How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

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sunny_socal
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by sunny_socal »

As little as possible. We once attended a rather low budget wedding and it was still fun:
- Location was a local library
- Dinner was from a food truck (Yes, some food trucks are amazing)
- Music from a DJ with a laptop

If you're going to spend $$ on a wedding, spend it on an open bar. Your guests won't care about the rest. :beer
HornedToad
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by HornedToad »

carloslando wrote: Wed May 12, 2021 6:25 pm
Surfcaster wrote: Wed May 12, 2021 5:53 pm No such thing as a typical wedding.

More info would be required.

Wedding in church with no facility fee or a large
Banquet hall?
Alcohol served? - typically a big adder

Etc.
Assume a private venue and banquet hall. Costs cover wedding+reception. Alcohol served.
25-30k
stoptothink
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by stoptothink »

rightdecisions wrote: Thu May 13, 2021 9:49 pm It is normal to have both families chip in? In today's world everyone wants equality...This is a great opportunity to split the cost, right?
As most things; it totally depends on area and culture. I didn't even know that it was an expectation that parents contributed at all to weddings until I joined this board because it just isn't a thing in my/our family and social circle.
ddurrett896
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by ddurrett896 »

I'd budget...

$5K for Venue
$5K for food
$5K for alcohol
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nisiprius
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by nisiprius »

Just as a data point, a couple of decades ago one of my kids had what I think of as a pretty traditional "church wedding and reception" in a small city. We paid the cantor and organist (Jeremiah Clarke trumpet voluntary for processional, Mendelssohn for the recessional, pretty sure "Panis Angelicus" was sung at some point), donation to the church, videographer, photographer, DJ, reception at a golf club clubhouse for forty people at $50 per head? Buffet meal, maybe the second-highest price point, included a guy carving roast beef, all pretty good. I don't quite remember the deal at the bar, I think it was open bar for an hour and cash bar afterwards, and domestic champagne. The all-in cost to me, father-of-the-bride, was about $30,000.

In other words, of course there's a wide range, but a traditional US church wedding" is what it is and I think it's safe to say you are talking about five figures.

The whole business is totally alien to me as my wife and I were married in judges' chambers and the all-in cost was about $100 including the trip through the car wash to get the shaving foam off our car, but it was not about me. I even worry a little as to whether I cheaped out on the deal, but I think it was OK. The point was that it was what my daughter wanted, and that it was important to her to meet the social and cultural expectations of her husband's family. You might say she wanted "a normal wedding." Unlike my son and daughter-in-law, who had theirs outdoors in summer, wrote their own vows, and went down the aisle with the flower girl leading their dog on a leash behind them. Yeah, my wife and I paid for our daughter's wedding, and our son's bride's parents paid for theirs.
Last edited by nisiprius on Fri May 14, 2021 8:07 am, edited 3 times in total.
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smitcat
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by smitcat »

rightdecisions wrote: Thu May 13, 2021 9:49 pm It is normal to have both families chip in? In today's world everyone wants equality...This is a great opportunity to split the cost, right?
Nowadays anything is posible, it depends on who can do what and who wants to do what. Plenty of articles on this topic ...here is a typical one:
https://www.vogue.com/article/who-pays- ... ette-rules
oldfatguy
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by oldfatguy »

MrCheapo wrote: Thu May 13, 2021 9:43 pm
Is it the standard case in this country that the BRIDE's father picks up the tab for the entire wedding but the GROOM's father picks up the bar tab.
No, there is nothing standard. It varies tremendously by location, ethnicity, age, socioeconomic class, religion, etc.
stoptothink
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by stoptothink »

oldfatguy wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 8:09 am
MrCheapo wrote: Thu May 13, 2021 9:43 pm
Is it the standard case in this country that the BRIDE's father picks up the tab for the entire wedding but the GROOM's father picks up the bar tab.
No, there is nothing standard. It varies tremendously by location, ethnicity, age, socioeconomic class, religion, etc.
It's this simple. Might as well ask about budget for a home and not mention where you live, your HHI and liquid assets, and size of your family.
JackoC
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by JackoC »

