What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

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catfish48084
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What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by catfish48084 »

So I'm thinking 12/31/2021 is the end of the line for me. I've been preparing for this day for a long time, and although nothing is certain I think economically its a safe time. That said, its still has its moments and thoughts of doubt.

I'm 60 now, and but for brief moments in my teens, I've been steadily employed since age 12. I've given it my best for many years, and I'm just running out of everything - interest in what I'm doing, energy and motivation to push thru the challenges, patience to deal with the aggravations, etc. It's time. But concerning is that I don't know what its like to not have a job to occupy a significant portion of my waking hours. Nor do I know what its like to be without an identity related to who I am at work and the contributions I make, which have provided a sense of accomplishment for many years.

So retiring is letting go of some economic security, and also letting go of a part of who I am. On the latter issue, I've spent the last 8 months putting in motion the realization of a lifelong dream - we bought the retirement home on the lake, and in the next couple months the dock, boat hoist, and grade-A fishing boat will all materialize. So I do have one huge hobby / source of enjoyment that certainly grow into a new identity I can be quite satisfied with

As well as I think I've planned and thought things thru, you don't know what you don't know. For you retirees out there, what are some of the things you didn't anticipate going into retirement that you learned after, and perhaps had regrets wishing you had approached differently? Although I haven't made the date official, I've put feelers out within my business unit that I have thought about a reduced role (fewer hours/days of work) as being appealing, but with the nature of what I do I don't know how that could actually work being available less than 5 days full time
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by Golf maniac »

I retired at 56, a little over 5 years ago. It was the best decision I ever made! Think of this time as a chance to explore and find what you are passionate about. For the first 3 months I would wake up and could not stop smiling. It took me about a year to develop my schedule. It involved volunteering at places I am passionate about, golfing (of course), working out, and now I am big into biking.

It is really about how your approach this wonderful new part of your life. From a financial standpoint we have a budget that we pretty much stay in line with the numbers. The one exception has been travel. We underestimated the cost by about 30%. When we get older travel may slow down but right now we are really enjoying our retirement. Best of luck on your journey.

Also, I had offers to do consulting, but after about a year I didn’t want to screw up my schedule so it was easy to turn them down.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by TravelforFun »

I'm in second year of my retirement and absolutely have no regrets. Nothing beats freedom.

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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by chuckb84 »

I retired at 60.5 and I have no regrets. One thing that I "knew" in the abstract, but not in terms of hard, cold reality, is that my excellent health was a thing that wouldn't last forever. In fact, I'm going through some very serious health issues at age 66, so I am very, very thankful that I had over 5 years of health almost indistinguishable from how I felt in my 40's. I was able to be very active: hiking, cycling, camping, learned to ride a motorcycle, etc.

I may be able to work through some/most of my health issues, but it is uncertain. We discuss risk in so many ways on this forum, but the risk of being able to continue to enjoy life as you always have may be the biggest risk of all. I've also learned that I can adapt, and change the things I enjoy doing and find happiness that way. Some of this has been imposed on me, but it has also made me reexamine how I find satisfaction in life.

So, it isn't just time in retirement, it's how well you are able to take advantage of the time.

Sometimes I mildly regret that I don't have the ability to influence things in my field, but I am largely content to look back at what I did in my career with satisfaction. It's a new phase of life, and I do some volunteer work, contribute to charities and fundraisers, and that is most of how I participate in society outside my own life and circle of friends.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by Exchme »

Everyone is different, I've met people that couldn't stay retired and went back to work years later. One "retread" went back to work after a 20 year hiatus - he was still better than anyone else on the team at the ripe young age of 75 and he worked for another 8 or so years to keep from being bored. But if you are feeling tired of work, your body and mind are telling you that it's time to pull the plug, step back and relax. Life does not have to be full of super-exciting events or great challenges to be enjoyable.

I retired a couple months ago and most days are just spent puttering about, though we do make an effort to talk a walk every day. Every couple of weeks we go see some sight and once a month go visit the kids for a few days. I'm exercising more and enjoying the lack of stress. Started learning Spanish just for fun.

You will find your own interests and rhythms and soon enough will wonder how you ever managed to fit work into your day.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by Dave55 »

None.

Dave
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by nisiprius »

Eight years in, none.

And I liked my work.

