+1 absolutely truewhodidntante wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 10:19 am I've found that people aren't as concerned with me as I would like to think. They mostly think about themselves.
I don't reveal my net worth or portfolio size to anyone. There is no upside.
FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
Similarly, it is also hard to hide that you don’t have worries with making the rent or other talk that would tip them off.VoiceOfReason wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 5:01 pm I think this is a great question.
I think in reality it would be very difficult to actually hide your financial situation unless you truly shared no personal information with anyone. (Being in any job where you make 0 personal connection with your colleagues must be miserable.)
Ultimately people would get a sense where u live, what vacations you go on, what you do on the weekend, etc. A typical barista doesn’t take their family on international trips and go to high end restaurants, live in certain neighborhoods, etc. so if you actually did make and have a lot of $$ it would be hard to hide.
If I did it, I would just carry on and let people guess/figure it out. One of the benefits of FIRE is you dont have to care what people think.
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
same here; in fact, financial matters never come up in conversations. Some of my friends are very well off (e.g. probably 9 figures although I really have no info other than knowing what their career path was) and some have mostly modest pension and modest savings.balbrec2 wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 5:38 pm+1 absolutely truewhodidntante wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 10:19 am
I don't reveal my net worth or portfolio size to anyone. There is no upside.
Stay hydrated; don't sweat the small stuff
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
Take a class, travel, volunteer, start a hobby. there are many ways to get over being bored besidesCuriousJoe wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 6:41 am If you achieved FIRE, got bored with the free time, and subsequently went back to work at a low-paying job, how much do you personally interact with co-workers/bosses?
1. Revealing too much of your background can create resentment with them
2. If you remain aloof ('under cover'), they may view you as a 'failure' especially if they are much younger than you and start treating you that way
3. When you see supervisors who are much younger than you, do you feel let down at times, even though you knew you were 'successful' in your prior professional life?
working at a menial job.
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
I'm going to chime in one last time, because your OP and comments are actually fascinating.
You took the job because you're bored, not because you need the income.
Therefore, the job is for entertainment purposes only.
Either it is fulfilling that purpose, or it is not.
You took the job because you're bored, not because you need the income.
Therefore, the job is for entertainment purposes only.
Either it is fulfilling that purpose, or it is not.
"The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next." ~Ursula LeGuin
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
I think you are missing the point. It’s fulfilling in many ways. OP is simply asking what path to take relative to WHY he’s taking a low level job at 50+.Beensabu wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 5:59 pm I'm going to chime in one last time, because your OP and comments are actually fascinating.
You took the job because you're bored, not because you need the income.
Therefore, the job is for entertainment purposes only.
Either it is fulfilling that purpose, or it is not.
People have taken the original question in so many different directions. It’s not whether it’s fulfilling, fun, paying the bills, etc.
The question is simply once you’ve FIRE’d but want to work a simple job for any reason (to get medical insurance, supplement early retirement, a store discount, or simply for something to do daily) how do you handle that YOU are very different than everyone else there?
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
Very well put. Call me crazy, but after retirement my mind wanders off into thoughts that seem to have no solutions in sight - such as, is this all there is to it, have I achieved my full potential, etc. ...No amount of traveling / hobbies seem to fill the void. At least with this job I can think about how to solve a specific problem, towards a solution. If I can't solve it, they simply assign it to someone else, with no repercussions. In a way, it has upsides, with no known downsides!VoiceOfReason wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 6:49 pmI think you are missing the point. It’s fulfilling in many ways. OP is simply asking what path to take relative to WHY he’s taking a low level job at 50+.Beensabu wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 5:59 pm I'm going to chime in one last time, because your OP and comments are actually fascinating.
You took the job because you're bored, not because you need the income.
Therefore, the job is for entertainment purposes only.
Either it is fulfilling that purpose, or it is not.
People have taken the original question in so many different directions. It’s not whether it’s fulfilling, fun, paying the bills, etc.
The question is simply once you’ve FIRE’d but want to work a simple job for any reason (to get medical insurance, supplement early retirement, a store discount, or simply for something to do daily) how do you handle that YOU are very different than everyone else there?
OP
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
Well, I already addressed that part, and so did a bunch of other people. Don't talk about it. Talk about other stuff. Shrug off direct Qs with minimal/vague info and a smile. Be nice. Do your job. Don't make trouble. Nobody is going to resent you if you're amiable and don't rub their nose in your well-offness or flaunt an air of superiority. That's one half.VoiceOfReason wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 6:49 pmI think you are missing the point. It’s fulfilling in many ways. OP is simply asking what path to take relative to WHY he’s taking a low level job at 50+.Beensabu wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 5:59 pm I'm going to chime in one last time, because your OP and comments are actually fascinating.