oldfatguy wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 8:09 am
MrCheapo wrote: Thu May 13, 2021 9:43 pm
Is it the standard case in this country that the BRIDE's father picks up the tab for the entire wedding but the GROOM's father picks up the bar tab.
No, there is nothing standard. It varies tremendously by location, ethnicity, age, socioeconomic class, religion, etc.
'Standard' traditions and customs are less 'standard' nowadays generally in US society, I'd agree that far. But, the one that bride's family is principally responsible for paying for a wedding is still standard enough to keep in mind IMO if a parent of daughter(s) wondering what you're likely to feel social pressure to do, if you do not come from a particular national, ethnic etc. subculture where you already know your group's custom is something else, or travel in social circles of 'mainstream' people who are reflexively anti-traditional (some social circles are, others aren't). Not that anyone, even in the more tradition-oriented past, absolutely *had* to follow social conventions, there were always people who bucked them. But the idea that 'bride's family pays' has no implication for one's budget for weddings depending on the sex of their children is IMO not necessarily 100% realistic even nowadays.

Customs of groom's family paying for particular items, one version I know is they pay for the 'rehearsal dinner', a previous post said bar tab at the wedding reception, is more recent and fluid. I'd agree it's closer to 'no standard' when it comes to groom's family's perceived obligation.

Calling customs X-ist as earlier posts did is noise IMO. Customs just are, until they aren't, or you follow them or not. And others are often less interested in the speaker's claim to moral superiority via proclaiming things 'ist' than the speaker imagines.
Mr. Rumples
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by Mr. Rumples »

Sometimes I watch the TV show "Rich Bride Poor Bride." Inevitably the wedding goes way over budget.
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togb
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by togb »

I think weddings should be about love and people, not conspicuous consumption... .but that's just me. I don't have children that will require a wedding. If I ever decided to marry again, 10K tops.
sailaway
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by sailaway »

JackoC wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 9:30 am
oldfatguy wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 8:09 am
MrCheapo wrote: Thu May 13, 2021 9:43 pm
Is it the standard case in this country that the BRIDE's father picks up the tab for the entire wedding but the GROOM's father picks up the bar tab.
No, there is nothing standard. It varies tremendously by location, ethnicity, age, socioeconomic class, religion, etc.
'Standard' traditions and customs are less 'standard' nowadays generally in US society, I'd agree that far. But, the one that bride's family is principally responsible for paying for a wedding is still standard enough to keep in mind IMO if a parent of daughter(s) wondering what you're likely to feel social pressure to do, if you do not come from a particular national, ethnic etc. subculture where you already know your group's custom is something else, or travel in social circles of 'mainstream' people who are reflexively anti-traditional (some social circles are, others aren't). Not that anyone, even in the more tradition-oriented past, absolutely *had* to follow social conventions, there were always people who bucked them. But the idea that 'bride's family pays' has no implication for one's budget for weddings depending on the sex of their children is IMO not necessarily 100% realistic even nowadays.

Customs of groom's family paying for particular items, one version I know is they pay for the 'rehearsal dinner', a previous post said bar tab at the wedding reception, is more recent and fluid. I'd agree it's closer to 'no standard' when it comes to groom's family's perceived obligation.

Calling customs X-ist as earlier posts did is noise IMO. Customs just are, until they aren't, or you follow them or not. And others are often less interested in the speaker's claim to moral superiority via proclaiming things 'ist' than the speaker imagines.
Yep, nothing sexist about one side having most of the obligations...
Keenobserver
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by Keenobserver »

Such decisions are made by your wallet not Boogleheads.
oldfatguy
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by oldfatguy »