I'll say this, though. Before retiring I thought it would be like George's daydream in Of Mice and Men:
George said wonderingly, “S’pose they was a carnival or a circus come to town, or a ball game, or any damn thing.” Old Candy nodded in appreciation of the idea. “We’d just go to her,” George said. “We wouldn’t ask nobody if we could. Jus’ say, ‘We’ll go to her,’ an’ we would. Jus’ milk the cow and sling some grain to the chickens an’ go to her.”
I've been surprised at how quickly our calendar does get filled up, and it's actually not that easy to just sling some grain to the chickens an' go to her. Anything biggish needs to be marked off in advance, and kept clear of dentist appointments or taking the grandkids for a week or anything like that.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by Watty »

catfish48084 wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:04 pm I'm 60 now....
Making the transition to retirement can be daunting but one thing to realize is that you will face it sooner or later unless you die younger than expected.

For most people it is only a question of when you will go through that transition not if you will.

For example if you decide to push your retirement date out until you turn 65 then your finances may be a bit better but all the other issues about "what do I do when I grow up?" will still be the same.

I have seen relatives naturally slow down but the time they were in their 70s even though they were relatively good health for their ages. I plan(more like hope) to have lots of enjoyable years beyond that but realistically if you are 60 now you may only have about 15 of the "good retirement years" left and you cannot even count on those. Working a few more years can use up a big chunk of those few good early retirement years.

One year when I was going through my 50s I went to three funerals of people that were about my age. I was not real close with any of them but it goes get you thinking. I retired as soon I financially could just before I turned 59.

The odds of both you and your spouse being alive and healthy in 15 is not all that good.
catfish48084 wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:04 pm For you retirees out there, what are some of the things you didn't anticipate going into retirement that you learned after, and perhaps had regrets wishing you had approached differently?
When I gave my two weeks notice that I was going to retire I considered if I wanted to contract back part time. Everything went fine but by the end of those two weeks I was so ready to be out of there I was really glad I was making a clean break and not contracting back.

For a while I met some of my old coworkers for lunch a couple of times a year. After the first couple of lunches it became clear that we were really just acquaintances and not really friends. That was no surprise but be had so little in common that the lunches quickly tapered off since we had so little in common and now I just exchange emails with a few people once or twice a year. I also found that I did not really care much about what is going on with the business in my old office.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by Steve747 »

.....
Last edited by Steve747 on Fri Apr 23, 2021 5:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by UpperNwGuy »

I retired eight years ago, and I regret nothing. I worked part-time through both high school and college, and then for a full career in a series of high stress jobs. Work was my life, but now I've moved on to the next phase of life. Never look back!
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by SQRT »

It’s a very personal thing. To a large extent it will depend on your personality and the type of job or career you have. I retired at 56 about 15 years ago. I had a very stressful, C suite position at a very large company. I also just ran out of gas. It took me about 3 years to develop/train my successor and extricate myself. My retirement date was pushed back twice. When I finally left I was really ready to go.

Once retired I had to reassess who I was. No longer a nationally known executive with “people” to do my mundane things, it took me about 3 years of retirement to get comfortable in my “new skin”. I basically started over- moved across the country, bought 2 new vacation places, met new friends, took up new things (biking and skiing), lost weight and exercised more, travelled to exotic places taking my family and friends along. Volunteered.

Regrets,” I have a few but too few to mention”. I now regret being so ready to leave. I could have gone out in a better way I think. In retrospect it was a fabulous job. Having said that, a few years one way or the other wouldn’t have made much difference. I sometimes regret how I treated some people or things I did when I was the “big boss”. I’ve had lots of time to reflect, but feel pretty good about how things have worked out. Pretty hard to complain given the very strong markets. My health has been exceptional.

Some advice? When it’s time to go, it’s time to go. Ignore people who say it’s easy. Don’t be afraid of reinventing yourself. Retirement is a bit of a chance for a partial “do over”. Embrace it. Do everything you can to stay healthy. Make sure you have enough money and then don’t hesitate to spend it. Good luck.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by Svensk Anga »

That I didn’t retire two years sooner when I first seriously considered it. :)

DW wasn’t ready to call it quits on her career and I decided if she was still working, I might as well too. The extra time enlarged the nest egg, but we shouldn’t need the extra.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by JoeRetire »

catfish48084 wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:04 pmFor you retirees out there, what are some of the things you didn't anticipate going into retirement that you learned after, and perhaps had regrets wishing you had approached differently?
I retired at 60.

What I didn't realize was how easy it is to fill your day with things you want to do once you get settled in. Sometimes there just aren't enough hours in the day.

No regrets.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by AlohaJoe »

I wouldn't say I regret it. But there are some things that work provides that are hard, or even impossible, to get outside of work. Obviously not all of these apply to all jobs (c.f. David Graber's Bullshit Jobs theory) or all people. But some of the ones I've seen:

Challenging intellectual problems. Even if you're involved in board of director work (which few retirees can claim), it usually isn't really the same. You're just not going to be involved in anything remotely like, say, SpaceX once you're retired.

