Preparing to run Family death scenarios

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Stoic9
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Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by Stoic9 »

My FIL died at the end if 2021. He had done some fair planning and even went through an estate planner. Wifeiod was name executor. She has spent hours every day since 'cleaning' up his life (calling government agencies is not easy). He married days before he died (he had planned to marry not to die). They had a pre-nup that basically stated everything went to his two children (wifeiod and BIL). This added complication to settling the estate as some was last days promises, some were benefits only a spouse can receive, etc. Wifeiod had his estate plan book which had many holes in it.

Anyway, wifeiod made it clear we would not put our childeiod through that. I (5th year of retirement) had already created a death book as my retirement plan calls for me to die 75+-2 and wifeiod 90+- 4. But no one was interested in talking or looking at my book, now they are. Now we will sit all together and ensure that my book is intuitive enough for them to follow.

Question: Anyone have some interesting input, experiences, stories that might help. Any resource you found most helpful?
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SmileyFace
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by SmileyFace »

I googled wifeiod and came up empty so no idea what you are talking about.
My Mom recently died. Funeral home contacted IRS/SS (required to do so by law) we called and notified state pension. It was easy - not sure what gov't agencies you are refering to. Then submitted death certs for some accounts to be moved to his name only (most difficult one to deal with was Vanguard as some things cannot be done online and require very long phone wait times during their business hours). Not a big estate though.
Silk McCue
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by Silk McCue »

Stoic9 wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 6:47 am Wifeiod was name executor.
Please explain the meaning of wifeiod. I can only find one other reference to this term on the web and it is from you in another thread shown below.

viewtopic.php?p=6447374#p6447374

Edit to add. The OP has been using this term and confusing folks on posts for a while. Maybe it’s time to stop doing so and wasting folks time with a confusing made up word. In another thread they state
.In my case I have a wifeiod, from the SyFy movie 'The last Starfighter'
However that is a misspelling as the term is “wifeoid”.

Cheers
Last edited by Silk McCue on Sat Jan 22, 2022 7:55 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Sandtrap
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by Sandtrap »

Stoic9 wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 6:47 am My FIL died at the end if 2021. He had done some fair planning and even went through an estate planner. Wifeiod was name executor. She has spent hours every day since 'cleaning' up his life (calling government agencies is not easy). He married days before he died (he had planned to marry not to die). They had a pre-nup that basically stated everything went to his two children (wifeiod and BIL). This added complication to settling the estate as some was last days promises, some were benefits only a spouse can receive, etc. Wifeiod had his estate plan book which had many holes in it.

Anyway, wifeiod made it clear we would not put our childeiod through that. I (5th year of retirement) had already created a death book as my retirement plan calls for me to die 75+-2 and wifeiod 90+- 4. But no one was interested in talking or looking at my book, now they are. Now we will sit all together and ensure that my book is intuitive enough for them to follow.

Question: Anyone have some interesting input, experiences, stories that might help. Any resource you found most helpful?
To understand the dynamics better:
"What is a "wifeiod"?

Have you finished estate planning (trust/will/etc) with legal counsel?

j :D
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MikeG62
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by MikeG62 »

OP, while I think it is pretty clear by the word wifeiod you mean your wife and by choldiod you mean your child. On this forum I think it would go over better to use the letters DW (for wife) and DS or DD (for your son or daughter).

Setting that aside, as to your question, search the forum (and/or internet) for the phrase Family Love Letter. I think you'll find some helpful advice.
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mkc
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by mkc »

The use of "wifeoid" adds confusion since it's not clear if this is a spouse in legal terms or not. For estate/inheritance there is a distinction.
Last edited by mkc on Sat Jan 22, 2022 9:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
an_asker
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by an_asker »

Is this the Return of the Munchkin Man thread? ;-)
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Doom&Gloom
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by Doom&Gloom »

The term sounds extremely demeaning. If not intended to be, please define it.

Thanks in advance!
MadAsgardian
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by MadAsgardian »

MikeG62 wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 8:34 am better to use the letters DW and DS or DD
Oh yeah that's much clearer for newbies/lurkers. :)
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by MikeG62 »

MadAsgardian wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 10:24 am
MikeG62 wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 8:34 am better to use the letters DW and DS or DD
Oh yeah that's much clearer for newbies/lurkers. :)
Ok, so I will make it clearer then:

DW = Dear Wife
DS = Dear Son
DD = Dear Daughter

I hope this still doesn't require further clarification.
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delamer
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by delamer »

My father had a death book.

Each entry had an identifying entity name, account number, toll-free 800 number contact, location of any relevant paperwork, and brief instructions on how to handle the account (cancel Medicare supplement; file for life insurance benefit; notify pension manager; etc.).

A better description of the contents of their safe deposit box would have been useful.

