Moving to hometown?

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B3GINN3R
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Moving to hometown?

Post by B3GINN3R »

Wife and I currently live in the big city and have been here for 5 years, work at big companies, make a good living (400k) and we are 29 y.o.. No family here. We grew up together in our hometown.

We have a kid on the way and are having the discussion of whether to move to hometown which is a very nice suburb where both my wife and I grew up and visit often. I expect financial opportunities in hometown would be lower. My income in big city would probably be marginally higher, potentially much higher, potentially lower. It's hard/impossible to tell...

We both have very tight-knit families and want our baby to get to know them. Our parents are also, of course aging, and we are both close with our parents. My wife depends on her parents for emotional supports.

We have friends in both cities, probably more in hometown but not by much. All the things in the big city we loved, bars, restaurants, pop-ups, are closed now to covid and seem like they may as well be as we enter the baby rearing portion of our lives (hope to have a few). The City has lost some of its shine.

My income would at least take a temporary hit (down to 250k-300k), but with hard work I probably could get it back up.

I guess we are just lost and don't know what to do and looking to this board's collective wisdom. I know lots of people make this decision and I am just as much looking for anecdotes as I am for advice. If you stayed in the big city and find it has been the right choice, I want to hear why. If you went to hometown to be near family, I want to hear that too! --

[UPDATE]

So checking back in here.

I'm at a cross roads.

Option a: My current job is not one that I like that much (or at all), but it pays very well. This year, I am probably going to make about $450k (300k plus bonus). The upside is also unlimited here. The problem is, as mentioned up-thread, it is located in a city I don't want to live in and is likely only short-term as it is a services firm and I will likely get pushed out within 3-4 years. AT that point I will have to find a new employer most likely anyways.

Option b: I just got a job offer in home town where my family is. we know we want to live there long term. This job offers much better long-term prospects. They offered me $300k first year salary + unknown bonus (probably around 50k). I have a very good chance at making a long-term run here and sticking around a long time. Also, I will have a much better work-life balance. My guess is income will top out around 500-600k in 5-10 years.

So now, as a >30 year old with wife and kid, I am trying to decide whether to take a 100k pay cut to shift into a more sustainable long-term employer.

What would you do?
Last edited by B3GINN3R on Thu Jan 06, 2022 9:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Sandtrap
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Sandtrap »

So much of life and family experiences and rewards cannot be put on a spreadsheet or projected in numbers.

Everyone's family dynamics, core values, cultural/origin connections, etc. is different.
(some folks have shallow roots or no roots, some have deep roots)
Only you and your spouse can know what is "right" in the long run.

It's not important what other's would do in these things, but what "you do" that "sits right. . inside".
Ponder and commit. .. then don't look back.

*The goal is to look back at things at age 60-90 and think, "that worked out well, I'm glad we did that."
j :D
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Topic Author
B3GINN3R
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by B3GINN3R »

Sandtrap wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 8:05 am So much of life and family experiences and rewards cannot be put on a spreadsheet or projected in numbers.

Everyone's family dynamics, core values, cultural/origin connections, etc. is different.
(some folks have shallow roots or no roots, some have deep roots)
Only you and your spouse can know what is "right" in the long run.

It's not important what other's would do in these things, but what "you do" that "sits right. . inside".
Ponder and commit. .. then don't look back.

*The goal is to look back at things at age 60-90 and think, "that worked out well, I'm glad we did that."
j :D
Very much agreed...that is what is making this so hard! I just know how hard it is to predict what will actually make you happy so was hoping some current 60-90 year olds could lend their life experience.
Mike Scott
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Mike Scott »

A few decades ago and after a few years of moving about the US for professional reasons, we decided that living within a few hours drive of more of our family was important to us. That narrowed the job search to a general geographic area and excluded a couple of places I really enjoy being. I would recommend getting the new job before relocating. Overall, it has worked out for us but there are always a few "what ifs" hanging out there. On the other hand, moving back home as an adult can have its' own challenges depending on your family interactions.
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BL
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by BL »

Mike Scott wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 8:25 am A few decades ago and after a few years of moving about the US for professional reasons, we decided that living within a few hours drive of more of our family was important to us. That narrowed the job search to a general geographic area and excluded a couple of places I really enjoy being. I would recommend getting the new job before relocating. Overall, it has worked out for us but there are always a few "what ifs" hanging out there. On the other hand, moving back home as an adult can have its' own challenges depending on your family interactions.
+1
Things change, you change. Have a job if possible.
HomeStretch
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by HomeStretch »

These types of decisions would be so much easier to make if one had a crystal ball!

