Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

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PackersFan12
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Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by PackersFan12 »

Hello all- I appreciate this forum so much, and the advice and perspectives people give. [OT comments removed by admin LadyGeek]

I'm 31 years old. I work a fairly tedious government job at a state agency that pays ~$54K gross. The health insurance is pretty cheap and I do get a pension, which is nice. I like many of my co-workers. However, I've been there for a little over 5 years, and I have basically peaked with regards to earnings and promotions (I have zero desire to go into management/supervisory positions). I feel completely stagnant in my current position, and lately I have become more and more frustrated, dissatisfied, and demoralized. I want to do something else, but I feel completely stuck.

I have a bachelor's degree and a law degree. Prior to my current position, I practiced law (criminal defense) for 6 months, and I quickly realized this was not the career for me so I stopped doing that. I care about criminal justice issues, but I just was not happy doing the work and dealing with the stress.

I have no idea what I can do or what I want to do. I realize that many jobs (most jobs?) are terrible and devoid of any real meaning or purpose in the grand scheme of things. I search around for jobs on Indeed and other jobs sites, and I do not have any of the relevant work experience or credentials for positions that look interesting to me. I feel like if I apply to these positions, it'll almost certainly get lost in the shuffle or will be discarded by some algorithm that looks for certain keywords in resumes and cover letters.

I have no idea what to do. Part of me wants to go back to school (not sure what I would want to study), but I have already spend a number of years in school and I don't want to take on debt to pay for tuition. Part of me wants to move to Hawaii (it's my dream to live there someday), though I've heard how hard it is to find jobs there, especially for those who are not natives.

For what it's worth, my total net worth is around ~$175K, which is a combination of my Roth IRA, Deferred Comp (Roth), HSA, Taxable Brokerage, Pension contributions, cash in bank accounts, and the value of my car. I max out my Roth IRA and HSA every year, and I put in what I can to the Deferred Comp plan and my Taxable Brokerage account.

I don't pay any rent or a mortgage (parents let me live in their condo rent/mortgage free), so my expenses are fairly low. My car is paid off. I don't have any student loans, and I don't have any debt of any kind.

I'm lost, frustrated, demoralized, confused, and I have no enthusiasm for life at the moment. I just feel lost.

Any opinions/advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.
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JAZZISCOOL
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by JAZZISCOOL »

Hello,

I might suggest seeking counsel from a good career coach.

I know of one firm based in Chicago that specializes in working with attorneys (one of the partners is a JD herself and previously worked at the University of Chicago Law School as Dean of Students.) I believe they work with people nationally as well. Apochromatik is the name of their firm.

https://www.apochromatik.com/our-team

Many good career coaches will have you do various assessments to help you determine what might be a good fit for you in a career. It is not just helping you work on a resume, etc.

Some of the prices may be high at first glance but, IMO, may be viewed as an investment in yourself and your future career. Also, most will offer a free phone consultation to see if the fit is good.

Also, I might suggest contacting your alumni career service office(s) to see what they have to offer (free) to alumni. Some offices are more robust than others.

Just a couple thoughts.
HyperCat
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by HyperCat »

You may be surprised how different all the possible careers within a single field can be. Things like company culture, work tasks, managers, levels of responsibility, etc. all make a big difference. I say that as someone who was similarly frustrated with five or six jobs within the confines of my degree before finding one I've enjoyed ever since.

My point is to not necessarily write off your whole degree/field just because this job isn't doing it for you anymore.
Sam_957
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Sam_957 »

“I do get a pension, which is nice “

Pension seems nice now, but may turn into a big reason not to leave when you want to even more, take risks at work, or develop your skills.
My other vehicle is an index fund.
KlangFool
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by KlangFool »

PackersFan12 wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 6:05 pm
I have no idea what I can do or what I want to do. I realize that many jobs (most jobs?) are terrible and devoid of any real meaning or purpose in the grand scheme of things.
PackersFan12,

A) That is the wrong question. The correct question is what do you believe as meaningful or purposeful?

B) And, why do you need your job in order to find meaning or purpose?

C) By definition, you would be willing to work for free to achieve meaning or purpose. Then, why do you need to do it as part of your job?

