NEW UPDATE. DO NOT REPLY UNTIL YOU READ THE LAST UPDATE! 06/27/2016
Long time lurker, converted Boglehead, but also just starting out and in deep, but I can still see a light. Disclaimer: this is long.
Without giving marital advice, as I know we have some glaring issues, I need some ideas as to how to split finances. My husband has, without telling me until after we were married, a large amount of unpaid debt. He is also one who 'doesn't care' about finances as he has told me. I have an excel sheet and a budget plan where I track spending to the dollar. I know where we stand each month, and how much we can save/use to pay debt. Obviously we have differing opinions. He HATES when I ask him if charges on the joint account will be able to be expensed or not. He says I'm 'watching his every move' and 'scrutinizing' all spending, when in fact, I'm just trying to keep us in a budget and put them in the right category on the excel sheet.
Income:
me: $58K per year, ~$15K per year in National Guard pay. 5% pay $1 for $1 match, $.50 on the dollar for another 1% of pay from civilian employer. I currently contribute 6%. $1560/2 weeks net paychecks from civilian job.
Him: $35K per year, plus monthly commissions averaging (net) $2600. No contributions anywhere. Work provides him a vehicle. $1154 net bi-monthly paycheck in addition to the commission checks.
Savings: None - I wiped mine out to save my mother from losing her house, job etc. I do not expect this money back, ever. He has none either.
Our debt:
Me:
1.) CC's my mother took out in my name (Yes, this happens more often than you think) $7500. Varying interest rates from 3%-10.99% Currently paying more on the 10% which also has the biggest balance. Some of these had been charged off before I found out about them. I'm just paying these people to get them paid and forget about them. I'll have to worry about credit later on, as right now I have other issues to deal with. The charged off cards I am trying to work out deals with, so have yet to begin paying them. $128 minimum on the highest balance card ($4100 @ 10.99%) but paying $262
2.) $25K in student loans at 6%. $263 to pay minimums.
3.) $9600 at 6.6% on truck note (would be paid off but see debt #1. This was supposed to be a graduation gift, but I had to assume the note.) Will be paid off August 2012. $430
Him: I have no idea to how deep he's in. Here's what I do know about:
1.) Student loan of $4500 @ 2.9% interest plus another student loan @ ??% for a total of $362
2.) $1000 in unpaid speeding tickets. Have not paid. I think this should be his problem. He just got another one that will have to be paid as well.
3.) $600 at 5% left on a loan the bank gave him when he was underwater on his car. Should be paid off in October. $300/mo
4.) 3 or 4 random collections for under $600. Not paid.
Budget:
Rent $1100
Electric/Cable/Internet/Water: $229
Netflix: $9
Horse lessons: $150 (highest per month, may be as little as $50)
Food/toiletries/cleaning supplies/pet food: $480
My hair: $20
His Hair: $20
Gas (my commute is long and truck avgs 15mpg) $500
Renters/Auto: $621/6 months
Eating Out: $75
My Cell: $85
His Cell: $170
Gym: $72 (used a lot)
His extra class at gym: $65
His blow money: $200
Total with debt payments: ~$4520
Take home: $8,028
Left: $3108
Because of the $3108, he thinks we are well off and don't need to pinch pennies. I also know there is more on his end for debt but he has not told me about it (again - I know we have issues to resolve.)
I want to split our finances. He is not on board with the budget, or cutting expenses (like his $170 phone bill he says he absolutely needs for his job in outside sales.) Even with his debt, he wanted $200/month in 'blow money' and I'm worried that I'm going to end up financially stretched even more than I feel I am now. This has caused a lot of arguments, so I have now put everything on auto pay bill wise, and am letting him have 'what's left' after we pay expenses in the joint account. If his expenses go over, he won't have money saved for things he wants or won't be able to pay his debts.
The 10% card is on track to be paid off in 18 months. Because of my jobs, one with long hours, the other taking up more than one weekend a month based on certain factors, I don't get to go anywhere very much. I would like to be able to put $500/year towards a plane ticket/spending money to go see my oldest friend once per year. The joint account money pays my entertainment (horseback lessons 2-3 times per month for a total of $100-$150/month.)
My questions:
1.) I'm thinking of a 60/40 split. I would not contribute my Guard pay at all. I am thinking that should go into my TSP. This would leave him having an 'extra' $600-$1200/month based on expenses that month (for example, in October we have auto insurance due, and we pay 6 months in advance along with needing tires for the truck.)
2.) I would be left with $1500-$1700 per month after putting my portion of income (sans Guard pay) in the joint account. How much should I put in savings as an e-fund before I start putting more towards debt?
3.) Is there a magic potion to fix bad spending habits?
For the record, he's 34 and I'm 26. Seems like it should be switched around... I would appreciate all responses, sarcastic and serious; thought I've ruled out chloroforming him on weekends as an option to control spending. Anyone who can share their experiences as well would be welcome.
I'm probably guilty of being an enabler. The issue with the family thing is, she's my mother. She raised me, paid for my care etc. I felt I had the means to give back to her, so I did. She has a bad spending habit. The cards etc. came right after the mortgage was caught up, or I'd have paid them instead and tried to work out a better option with the mortgage.
), had a gifted truck become a debt, and are telling us he's the one with the debt problem?