You took the job because you're bored, not because you need the income.
Therefore, the job is for entertainment purposes only.
Either it is fulfilling that purpose, or it is not.
People have taken the original question in so many different directions. It’s not whether it’s fulfilling, fun, paying the bills, etc.
The question is simply once you’ve FIRE’d but want to work a simple job for any reason (to get medical insurance, supplement early retirement, a store discount, or simply for something to do daily) how do you handle that YOU are very different than everyone else there?
The other half is ignoring it or laughing it off if you perceive others as treating you as a failure or being condescending (and it sounds like this is the real issue here, to be honest). OP dislikes being condescended to, but doesn't know how to address/correct it without spilling the beans and thus inviting resentment instead. The answer is: either don't let it bother you or find it funny.
And that leads back to: if the job is not for income/benefits (which OP has stated that it is not) but for entertainment (OP specifically indicated the scenario as went back to work due to boredom) and that job becomes not entertaining, but a source of consternation, then it's not fulfilling its purpose, so find something else that does.
Okay. This is an existential crisis. You are expressing the need for a purpose.CuriousJoe wrote:Call me crazy, but after retirement my mind wanders off into thoughts that seem to have no solutions in sight - such as, is this all there is to it, have I achieved my full potential, etc. ...No amount of traveling / hobbies seem to fill the void.
Edit: It's okay to need to feel needed and valued, to feel like your contributions and accomplishments are appreciated. That's human. There are ways to find that outside of a job/career.
Last edited by Beensabu on Sat Oct 23, 2021 8:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next." ~Ursula LeGuin
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
I'm a PhD scientist in the healthcare field who is surrounded by nothing but physicians at work. If the guy wasn't a physician, he was a very intelligent liar who had a lot of insight into a field he never worked in.PhoebeCoco wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 11:58 amOr so the Lyft driver claimed. I would take stories like this with a grain of salt.stoptothink wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 10:16 amI got a Lyft ride home from the VW dealership a few weeks ago from a recently retired orthopedic surgeon. Had to be in his mid-50s at the oldest. He said it took only a week or two before he was bored and decided to do this occasionally just so he has regular human interaction.
Retired orthopedic surgeons have a lot better options for regular human interaction than driving strangers around.
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
So you’re going to be so incompetent at your low-pay, low-stress job that your manager gives you constructive feedback, and your response is going be “well look here, buddy! Back in my day I was a VP of finance, so there!” And then pull off your beard and hat?CuriousJoe wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 4:17 pmI too enjoy being completely in the shadow. But if I see them treating me in a condescending way, shouldn't I get the urge to 'come out of the cover' - however slightly, and tell them that I have handled 'bigger' things in life?kelway wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 12:50 pmI look forward to this exact thing just as I somehow enjoy people seeing me in an old Honda Civic. Probably weird and probably some mental illness I haven't self-diagnosed yet.CuriousJoe wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 6:41 am
2. If you remain aloof ('under cover'), they may view you as a 'failure' especially if they are much younger than you and start treating you that way
Crom laughs at your Four Winds
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
I worked a seasonal summer position. My co workers say I have money because I'm a single bachelor without a fulltime job. I even told one I was just there for something to do, or because I enjoy their company. Then laugh about it. The reason I can get away with it is because I dress like a dirt bag, drive a frugal car, pack a simple lunch, and don't own anything extravagant or expensive. Just say you don't need much to live.CuriousJoe wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 6:41 am If you achieved FIRE, got bored with the free time, and subsequently went back to work at a low-paying job, how much do you personally interact with co-workers/bosses?
1. Revealing too much of your background can create resentment with them
2. If you remain aloof ('under cover'), they may view you as a 'failure' especially if they are much younger than you and start treating you that way
3. When you see supervisors who are much younger than you, do you feel let down at times, even though you knew you were 'successful' in your prior professional life?
I wouldn't work a fulltime job for peanuts... If you gotta be there make it worth your while.