Sounds like you can earn a sufficient salary whether you stay in the city or move to your hometown or elsewhere. As such, my suggestion is to weight your family life more than your professional career/W-2 earnings in deciding what you and spouse WANT to do. Then figure out how to structure your financial life to support it.

Structuring your professional lives to maximize your family time and quality of life is likely worthwhile. A short work commute and schedule flexibility can go a long way towards eating dinner together each night as a family, not stressing if a kid is sick or school closes early or has summers off, attending a mid-day school event or parent-teacher conference, attending or coaching after-school/weekend sports, helping kids with homework, playing catch in the backyard, etc. All of this will likely pay off in spades and it will be what you all remember when your kids are grown. It’s true it happens faster than you think.

Being close to extended family (that you get along with) is wonderful. They likely will support you time-wise (and find renewed interest in life) when your kids are small and your kids will benefit from a close relationship with grandparents, cousins, etc. You will be there when parents, as they age, need help.

Worst case, if the move doesn’t work out for some reason, that’s okay. You can do something else.

Best of luck with your/spouse’s decision and your growing family!
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Sandtrap
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Sandtrap »

B3GINN3R wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 8:11 am
Sandtrap wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 8:05 am So much of life and family experiences and rewards cannot be put on a spreadsheet or projected in numbers.

Everyone's family dynamics, core values, cultural/origin connections, etc. is different.
(some folks have shallow roots or no roots, some have deep roots)
Only you and your spouse can know what is "right" in the long run.

It's not important what other's would do in these things, but what "you do" that "sits right. . inside".
Ponder and commit. .. then don't look back.

*The goal is to look back at things at age 60-90 and think, "that worked out well, I'm glad we did that."
j :D
Very much agreed...that is what is making this so hard! I just know how hard it is to predict what will actually make you happy so was hoping some current 60-90 year olds could lend their life experience.
Relocated from Hawaii UHCOL and retired nearly 10 yrs ago to LCOL Northern Arizona. Financially and lifestyle etc are huge pluses. Also children and their families has been great as they moved too.
By as far as few family and old friends remaining and island culture and lifestyle, I’m always homesick.

Yes.
These are tough decisions.
j🌺
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thousandaire
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by thousandaire »

31 here, engaged, no kids but actively discussing. Also have high paying city jobs, no family nearby, and have plans to move back to our hometown eventually.

Our (tentative) plan is to stay in the city a little longer (maybe until our first kid is 2-3), then move home. We don't want to raise a child in the city, but we think raising a baby here can be doable, and perhaps a uniquely fond memory for us one day. Our general idea is to let life take its natural course, and that when the time comes, we'll know. We're renters, so it feels easy to get up and leave.

Our thought is that we'll get to maximize our careers and the city experience a little longer. Our hope is that by hanging on a little, we'll have no regrets about maximizing our youth, pursuing career opportunities, and be fully ready to commit to suburban life. We have no illusions about staying forever--we know that the city will lose its appeal and won't work for us sooner than later. But we're going to wait until that day comes, and hopefully leave with no regrets.

Obviously this is a very personal decision that depends on you and your family. Just wanted to share our perspective as I'd imagine this is a common dilemma.
Last edited by thousandaire on Mon Mar 29, 2021 9:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
Broken Man 1999
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Broken Man 1999 »

If you both want to move closer to your families, sooner is better than later.

The more time passes, the less what was once there in the past is there now.

DW and I moved from the East Coast of Florida to the West Coast of Florida at age 18. Our hometown offered very few career or educational opportunities, unlike our new location. Because of lack of opportunities, almost all my cousins left for greener pastures. Four of five of DW's siblings left our hometown as well. And, both my siblings ultimately left our hometown to be closer to their children.