Making an impact on lots of other people. Like thousands, tens of thousands, or even millions. Volunteering for a few hours a week with a local community thing just doesn't have the same scope of impact.

Easy source of social interactions. If you run into a stranger that works in the same company, there's just a lot easy built-in small talk. This seems to affect men more than women; men often let their non-work relationships wither and let their social skills get rusty, relying on their wives to do the heavy lifting here.

A source of social status. There's just no getting around it that in most of the world saying "I own my own company" or "I'm a rocket scientist" gets you a better reaction than "I'm retired". Some people struggle with the adjustment.

A lot of people seem to really struggle to answer questions like "What do you do?" when they meet a stranger somewhere. This seems to be a bigger factor the younger you are when you retire. Look at early retirement forums for hundreds of people who agonize over this and come up with entire elaborate lies about how they are "consultants" and "manage investments".

There can be disappointment in the first few months of retirement when you make astonishingly little progress on your big To Do After Retirement List. You suddenly discover that "being too busy at work" wasn't the real reason you weren't going to the gym very much.

Likewise, a surprising number of people put things on their To Do After Retirement List that they think they'll love but never even tried before retirement. Turns out they actually hate being a digital nomad or RVer or gardening 5 hours a day or backpacking across Europe or whatever.

Being on a different "schedule" from your friends and social group can be challenging. You have all the time in the world, don't have a full calendar, etc, etc so you suddenly call up Jill and Jim and say "How about dinner tonight!" and they reply with "Well, we really need to schedule things 2 weeks in advance, got work tomorrow so can't go out very late, too tired and just got home, brain fried from so many meetings, really need to finish that small project around the house tonight ... how about Friday night three weeks from now?"

Figuring out how to create space from your spouse and have your own rhythms can present a challenge. Most people find it a bit awkward, at least at first, to say "I'm going to a coffee shop for a few hours; you're not really invited, I just kinda want to sit by myself." Many people realize the commute to work was the only "alone" time they ever got and suddenly they don't have that and kinda crave it.
Last edited by AlohaJoe on Wed Apr 21, 2021 7:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by radiowave »

OP, I'm on the cusp of retirement at the end of May but want to give some perspective about the transition period. I met with my "boss" in Feb and let him know I was retiring in a few month. So there was a period where he and I knew but no one else and that was liberating. I've been in a professional healthcare profession for over 40 years and now I had an expiration date. I announced to my immediate team last week so everyone know I'm leaving and I moved from a pensive mode to now feeling irrelevant. The end of May I know I will be moving to obscurity, maybe keeping up with some colleagues but turning the page to my retirement chapter. I don't have any regrets and feel satisfied I have a long and very interesting career pathway. But it's time to go.

I have a list that I've been working on for a few weeks, my old roundtuit list that now is operationalized. I'll let you know how things go in June-July.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by curmudgeon »

It's been four years, and I still occasionally miss the challenges and intellectual stimulation of my work. Not enough to make me seriously consider going back, though. Spending so much more time with my spouse does create some strains; we have somewhat different daily styles, and so we find the need for some "apart time" sometimes. The flexibility to travel as often and as long as we want has been the big plus.

For me, the decision to retire was not strongly driven; I could have easily been content working a few more years. After weighing the factors important to me, eventually the balance came over to the "retire" side, and that's when I did it. After four years, it still feels like the right decision.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by jebmke »

catfish48084 wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:04 pm So I do have one huge hobby / source of enjoyment that certainly grow into a new identity I can be quite satisfied with
My advice is to not get too focused on one thing. For a variety of good reasons, the activities I thought we would spend the most time on in retirement are barely on the radar screen.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by CZjc1330 »

Well, I guess I am the exception.
Retired at 71, 15 years ago. Very dissatisfied from day one.
I was tired, burned out, etc. Should have taken 6 mos off without pay.
Recharged and returned.

Would go back tomorrow, even today if I could.
Have been bored for 15 years. Never was while working - frustrated yes but never bored.
Tried to fill the time. Volunteered, charities, courses at local college, read hundreds of books - some old chestnuts I crammed to get a good grade, but now for insight. That was okay for five years but once again. Got bored.

Hope this, and comments by others, help.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by spammagnet »

I quit my career job a few years ago to go contracting intermittently and haven't worked since early 2020. I was effectively retired by COVID.

My only regret is that I sort of drifted into total retirement and never had a clean break. DW retires in a few weeks on a specific date so, when we're both retired, I think it will feel more final.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by willthrill81 »

It seems that the overwhelming majority of retirees have no regrets. My father has been retired for two years now and says that he's very thankful that he retired when he did (being that he was a hospital pharmacist).