JackoC wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 9:30 am
'Standard' traditions and customs are less 'standard' nowadays generally in US society, I'd agree that far. But, the one that bride's family is principally responsible for paying for a wedding is still standard enough to keep in mind IMO if a parent of daughter(s) wondering what you're likely to feel social pressure to do, if you do not come from a particular national, ethnic etc. subculture where you already know your group's custom is something else, or travel in social circles of 'mainstream' people who are reflexively anti-traditional (some social circles are, others aren't). Not that anyone, even in the more tradition-oriented past, absolutely *had* to follow social conventions, there were always people who bucked them. But the idea that 'bride's family pays' has no implication for one's budget for weddings depending on the sex of their children is IMO not necessarily 100% realistic even nowadays.
Of course it is realistic. If my daughter decides to have a wedding someday, that's up to her and has absolutely nothing to do with me. I have no interest at all in contributing to the cost, any more than I would if she decided to buy a boat or go on vacation.
Last edited by oldfatguy on Fri May 14, 2021 10:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
JackoC
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by JackoC »

sailaway wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 10:08 am
JackoC wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 9:30 am
oldfatguy wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 8:09 am
MrCheapo wrote: Thu May 13, 2021 9:43 pm
Is it the standard case in this country that the BRIDE's father picks up the tab for the entire wedding but the GROOM's father picks up the bar tab.
No, there is nothing standard. It varies tremendously by location, ethnicity, age, socioeconomic class, religion, etc.
'Standard' traditions and customs are less 'standard' nowadays generally in US society, I'd agree that far. But, the one that bride's family is principally responsible for paying for a wedding is still standard enough to keep in mind IMO if a parent of daughter(s) wondering what you're likely to feel social pressure to do, if you do not come from a particular national, ethnic etc. subculture where you already know your group's custom is something else, or travel in social circles of 'mainstream' people who are reflexively anti-traditional (some social circles are, others aren't). Not that anyone, even in the more tradition-oriented past, absolutely *had* to follow social conventions, there were always people who bucked them. But the idea that 'bride's family pays' has no implication for one's budget for weddings depending on the sex of their children is IMO not necessarily 100% realistic even nowadays.

Customs of groom's family paying for particular items, one version I know is they pay for the 'rehearsal dinner', a previous post said bar tab at the wedding reception, is more recent and fluid. I'd agree it's closer to 'no standard' when it comes to groom's family's perceived obligation.

Calling customs X-ist as earlier posts did is noise IMO. Customs just are, until they aren't, or you follow them or not. And others are often less interested in the speaker's claim to moral superiority via proclaiming things 'ist' than the speaker imagines.
Yep, nothing sexist about one side having most of the obligations...
Again, if it makes you feel superior to proclaim yourself free of 'ism', go for it. But customs just are, or not.
sailaway
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by sailaway »

JackoC wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 10:21 am
sailaway wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 10:08 am
JackoC wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 9:30 am
oldfatguy wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 8:09 am
MrCheapo wrote: Thu May 13, 2021 9:43 pm
Is it the standard case in this country that the BRIDE's father picks up the tab for the entire wedding but the GROOM's father picks up the bar tab.
No, there is nothing standard. It varies tremendously by location, ethnicity, age, socioeconomic class, religion, etc.
'Standard' traditions and customs are less 'standard' nowadays generally in US society, I'd agree that far. But, the one that bride's family is principally responsible for paying for a wedding is still standard enough to keep in mind IMO if a parent of daughter(s) wondering what you're likely to feel social pressure to do, if you do not come from a particular national, ethnic etc. subculture where you already know your group's custom is something else, or travel in social circles of 'mainstream' people who are reflexively anti-traditional (some social circles are, others aren't). Not that anyone, even in the more tradition-oriented past, absolutely *had* to follow social conventions, there were always people who bucked them. But the idea that 'bride's family pays' has no implication for one's budget for weddings depending on the sex of their children is IMO not necessarily 100% realistic even nowadays.

Customs of groom's family paying for particular items, one version I know is they pay for the 'rehearsal dinner', a previous post said bar tab at the wedding reception, is more recent and fluid. I'd agree it's closer to 'no standard' when it comes to groom's family's perceived obligation.