Being close to family is something most adults want, as family is important. Ours were only about 150 miles away. So the distance separating us from our parents was easily traveled when we desired to see them.

Thankfully our DDs live very close to us. The nice thing about many larger cities is enough jobs are generated to absorb the newly graduated HS students and college graduates, diplomas and degrees in hand. Even if one leaves their birthplace for college, a job will probably be available if/when they return to their home town. That cannot be said for smaller towns, and even the larger cities that are suffering decline. One DD left us to go to college, but returned after her graduation. Of course the fact that someone can have a solid career in their birth location doesn't mean they will stay. I do think for some it can be a major influence.

Our grandchildren have both sets of their grandparents living near us. And, for a short time they knew their great-grandmothers, as they also lived in our city.

Broken Man 1999

ETA: WFH might change the prospects of people in high-paying jobs being able to live in smaller towns, cities. The response made necessary by covid could make WFH for many attractive to the workers and management. Time will tell how acceptable of WFH is to management. There will be more WFH than before covid, but how the total grows is unknown.

A DD has WFH for several years with her last two employers, both foreign companies. The US operations corporate headquarters of her current position is in California.
Last edited by Broken Man 1999 on Mon Mar 29, 2021 9:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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runner3081
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by runner3081 »

I would dread living close to family :)

We moved away from family about 8-years ago. Made our little family, wife, daughter and I so much closer and stronger. Do we miss them sometimes? Sure. However, if we had stayed, it wouldn't have been the same. Many of the people who were clustered together have left the area themselves. Not many folks left.
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Beachey
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Beachey »

In does depend on the family dynamic but it is so useful to have grandparents nearby when you have very young children.
Babysitters in general are very hard to find and the ability to go see a movie or go to dinner for a few hours is really priceless.
It is so much harder when you don't have family nearby.
rage_phish
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by rage_phish »

having grandparents in town who can babysit is worth a lot
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peterinjapan
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by peterinjapan »

My default advice is "live in a place where you'll best the best/closest emotional connections to." I'm an American living in rural Japan, and have I have more connections here than I do back home, so it works for me.

Not terribly useful advice I guess ^_^;; Do whatever feels right, though.
DebiT
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by DebiT »

63 here, suddenly widowed 2 years ago, moved close to son and young family last May

Growing up brothers and I were close to mom’s family, even though my cousins were older. It felt great, grandparents watched us, didn’t feel weird when my mom had to work . Very positive.

Due to distances, our 2 sons didn’t have cousins close. My parents were 45 minutes away, not bad for visits, but not for everyday.

My daughter in law has 2 sisters in same suburb. There are 7 cousins under age 7. My grandsons are the oldest and youngest, plus 1 in the middle. It is wonderful how close they all are. I love being 10 min away, not 3 hours, and can help for 20 minutes or all day since I’m now retired. I have the relationship with them that in had with my grandparents, and I love it.

I think our society “forgot” how important extended family can be, and is perhaps now rediscovering it.

My advice? If you like your families, move back. Money isn’t everything, esp above a certain amount.
Age 66, life turned upside down 3/2/19, thanking God for what I've learned from this group. AA 40/60 for now, possibly changing at age 70.
Hockey10
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Hockey10 »

B3GINN3R wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 8:11 am
Very much agreed...that is what is making this so hard! I just know how hard it is to predict what will actually make you happy so was hoping some current 60-90 year olds could lend their life experience.
I was in your shoes in my early 30s (although at a much lower income level). But, we missed being close to family. It seemed like we spent all of our vacation days traveling back and forth from where we lived (with no family) to back home. On one of our visits back home, we were in the car on a Saturday morning, and it all of a sudden hit me. I said to my wife we are moving back home (I had previously asked her about it and she said it was up to me to decide). I had been thinking about it for awhile, but could never quite get over the hump to make the decision until that moment.

Now that I am in the 60-90 group that Sandtrap mentioned, I can say with certainty that moving back home was one of the best decisions I ever made. I did not realize at the time that we would spend most of the next 2 decades taking care of aging parents with health problems.
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Sandtrap
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Sandtrap »

B3GINN3R wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 8:11 am
Sandtrap wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 8:05 am So much of life and family experiences and rewards cannot be put on a spreadsheet or projected in numbers.

