish you the very best.
Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately my opportunities and possibilities for experiences will not be unlimited. I can still get around but my hip has limited range of motion so some activities are out. Medical advice is prohibited here so plz no advice on my hip.

Francis
Last edited by fsrph on Sun Jun 26, 2022 6:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." | Dale Carnegie
GoldenFinch
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by GoldenFinch »

I pulled my car to the side of the road and cried.
AlwaysLearningMore
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by AlwaysLearningMore »

vested1 wrote: Mon May 18, 2020 5:08 am IMHO the ability to shut it all off after work while employed is key to transitioning to retirement.
That is an admirable skill. Wish I had it.
Retirement is best when you have a lot to live on, and a lot to live for. * None of what I post is investment advice.* | FIRE'd July 2023
marielake
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by marielake »

I officially retired at 65 and then worked another 2 years on a per diem basis. Had alot of freedom in those 2 years, but was bored and didn't want to do the work anymore (was working remotely) at 67. Money was nice, but didn't need it. That was about 3 years ago. Today, I miss the structure, the extra money would be nice as would something to fill my time, but....do I really want to be doing that work again? No.
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by Dottie57 »

Dottie57 wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 1:48 pm I was glad to be done with the megacorp and it’s workings. Sad that I was no longer going to see my team mates on a daily basis. Exhausted because I was ill and didn’t know it.

Glad I retired but it has been a really hard transition.

Plan your retirement and don’t let it just happen to you.
Update: Feeling better these days. New home. Old home being fixed up and put up for sale in July. Contacted a few former co-workers. Unfortunately I found out a former co-worker died from heart attack. As an introvert I find making friends hard, but I have made a few in my condo building.

Enjoying life.


Sometimes it takes some time to adjust. I am very happy to not be working.
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by bradinsky »

fsrph wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 6:41 pm
FrugalInvestor wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 6:06 pm
fsrph wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 5:04 pm
fsrph wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 12:41 pm Assume you have enough money to retire with a very conservative asset allocation. Is it normal to have conflicting thoughts? Second guessing yourself. Maybe about how much money you are leaving on the table. Feelings of separation and loss. Can anyone relate to this?

Francis
I'm the OP and I'm reviving this topic to share my account of how it felt when I recently gave notice. A little about me, I'll be 63 in a few more months and financially I'm doing great. I could easily afford to retire.

When I finally handed in my resignation I felt terrible. Had feelings of profound loss and was even crying for a while. I don't know why I reacted this way, isn't retirement something we save for and should be happy when we attain that goal. It's getting slowly better to come to terms with my decision, but I'm nowhere near being happy about it.

Francis
Are there things that during your working years you would have liked to have more time or mental energy to do or try? Have you ever desired to be in better physical condition but not had the time or energy to devote to making that happen? Are there hobbies that you haven't been able to devote time or enough time to....or maybe never even had the time to try out?

Your time will be all yours once retired and the new opportunities and possibilities for experiences will be unlimited! I would encourage you to look forward and begin planning for a new phase of your life that can prove to be the best ever. Like most things though, the better you plan the better it is likely to be.

I wish you the very best.
Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately my opportunities and possibilities for experiences will not be unlimited. I can still get around but my hip has limited range of motion so some activities are out. Medical advice is prohibited here so plz no advice on my hip.

Francis
+1 Hips, knees & backs tend to put a damper on some/many things
Normchad
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by Normchad »

Dottie57 wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 7:31 pm
Dottie57 wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 1:48 pm I was glad to be done with the megacorp and it’s workings. Sad that I was no longer going to see my team mates on a daily basis. Exhausted because I was ill and didn’t know it.

Glad I retired but it has been a really hard transition.

Plan your retirement and don’t let it just happen to you.
Update: Feeling better these days. New home. Old home being fixed up and put up for sale in July. Contacted a few former co-workers. Unfortunately I found out a former co-worker died from heart attack. As an introvert I find making friends hard, but I have made a few in my condo building.

Enjoying life.


Sometimes it takes some time to adjust. I am very happy to not be working.
Dottie, I’ll be your friend. It looks like we live in the same hemisphere.

Congrats on your retirement, and in feeling better. Is your improved health due to the retirement? (Please say yes).
MGBMartin
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by MGBMartin »

My father died a few months before his retirement and my 2 elder brothers died at 50 and 54.
I knew I would retire early but those losses hastened my plans
When I reached 60 I thought about my father and brothers and even though I was healthy I thought it’s time as I did not know what might happen.
I was apprehensive especially as the mrs retired at the same time but we were financially OK. I enjoyed my work and those I worked with especially a team of 25 I managed in China.
One of my team members told me ‘this news is like an earthquake to me’ when I told the team of my retirement plans and another wrote and sang a goodbye song for me.