D) What if there is no meaning in life? Aka, there is only meaning in living? Aka, do the best that you could at every moment and find joy in everything that you do?

KlangFool
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by LadyGeek »

This thread has run its course and is locked (description of a medical condition). See: Medical Issues
Questions on medical issues are beyond the scope of the forum. If you are looking for medical information online, I suggest you start with the Medical Library Association's User's Guide to Finding and Evaluating Health Information on the Web which, in addition to providing guidance on evaluating health information, includes a list of their top recommended sites.
Update: See below.
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by LadyGeek »

After receiving a PM, the OP would like the discussion to continue without any mention of a medical condition. The advice is much appreciated.

This thread is now unlocked to continue the discussion.
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by LadyGeek »

Have you tried volunteering your time? Pick a profession, there are tons of organizations in need of assistance. Being a volunteer can be quite rewarding. You can also leave if you find that you're following the wrong path.
Wiki To some, the glass is half full. To others, the glass is half empty. To an engineer, it's twice the size it needs to be.
Waiting_for_Godot
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Waiting_for_Godot »

You mention positions that look interesting to you; I would start there and brainstorm options that would allow you to become competitive for these without undue expense; or perhaps look into possible scholarship options if another degree might be required.

I feel ya... I've been considering making a switch for some time now.
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Orangutan »

Which range of law school did you attend? I would look to alumni either on LinkedIn or a database your school might have and reach out for coffee chats in fields you may be interested (whether law or not).

I would also try to reframe things. You have a graduate degree and you’re employed with savings. View any career changes with optimism and an exploratory lenses. I would consider therapy to help with the reframing.
anthonypals
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by anthonypals »

PackersFan12 wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 6:05 pm Hello all- I appreciate this forum so much, and the advice and perspectives people give. [OT comments removed by admin LadyGeek]

I'm 31 years old. I work a fairly tedious government job at a state agency that pays ~$54K gross. The health insurance is pretty cheap and I do get a pension, which is nice. I like many of my co-workers. However, I've been there for a little over 5 years, and I have basically peaked with regards to earnings and promotions (I have zero desire to go into management/supervisory positions). I feel completely stagnant in my current position, and lately I have become more and more frustrated, dissatisfied, and demoralized. I want to do something else, but I feel completely stuck.

I have a bachelor's degree and a law degree. Prior to my current position, I practiced law (criminal defense) for 6 months, and I quickly realized this was not the career for me so I stopped doing that. I care about criminal justice issues, but I just was not happy doing the work and dealing with the stress.

I have no idea what I can do or what I want to do. I realize that many jobs (most jobs?) are terrible and devoid of any real meaning or purpose in the grand scheme of things. I search around for jobs on Indeed and other jobs sites, and I do not have any of the relevant work experience or credentials for positions that look interesting to me. I feel like if I apply to these positions, it'll almost certainly get lost in the shuffle or will be discarded by some algorithm that looks for certain keywords in resumes and cover letters.

I have no idea what to do. Part of me wants to go back to school (not sure what I would want to study), but I have already spend a number of years in school and I don't want to take on debt to pay for tuition. Part of me wants to move to Hawaii (it's my dream to live there someday), though I've heard how hard it is to find jobs there, especially for those who are not natives.

For what it's worth, my total net worth is around ~$175K, which is a combination of my Roth IRA, Deferred Comp (Roth), HSA, Taxable Brokerage, Pension contributions, cash in bank accounts, and the value of my car. I max out my Roth IRA and HSA every year, and I put in what I can to the Deferred Comp plan and my Taxable Brokerage account.

I don't pay any rent or a mortgage (parents let me live in their condo rent/mortgage free), so my expenses are fairly low. My car is paid off. I don't have any student loans, and I don't have any debt of any kind.

I'm lost, frustrated, demoralized, confused, and I have no enthusiasm for life at the moment. I just feel lost.

Any opinions/advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.
You literally just described me I’m also 31, except I don’t have as high a net worth as you but I’m going through the same issues.
jt90505
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by jt90505 »

Extending what Klangfool started, I would consider staying in the job and making the most of it until you have a clearer idea of where you want to go.