Calling customs X-ist as earlier posts did is noise IMO. Customs just are, until they aren't, or you follow them or not. And others are often less interested in the speaker's claim to moral superiority via proclaiming things 'ist' than the speaker imagines.
Yep, nothing sexist about one side having most of the obligations...
Again, if it makes you feel superior to proclaim yourself free of 'ism', go for it. But customs just are, or not.
Bull: customs are exactly why isms are so ingrained in our society. But clearly you are more interested in moral points than actual social forces.
JackoC
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by JackoC »

oldfatguy wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 10:20 am
JackoC wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 9:30 am
'Standard' traditions and customs are less 'standard' nowadays generally in US society, I'd agree that far. But, the one that bride's family is principally responsible for paying for a wedding is still standard enough to keep in mind IMO if a parent of daughter(s) wondering what you're likely to feel social pressure to do, if you do not come from a particular national, ethnic etc. subculture where you already know your group's custom is something else, or travel in social circles of 'mainstream' people who are reflexively anti-traditional (some social circles are, others aren't). Not that anyone, even in the more tradition-oriented past, absolutely *had* to follow social conventions, there were always people who bucked them. But the idea that 'bride's family pays' has no implication for one's budget for weddings depending on the sex of their children is IMO not necessarily 100% realistic even nowadays.
Of course it is realistic. If my daughter decides to have a wedding someday, that's up to her and has absolutely nothing to do with me. I have no interest at all in contributing to the cost, any more than I would if she decided to buy a boat or go on vacation.
Like I said, some people bucked conventions back when they were stronger than now. From which it follows logically I wasn't saying *you* would necessarily feel the pressure of convention now. But in general I would stick which what I said 'not necessarily realistic' to assume this convention won't exert pressure if parent of young women. For example, one frugal member of a couple might assume they won't feel this obligation when the time comes (they may couch it as 'that's sexist!', or just a general 'I'm the boss of me!') but find their partner will have none of it when the time comes. That for example would be the case if I proudly proclaimed as you do. It's not gonna happen given my wife's traditional attitudes. :happy
JackoC
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by JackoC »

sailaway wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 10:25 am
JackoC wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 10:21 am
sailaway wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 10:08 am
JackoC wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 9:30 am
oldfatguy wrote: Fri May 14, 2021 8:09 am

No, there is nothing standard. It varies tremendously by location, ethnicity, age, socioeconomic class, religion, etc.
'Standard' traditions and customs are less 'standard' nowadays generally in US society, I'd agree that far. But, the one that bride's family is principally responsible for paying for a wedding is still standard enough to keep in mind IMO if a parent of daughter(s) wondering what you're likely to feel social pressure to do, if you do not come from a particular national, ethnic etc. subculture where you already know your group's custom is something else, or travel in social circles of 'mainstream' people who are reflexively anti-traditional (some social circles are, others aren't). Not that anyone, even in the more tradition-oriented past, absolutely *had* to follow social conventions, there were always people who bucked them. But the idea that 'bride's family pays' has no implication for one's budget for weddings depending on the sex of their children is IMO not necessarily 100% realistic even nowadays.

Customs of groom's family paying for particular items, one version I know is they pay for the 'rehearsal dinner', a previous post said bar tab at the wedding reception, is more recent and fluid. I'd agree it's closer to 'no standard' when it comes to groom's family's perceived obligation.

Calling customs X-ist as earlier posts did is noise IMO. Customs just are, until they aren't, or you follow them or not. And others are often less interested in the speaker's claim to moral superiority via proclaiming things 'ist' than the speaker imagines.
Yep, nothing sexist about one side having most of the obligations...
Again, if it makes you feel superior to proclaim yourself free of 'ism', go for it. But customs just are, or not.
Bull: customs are exactly why isms are so ingrained in our society. But clearly you are more interested in moral points than actual social forces.
Crusade onward, brother/sister! :happy
Broken Man 1999
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by Broken Man 1999 »

FWIW, I did offer each daughter $20,000 to elope, they didn’t bite.

Three things delighted the guests:

- both featured open bar with beer, wine, and spirits. Start until end.
- the food at both weddings was excellent. We used well-established caterers, got scads of complements.
- one wedding featured Cuban food and a cigar roller.

It was a hoot seeing so many of the female guests smoking stogies. After all, the wedding was in Tampa, one time a major producer of hand rolled cigars.

As it turned out, my father passed soon after the last wedding. That meant so much to his granddaughters, indeed to all our family, having one last family gathering with him present.

Some of the best dollars DW and I ever spent.