Retirement has been good, I miss working with my boss and colleagues.
Covid kind of messed with some of our plans but the mrs and I feel very fortunate.
Bad spellers of the world untie | Autocorrect is my worst enema
Dottie57
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by Dottie57 »

Normchad wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 8:12 pm
Dottie57 wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 7:31 pm
Dottie57 wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 1:48 pm I was glad to be done with the megacorp and it’s workings. Sad that I was no longer going to see my team mates on a daily basis. Exhausted because I was ill and didn’t know it.

Glad I retired but it has been a really hard transition.

Plan your retirement and don’t let it just happen to you.
Update: Feeling better these days. New home. Old home being fixed up and put up for sale in July. Contacted a few former co-workers. Unfortunately I found out a former co-worker died from heart attack. As an introvert I find making friends hard, but I have made a few in my condo building.

Enjoying life.


Sometimes it takes some time to adjust. I am very happy to not be working.
Dottie, I’ll be your friend. It looks like we live in the same hemisphere.

Congrats on your retirement, and in feeling better. Is your improved health due to the retirement? (Please say yes).
My health is better due to better eating, less carbs, and more protein. Also ulcer resolved, partially die to retirement. I’ve really started to enjoy my days now.

Thanks friend!
kcannon1
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by kcannon1 »

I felt great about it, as it had been decades of delayed gratification and planning put into it. Retired early, and other than a touch of sadness in regards to the laughs with co-workers going away I don't miss anything else at all. When I do think of former co-workers it's usually along the lines of "wow, it's 100 degrees over in Houston today, can't be much fun. I think I'll take the dogs to the park"
Luke Duke
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by Luke Duke »

MGBMartin wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 8:31 pm My father died a few months before his retirement and my 2 elder brothers died at 50 and 54.
I knew I would retire early but those losses hastened my plans
When I reached 60 I thought about my father and brothers and even though I was healthy I thought it’s time as I did not know what might happen.
I was apprehensive especially as the mrs retired at the same time but we were financially OK. I enjoyed my work and those I worked with especially a team of 25 I managed in China.
One of my team members told me ‘this news is like an earthquake to me’ when I told the team of my retirement plans and another wrote and sang a goodbye song for me.

Retirement has been good, I miss working with my boss and colleagues.
Covid kind of messed with some of our plans but the mrs and I feel very fortunate.
Sounds like you were an exceptional boss. Not everyone is fortunate to have one of those in their career. Congratulations!
Epont
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retirement blues

Post by Epont »

I worked since I was 16 without collecting any unemployment money and retired at 62 when Uncle Sam started sending me a monthly SS check. I always knew that my life was worth more than the money I earned so I had no problem leaving the work world. I have been retired 22 years now and am really alive !
MGBMartin
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by MGBMartin »

Luke Duke wrote: Mon Jun 27, 2022 12:21 pm
MGBMartin wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 8:31 pm My father died a few months before his retirement and my 2 elder brothers died at 50 and 54.
I knew I would retire early but those losses hastened my plans
When I reached 60 I thought about my father and brothers and even though I was healthy I thought it’s time as I did not know what might happen.
I was apprehensive especially as the mrs retired at the same time but we were financially OK. I enjoyed my work and those I worked with especially a team of 25 I managed in China.
One of my team members told me ‘this news is like an earthquake to me’ when I told the team of my retirement plans and another wrote and sang a goodbye song for me.

Retirement has been good, I miss working with my boss and colleagues.
Covid kind of messed with some of our plans but the mrs and I feel very fortunate.
Sounds like you were an exceptional boss. Not everyone is fortunate to have one of those in their career. Congratulations!
Thanks.
I wouldn’t say exceptional but I tried to be as good as I could.
Bad spellers of the world untie | Autocorrect is my worst enema
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K72
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by K72 »

Felt pretty good actually. I was vague about timing and just said I was going to be gone before my 65th birthday, which was almost a year away. I asked to be put at the top of the list for layoffs but was told there was no list. By the end of the year it was clear there would be no layoffs, so the next logical time was after the 1st quarter (to get full semi-annual bonus), so I somewhat arbitrarily picked the middle of May. The last few months were the most enjoyable I'd ever had.