BUT, look outside work to use your skills as a volunteer (or develop new skills). Either that or participate in group activities that interest you...whether at the Y, an adult education program...it almost does not not matter what or where. A shift of focus could provide greater clarity on the direction you want to take with your career.

All the best
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by JMacDonald »

PackersFan12 wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 6:05 pm
Part of me wants to move to Hawaii (it's my dream to live there someday), though I've heard how hard it is to find jobs there, especially for those who are not natives.
You have heard it is hard to get a job there. That may be true, but why not give it a try. Then find out for sure.
Best Wishes, | Joe
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Beensabu
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Beensabu »

There's nothing wrong with your job. You have a good job. You like many of your co-workers. You have cheap health insurance. You have a pension. You have a job that will never leave you broke, as long as you don't gamble or do any of those other things that make all your money go poof. If you do not find your job morally objectionable and there is nobody in particular trying to make your work life hell, it's good.

This is sweet (yay you!):
I don't pay any rent or a mortgage (parents let me live in their condo rent/mortgage free), so my expenses are fairly low. My car is paid off. I don't have any student loans, and I don't have any debt of any kind.
Look, you obviously need to take a vacation to Hawaii, whenever you feel comfortable doing that. Use that vacation time you have stocked up.

Also, separate your work life from the rest of your life.
PackersFan12 wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 6:05 pm I'm lost, frustrated, demoralized, confused, and I have no enthusiasm for life at the moment. I just feel lost.
This is not work-related. This is life-related.

What do you like? What are you interested in? What topic makes you happy and bubbly and interesting to other people when it comes up?

Do that. Or more of that. In your free time.

It doesn't have to be your job.

Just do it. When you're not working. The thing that makes you happy.

That way, when the person in particular who decides to make your work life hell pops up (and they will, regardless of what your job is or where you work), you won't care hardly at all. Because your life will be good. Work is just work.
"The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next." ~Ursula LeGuin
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Watty
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Watty »

PackersFan12 wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 6:05 pm I work a fairly tedious government job at a state agency that pays ~$54K gross.
....
However, I've been there for a little over 5 years, and I have basically peaked with regards to earnings and promotions
Even with the pension that is not a great income for someone with a college degree and five years experience even in a low cost of living area. In addition to finding a different job for job satisfaction you can likely do a lot better financially with some other career path.

It will vary greatly but I have heard that many college placement center can still be used by alumni for career guidence and possibely connecting with employers. They may or may not be able to help you but it would be worth checking with the placement centers for the colleges you attended to see if there is anything they can do to help you figure out what to do next.
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Sandtrap »

Take time off from work.
Go to Hawaii
Look for work.
Immerse in the culture.
Meet interesting people that live there.
Come back with more options.

Thinking and thinking doesn’t change the POV.
Doing something does.
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MoonOrb
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by MoonOrb »

There are lots of legal jobs that don't involve litigation or even working at a law firm. Would something like that interest you? If so, you can make a plan to get there and start working on it. In the meantime, you have a job that you're competent at, that allows you to invest for your financial security, and a secure place to live.

Like, I know you're in a government job now, but there are lots of government jobs for lawyers that might be better than the one you have. One option might be to work for your state's attorney general's office and then go in house for one of the agencies. Higher ed institutions have a TON of lawyers working for them, you might like that. Same with health care organizations. If you want to work in house in private industry, you could at least contemplate working at a firm for a few years until it's time to make a move.

In short, I wouldn't conclude from six months practicing criminal law that practicing law isn't for you. The practice of law is incredibly varied. You know at least that practicing criminal law isn't for you--which is hardly a surprise, honestly--litigation is hard enough as it is and criminal litigation can be especially grueling.

Source: I started in criminal law, too. Now I work in house. Job satisfaction is high. Money is reasonable.

(Also, if there are other factors in life contributing, you can work on those in other ways whether or not you look for a new job or not. But I think some pretty timeless words of wisdom are, Wherever you go, there are you, so I don't know that changing careers will really get to the core of things).
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by beyou »

You didn’t like the stress of criminal law.
You are bored now without stress.