Everyone's family dynamics, core values, cultural/origin connections, etc. is different.
(some folks have shallow roots or no roots, some have deep roots)
Only you and your spouse can know what is "right" in the long run.

It's not important what other's would do in these things, but what "you do" that "sits right. . inside".
Ponder and commit. .. then don't look back.

*The goal is to look back at things at age 60-90 and think, "that worked out well, I'm glad we did that."
j :D
Very much agreed...that is what is making this so hard! I just know how hard it is to predict what will actually make you happy so was hoping some current 60-90 year olds could lend their life experience.
Yes. It is dificult.
I've known some that have relocated to thier dream home after retirement and moved 7 years later back to "home". An old timer Realtor in the area told me the average time to resell for many in our area of custom homes, large valley with at least a dozen private developments, was about 4-8 years. Why? It wasn't what they thought, advancing health and the custom miniMcMansion estate proved to large to handle, missing the grandkids, etc, etc.

There's a lot of life transitions that can happen in the 60-90 age group as well as earlier in life. Unpredictable.
Especially when older, the importance of finances (as long as it was done well) fades, and family and connections and culture and roots become more important.
j :D
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Keenobserver
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Keenobserver »

Easy decision imo. Home town.
ChicagoWolverine
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by ChicagoWolverine »

OP. Any possibility of your employer being ok with a remote working situation? If you are going to pull the trigger regardless, I'd at least have the discussion with your employer. Employers are going to have to become more flexible to stay competitive for talent ...
BradJ
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by BradJ »

I can’t tell you which decision to make, but can promise you this is a pretty normal mental battle. It’s good to know that while your city has lost some of its shine, I guarantee your hometown is not the same town it was growing up (this may not be a bad thing). That being said, the first 4 years of child rearing can be challenging and having a “village” to help is worth it weight in gold. Also, children knowing their grandparents is beneficial to both parties. It is good to know what role they wish to play, one side on our family made it very clear they love their grandkids but have no ambition on being an overly active participant in their rearing.
treesinthewind
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by treesinthewind »

It's not just about the free babysitting. If you have a functional set of parents or extended family, it is much healthier for your children to grow up developing relationships with them. Someone who thinks that kid is the best person on earth, has always got their back, and spoils them rotten. As a parent, you can't have that role, and now that our kids are tweens, I see how much they need someone like that in their lives. We have had to cobble together our own village, but if your birth family can be your village, you won't regret it. Yes, you will be annoyed at times, but humans were not meant to live in nuclear families. And if for any reason you have special needs, involved relatives who can give you some advice and perspective and respite are invaluable.
BradJ
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by BradJ »

DebiT wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 11:51 am
I think our society “forgot” how important extended family can be, and is perhaps now rediscovering it.
I’m not sure what happened, but my family is in the same boat with other millennial families in that we just see a big difference in the grandparent/grandchild relationship. Our kids grandparents live 10 minutes down the road and see our kids once every couple of weeks for an hour or so, and they seem happy with that set up. Long gone are the days of Sunday family dinners and having this close relationship with grandparents. I don’t want to call it a bad thing, but it is very different than it was in my childhood.
theplayer11
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by theplayer11 »

with kids you can cross of the need for your big city bars :D
ddurrett896
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by ddurrett896 »

B3GINN3R wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 7:55 am We both have very tight-knit families and want our baby to get to know them. Our parents are also, of course aging, and we are both close with our parents. My wife depends on her parents for emotional supports.
You can't put a value on this, it's invaluable. I'd move home ASAP.

I'm in my 30s with 3 small kids and I can't tell you how convenient it is having a set of grandparents 2 miles south of me and the other set 2 miles west of me.
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Watty
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Watty »

B3GINN3R wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 7:55 am We have a kid on the way.....
You did not say much about the relative cost of living in the hometown and the big city.

You also need to consider what things will be like way down the line.