After I retired, I was disheartened for a while because two different previous managers guaranteed me they would have me back for consulting gigs, but that never happened. The realization that you aren't indispensable was a bit of a blow. Still glad I did it though. Been 3+ years now.

As an interesting aside, at 45 I'd made a goal of retiring by 55 but a reality check when I reached that age made it clear that retirement wasn't yet feasible. With one kid in high school and another in middle school it was clear I'd have to wait until the kids were out of college. The last tuition payment was made a few months before I retired.
All we want are the facts...
JayB
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by JayB »

I retired at 58 after a 25 year college teaching/research career. Before that, I was a computer programmer and business consultant. Spouse retired in the same year in her early 50's.

Giving notice to retire from teaching was just great! I had wanted to retire years earlier because I was burnt out and could have afforded it, but I kept going until 25 years of service so that I could be covered by a very generous retiree health care package for myself and spouse. I finally felt liberated and freed to pursue new hobbies and interests. I did pursue those for a while, but have since moved on from the initial set.

Financially, I had established that I had plenty of $ to retire based on projections in a very elaborate Excel spreadsheet that I developed over the previous decade or so. I had checked and double checked the calculations and projections with several savvy financial advisors just to be sure I wasn't missing something. Nevertheless, for the first couple of years after retirement, I spent a lot of time poring over numbers, revising projections, and trying to reassure myself that we really had enough to live comfortably on. One of the things that helped most is that despite planning on spending significantly more $ each year in retirement (e.g., to travel) than during our working years, we really were content to keep our discretionary spending about level after we got the travel bug out of our systems.
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by BarbBrooklyn »

fsrph wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 6:41 pm
FrugalInvestor wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 6:06 pm
fsrph wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 5:04 pm
fsrph wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 12:41 pm Assume you have enough money to retire with a very conservative asset allocation. Is it normal to have conflicting thoughts? Second guessing yourself. Maybe about how much money you are leaving on the table. Feelings of separation and loss. Can anyone relate to this?

Francis
I'm the OP and I'm reviving this topic to share my account of how it felt when I recently gave notice. A little about me, I'll be 63 in a few more months and financially I'm doing great. I could easily afford to retire.

When I finally handed in my resignation I felt terrible. Had feelings of profound loss and was even crying for a while. I don't know why I reacted this way, isn't retirement something we save for and should be happy when we attain that goal. It's getting slowly better to come to terms with my decision, but I'm nowhere near being happy about it.

Francis
Are there things that during your working years you would have liked to have more time or mental energy to do or try? Have you ever desired to be in better physical condition but not had the time or energy to devote to making that happen? Are there hobbies that you haven't been able to devote time or enough time to....or maybe never even had the time to try out?

Your time will be all yours once retired and the new opportunities and possibilities for experiences will be unlimited! I would encourage you to look forward and begin planning for a new phase of your life that can prove to be the best ever. Like most things though, the better you plan the better it is likely to be.

I wish you the very best.
Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately my opportunities and possibilities for experiences will not be unlimited. I can still get around but my hip has limited range of motion so some activities are out. Medical advice is prohibited here so plz no advice on my hip.

Francis
Francis, congratulations on your retirement!!

Has the situation regarding your dad needing a lot of help resolved? I seem to recall that was one reason you were hesitant about giving up your work committment--because others might presume upon your time.

We take cruises so that the kids don't get too used to us being available at the drop of a hat.
BarbBrooklyn | "The enemy of a good plan is the dream of a perfect plan."
fposte
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by fposte »

I'm always a little nervous about big moves, especially irrevocable big moves, so it definitely felt weird doing the official notification. But since I'm an academic and that official notification was nearly a year in advance there was plenty of bureaucracy to make me happy to depart in the interim.
Barkingsparrow
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by Barkingsparrow »

AlwaysLearningMore wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 7:12 pm
vested1 wrote: Mon May 18, 2020 5:08 am IMHO the ability to shut it all off after work while employed is key to transitioning to retirement.
That is an admirable skill. Wish I had it.
I think this skill is much easier to achieve these days with full-time remote and zoom meetings. Doing this for over a year now and it seems that the job has been relegated to some abstract thing that is just part of my daily routine. Shut down at the same time every day, put the work mobile away, and I'm done. I'll have to replace that routine to some extent, but I don't think it will be as much of a big deal as if I was still going into the office. I've only met co-workers in person twice in 18 months. Where I used to chat with them daily - now I rarely chat with them online.
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fsrph
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by fsrph »

BarbBrooklyn wrote: Mon Jun 27, 2022 3:49 pm
fsrph wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 6:41 pm
FrugalInvestor wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 6:06 pm
fsrph wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 5:04 pm
fsrph wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 12:41 pm Assume you have enough money to retire with a very conservative asset allocation. Is it normal to have conflicting thoughts? Second guessing yourself. Maybe about how much money you are leaving on the table. Feelings of separation and loss. Can anyone relate to this?