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
I think this thread may be a troll.muffins14 wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 8:18 pmSo you’re going to be so incompetent at your low-pay, low-stress job that your manager gives you constructive feedback, and your response is going be “well look here, buddy! Back in my day I was a VP of finance, so there!” And then pull off your beard and hat?CuriousJoe wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 4:17 pmI too enjoy being completely in the shadow. But if I see them treating me in a condescending way, shouldn't I get the urge to 'come out of the cover' - however slightly, and tell them that I have handled 'bigger' things in life?kelway wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 12:50 pmI look forward to this exact thing just as I somehow enjoy people seeing me in an old Honda Civic. Probably weird and probably some mental illness I haven't self-diagnosed yet.CuriousJoe wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 6:41 am
2. If you remain aloof ('under cover'), they may view you as a 'failure' especially if they are much younger than you and start treating you that way
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
Lol, that's harsh. It's really just a "having trouble adjusting to retirement" thread phrased a different way.
"The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next." ~Ursula LeGuin
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
I don't know about that. I think the biggest stress of most low-paying jobs is HAVING to work that low paying job to cover your bills. If you're already FI, it's so different. You can work PT, tell the manager you're not working weekends and not worry about losing your job. I'm seriously considering going back to the production floor where I work as a transition to full retirement. Punch-in, put in your hours while chatting it up with the people around you or just lost in your own thoughts, punch-out and don't think about the place again until you come back. No work piling up for you if you take vacation, nobody calling you after hours.
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
Don' t discount the level of stress brought about in an environment where you are working with those people struggling to get buy. It is tough. I witness this in a somewhat similar way in my role as a public school teacher. While my particular job is not as stressful as most of my coworkers (Physical education vs core subject classroom teaching) the stress there is palatable even though I am financially much better off than 90%.cshell2 wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 9:06 pm
I don't know about that. I think the biggest stress of most low-paying jobs is HAVING to work that low paying job to cover your bills. If you're already FI, it's so different. You can work PT, tell the manager you're not working weekends and not worry about losing your job. I'm seriously considering going back to the production floor where I work as a transition to full retirement. Punch-in, put in your hours while chatting it up with the people around you or just lost in your own thoughts, punch-out and don't think about the place again until you come back. No work piling up for you if you take vacation, nobody calling you after hours.
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
Teaching of any type would not be what I would consider low-stress.coachd50 wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 9:21 pmDon' t discount the level of stress brought about in an environment where you are working with those people struggling to get buy. It is tough. I witness this in a somewhat similar way in my role as a public school teacher. While my particular job is not as stressful as most of my coworkers (Physical education vs core subject classroom teaching) the stress there is palatable even though I am financially much better off than 90%.cshell2 wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 9:06 pm
I don't know about that. I think the biggest stress of most low-paying jobs is HAVING to work that low paying job to cover your bills. If you're already FI, it's so different. You can work PT, tell the manager you're not working weekends and not worry about losing your job. I'm seriously considering going back to the production floor where I work as a transition to full retirement. Punch-in, put in your hours while chatting it up with the people around you or just lost in your own thoughts, punch-out and don't think about the place again until you come back. No work piling up for you if you take vacation, nobody calling you after hours.
I was thinking more along the lines of retail, grocery, walking dogs, milking cows, delivery person... I worked in a factory for 15 years (electronics, so clean, easy work), and also took care of the horses at a show barn. The only drawback to working the factory was all the mandatory OT for the full-timers.
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
then you have learned the true nature and character of your coworkers.
nothing more, nothing less.
how you choose to respond to that is up to you.
I choose to give my energy to those who i have a deeper relationship with.
someone who is condescending to me is not worth my time or energy because I wouldn't want to have a relationship with that type of person.
your life. your path.
there was a good book by Richard Feynman called, "What do you care what other people think?"
you might want to read it. It's more than just that though, but that's certainly a lesson that sometimes has to be learned by people.
It's hard to accept the truth when the lies were exactly what you wanted to hear. Investing is simple, but not easy. Buy, hold & rebalance low cost index funds & manage taxable events. Asking Portfolio Questions |
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
In my role, it is relatively low stress--but the stress placed on my co-workers definitely hangs in the air and affects myself and others.cshell2 wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 9:59 pmTeaching of any type would not be what I would consider low-stress.coachd50 wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 9:21 pmDon' t discount the level of stress brought about in an environment where you are working with those people struggling to get buy. It is tough. I witness this in a somewhat similar way in my role as a public school teacher. While my particular job is not as stressful as most of my coworkers (Physical education vs core subject classroom teaching) the stress there is palatable even though I am financially much better off than 90%.cshell2 wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 9:06 pm
I don't know about that. I think the biggest stress of most low-paying jobs is HAVING to work that low paying job to cover your bills. If you're already FI, it's so different. You can work PT, tell the manager you're not working weekends and not worry about losing your job. I'm seriously considering going back to the production floor where I work as a transition to full retirement. Punch-in, put in your hours while chatting it up with the people around you or just lost in your own thoughts, punch-out and don't think about the place again until you come back. No work piling up for you if you take vacation, nobody calling you after hours.