Part of the challenge is people like SOME stress but not too much. Not easy to find the right balance. Maybe you could ask for a bit more responsibility at your current job ?
stan1
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by stan1 »

I'd imagine there is a large pool of early 30s attorneys out there who have some feelings similar to you including some who are burned out in Big Law wondering whether it is worth it. I agree with a career coach if you don't have another mentor or colleague from law school that you really have a good trustful relationship with.

Most people don't have an on/off switch so happiness at work links back to happiness in other parts of life (relationships, friendships, hobbies, etc).
Joey Jo Jo Jr
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Joey Jo Jo Jr »

This is just a hunch, but why not hang out your own shingle? You hate the tedium, and there’s nothing less tedious than using every bit of your guile just to make another week and maybe, just maybe, make something pretty dang special out of nothing. You’ve got some savings and help from your parents, so what do you really have to lose except a work life you can’t stand? You might “fail,” but in the ways that really matter you’ll probably come out better for it even if you do, and you just might find something that not only supports you while helping real live human beings (no small thing), but gives you a reason to want to get out of the bed in the morning.

Now, you may need to apprentice with someone for a bit, but if you are willing to work for a third of your collections or thereabout, I feel pretty confident you could find an old timer to take you on. Good luck brother.
Trader Joe
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Trader Joe »

PackersFan12 wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 6:05 pm Hello all- I appreciate this forum so much, and the advice and perspectives people give. [OT comments removed by admin LadyGeek]

I'm 31 years old. I work a fairly tedious government job at a state agency that pays ~$54K gross. The health insurance is pretty cheap and I do get a pension, which is nice. I like many of my co-workers. However, I've been there for a little over 5 years, and I have basically peaked with regards to earnings and promotions (I have zero desire to go into management/supervisory positions). I feel completely stagnant in my current position, and lately I have become more and more frustrated, dissatisfied, and demoralized. I want to do something else, but I feel completely stuck.

I have a bachelor's degree and a law degree. Prior to my current position, I practiced law (criminal defense) for 6 months, and I quickly realized this was not the career for me so I stopped doing that. I care about criminal justice issues, but I just was not happy doing the work and dealing with the stress.

I have no idea what I can do or what I want to do. I realize that many jobs (most jobs?) are terrible and devoid of any real meaning or purpose in the grand scheme of things. I search around for jobs on Indeed and other jobs sites, and I do not have any of the relevant work experience or credentials for positions that look interesting to me. I feel like if I apply to these positions, it'll almost certainly get lost in the shuffle or will be discarded by some algorithm that looks for certain keywords in resumes and cover letters.

I have no idea what to do. Part of me wants to go back to school (not sure what I would want to study), but I have already spend a number of years in school and I don't want to take on debt to pay for tuition. Part of me wants to move to Hawaii (it's my dream to live there someday), though I've heard how hard it is to find jobs there, especially for those who are not natives.

For what it's worth, my total net worth is around ~$175K, which is a combination of my Roth IRA, Deferred Comp (Roth), HSA, Taxable Brokerage, Pension contributions, cash in bank accounts, and the value of my car. I max out my Roth IRA and HSA every year, and I put in what I can to the Deferred Comp plan and my Taxable Brokerage account.

I don't pay any rent or a mortgage (parents let me live in their condo rent/mortgage free), so my expenses are fairly low. My car is paid off. I don't have any student loans, and I don't have any debt of any kind.

I'm lost, frustrated, demoralized, confused, and I have no enthusiasm for life at the moment. I just feel lost.

Any opinions/advice is greatly appreciated.
Thank you for reading.
Yes, I do:

1. Your compensation is shockingly, shockingly low. Personally, I cannot believe how low your compensation is.
2. You should use Linkedin and Indeed to search for and find corporate legal positions. Pharmaceutical and Medical device legal positions are always open, available and in dire need. Additionally, these positions are way, way more challenging than what you have been experiencing. Believe me, I know.
3. Companies (as stated above in #2) are in dire need of your education, skills and experience. Really, this is this your opportunity to help humanity and at the same time achieve salary compensation in line with your education and qualifications.