There is probably some self-selection at work here. Those who enjoy their work so much that they don't want to retire likely won't, and the rest are likely to enjoy retirement more than their work.

Of course, over 50% of retirees in general appear to have retired for largely involuntary reasons, mainly for health reasons, whether their own or a family member's, or as the result of a layoff. I suspect that a decent number of them might wish that they could return to work for the stimulation, money, or both.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by cowdogman »

In answer to your question: None.

I retired at 55. I'm now 61. I find myself thinking somewhat frequently "Should I have hung on longer?" The answer is fortunately always "no." Don't be surprised if you ask yourself the same question going forward--a lot. That's natural and normal.

I have however continued to work part time as a consultant for the people I liked when I was working full-time. I don't network or try to develop business and I work only with people I already know. If I get call for work I'm happy and if I don't get called for work I'm happy. In 2020 I had very little work, but things have picked up this year. Personally I have found this the best approach to retiring, especially since I know the amount of work will slowly drop off to nothing, which is good. Business failure is my business plan.

I also have a lot of things I like to do that are for the most part free and easily accessible--run/walk/exercise, hang out with my dog, work in the yard, read--and so I'm generally not bored.

If you go from a full time job to no work and you can't fill your time with things you enjoy, you may (I'm sorry to say) have regrets.

Good luck.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by TheTimeLord »

So far retirement has been basically been a net negative for me. Not to say it is bad but I don't find it very stimulating. A lot of the things I want to do require playmates and most of those are younger and years away from retirement. I had hoped to do some buddies trips but differences in budgets have made those challenging to even try to play. Maybe as Covid subsides things will change but so far retirement the second time isn't much different than the first except I have more money. I think if you are good at being self entertained you will be fine.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by zero sum guy »

The company made an offer that I could not refuse and I retired at age 63. I have a nice amount of retirement savings in IRAs and a 401Ks, safely invested in low cost index funds, and ETFs at Vanguard. Took SS at 66, my normal retirement age.
My biggest regret is not having a hobby and only one weekly volunteer stint in packaging lunch meals for the homeless and homebound. With the lockdown in NYC, the volunteer stint proved too dangerous without a COVID vaccination last year, and the cancelation of music concerts and Broadway plays but with the Pfizer shots, I will be going back to both soon.
My advice, getting a hobby, reading books, listening to music, taking long walks especially in parks, and getting weekly volunteer jobs.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by 7eight9 »

My job ended 1Q19 (company sold - stayed for the severance package). My wife wanted to work until the end of 2019 so she would have 40 quarters of earnings. I figured I would find a similar job for a while. Then we would move abroad. Fast forward to today. Due to the panademic we are persona non grata. I've given up looking for a job so I guess I'm retired. My wife is still working until the travel restrictions are lifted. Would I rather be working? Yes. Moving abroad would give us the opportunity to explore a new city (Bangkok, Saigon, etc.) or relax at the beach (Khao Lak, Da Nang, etc.). Sitting here in Las Vegas? Bored to tears. The highlight of my day is when I can go back to sleep.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by David Jay »

JoeRetire wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 7:29 pmI retired at 60.

What I didn't realize was how easy it is to fill your day with things you want to do once you get settled in. Sometimes there just aren't enough hours in the day.

No regrets.
62 for me. Same deal, I can hardly find time to fit in a round of golf every week...
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by victw »

Golf maniac wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:14 pm
It is really about how your approach this wonderful new part of your life. From a financial standpoint we have a budget that we pretty much stay in line with the numbers. The one exception has been travel. We underestimated the cost by about 30%. When we get older travel may slow down but right now we are really enjoying our retirement. Best of luck on your journey.

Also, I had offers to do consulting, but after about a year I didn’t want to screw up my schedule so it was easy to turn them down.
Wondering what increased the travel budget. More time on the road? More expensive trips?

We are planning to do a lot of travel.

Vic
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by ipdiddly »

Only regret is not retiring two or three years earlier. There are no bonus points for working longer.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by HanSolo »

AlohaJoe wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 7:30 pm I wouldn't say I regret it. But there are some things that work provides that are hard, or even impossible, to get outside of work. (snip)
I too haven't had regrets, but I'm facing some of the challenges of the situation. AlohaJoe touched on many of the practical realities that I've experienced and/or seen others experience. In short, there can be some difficulty around loss of relevance and/or loss of people-connection.