I was thinking more along the lines of retail, grocery, walking dogs, milking cows, delivery person... I worked in a factory for 15 years (electronics, so clean, easy work), and also took care of the horses at a show barn. The only drawback to working the factory was all the mandatory OT for the full-timers.
I am thinking there is probably stress in those other jobs as well- not necessarily in the work being performed, but from those above you (hurry up and get those shelves stocked, then go unload the truck, hit your quota of deliveries on time , etc. But there is definitely the ultimate stress reliever if you can just say "nah, I gotta go" and hold leverage based on your financial position.
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
I can assure you I am NOT a troll, just trying to figure out the dynamics of a post retirement job.stoptothink wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 8:37 pmI think this thread may be a troll.muffins14 wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 8:18 pmSo you’re going to be so incompetent at your low-pay, low-stress job that your manager gives you constructive feedback, and your response is going be “well look here, buddy! Back in my day I was a VP of finance, so there!” And then pull off your beard and hat?CuriousJoe wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 4:17 pmI too enjoy being completely in the shadow. But if I see them treating me in a condescending way, shouldn't I get the urge to 'come out of the cover' - however slightly, and tell them that I have handled 'bigger' things in life?kelway wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 12:50 pmI look forward to this exact thing just as I somehow enjoy people seeing me in an old Honda Civic. Probably weird and probably some mental illness I haven't self-diagnosed yet.CuriousJoe wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 6:41 am
2. If you remain aloof ('under cover'), they may view you as a 'failure' especially if they are much younger than you and start treating you that way
I do develop friendships over a period of time, after all I am spending 40+ hours a week. But revealing information - not financial stuff, but even personal info such as spouse's/kids' professions - at a later stage can feel awkward and kind of deceiving, which may lead to icing on the friendship.
Anyway, I pretty much expressed my thoughts on this subject, and I have my work cut out on developing human skills!
Thank you all for your wonderful feedback
OP
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
I‘ve encountered a version of OP‘s issue. It is a real issue. Most people don’t care about the details of your life, but bored competitors at work and some friends do.
And often what you don’t say speaks louder than what you do say. I was once told, by someone I was careful around, „I KNOW you got money. I don’t hear you complainin‘ about no bills.“
People working together at close range can be very curious about other people and make up incredible stories based on mere hunches. Sometimes these people grew up in small towns, or had many siblings, or just have active imaginations. They don’t like mysteries. These stories they think up can be unflattering and detrimental, to say the least.
So generally they need a story that makes sense to them and makes them feel both in the know and a touch sorry for you. It‘s usually best if there is some titillation or bad luck in it. If you don’t control the story you will be appalled at what they come up with.
For example, you can say OP is working there because he has alimony payments.
OP got laid off.
OP had a gambling issue.
OP got drunk at an office party and narrowly escaped a misdemeanor charge.
These are the better stories…
OP, there is a chapter in the book, We Need to Talk: a Memoir About Wealth, in which the author takes a job in a restaurant kitchen twice a week for just the reasons you mentioned. In fact the whole book is about the uncomfortable situations that arise after sudden affluence. OP you’re right that people don’t like finding out later - they feel deceived.
But the last thing I‘d reveal is affluence unless you want a bunch of loan requests or worse.
OP, there are more pleasant ways of meeting a wider cross section of people -a worthy goal - without working with them.
And often what you don’t say speaks louder than what you do say. I was once told, by someone I was careful around, „I KNOW you got money. I don’t hear you complainin‘ about no bills.“
People working together at close range can be very curious about other people and make up incredible stories based on mere hunches. Sometimes these people grew up in small towns, or had many siblings, or just have active imaginations. They don’t like mysteries. These stories they think up can be unflattering and detrimental, to say the least.
So generally they need a story that makes sense to them and makes them feel both in the know and a touch sorry for you. It‘s usually best if there is some titillation or bad luck in it. If you don’t control the story you will be appalled at what they come up with.
For example, you can say OP is working there because he has alimony payments.
OP got laid off.
OP had a gambling issue.