If you live in an expensive big city then one thing to consider is what it will be like when your kid grows up and is ready to move out and live on their own. When I right out of college I lived in the Bay Area which has always been expensive and one of the things I saw was that some of my older coworkers had grow up kids that were well into their 20s who were still living with their parents. The problem was that the kids did not have high paying jobs and could not afford an apartment even with roommates.

I've moved around several times since then an I am now retired in a low to medium cost of living area. I have a son who is in his 30s. He is doing well in his career and was easily able to afford to buy a nice house that is about ten minutes from us which is nice since we frequently get to see our grandkids. Virtually all of his high school and college classmates who stayed in the area were easily able to afford to buy nice houses when they were in their 20s.

We also have some friends who have a son who is severely dyslexic and barely graduated from high school. At one point he was working in a chain muffler shop which is a good honest job but I am sure that it did not pay a lot. Even on his income he was able to afford to by a small older house in a marginal but not terrible part of town.

Of course your kid(s) could decide to move to the big city like you did.
B3GINN3R wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 7:55 am We have friends in both cities, probably more in hometown but not by much.
One thing to be prepared for is some of the friends in your hometown may still be great to see once a year but if you move back you may not be the same since your lives will have changed. Even if you had never left the hometown the friendships would have likely changed.
B3GINN3R wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 7:55 am My income would at least take a temporary hit (down to 250k-300k)....
Be sure to do a dummy tax return to see the after tax difference and figure out your budget if the housing prices are a lot different. The net difference may not be as much as it sounds.

You can look up the statistics but you will still likely be in the top 1% of the earners so that gives you lots of choices no matter where you live.

As others have said it would be good to have jobs lined up before you try to move.

With a baby on the way it would probably be best to wait until the baby is born and things settle down a bit until you add moving and new jobs into the mix.
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Stinky
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Stinky »

Our children grew up 1,000 miles away from their grandparents.

Our grandchildren are growing up 5 miles away from us.

All things considered, close proximity is better for all parties involved. That is, so long as family relationships (amongst all adults) are civil and positive.
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sailaway
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by sailaway »

If you are currently working remote, may I suggest that you get an Airbnb for a month and try out hometown living? Works great for some people, miserable for others. If you are working remotely right now, you have a unique trial run opportunity.
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B3GINN3R
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by B3GINN3R »

I took this boards advice and have lived in hometown.

Bottom line is we love it and Are staying.

Now the question is how much house can we afford. I still have job in big city and making 400k. Will probably hold this job thru end of year then switch to hometown job and make 250-300 with room for growth.

We are struggling to find a house we like. We have investments of 550k and 200k cash. After paying for living, I’ll be able to sock away 100k more in cash by eoy to refresh emergency fund.

Is it reasonable to buy a 700-750 k house? I’d put down 140k and seems like we should be able to service a 560k mtg. Honestly after looking a bunch, the ones we are comfortable with being forever homes are that much. We could get a starter home for 500. My lease in city ends soon but will hold onto big city job to keep raking in cash until they absolutely require in office.
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riverant
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by riverant »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat Aug 14, 2021 11:51 am I took this boards advice and have lived in hometown.

Bottom line is we love it and Are staying.

Now the question is how much house can we afford. I still have job in big city and making 400k. Will probably hold this job thru end of year then switch to hometown job and make 250-300 with room for growth.

We are struggling to find a house we like. We have investments of 550k and 200k cash. After paying for living, I’ll be able to sock away 100k more in cash by eoy to refresh emergency fund.

Is it reasonable to buy a 700-750 k house? I’d put down 140k and seems like we should be able to service a 560k mtg. Honestly after looking a bunch, the ones we are comfortable with being forever homes are that much. We could get a starter home for 500. My lease in city ends soon but will hold onto big city job to keep raking in cash until they absolutely require in office.
Yes, your salary is way above what’s necessary to afford a 750k house. Congrats
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Cheez-It Guy
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Cheez-It Guy »

"You can't go home again."
HomeStretch
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by HomeStretch »

Thanks for the update and it’s great that the move turned out so well for your family!