"Epidemic of isolation" was a thing even before the pandemic, and this can be an issue, most especially if one is retired, and single, and doesn't otherwise have a social circle or support system that keeps them plugged in to society... or even notices if they're alive or dead. And I'm not talking about "facebook friends" (as Roger Daltrey said, "your real friends are the ones by your side").

The OP said "we", so I'm assuming there's a spouse involved, which is generally a great advantage. At least you're not totally alone. But if the spouse is 100% of one's people-connection, then that still might not be the healthiest situation.

The Atlantic ran a piece that illustrates the problem of loss of relevance, and why that might be even harder for people coming out of more prominent positions. It offers ideas on how to make the transition to a different phase of life, so that it doesn't wind up seeming empty.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/ar ... ne/590650/

The 2015 film "The Intern" touched on this issue... in a Hollywood kind of way.

OK, so I've been posting on Bogleheads quite a bit lately... I need to go get a life away from the screen.
Last edited by HanSolo on Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by surfstar »

AlohaJoe wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 7:30 pm A source of social status. There's just no getting around it that in most of the world saying "I own my own company" or "I'm a rocket scientist" gets you a better reaction than "I'm retired". Some people struggle with the adjustment.

A lot of people seem to really struggle to answer questions like "What do you do?" when they meet a stranger somewhere. This seems to be a bigger factor the younger you are when you retire. Look at early retirement forums for hundreds of people who agonize over this and come up with entire elaborate lies about how they are "consultants" and "manage investments".
1. Odd. Currently in my employed years whenever someone says "I'm retired", all I can say/think is "I hope to be that someday [soon]"
2. Once we FIRE, "What do you do?" will be answered "whatever we want". Surf, dive, camp, hike, climb, backpack, travel, explore, visit friends and family, learn a new hobby, and on and on. That sounds so much more interesting than sitting in a cube, growing old. As the kids say: YOLO

Sounds like we have quite the different social circle.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by HanSolo »

surfstar wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:33 pm
AlohaJoe wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 7:30 pm A source of social status. There's just no getting around it that in most of the world saying "I own my own company" or "I'm a rocket scientist" gets you a better reaction than "I'm retired". Some people struggle with the adjustment.

A lot of people seem to really struggle to answer questions like "What do you do?" when they meet a stranger somewhere. This seems to be a bigger factor the younger you are when you retire. Look at early retirement forums for hundreds of people who agonize over this and come up with entire elaborate lies about how they are "consultants" and "manage investments".
1. Odd. Currently in my employed years whenever someone says "I'm retired", all I can say/think is "I hope to be that someday [soon]"
2. Once we FIRE, "What do you do?" will be answered "whatever we want". Surf, dive, camp, hike, climb, backpack, travel, explore, visit friends and family, learn a new hobby, and on and on. That sounds so much more interesting than sitting in a cube, growing old. As the kids say: YOLO

Sounds like we have quite the different social circle.
You do now. Things may look different when you get there. They may not. Different people have different strengths and weaknesses, and therefore have different issues. I applaud your optimistic vision. At the same time, I think it's worthwhile to be aware of the diversity of outcomes at that stage of life, and to learn about the life experiences of people who are ahead of you on the path.

I think the article I linked (in The Atlantic) is informative.

Just my two cents.
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SQRT
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by SQRT »

HanSolo wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:29 pm

The Atlantic ran a piece that illustrates the problem of loss of relevance, and why that might be even harder for people coming out of more prominent positions. It offers ideas on how to make the transition to a different phase of life, so that it doesn't wind up seeming empty.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/ar ... ne/590650/
Very useful, interesting article. Thanks for posting. I can especially identify with the goal of developing and maintaining social connections. My spouse and I make a conscious effort to keep contact with our friends. Many of these are friends we have developed since retirement through themed travel, volunteering, or other normal connections (hairstylist, masseur, etc). One potential risk of retirement, or getting older in general, is social isolation.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by JoeRetire »

CZjc1330 wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 8:06 pm Well, I guess I am the exception.
Retired at 71, 15 years ago. Very dissatisfied from day one.
I was tired, burned out, etc. Should have taken 6 mos off without pay.
Just curious - so if you were bored from day one, why didn't you find work once you recharged?

My wife enjoys part-time work after retiring.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by TheTimeLord »

ipdiddly wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:11 pm Only regret is not retiring two or three years earlier. There are no bonus points for working longer.
So you don't think having 3 years of extra expenses and subtracting 3 years of salary would have affected your retirement?
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by namajones »

catfish48084 wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:04 pm I'm 60 now, and but for brief moments in my teens, I've been steadily employed since age 12. I've given it my best for many years, and I'm just running out of everything - interest in what I'm doing, energy and motivation to push thru the challenges, patience to deal with the aggravations, etc. It's time.
I'm two years older than you, and this describes me almost perfectly. It's not unexpected to need a break from what you currently do--I call it a break because even in retirement, I presume you will be on to new things. So you won't stop.