OP got drunk at an office party and narrowly escaped a misdemeanor charge.
These are the better stories…
OP, there is a chapter in the book, We Need to Talk: a Memoir About Wealth, in which the author takes a job in a restaurant kitchen twice a week for just the reasons you mentioned. In fact the whole book is about the uncomfortable situations that arise after sudden affluence. OP you’re right that people don’t like finding out later - they feel deceived.
But the last thing I‘d reveal is affluence unless you want a bunch of loan requests or worse.
OP, there are more pleasant ways of meeting a wider cross section of people -a worthy goal - without working with them.
Last edited by AnnetteLouisan on Sun Oct 24, 2021 9:27 am, edited 10 times in total.
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
I say this as a robot (I have Asperger's) who has struggled to figure out human interaction my entire life; if this thread is an indication, I agree, you have a lot to learn about developing human skills.CuriousJoe wrote: ↑Sun Oct 24, 2021 7:33 amI can assure you I am NOT a troll, just trying to figure out the dynamics of a post retirement job.stoptothink wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 8:37 pmI think this thread may be a troll.muffins14 wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 8:18 pmSo you’re going to be so incompetent at your low-pay, low-stress job that your manager gives you constructive feedback, and your response is going be “well look here, buddy! Back in my day I was a VP of finance, so there!” And then pull off your beard and hat?CuriousJoe wrote: ↑Sat Oct 23, 2021 4:17 pmI too enjoy being completely in the shadow. But if I see them treating me in a condescending way, shouldn't I get the urge to 'come out of the cover' - however slightly, and tell them that I have handled 'bigger' things in life?
I do develop friendships over a period of time, after all I am spending 40+ hours a week. But revealing information - not financial stuff, but even personal info such as spouse's/kids' professions - at a later stage can feel awkward and kind of deceiving, which may lead to icing on the friendship.
Anyway, I pretty much expressed my thoughts on this subject, and I have my work cut out on developing human skills!
Thank you all for your wonderful feedback
OP
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
AnnetteLouisan wrote: ↑Sun Oct 24, 2021 8:48 am I‘ve encountered a version of OP‘s issue. It is a real issue. Most people don’t care about the details of your life, but bored competitors at work and some friends do.
And often what you don’t say speaks louder than what you do say. I was once told, by someone I was careful around, „I KNOW you got money. I don’t hear you complainin‘ about no bills.“
People working together at close range can be very curious about other people and make up incredible stories based on mere hunches. They don’t like mysteries. These stories they think up can be unflattering and detrimental, to say the least.
So generally they need a story that makes sense to them and makes them feel both in the know and a touch sorry for you. It‘s usually best if there is some titillation or bad luck in it. If you don’t control the story you will be appalled at what they come up with.
OP, there are more pleasant ways of meeting a wider cross section of people -a worthy goal - without working with them.
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
The reason I like the question asked by OP is because it also applies to everyone on this board.
He had asked specifically about a low paying job in FIRE. However the exact same dilemma is faced by many on this board in their regular job. Most on this board have many $MM and have significantly higher net worth’s than co workers or superiors.
It’s a lot easier to handle when the socioeconomic disparity is less, but much of the same concepts apply.
He had asked specifically about a low paying job in FIRE. However the exact same dilemma is faced by many on this board in their regular job. Most on this board have many $MM and have significantly higher net worth’s than co workers or superiors.
It’s a lot easier to handle when the socioeconomic disparity is less, but much of the same concepts apply.
Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
AnnetteLouisan,AnnetteLouisan wrote: ↑Sun Oct 24, 2021 8:48 am I‘ve encountered a version of OP‘s issue. It is a real issue. Most people don’t care about the details of your life, but bored competitors at work and some friends do.
And often what you don’t say speaks louder than what you do say. I was once told, by someone I was careful around, „I KNOW you got money. I don’t hear you complainin‘ about no bills.“
There is a difference between lying and telling the whole truth. Do not lie. But, it is not necessary to tell everyone about everything. Especially, it would only bring you more problem.
A) I told my co-workers that my wife got into a car accident. My car is totaled and we had to and did bought a new car.
B) I did not go and told my co-workers that I could pay CASH for the car. I only took a car loan to get the additional discount.
C) I do not tell my co-workers that I paid off the car loan immediately.
Manage the flow of the information on "need to know" basis.