Best of luck.
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PackersFan12
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by PackersFan12 »

I appreciate all of the comments so far, thank you.
LLeaff
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by LLeaff »

I might have missed it but did you mention if you're married or have kids? I'm assuming not. It only gets more complicated once they come along so best to try and get this sorted out now.

Looks to me like your glass is half full. You've got a descent job, with descent pay and benefits, and the good fortune to have little living expenses. Sounds like a great base to explore from. Maybe peruse the community college catalog for something of interest? Try volunteering for inspiration (Leader dogs, STEAM for kids, battered shelter, political campaign, help out with a coding project, explore the 'maker' world...). If you've ever been interested in starting a business now would be a great time to find a job in that industry to see how it works.
wfpbFI
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by wfpbFI »

Just a suggestion since you have a law degree and already built some time toward a government position. You could look into getting a patent law certification. There are a handful of "good" paying government positions in this field where you may still be able on continue growing the pension. I have a family member who does this and seems to be happy. But please do your own research before making any decisions.

I'd also consider just applying for the "interesting" job postings instead of assuming you'll get lost in the shuffle. Worse case you hear nothing back or a no thank you.
Humility101
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Humility101 »

OP,

You have three options in your situation: you can change it, you can accept it, or you can leave it.

If Hawaii is your dream, you can certainly move there, and move there relatively quickly. You are well educated so that is helpful, but you should focus on what you are truly interested in doing, and whether or not it is compatible with living in Hawaii (jobs with remote work, and Hospitality fit the bill in terms of living+working in Hawaii). What about being legal counsel for a resort?

I personally wouldn’t move there on a whim, but maybe visit, do some homework, look for jobs, then chart your next move in 3-6 months. And if it means going back to school at the University of Hawaii to become...whatever you want to be, then do it. You can always change your path, you just have to look in the mirror and own it.

Good luck!

Humility101
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sunny_socal
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by sunny_socal »

Sounds like you're doing very well money-wise. But it seems like you're not really Living.
- Get a hobby
- Get a wife & family
- Travel
- Buy a motorcycle/boat/plane/car

In many respects your job is a dream job. You can likely do 'better' but be prepared for any change to be disruptive for a while. There's no harm in pushing yourself, so look for something else if you wish. At the very least you'll learn something about yourself.
brocker
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by brocker »

I would second the notion that you should consider starting your own business. I was similarly discouraged in my early 30s and felt I was stuck in and industry because of my background and (lack of) education. I was inspired by my father, who in his 50s, decided he had had enough of cubicles and the big city. He left and started a business in a very rural area. I thought he was crazy and would be broke in to time. He ended up having a much more fulfilling life and did just fine in his business. In the great recession, I got laid off and decided to give it (starting a business) a try myself. It was very difficult for the first few years, but persistence and hard work paid off. It usually does, from what I've seen. Maybe you could consider some businesses that are outside of your current field, which isn't working for you. You can start small. You don't have to take on investors or get some giant loan. Hope you find what you're looking for!
GmanJeff
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by GmanJeff »

As a few others have said, a law degree can be an extremely versatile credential. Have you considered an attorney position within the state government, thereby bridging your time in service towards a state pension?

Perhaps you'd enjoy the challenges and rewards of law enforcement, where a law degree is advantageous. In addition to roles within the state government, to again keep you on track with regard to your pension, opportunities exist at the federal and local levels everywhere, including in Hawaii. Except in the very smallest and most rural agencies, most such roles will be better compensated than your current job and will offer pensions and other government benefits. It's possible to specialize within the profession to align with your interests, whether that be uniformed patrol, criminal investigations, park ranger-type duties, K-9 handler, polygrapher, School Resource Officer, SWAT, motorcycle officer, etc. In the federal realm, a law degree can be helpful in not only law enforcement positions but in intelligence and in sworn and non-sworn counterintelligence (CI) roles.