Francis
I'm the OP and I'm reviving this topic to share my account of how it felt when I recently gave notice. A little about me, I'll be 63 in a few more months and financially I'm doing great. I could easily afford to retire.

When I finally handed in my resignation I felt terrible. Had feelings of profound loss and was even crying for a while. I don't know why I reacted this way, isn't retirement something we save for and should be happy when we attain that goal. It's getting slowly better to come to terms with my decision, but I'm nowhere near being happy about it.

Francis
Are there things that during your working years you would have liked to have more time or mental energy to do or try? Have you ever desired to be in better physical condition but not had the time or energy to devote to making that happen? Are there hobbies that you haven't been able to devote time or enough time to....or maybe never even had the time to try out?

Your time will be all yours once retired and the new opportunities and possibilities for experiences will be unlimited! I would encourage you to look forward and begin planning for a new phase of your life that can prove to be the best ever. Like most things though, the better you plan the better it is likely to be.

I wish you the very best.
Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately my opportunities and possibilities for experiences will not be unlimited. I can still get around but my hip has limited range of motion so some activities are out. Medical advice is prohibited here so plz no advice on my hip.

Francis
Francis, congratulations on your retirement!!

Has the situation regarding your dad needing a lot of help resolved? I seem to recall that was one reason you were hesitant about giving up your work committment--because others might presume upon your time.

We take cruises so that the kids don't get too used to us being available at the drop of a hat.
Hi Barb, my father has improved and doesn't need full nursing home care anymore. The next step was the home vs assisted living decision. It was decided assisted living would be best. Dad toured the AL facility and was OK with it. We're waiting for a few loose ends to resolve and he'll be in the AL facility soon.

Francis
"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." | Dale Carnegie
nyone
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by nyone »

OP,

I retired beginning of May from a possibly similar work environment. I had been stepping back for > 6 months from extra work activities and teaching, as well as finally using my vacation pay. The stepping back and taking time off every month helped me to prepare for life without going to work. I knew I was ready because I wanted to be able to enjoy retirement before I wasn’t able to be active due to health reasons. Staff/providers outside of my department were a bit upset (in a good way) when I finally told them my plans, and I am sad that I don’t have the opportunity to collaborate and assist them anymore. COVID had also made socializing with my coworkers more difficult so work was less fun in that respect as well.

I felt a little lost with mixed feelings after my last day, but I do love the spontaneity I have to go foraging on a whim, bike ride, shrimping/fishing. I also love not worrying about insomnia from thinking about what I need to prepare at work when I should be sleeping.

Give yourself some time—I’m still working through acceptance and FOMO but it’s getting better every day
Parkinglotracer
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by Parkinglotracer »

Lucky.
nyclon
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by nyclon »

fsrph wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 12:41 pm Assume you have enough money to retire with a very conservative asset allocation. Is it normal to have conflicting thoughts? Second guessing yourself. Maybe about how much money you are leaving on the table. Feelings of separation and loss. Can anyone relate to this?

Francis
Do some googling about what folks who are terminally ill regret having done during their lives and what they wish they’d done. Spoiler: working more is not something they would have spent more time doing.

This may help clear any noise in your thought process. The question should be are you willing to start to “do you”.
BernardShakey
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by BernardShakey »

Barkingsparrow wrote: Mon Jun 27, 2022 4:48 pm
AlwaysLearningMore wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 7:12 pm
vested1 wrote: Mon May 18, 2020 5:08 am IMHO the ability to shut it all off after work while employed is key to transitioning to retirement.
That is an admirable skill. Wish I had it.
I think this skill is much easier to achieve these days with full-time remote and zoom meetings. Doing this for over a year now and it seems that the job has been relegated to some abstract thing that is just part of my daily routine. Shut down at the same time every day, put the work mobile away, and I'm done. I'll have to replace that routine to some extent, but I don't think it will be as much of a big deal as if I was still going into the office. I've only met co-workers in person twice in 18 months. Where I used to chat with them daily - now I rarely chat with them online.
+1. Remote work has been an extraordinary opportunity to transition into retirement. The retirement routine will be much less of an adjustment.
An important key to investing is having a well-calibrated sense of your future regret.
BarbBrooklyn
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by BarbBrooklyn »

Francis, I'm so glad that your dad is doing better!

