Career Advice

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siracha
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2017 10:13 am

Career Advice

Post by siracha »

Hello Bogleheads- I am 36 years old, and have been with the same large company for almost 11 years. The last eight years, I have been a Project Director with slightly different roles and responsibilities in the same department. I have a very flexible schedule, and even prior to Covid am free to work from home at my discretion. I have no direct reports and feel that my compensation is fair for my area around 150K plus or minus depending on the performance bonus. Every year, I have had very positive performance reviews associated with a moderate raise to my base salary. Travel is minimal at about two to four instances each year. My wife and I have two kiddos ages 3 and 5, and are expecting our third child next month. My wife enjoys her job as a elementary teacher at our local church's school.

In the past month, I have been asked if I would apply for two advancement opportunities within my company. Both would require much more responsibility, travel (both East and West coast), and managing direct reports. I turned both down as we are expecting our third child, and didn't feel that I could balance the new work responsibilities along with my family life (especially a newborn). When I explained my situation to the hiring executives, both were very understanding having had children of their own years ago.

This got me thinking about my long-term career aspirations. Am I ruining my future advancement opportunities by staying in a "safe" job while my children are young? When my children get older, and I do actively seek advancement, will I be passed up for opportunities because I stayed in the same role for too long?

Lastly, are there any older bogleheads that have advise for work-life balance with multiple young children? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!
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djpeteski
Posts: 1078
Joined: Fri Mar 31, 2017 9:07 am

Re: Career Advice

Post by djpeteski »

It really is impossible to tell what the future holds. Could you be ruining your future advancements, maybe, but maybe not. There are a lot of scenarios that could play out, beyond your control, where in hindsight a different decision would have been better.

You make a very good salary, and really what will impact your future is what you do with that salary. Give some, spend some, but invest some. Even if you currently had zero dollars, never got another raise, and invested 15% of your income you would be in pretty good shape.

So the possibility exists that you may ruin your chances with these guys, but there are other guys that will give you an opportunity as well. However, the current management seems very understanding and I would do what is right for you and your family.
runner3081
Posts: 5993
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2016 3:22 pm

Re: Career Advice

Post by runner3081 »

Depends on the company. If I were to turn down a promotion at my Megacorp or not apply for a promotion, when appropriate, it would damage my future earnings/growth opps.
ondarvr
Posts: 416
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 5:03 pm

Re: Career Advice

Post by ondarvr »

I've done both, there's no good answer.

I've taken the position and the travel and hassle were almost impossible to handle. The stress on the family was high too. Then we were bought out and I was (we all were) out of a job as soon as the new owners thought they had squeezed everything out of us. This happened more than once.

After that I avoided being advanced and it saved my job, managers and others were let go, of the 50 people on the West Coast I was the only one to make it through the layoffs. The second time around with this company I didn't make it all the way through, the new owners got rid of 70% of us.

Plus once you make enough money to be satisfied with life, why take on more hassle and stress for money you don't actually need.
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ClevrChico
Posts: 3258
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:24 pm

Re: Career Advice

Post by ClevrChico »

You made the right choice. Your kids will grow up in a flash, so now is the time to spend with them. $150k with good WLB is a sweet spot for employment.
Savvy
Posts: 367
Joined: Sat May 05, 2012 3:09 pm

Re: Career Advice

Post by Savvy »

You will be impacting future opportunities. But you turned down those opportunities because you didn't want them! So I don't see an issue here. Seems like salary, flexibility, and work life balance are all good right now, so I wouldn't put too much thought into this.
jebmke
Posts: 25474
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2007 2:44 pm
Location: Delmarva Peninsula

Re: Career Advice

Post by jebmke »

A lot depends on the culture of the company and management. I turned down a great promotion because my spouse had a significant career and it wasn't a convenient time to move. Three years or so later another great one came along and the situation had changed and I was able to move. It didn't cost me anything long term. I suspect that I had "one free" but two would have sidelined me.