Broken Man 1999
“If I cannot drink Bourbon and smoke cigars in Heaven then I shall not go." - Mark Twain
namajones
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by namajones »

59Gibson wrote: Thu May 13, 2021 8:13 am Wife and I spent less than $2k, including rings, clothes,etc..+ 8 guests at local restaurant after short ceremony.
I'm in this camp--and evidently way out of the mainstream. Target expenditure would be $0. Up to $2K would be okay if we had to accommodate a bunch of people. However, there are meaningful ways to have a wedding with next to no expenditure.
theplayer11
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by theplayer11 »

People are getting married later in life than people did in the past. This is the main reason the bride's father paying is slowly fading out IMO.
ACN
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by ACN »

Family member wedding in Chicago suburbs few years ago. Standard banquet hall, nothing fancy, was $100/plate. 300 guests, so $30k immediately just for reception. Another 10-15k for everything else.

My wife and I did destination wedding out of the country. Invited 100, about 65 came. Cost us about $16k for a week vacation with a wedding. Guests who came for the entire week was about $1200/couple. About 6-800 for four days. All inclusive, flights included. We also said no gifts.
biscuits
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by biscuits »

Impatience wrote: Wed May 12, 2021 6:21 pm
supalong52 wrote: Wed May 12, 2021 5:59 pm
Impatience wrote: Wed May 12, 2021 5:57 pm My plan is to use an Airbnb to save significantly on venue fees and ignore a lot of traditional “wedding stuff”. Especially anything marketed to weddings specifically. As long as there’s good food, decent booze, and lots of music, that’s enough for us.
Most Airbnbs that I have seen prohibit parties. Have you found one that will accommodate a wedding?
I figure I’ll just message the owners of a few likely ones and offer a hefty deposit and/or extra cleaning fees. There’s a ton of mansions up for rent in Arizona that have 8+ bedrooms, it’s hard to imagine they aren’t open to holding some kind of event as long as we’re vetted ahead of time and make it worth their while. It should still be cheaper than a formal venue.
I recommend checking the local short-term rental laws as well. I own a short-term rental condo in the Southwest US, and our city STR licensure limits gatherings to twice the number of guests the unit is licensed for, which depends on the number of bedrooms and number of dedicated parking spaces. So, an eight-bedroom mansion would be licensed for 16 guests if the place had 8 off-street parking spaces, and a gathering could not exceed 32 people. You sure wouldn't want to find out the day of your wedding that the size of your gathering exceeded what the local law allows--even if your Abnb host allowed it. Good luck!
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sunny_socal
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by sunny_socal »

Broken Man 1999 wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 4:06 pm FWIW, I did offer each daughter $20,000 to elope, they didn’t bite.

Three things delighted the guests:

- both featured open bar with beer, wine, and spirits. Start until end.
- the food at both weddings was excellent. We used well-established caterers, got scads of complements.
- one wedding featured Cuban food and a cigar roller.

It was a hoot seeing so many of the female guests smoking stogies. After all, the wedding was in Tampa, one time a major producer of hand rolled cigars.

As it turned out, my father passed soon after the last wedding. That meant so much to his granddaughters, indeed to all our family, having one last family gathering with him present.

Some of the best dollars DW and I ever spent.

Broken Man 1999
That sounds amazing! :sharebeer

Funny reading about all the "isms." So while yes it's true that these days traditions may be challenged, it's still a reality that many women will want a traditional wedding. There's a reason that "Bride" magazine exists, it's filled cover to cover with fantasy wedding ideas. That bride will likely try to get her parents to pay for her party.

What gets spent in the USA surely pales compared to what is budgeted for a wedding in India.
SQRT
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by SQRT »

For 100 people in a HCOL city a very nice wedding maybe around $30k? But as the OP says it really depends on a number of factors. Open bar? Type of meal? Rehearsal dinner/party? Special travel arrangements? Venue? Can obviously be done for much less, but I don’t think that was the point of the OP’s question.