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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by Wannaretireearly »

SQRT wrote: Thu Apr 22, 2021 3:29 am
HanSolo wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:29 pm

The Atlantic ran a piece that illustrates the problem of loss of relevance, and why that might be even harder for people coming out of more prominent positions. It offers ideas on how to make the transition to a different phase of life, so that it doesn't wind up seeming empty.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/ar ... ne/590650/
Very useful, interesting article. Thanks for posting. I can especially identify with the goal of developing and maintaining social connections. My spouse and I make a conscious effort to keep contact with our friends. Many of these are friends we have developed since retirement through themed travel, volunteering, or other normal connections (hairstylist, masseur, etc). One potential risk of retirement, or getting older in general, is social isolation.
+1 very good article. Makes me want to plan now for post retirement activities that are eulogy, not resume, building!
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by namajones »

chuckb84 wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:48 pm We discuss risk in so many ways on this forum, but the risk of being able to continue to enjoy life as you always have may be the biggest risk of all.
Well said.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by namajones »

Exchme wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:54 pm But if you are feeling tired of work, your body and mind are telling you that it's time to pull the plug, step back and relax.
Indeed, many people get to such points in their lives. Sometimes vacations help; sometimes they are insufficient.

It's unfortunate, I think, that more professions have not adopted the practice or perk--call it what you will--of sabbaticals. They serve two purposes: to give employees an extended (1-year, for example) break at a time when many need it, after years of service; and they allow institutions to retain talent and experience that will take years, again, to reacquire.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by Zosima »

HanSolo wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:29 pm
The Atlantic ran a piece that illustrates the problem of loss of relevance, and why that might be even harder for people coming out of more prominent positions. It offers ideas on how to make the transition to a different phase of life, so that it doesn't wind up seeming empty.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/ar ... ne/590650/
Wannaretireearly wrote: Thu Apr 22, 2021 6:27 am
Very useful, interesting article. Thanks for posting. I can especially identify with the goal of developing and maintaining social connections. My spouse and I make a conscious effort to keep contact with our friends. Many of these are friends we have developed since retirement through themed travel, volunteering, or other normal connections (hairstylist, masseur, etc). One potential risk of retirement, or getting older in general, is social isolation.

+1 very good article. Makes me want to plan now for post retirement activities that are eulogy, not resume, building!
HanSolo, I echo the sentiments above and thank you for sharing the article. It definitely resonates with me as I am wrestling with the "Jump" recommendation at the end of the article.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by tennisplyr »

Retired 10 years here and things have gone really well, thankfully. I thought I might be doing more volunteer work than I have but I still can...enjoying life too much. Financially things have be fine.
“Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things always work out.” -Retired 13 years 😀
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by vested1 »

catfish48084 wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:04 pm
I'm 60 now, and but for brief moments in my teens, I've been steadily employed since age 12.

I've spent the last 8 months putting in motion the realization of a lifelong dream - we bought the retirement home on the lake, and in the next couple months the dock, boat hoist, and grade-A fishing boat will all materialize. So I do have one huge hobby / source of enjoyment that certainly grow into a new identity I can be quite satisfied with

I've been retired for more than 5 years, turning 69 this year. The bolded text describes what we have in common. I can't relate with the rest, other than to say I felt unrelenting frustration for perhaps the last 10 years of employment. I was considered a star at what I did, but prestige only goes so far and doesn't always equate to tangible monetary rewards. I grew tired of giving everything and receiving very little other than praise as a reward.

For the first few years of retirement my wife and I cared for my MIL, my wife being the oldest (68 this year), and last to remain in the area. My MIL was in a rest home for the last 4 years of her life and died in 2018 at the age of 94. I took care of all of her affairs, before and after death, and my wife visited daily, for me about 1/2 of that. We had been searching for a lake retirement home for about 10 years in various states.

I would say that, although we were dedicated to being there for my MIL, we felt frustration at not being able to pursue our dreams in retirement. I was never bored or felt any sort of emotional loss at ending my career however. My wife felt the same way about her retirement 6 months earlier than mine.

I suppose I should feel a lingering bit of guilt that we were waiting for my MIL to pass before we could sell our home, then find and move to our dream lake house, but I believe we did our best in that regard. The lake house, the multiple boats, the boat lift, the covered dock, and the various improvements we've made since we bought it 1.5 years ago have been what we consider our just reward for all our hard work.