Many, although not all, law enforcement, intelligence, and CI professionals actively look forward to going to work each day - the work is tremendously meaningful, can be exciting (as well as sometimes monotonous, it must be admitted), and is endlessly challenging. And, these are distinct cultures (for better or for worse), with oftentimes more camaraderie and sense of belonging than can be found in many other jobs. It is not an exaggeration to say that, for many, being an Officer (or Special Agent, or Case Officer) becomes who you are rather than just something you do. Some may not find that appealing, but others find it very satisfying

Consider, too, the potential advantages of professional advancement into management, either where you are or in a new role. The annoyances and frustrations of managing people are a real consideration, but so is the gratification which comes from making policy rather than just being bound by it, something you cannot enjoy at the working level. Additionally, managers and executives often have opportunities to interact with peers in other departments, agencies or potentially even in other countries, which can add a positive dimension to the work experience. Additional compensation is always another benefit, as can be the psychological rewards of being in and being entrusted with a position of greater responsibility.

Informational interviews with people in roles you might want to transition to would be a good idea - LinkedIn, alumni offices at your undergraduate and law schools, and social connections might all be in a position to offer leads along those lines.
Last edited by GmanJeff on Sat Jul 24, 2021 8:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
smitcat
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by smitcat »

Sandtrap wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 8:37 pm Take time off from work.
Go to Hawaii
Look for work.
Immerse in the culture.
Meet interesting people that live there.
Come back with more options.

Thinking and thinking doesn’t change the POV.
Doing something does.
j🌺
Exactly true - the less you do , the less you will do.
chazas
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by chazas »

Humility101 wrote: Sat Jul 24, 2021 6:29 am OP,

You have three options in your situation: you can change it, you can accept it, or you can leave it.

If Hawaii is your dream, you can certainly move there, and move there relatively quickly. You are well educated so that is helpful, but you should focus on what you are truly interested in doing, and whether or not it is compatible with living in Hawaii (jobs with remote work, and Hospitality fit the bill in terms of living+working in Hawaii). What about being legal counsel for a resort?

I personally wouldn’t move there on a whim, but maybe visit, do some homework, look for jobs, then chart your next move in 3-6 months. And if it means going back to school at the University of Hawaii to become...whatever you want to be, then do it. You can always change your path, you just have to look in the mirror and own it.

Good luck!

Humility101
I would think very carefully before moving to Hawaii. I moved there in my early 40s as part of an early midlife crisis. There are nice things about it but it’s a very, very difficult place to live. I lasted 4 years. I still have friends there, and enjoy visiting, but like almost all mainland haoles who move there I did not last. The reality of living there is not anything close to the image, or the vacation experience.
WhyNotUs
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by WhyNotUs »

One caution that I would offer to Sandtraps comments, when I lived in Hawaii I met many people who moved there thinking that all of their problems would go away when they moved to paradise. They often end up frustrated and leave when they discover that their problems were neatly tucked into the luggage that they brought and they are spending most of their time battling living in a HCOL area. You have some things to figure out, a change of place may help you figure them about but I would not count on it.

There is always Ted Baxter as a starting place:
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2yxsd6



Sandtrap wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 8:37 pm Take time off from work.
Go to Hawaii
Look for work.
Immerse in the culture.
Meet interesting people that live there.
Come back with more options.

Thinking and thinking doesn’t change the POV.
Doing something does.
j🌺
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bling
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by bling »

something's wrong. your income is well below the average for a lawyer with your years of experience. you should definitely look around. you might even be able to double your income overnight by going into the private sector.
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Sandtrap
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Sandtrap »

WhyNotUs wrote: Sat Jul 24, 2021 8:10 am One caution that I would offer to Sandtraps comments, when I lived in Hawaii I met many people who moved there thinking that all of their problems would go away when they moved to paradise. They often end up frustrated and leave when they discover that their problems were neatly tucked into the luggage that they brought and they are spending most of their time battling living in a HCOL area. You have some things to figure out, a change of place may help you figure them about but I would not count on it.

There is always Ted Baxter as a starting place:
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2yxsd6



Sandtrap wrote: Fri Jul 23, 2021 8:37 pm Take time off from work.
Go to Hawaii
Look for work.
Immerse in the culture.
Meet interesting people that live there.
Come back with more options.

Thinking and thinking doesn’t change the POV.
Doing something does.
j🌺
Great points and very well said.
While committing to reallocate may be a far option or not, per the OP’s sentiments, “ taking a vacations and visiting” Hawaii and being immersed in an Island experience (vs western tourists”) (and and environment far different than continental USA in some aspects) can be greatly helpful to get a different perspective of many things when returning “home”.