Paid for my daughter’s wedding 6 years ago. Very deluxe, no skimping, 175 people at a private club. Over $100k. Not saying it was a worthwhile expenditure, but I promised her when she was young that she could do this. Offered her the money instead but she turned it down. I don’t think she has any regrets. Was a fabulous wedding. Best one I’ve ever been to.
stoptothink
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by stoptothink »

sunny_socal wrote: Sun May 16, 2021 6:42 amWhat gets spent in the USA surely pales compared to what is budgeted for a wedding in India.
https://www.theknot.com/content/how-muc ... 20a%20year.) Nope, and this is only for "educated" couples. Those extravagant multi-day celebrations are not the norm, only for the upper strata of society.
Broken Man 1999
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by Broken Man 1999 »

sunny_socal wrote: Sun May 16, 2021 6:42 am
Broken Man 1999 wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 4:06 pm FWIW, I did offer each daughter $20,000 to elope, they didn’t bite.

Three things delighted the guests:

- both featured open bar with beer, wine, and spirits. Start until end.
- the food at both weddings was excellent. We used well-established caterers, got scads of complements.
- one wedding featured Cuban food and a cigar roller.

It was a hoot seeing so many of the female guests smoking stogies. After all, the wedding was in Tampa, one time a major producer of hand rolled cigars.

As it turned out, my father passed soon after the last wedding. That meant so much to his granddaughters, indeed to all our family, having one last family gathering with him present.

Some of the best dollars DW and I ever spent.

Broken Man 1999
That sounds amazing! :sharebeer

Funny reading about all the "isms." So while yes it's true that these days traditions may be challenged, it's still a reality that many women will want a traditional wedding. There's a reason that "Bride" magazine exists, it's filled cover to cover with fantasy wedding ideas. That bride will likely try to get her parents to pay for her party.

What gets spent in the USA surely pales compared to what is budgeted for a wedding in India.
My PCP is from India. DW received a call a couple of days ago from his wife concerning one of their daughters getting married. We are invited to attend. The wedding won't be in India, it will be in Orlando.

If the event is anything like a birthday celebration we attended for one of their daughters it will be a blowout. The celebration was huge, largest private party we have ever attended. I'm looking forward to it.

Broken Man 1999
“If I cannot drink Bourbon and smoke cigars in Heaven then I shall not go." - Mark Twain
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mmmodem
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by mmmodem »

Just our data point. Our wedding 10 years ago was $100 a head or $10,000 in San Francisco Bay Area. Read high cost of living area. We had an open bar but no hard liquor. The inflation calculator says this would be $122 a head today.
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TomatoTomahto
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by TomatoTomahto »

theplayer11 wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 5:14 pm People are getting married later in life than people did in the past. This is the main reason the bride's father paying is slowly fading out IMO.
I hadn’t considered that connection, but it’s one that holds water. Whether it’s the intention or not, paying for things tends to have strings attached (if you don’t believe this, read any of the “paying for college” threads). As the kids get older before getting married, they have more money of their own and have been independent for longer.

I can’t say that it’s a trend I am disappointed in. I hope that it makes for more durable marriages.
I get the FI part but not the RE part of FIRE.
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by Broken Man 1999 »

TomatoTomahto wrote: Sun May 16, 2021 9:46 am
theplayer11 wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 5:14 pm People are getting married later in life than people did in the past. This is the main reason the bride's father paying is slowly fading out IMO.
I hadn’t considered that connection, but it’s one that holds water. Whether it’s the intention or not, paying for things tends to have strings attached (if you don’t believe this, read any of the “paying for college” threads). As the kids get older before getting married, they have more money of their own and have been independent for longer.

I can’t say that it’s a trend I am disappointed in. I hope that it makes for more durable marriages.
Not only later in life, but there is divergence in marriage rates and income level. More dollars to spend on weddings, as college educated couples often have college educated parents, with higher incomes.

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2 ... us-widens/

When many boomers were first marrying, there wasn't near the amount of difference by income level. Poorer people (like
DW and I) got married at about the same rates as those earning higher income. Now, apparently not as much.

And, no surprise, a college educated married couple zoom miles ahead in income. And so it goes. Educated parents educate their offspring, rinse, repeat.

Broken Man 1999
“If I cannot drink Bourbon and smoke cigars in Heaven then I shall not go." - Mark Twain
nigel_ht
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by nigel_ht »

Broken Man 1999 wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 4:06 pm
As it turned out, my father passed soon after the last wedding. That meant so much to his granddaughters, indeed to all our family, having one last family gathering with him present.