Sometimes I'm tempted to slap myself to realize this isn't a dream, but the pain from that slap would only remind me of the work at the career I left behind.

Enjoy it and don't look back. The only thing I would add is that owning a lake home comes with more maintenance issues than you may be prepared for. Don't let that discourage you. You can always sell and move to somewhere that requires no physical effort when that becomes a necessity.
Last edited by vested1 on Thu Apr 22, 2021 7:16 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by restingonmylaurels »

catfish48084 wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:04 pm So I'm thinking 12/31/2021 is the end of the line for me. I've been preparing for this day for a long time, and although nothing is certain I think economically its a safe time. That said, its still has its moments and thoughts of doubt.

I'm 60 now
Retired at 40 from full-time professional work and put the suits back into the closet.

I would say you need to have three things to make retirement a success: an avocation, an intellectual challenge, and a part-time occupation.

At certain times, all three of these may be the same thing but at other times, they are all separate. Each has its place in your ongoing contentment.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by scrabbler1 »

No regrets whatsoever.

I retired at 45 and I am 58 now. I wanted out of the daily rat race and I got it. I had been working part-time for the last 7 years of my career, and that is when I regained control over my personal life. So, going from working part-time to working zero wasn't a huge change to my daily life compared to the change from working full-time to working part-time.

Anyway, it's nice having money come in without having to do anything. Every month, money magically appears in my bank's checking account from a bond fund's dividend and it pays the bills. My money works for me, not the other way around. :happy
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by Arabesque »

HanSolo wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 11:29 pm
AlohaJoe wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 7:30 pm I wouldn't say I regret it. But there are some things that work provides that are hard, or even impossible, to get outside of work. (snip)
I
The Atlantic ran a piece that illustrates the problem of loss of relevance, and why that might be even harder for people coming out of more prominent positions. It offers ideas on how to make the transition to a different phase of life, so that it doesn't wind up seeming empty.
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/ar ... ne/590650/

OK, so I've been posting on Bogleheads quite a bit lately... I need to go get a life away from the screen.
Your life on the screen is valuable. Sharing this article helped a lot of us.

I have been struggling with my retirement and feeling the loss of my career. I'm almost 70, but probably would not have retired so soon without the Covid push. I now know to move on to Vanaprastha. Of course, first I have to define Vanaprastha . . . what it means to me, that is.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by carolinaman »

I retired at 66 over 10 years ago. Overall, I am pleased with my retirement. My one regret is that I did not retire sooner. Staying as long as I did increased my pension and SS and savings, but I now know we could have done it sooner. One thing I wanted to do is finish my career well and I did that. My department had gone through a major reorganization several years earlier and it took a while to get things straightened out. So from that perspective I was glad I retired when I did.

I had opportunities to go full time in mission work and also in consulting. I did not want to work for a paycheck again so I chose a different path. I have and continue to do volunteer work which helps me to stay engaged in the real world. I serve on the board of directors of 2 non profits, one very small and the other very large. I am involved ministries at our church and do other things to serve my community.

Several posters mentioned health problems increasing along with physical limitations as people get into their 70s. That has been true for me. I take care of myself, exercise daily, eat right, and do not drink, but arthritis and other physical issues will take their toll. I had to give up golf due to hand, hip and back arthritis. I find it ironic that sometime who had a desk job has those problems, but old age does not discriminate. I still do all my yard work and maintain 2 acres of wooded land but that is more of a struggle.

No complaints. I feel blessed to be where I am.

One caution to those planning to retire. Have a plan for how you will spend your days. What will you do after breakfast each day? Many people on this site obsess over their retirement financial plan (I know that I did), but you personal life is just as important if not more so. Best wishes.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

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I must admit I am very envious of people who are easily able to fill their days in retirement. I have zero understanding of what they are doing to fill their days.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by midareff »

I'm 73 and just starting year 10 retired.

Had I known what Mr. Market would do these last ten to a dozen years I would have retired sooner, but that's simply not predictable.

I always worked long hours in a stressful middle management position. I do believe there is a price you pay for this later in life, and now is later. We enjoy traveling... cruising different parts of the world to be more precise. Even ignoring a lost year and a half of travels to the Covid issue I have had health issues that have made me skip a trip, cut one short by a few days and made some others quite difficult. Thankfully it seems some stability has returned to a variety of situations and we are ready to go in December with four trips planned for 2022.