Sit on the beach under a palm tree by yourself. (no input from others, no cell phone social media, etc). Feel the soft cool trade winds against you. Listen to the palm fronds rustle above you and the soft cooing of doves, or "yak yaks" of comical "Myna Birds". Take a deep breath. Think about what you want in life. Financially. As a person. Take inventory of your "Self". Life goals.

Read:
"Life Strategy" and "Life Code", by Dr. Phil McGraw. (paperback on Amazon). (take on your Hawaii vacation).

There are many interesting opinions and viewpoints on these things based on each person’s life experience and sentiments.

OP: PM me as you wish.
j🌺
Last edited by Sandtrap on Sat Jul 24, 2021 11:11 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Herekittykitty
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Herekittykitty »

Have you considered active duty military if you have the physical health for it, or otherwise have you considered civilian federal employment for any of various federal agencies, for example for the Veterans' Administration?

Benefits are good and working with soldiers or veterans can be enormously rewarding especially if you have or can develop a calling for it.
I don't know anything.
Wannaretireearly
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Wannaretireearly »

Great advice above.. OP, you could try and talk with friends inside, or outside the company and be honest where you're at. We sometimes all just need to talk, vent, brainstorm ideas. Tried anything like that? You may feel better after confiding with someone over coffee/beer/wine.
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MathWizard
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by MathWizard »

You didn't mention the field that you are in. If you are in IT,
compliance is a growing area, both with legal requirements and security.
Mike Scott
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Mike Scott »

Life coach / career coach / therapist / talk to friends and family / network / talk to strangers on the internet / read a few books / find some pod casts if you prefer. You are not the only one thinking about these things.
DB2
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by DB2 »

I would think about how you might be able to leverage your law degree into a new field. Someone made a point about IT - great option.

When I graduated college in my 20s with a BA, I went into teaching. I taught for three years and didn't like it for a variety of reasons. I went back to get my Masters in IT (only took about two years) and have been in this field for 20 years moving through various roles/positions. It was the best move I ever made as there are LOTs of opportunities and always new things to learn. My earnings allow me to save/invest and live well below my means.
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PackersFan12
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by PackersFan12 »

I appreciate all the posts so much, and I've read each and every one of them. I'm going to look into getting a career coach, and yes, I do think a trip to Hawaii may be good for me.

I don't have much interest in becoming a lawyer again, and I don't think I would have the necessary experience to go into some of the areas that some of you suggested. Maybe I'm wrong on that, but that's my gut feeling.

I have a lot to work on, but I at least feel a little better about my situation. Thanks again everyone.
obgraham
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by obgraham »

Here's my take, as one who has met some lawyers, but knows nothing about practicing law:

As others have said, law is a very diverse field. The one I met who was the happiest with his life's work was a guy who helped me with estate planning. That is all he did, over a pretty wide geographic area. He found his clients almost universally very appreciative of what he did for them, and there was little stress, little bickering, and no confrontations.

Sure, it is a specialty. It may be boring to a young practitioner. You would have to join up with someone in the field to learn how it is done. But it seems to me better than sitting around bemoaning, and the services will always be needed.

I'm sure there are other lines of legal work for which a similar argument could be made.

It would be a mistake, in my opinion, to go back to school to learn something else. That pathway will never end.
Katietsu
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Katietsu »

You mentioned that you were interested in a few alternative careers. I would really try to get on the ground exposure before changing careers again. Talk to people with that job. Shadow, volunteer, work at entry level in the field/environment that you are interested in. You might find out that the day to day of some of these jobs is worse than what you have now. Or you may get really find a passion.
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Godot »

Herekittykitty wrote: Sat Jul 24, 2021 10:30 am Have you considered active duty military if you have the physical health for it, or otherwise have you considered civilian federal employment for any of various federal agencies, for example for the Veterans' Administration?