Some of the best dollars DW and I ever spent.

Broken Man 1999
I spent a bundle on my mom’s birthday. It turned out to be her last and it was also the last time I saw some of the relatives (they passed too).

Yep, some of the best dollars I ever spent.

Some spendy events aren’t just frivolous consumption.
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by Point »

I gave each of my girls a 16k budget for everything.They made choices, trade offs, and sought bargains. They figured it out and had great weddings. Welcome to life!
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by RadAudit »

How much do a couple of candy dishes full of after dinner mints and a punch bowl of ginger ale / fruit punch in the church social hall cost in your area cost?
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by nigel_ht »

stoptothink wrote: Sun May 16, 2021 8:14 am
sunny_socal wrote: Sun May 16, 2021 6:42 amWhat gets spent in the USA surely pales compared to what is budgeted for a wedding in India.
https://www.theknot.com/content/how-muc ... 20a%20year.) Nope, and this is only for "educated" couples. Those extravagant multi-day celebrations are not the norm, only for the upper strata of society.
Ah what?

“India edges out every country by far with its average guest count, which is about 524 people per wedding.”

From another source:

“ A person in India is estimated to spend one-fifth of the total wealth accumulated in his lifetime on his wedding.”

https://www.reliancemoney.co.in/getting ... dding-cost

Woah. Granted that article is like diamond propaganda saying the engagement ring should be 2 months income or something.
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by Broken Man 1999 »

nigel_ht wrote: Sun May 16, 2021 11:06 am
stoptothink wrote: Sun May 16, 2021 8:14 am
sunny_socal wrote: Sun May 16, 2021 6:42 amWhat gets spent in the USA surely pales compared to what is budgeted for a wedding in India.
https://www.theknot.com/content/how-muc ... 20a%20year.) Nope, and this is only for "educated" couples. Those extravagant multi-day celebrations are not the norm, only for the upper strata of society.
Ah what?

“India edges out every country by far with its average guest count, which is about 524 people per wedding.”

From another source:

“ A person in India is estimated to spend one-fifth of the total wealth accumulated in his lifetime on his wedding.”

https://www.reliancemoney.co.in/getting ... dding-cost

Woah. Granted that article is like diamond propaganda saying the engagement ring should be 2 months income or something.
According to DW's conversation with my doctor's wife, the guest list is 400, might be pared down because of covid in India. Wedding is next year, but who knows where country will be health-wise next year?

Broken Man 1999
“If I cannot drink Bourbon and smoke cigars in Heaven then I shall not go." - Mark Twain
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by Petrocelli »

I have $100,000 set aside for my daughter's wedding, so that's how much I have budgeted.
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daave
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Re: How much would you budget for a typical wedding?

Post by daave »

I still have the budget spreadsheet from my 2014 wedding in Seattle. It was a huge guest list (160 adults + 35 kids). Grand total came out to $40k. Worth every penny. Here's the itemization:

Invitations (including design, mailing, website): $400
Bridal party (dress, suit, alterations, shoes, hair, gifts for groomsmen/bridesmaids): $6,000
Wedding (church fee, celebrant, organist, photographer, wedding rings): $6,500
Reception (venue fee, caterer, alcohol, furniture, decorations, band, childcare, cleaning): $20,000
Transport/Accommodation (we were living in a different city at the time, chose to pay for a few key people to attend as well, hired a private tour-bus to show out-of-town guests the sights and shuttle them between the reception & hotel): $3,500
Honeymoon: $3,000
Misc (legal paperwork, dance lessons, marriage-prep class): $1,000
Total: $40,400

Considering the number of guests, I think this was a steal. A fair bit of it was DIY, e.g. we rented a nice venue and individually booked the caterer, furniture rental, bartenders, etc. a friend arranged flowers (fresh from Pike Place Market), wine was form Trader Joe's, beer from a local brewery, and so on.. compared to an all-inclusive venue it probably cut the cost by at least 50%.

(Edit: had listed the invite size, not final attendee count, big difference!)
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