As Bugs used to say... that's all folks. ... retirement has been as good as claimed, maybe better.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by JoeRetire »

TheTimeLord wrote: Thu Apr 22, 2021 7:44 am I must admit I am very envious of people who are easily able to fill their days in retirement. I have zero understanding of what they are doing to fill their days.
I can't speak for others, but I am doing things I enjoy. For me, that's what retirement is all about.
- I walk every day. In the summer, I walk for 2 hours. If I'm walking by myself, I listen to podcasts.
- I play pickleball virtually every day for about 2 hours
- I do some photography and photo editing
- I am on the Board of Directors and am the Treasurer and Web Master of our HOA
- I play my guitar and ukelele
- I read a lot
- I paddle my kayak
- I ride my bike
- We socialize a lot with friends and family
- We spend time at our nearby beach every week, more in summers (we live in a beach community)
- My wife and I travel some
- We entertain our grandchildren (we used to babysit every week until they were old enough for school)
- We have family and friends visit us for a few days to a week or so
- My wife loves movies, I love my wife, so we watch some together
- My wife loves to shop, I love my wife, so I sit in the car and read while she shops
- We check out new restaurants
- On bad weather days, we sometimes binge watch a television series
- We do the usual household shopping, cleaning, etc
- We do volunteer work
- My wife works part-time. She just left one job that she really liked but got to be physically taxing. She is starting a new job. She likes the socialization aspects of the job. We don't need the money, so her job choices are unlimited.
- My wife enjoys her gardening
- We take turns cooking and trying new recipes
- We do lots of other things spontaneously
- Occasionally, we just do nothing special

There are always things to do, sometimes things that must be done. It's not always extreme excitement, but it's always enjoyable. Some of these we got to do pre-retirement, just more now.
Last edited by JoeRetire on Thu Apr 22, 2021 8:09 am, edited 8 times in total.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by midareff »

TheTimeLord wrote: Thu Apr 22, 2021 7:44 am I must admit I am very envious of people who are easily able to fill their days in retirement. I have zero understanding of what they are doing to fill their days.
Lord... it's been months since I was able to set aside the time to do the "doin' nothin'", I had hoped I would have time to do. Catching up is dam near impossible. We live in a word filled with music, movies, books, cultural and historical enrichment and more that need nothing more than an internet connection to enjoy fully.... and now we have had the world of restaurants return as well with travel and photography to be a mere few months away.
It's 9 AM already and I've barely checked in at the blogs and it's time for my 2 mile morning exercise walk to be followed by a shower and breakfast, if hungry. After that I'll take my wife to PT for her back and get lunch somewhere, pick her back up and stop at the grocery store for a few items. Getting home I hope I have a couple hours for some immersive music listening before it's time for my evening 2 mile walk. Another shower, a glass of Cabernet or two and some TV entertainment between programming (live or recorded) we enjoy or movies on Netflix, Prime, Showtime and Epix and more.

Hopefully your understanding of at least my full days will help.
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by Thegame14 »

catfish48084 wrote: Wed Apr 21, 2021 6:04 pm Nor do I know what its like to be without an identity related to who I am at work and the contributions I make, which have provided a sense of accomplishment for many years.

So retiring is letting go of some economic security, and also letting go of a part of who I am. On the latter issue, I've spent the last 8 months putting in motion the realization of a lifelong dream - we bought the retirement home on the lake, and in the next couple months the dock, boat hoist, and grade-A fishing boat will all materialize. So I do have one huge hobby / source of enjoyment that certainly grow into a new identity I can be quite satisfied with
I know I am a different generation, but I NEVER got the whole work as an identity thing, it is just a job and they will replace you before you can even clean out your desk, no one cares about what company you work for or what title you have, it means nothing..... This pandemic has shown me how many people only care about work and their precious title and god forbid they have to teach their kids, mow their lawn, or shovel their snow, they are too important because they work for XYZ company and are a "Vice President" and make "six figures" and drive a $50K car.... it is sad


retirement to me is just economics of how much money you need to live without working and how much you plan to leave to your kids/grandkids. Id be quite happy just sleeping late, watching TV, going for a walk, playing video games, running errands, and small hobbies, and not having to be on anyone else's schedule. to me retirement is FREEDOM!!!!
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Re: What Were Your Regrets after Retiring? (serious question)

Post by KlangFool »

OP,

The answer: none.

I did excellent work and achieved extra-ordinary result. To reward my effort, my location was off-shored and I was laid off. This happened to me many times. I was unemployed for more than 1 year many times.

My identity is not tied to my job. My actual job performance has nothing to do with whether I will be rewarded. The mega corp has their strategic directions. If you do not fit their views and profiles, you will be gone.

It is just a job. You are paid to do it. There is nothing more or less to it. The world would keep on going with or without you.

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