Benefits are good and working with soldiers or veterans can be enormously rewarding especially if you have or can develop a calling for it.
This is good advice. Everyone doesn't have a so-called "calling" or a "bliss" they need to follow, but with imagination, grit, and desire you might be able to craft something that could approximate/approach those terms. And if you never find a work role that does that, know that you are not alone. Most of the workers in the world are in your boat.
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oldfort
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by oldfort »

delete
Last edited by oldfort on Sun Aug 01, 2021 3:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Jack56
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Jack56 »

For many people, perhaps most people, work is a way to support your family and have some resources left over to do what you enjoy. Perhaps if you had more fulfillment in these areas your job would be less important. It seems to me that moving to a different place is highly unlikely to solve much of anything since it sounds as if the problem is internal so once you get to Hawaii or wherever it will soon again be the same issues.
Cthulhu
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Cthulhu »

I was and still am a gov't employee, but after 20 years at my 1st gig, I switched to a different one after a reorg. The manager at gig #2 made me miserable, so I moved across the country to a new job less than a year later. That was a drag, but those are the risks of switching. The pay is great now, but the work is dull and meaningless, so I will get out the resumes again after 3 years. I just have an itch to do work I like, learn new skills and make a difference. It is worth the hassle and risk to me, since I look at it as sort of an adventure or at least a challenge.

Leaving the 1st gig after 20 years was tough, but I did not want to look back and ask, 'What if?" Now I know.
hi_there
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by hi_there »

OP, I think your disinterest and lack of direction is common among people your age. Part of this probably does come from just being in an uninspiring place and circumstances, but I think some of this attitude also comes from internal sources. This is already your second career that "wasn't for you", and you said you quit being a lawyer after only 6 months. You also say you have no interest in excelling and being promoted in your new job. Do you think you have problems committing to work or generally finding that you have a lack of ambition? Let's say you find a third career that sounds better at first - will you have the same problem? Maybe career change is just running away from confronting mental limitations that stop you from succeeding.

I think it will be productive to engage in some kind of counselling, either formally or informally, that addresses not only career placement, but how you can find motivation and satisfaction in normal job activities - or if not that, then how your job can support parts of your life that are more satisfying.
Random Poster
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Random Poster »

If you want to stay in the legal field and if you like finance/investment issues, think about going into tax law. Would probably need to get an LLM, so there that, but it might be an interesting career change.

Or just ditch the law degree and reconsider what you wanted to be when you were younger and didn’t really know anything. And then do that.

Many people say that a law degree is versatile, but I don’t agree. A law degree lets you practice in many different legal specialties, but it isn’t going to let you design a bridge, operate on an animal, or the like. And for those careers that you can do with a law degree (like journalism, run a company, teach, etc), you could do them without a law degree too.

Lastly, I think that there are more unhappy lawyers than there are happy ones. So you aren’t alone.
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Shallowpockets »

Op. The most immediate thing you can do is to go to Hawaii. It is your dream. You need to see if it is simply a dream or could be less than you have in your mind.
You could do it anytime. The sooner the better. Go for minimum of one week. Doesn’t matter what island. Just go.
The rest of the advice will take much longer to implement.
Although Hawaii is not a solution to your overall dissatisfaction, it is a worthy choice at this point in time. If you cannot get up and go to Hawaii, with its instant gratification or not, how will it be to pursue one of the other suggestions with no known consequences excepting well into the future.
Financologist
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by Financologist »

Kudos to you for wanting more from your career and life.

Questioning one's path early is better than looking back with regret.

Something that helps me keep perspective in terms of finding every day meaning at work... I try to see every interaction as an opportunity to brighten someone's day, provide value to their work, and/or learn something from them (and let them know) so they have the satisfaction of having helped/taught me.

In other words, meaning at work doesn't always (or ever) need to come from the work's mission. Your mission at work can be far more important.

Good luck to you
Financologist
PoppyA
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Re: Looking to change careers, but feel stuck. Dissatisfied with life.

Post by PoppyA »

Have you ever felt satisfied with life, or is this something new. Life is not all ease & joy. Sometimes you have to put your head down & carry on. From what I can gather you seem to have a pattern of going from one thing to another.

Also,the pandemic has had a big effect on people & their attitudes. Don’t discount that.

Perhaps become a Detroit Lions fan would help? 😁
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