My parents didn’t have a computer so this wasn’t an issue, but keeping a hard copy (in addition to a Excel or Word document, or whatever) is a good idea.
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Parkinglotracer
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by Parkinglotracer »

MadAsgardian wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 10:24 am
MikeG62 wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 8:34 am better to use the letters DW and DS or DD
Oh yeah that's much clearer for newbies/lurkers. :)
In was here 6 months before i realized DW wasn’t divorced wife

I thought one down slide of being a boglehead was you were bound to get divorced - lol.
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JoeRetire
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by JoeRetire »

Stoic9 wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 6:47 am My FIL died at the end if 2021.
Sorry for your loss.
Wifeiod had his estate plan book which had many holes in it.

Anyway, wifeiod made it clear we would not put our childeiod through that. I (5th year of retirement) had already created a death book as my retirement plan calls for me to die 75+-2 and wifeiod 90+- 4.
You planned when to die? I don't see how that makes sense.
Now we will sit all together and ensure that my book is intuitive enough for them to follow.

Question: Anyone have some interesting input, experiences, stories that might help. Any resource you found most helpful?
Sounds like wifeiod and her late dad's book should be your primary resource, along with childiod. "Intuitive enough" is solely in the eye of the beholder.
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fposte
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by fposte »

Do you mean you're considering naming other than one of your children as executor? Because that could cause as many problems as it solves; they may feel obligated (as well as interested) to ensure good handling of the estate without having the power to make it happen.

My father was a huge simplifier, but handling his estate still took a lot of admin. It wasn't scary or difficult; it just took time to wade through the list of people and companies he had connections to, because that's modern life. I suspect those have only increased now that so many of us are subscribed to various streaming and other services. While you can help by providing clear instructions and asset info, setting expectations might be an important part of the discussion.
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Lee_WSP
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by Lee_WSP »

If you or they haven’t read it, Condon’s book “Beyond the Grave” is required reading for anyone who wants insight into what can go wrong with a plan.

The best resource would be the lawyer who drafted the plan so he/she can explain how it’s supposed to work. However, this may be expensive, but probably worth it.

Blended families are where stuff gets complicated. So, if your family is not blended, it should be extremely straightforward.
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celia
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by celia »

Stoic9 wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 6:47 am Question: Anyone have some interesting input, experiences, stories that might help. Any resource you found most helpful?
OP-iod, without waiting for anyone to review your “death book”, you can start by reviewing it yourself. Make sure you are using the correct terminology throughout. Look for phrases that can be interpreted multiple ways. And drop your fantasy style of writing. If your legal documents contain words like “wifeiod”, the courts could through out the entire document.

Then look to see that distributions of all assets are defined regardless of the order anyone dies or losses cognitive decline. For example, is it defined what you and your wife(?) want to happen if your child(ren) die first, then your executor, then your wife, then you lose cognitive abilities? Will your world still run smoothly?
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celia
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by celia »

Lee_WSP wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 11:34 am Blended families are where stuff gets complicated. So, if your family is not blended, it should be extremely straightforward.
I disagree. The assets could be complicated (not easily divideable), the executor/trustee could be lazy or incompetent, or the beneficiaries might not agree with each other or with the executor/trustee.

I’ve seen blended families resolve an estate easier than “nuclear” families.
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Lee_WSP
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by Lee_WSP »

celia wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 12:58 pm
Lee_WSP wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 11:34 am Blended families are where stuff gets complicated. So, if your family is not blended, it should be extremely straightforward.
I disagree. The assets could be complicated (not easily divideable), the executor/trustee could be lazy or incompetent, or the beneficiaries might not agree with each other or with the executor/trustee.

I’ve seen blended families resolve an estate easier than “nuclear” families.
This is a family planning session, not a post death clean up the estate scenario. OP is still very much alive.
MadAsgardian
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by MadAsgardian »

MikeG62 wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 10:27 am I hope this still doesn't require further clarification.
It's clear when the explanation is provided, not at all clear when they're used on their own.
Silk McCue
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by Silk McCue »

MadAsgardian wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 2:02 pm
MikeG62 wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 10:27 am I hope this still doesn't require further clarification.
It's clear when the explanation is provided, not at all clear when they're used on their own.
On threads where they are used the average reader can tell by context. These particular abbreviations for family members are used fairly regularly here.

Edit to add - we do have a Wiki page that covers a number of abbreviations.

https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Abbrevi ... d_Acronyms

Cheers
Jablean
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by Jablean »

Recent thread that also has post to other threads - look for "death book" viewtopic.php?p=6411130

For DW, DH, DD, DS these are common acronyms throughout the online world. I am on three completely separate and different topic forums that all use these.
Zeno
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Re: Preparing to run Family death scenarios

Post by Zeno »

celia wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 12:51 pm
Stoic9 wrote: Sat Jan 22, 2022 6:47 am Question: Anyone have some interesting input, experiences, stories that might help. Any resource you found most helpful?
OP-iod …..
+1
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