I've also been the hiring manager and had people decline promotions involving relocation. I told them that from my perspective, I'd still come back again or support someone considering them again, BUT, that inability to relocate by definition cuts down the number of opportunities available to them. In that respect, it is strictly a numbers game.
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dcw213
Posts: 261
Joined: Sun Dec 16, 2012 2:04 pm

Re: Career Advice

Post by dcw213 »

You made the right move in my opinion. After a long run of success in a stable role, many forget how much hustling is required in a new, elevated role at most places. Life is often chaotic when kids are young, I would trust your gut here. You are young. In 5-10 years the place may be completely different and unlikely this decision will be held over your head for more than a few years.
Normchad
Posts: 5648
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 6:20 am

Re: Career Advice

Post by Normchad »

Always do what’s best for you and your family.

Beware though that the people who control your career and pay made the opposite decision. In a lot of cases, this won’t go over well. You will be perceived as being different from them, or not being a team player, or not wanting to work hard. They gave you an opportunity, a gift if you will. How dare you turn that down? Are you ungrateful? Or is something else wrong with you?

Also, in some cases people end up with a good salary and low stress, like you right now, because they were identified early on as high potential/future leaders. So the good pay they already get is in anticipation of them taking these steps. So not taking the steps can be painful......
Olemiss540
Posts: 2140
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2017 8:46 pm

Re: Career Advice

Post by Olemiss540 »

You could jump for the advancement role and get RIF'ed 2 years from now and it would have been for naught. I say go with your instincts. IC roles with folks not wanting to advance to management are frequent in many sectors. Stay valuable, stay productive, and stay where you want. Do what's best for you and yours and forget "career" advancement if you are not driven to live on the top of the pile.
I hold index funds because I do not overestimate my ability to pick stocks OR stock pickers.
Wannaretireearly
Posts: 4880
Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2010 4:39 pm

Re: Career Advice

Post by Wannaretireearly »

Normchad wrote: Tue Mar 30, 2021 7:19 pm Always do what’s best for you and your family.

Beware though that the people who control your career and pay made the opposite decision. In a lot of cases, this won’t go over well. You will be perceived as being different from them, or not being a team player, or not wanting to work hard. They gave you an opportunity, a gift if you will. How dare you turn that down? Are you ungrateful? Or is something else wrong with you?

Also, in some cases people end up with a good salary and low stress, like you right now, because they were identified early on as high potential/future leaders. So the good pay they already get is in anticipation of them taking these steps. So not taking the steps can be painful......
Very well said! Sums up my fears very well.
The older I get the more I think of my career as a 4 quarter game to fill my boots towards FI. Rather than success being defined as achieving higher/more stressful positions. I'd rather glide out my last quarter in a low stress role rather than getting beat up for even one year. But, it's not an easy path to navigate without looking like 'something else is wrong with you' to the higher ups!
“At some point you are trading time you will never get back for money you will never spend.“ | “How do you want to spend the best remaining year of your life?“
jdstripling
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2021 7:56 pm

Re: Career Advice

Post by jdstripling »

Unless you feel that additional money will make your life better in the short term I recommend doing what provides you the most time to spend with your growing family. If you are a smart, talented, driven employee, a good company will find a way to keep you around. You can always earn more money or find a new job but you are not able to go back and get a redo at being a dad for your kids.

If the potential increase in salary would instantly relieve financial stress in your life it could be worth considering.
fortunefavored
Posts: 1424
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2015 8:18 pm

Re: Career Advice

Post by fortunefavored »

Entirely depends on the industry & company culture. Where I last worked you would be let go within 6 months for not being in the right "nine box" (don't ask!)

But I'm sure there are many healthy, reasonable companies out there - look at their actions, not their words. Do "family men" disappear in layoffs regularly? See anyone over the age of 50 in your office who stayed in the same role for 10+ years? etc.
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