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
Is it that they feel "deceived", or is it that they may feel insulted because they are working under that stress to survive while other's may be doing it as a hobby? I can definitely see the later being one way that it is processed.AnnetteLouisan wrote: ↑Sun Oct 24, 2021 8:48 am ... In fact the whole book is about the uncomfortable situations that arise after sudden affluence. OP you’re right that people don’t like finding out later - they feel deceived.
But the last thing I‘d reveal is affluence unless you want a bunch of loan requests or worse.
OP, there are more pleasant ways of meeting a wider cross section of people -a worthy goal - without working with them.
I agree, there are definitely more pleasant ways of passing time than taking a job once retired.
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
I work a (very) part time, minimum wage job, because it’s something I enjoy enough that I would do it for free, and as a solid for the friend who’s my boss. My boss is a good friend who knows my financial situation. Nobody else there…cares. They’re into their own thing.
The entire premise of someone retiring, and then being so miserable that they’re willing to take some crap job at Starbucks or something, just baffles me. I agree completely that retired people need socialization. But take a yoga or art class, or find a fun volunteer activity (or several of those things), where you can get together with people that have common interests on an ongoing basis to do something that’s actually enjoyable. Going back to work at some bad job seems like the antithesis of why we retire.
The entire premise of someone retiring, and then being so miserable that they’re willing to take some crap job at Starbucks or something, just baffles me. I agree completely that retired people need socialization. But take a yoga or art class, or find a fun volunteer activity (or several of those things), where you can get together with people that have common interests on an ongoing basis to do something that’s actually enjoyable. Going back to work at some bad job seems like the antithesis of why we retire.
- AnnetteLouisan
- Posts: 7239
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
Semi-funny story to illustrate the point. I‘ll try to skip details to keep it anonymous. A coworker had a vacation home in a resort area. The coworker often mentioned it with great embellishment and I was admiring, which seemed to be what they wanted.
One weekend it came out inadvertently that I was heading near there myself to see relatives, but I mentioned it was a so-so area and nothing fancy, which is quite true. In fact it’s an area that, like many areas, changed from so-so to semi-fancy over time, so really it was just luck. And it’s theirs, not mine, anyway.
The coworker became inflamed and really pried as to where exactly. My relatives have a number of houses and rental properties on a number of streets in that area, so it’s hard to answer the question „what street“. So rather than come across as lying, which is how it looks when you can’t say a street name, I indicated all the various streets - whereas I should have just picked one.
Come to find out my relatives‘ stuff is exceedingly near their stuff and was quite comparable, but I had never mentioned it. The coworker insisted I show them each one and the friendship ended not long after. Which is sad, I think.
There’s a very good chapter in Sinclair Lewis‘s Babbit when the Babbitts have the HNW McKelveys over for dinner. It illustrates this problem. It ends in Mrs. Babbitt feeling humiliated.
Most of my life I’ve usually been the poorer one or less connected in most interactions, so I empathize. Most of us have been in the other’s shoes so I think we can sympathize if not empathize. These days some younger folks see me as entitled establishment, which after a saga of very gradual wealth and career building feels very alienating.
One weekend it came out inadvertently that I was heading near there myself to see relatives, but I mentioned it was a so-so area and nothing fancy, which is quite true. In fact it’s an area that, like many areas, changed from so-so to semi-fancy over time, so really it was just luck. And it’s theirs, not mine, anyway.
The coworker became inflamed and really pried as to where exactly. My relatives have a number of houses and rental properties on a number of streets in that area, so it’s hard to answer the question „what street“. So rather than come across as lying, which is how it looks when you can’t say a street name, I indicated all the various streets - whereas I should have just picked one.
Come to find out my relatives‘ stuff is exceedingly near their stuff and was quite comparable, but I had never mentioned it. The coworker insisted I show them each one and the friendship ended not long after. Which is sad, I think.
There’s a very good chapter in Sinclair Lewis‘s Babbit when the Babbitts have the HNW McKelveys over for dinner. It illustrates this problem. It ends in Mrs. Babbitt feeling humiliated.
Most of my life I’ve usually been the poorer one or less connected in most interactions, so I empathize. Most of us have been in the other’s shoes so I think we can sympathize if not empathize. These days some younger folks see me as entitled establishment, which after a saga of very gradual wealth and career building feels very alienating.
- oldcomputerguy
- Moderator
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Re: FIRE and take up a low paying / low stress job - do you stay 'under cover'?
This topic is locked. Whether or how much to engage in "personal interaction" with one's boss is a relationship issue, not a financial one, and so is off-topic for the forum. See: Personal Finance
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There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way. (Christopher Morley)