The night I retired, feeling full of ambiguity and the beginnings of regret, my dh and I went out to our favorite restaurant. We ordered and I checked my phone.

My best friend from elementary school, with whom plans to get together kept getting put off due to work, had dropped dead of a heart attack the previous afternoon. We were both 65.

All my regrets vanished in that moment. Enjoy life!
BarbBrooklyn | "The enemy of a good plan is the dream of a perfect plan."
Parkinglotracer
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by Parkinglotracer »

Parkinglotracer wrote: Mon Jun 27, 2022 8:12 pm Lucky.
It would be too simple to say during this time of transition it will be important to stay busy and start doing things you have interest in outside of work. In my life that means joining the ymca to get in better shape and play pickle ball with a mostly retired similar aged crowd, getting together with friends for social hour, work around house like yard and garden, visiting some friends out of state on occasion and planning some affordable travel,

Sadly most of our lives are devoted to earning money so this is a tough habit to break. Your money or your life (book) is a good insight into this view … congrats on being able to retire - a problem many will never have. Working part time maybe part of your solution.

There are folks around you transitioning to retirement just like you - the challenge is to go find them in your community.
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JoeRetire
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by JoeRetire »

fsrph wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 12:41 pm Assume you have enough money to retire with a very conservative asset allocation. Is it normal to have conflicting thoughts?
Perfectly normal. It's a big transition.
Second guessing yourself. Maybe about how much money you are leaving on the table. Feelings of separation and loss. Can anyone relate to this?
I can understand, although I didn't go through that myself.

I planned long and hard for retirement and was very confident about the financial aspects. I was ready for the next phase of my life. I also had a bunch of things I wanted to try once retired, so it was a happy feeling for me once I finally gave my notice. The only concerns I had was about discussing leaving with all my coworkers. In the end the notice period went by very quickly.

My wife had more conflicting thoughts. But once we moved and were settled in our new home, she found herself a part-time job that made her happy.
This isn't just my wallet. It's an organizer, a memory and an old friend.
likegarden
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by likegarden »

I was stressed out the last year and responded to a sign my body gave. One night driving home I lost sight on one eye temporarily, had to twist my head to see the road with one eye. I gave 3 weeks notice to retire. (My doctor said he would have given me pills - no need to retire) . After that I totally relaxed at home, lost 20 lbs in weight, feeling good. While signing papers in my company another manager walked by and offered me a part-time job after half a year. That new job was relaxing, no stress, they needed my experience for another 3 years. That was 20 years ago, I have a good retirement.
ddbtoth
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by ddbtoth »

fsrph wrote: Sun Jun 26, 2022 5:04 pm
fsrph wrote: Sat May 16, 2020 12:41 pm Assume you have enough money to retire with a very conservative asset allocation. Is it normal to have conflicting thoughts? Second guessing yourself. Maybe about how much money you are leaving on the table. Feelings of separation and loss. Can anyone relate to this?

Francis
I'm the OP and I'm reviving this topic to share my account of how it felt when I recently gave notice. A little about me, I'll be 63 in a few more months and financially I'm doing great. I could easily afford to retire.

When I finally handed in my resignation I felt terrible. Had feelings of profound loss and was even crying for a while. I don't know why I reacted this way, isn't retirement something we save for and should be happy when we attain that goal. It's getting slowly better to come to terms with my decision, but I'm nowhere near being happy about it.

Francis
Come back in a year with an update. I’m one year out and having a hard time actually making the decision. Lots of good insights here though.
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Kenkat
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Re: How did you feel after giving notice to retire?

Post by Kenkat »

I would say my primary emotion was that I felt bad / guilty leaving the work behind for others to have to take on. I know that my expertise after close to 25 years with the company would be difficult to replace. I had some secondary worries about the financial aspects as well. Did I account for everything, what if something goes wrong, etc.

I had originally given about 4 months notice and agreed to make it 8 months instead; that ends in July when I will retire. The guilt feeling has mostly faded - the company will go on and as I have fine-tuned the financial plans, I realize that I should be good in any reasonable scenario. Net result, I am looking forward to this overall but I am sure there will still be some adjusting once it actually happens for real.
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