It’s easier to qualify for a mortgage with a higher salary at a longer-term job. If you don’t find a house/qualify for a mortgage by year-end, consider delaying changing jobs until you get the house/mortgage completed.
Broken Man 1999
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Broken Man 1999 »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat Aug 14, 2021 11:51 am I took this boards advice and have lived in hometown.

Bottom line is we love it and Are staying.

Now the question is how much house can we afford. I still have job in big city and making 400k. Will probably hold this job thru end of year then switch to hometown job and make 250-300 with room for growth.

We are struggling to find a house we like. We have investments of 550k and 200k cash. After paying for living, I’ll be able to sock away 100k more in cash by eoy to refresh emergency fund.

Is it reasonable to buy a 700-750 k house? I’d put down 140k and seems like we should be able to service a 560k mtg. Honestly after looking a bunch, the ones we are comfortable with being forever homes are that much. We could get a starter home for 500. My lease in city ends soon but will hold onto big city job to keep raking in cash until they absolutely require in office.
Awesome!
I am glad it worked out for you.

Family is everything to me.

Maybe your current employer can agree to WFH still. If you do decide to accept a lower-paying job, maybe you current company can meet you somewhere in the $$$ that makes both of you better off.

Broken Man 1999
“If I cannot drink Bourbon and smoke cigars in Heaven then I shall not go." - Mark Twain
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fishandgolf
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by fishandgolf »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat Aug 14, 2021 11:51 am I took this boards advice and have lived in hometown.

Bottom line is we love it and Are staying.

Now the question is how much house can we afford. I still have job in big city and making 400k. Will probably hold this job thru end of year then switch to hometown job and make 250-300 with room for growth.

We are struggling to find a house we like. We have investments of 550k and 200k cash. After paying for living, I’ll be able to sock away 100k more in cash by eoy to refresh emergency fund.

Is it reasonable to buy a 700-750 k house? I’d put down 140k and seems like we should be able to service a 560k mtg. Honestly after looking a bunch, the ones we are comfortable with being forever homes are that much. We could get a starter home for 500. My lease in city ends soon but will hold onto big city job to keep raking in cash until they absolutely require in office.

Congratulations!

My wife and I grew up in a small town in Wisconsin. About 20 years ago I had an opportunity to relocated to a larger city with more pay.....we did not do it......never really consider it. As others have stated.....family is everything. In fact, as I'm scribbling this, my wife is working on a craft project at the kitchen table with our 6 year old grand daughter. Love the conversation they're having.....wouldn't trade it for a billion.... :happy
RosieQ
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by RosieQ »

I did the move from Bay Area to a small town where I grew up in CA. Wife was nice enough to follow with me and I think it has worked out well. I was anticipating lower salary but it ended up being comparable and recently far exceeded my prior expectations. With a smaller town there won't be the same MegaCorp salary options for in person work, and remote work is starting to phase in COL adjustments for remote work that could drop salaries a touch. However many small towns have a business environment that is far less competitive. My wife and I are in healthcare, and as an example there seems to be a dentist every block in LA and San Francisco, but locally it's a 6 month wait to get a first appointment and some local towns have not a single dentist accepting new patients. It's crazy. Outside of healthcare, starting new business with word of mouth just seems easier, as it's a smaller place. It's safe for kids, and daycare is 50% of the price of the big city, plus being close to family has great social value for everyone. Highly recommend.
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Stinky
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Stinky »

Wonderful. It sounds like you’ve made a good decision.

Thanks for following up on your story.
Retired life insurance company financial executive who sincerely believes that ”It’s a GREAT day to be alive!”
EddyB
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by EddyB »

BradJ wrote: Tue Mar 30, 2021 10:45 am
DebiT wrote: Mon Mar 29, 2021 11:51 am
I think our society “forgot” how important extended family can be, and is perhaps now rediscovering it.
I’m not sure what happened, but my family is in the same boat with other millennial families in that we just see a big difference in the grandparent/grandchild relationship. Our kids grandparents live 10 minutes down the road and see our kids once every couple of weeks for an hour or so, and they seem happy with that set up. Long gone are the days of Sunday family dinners and having this close relationship with grandparents. I don’t want to call it a bad thing, but it is very different than it was in my childhood.
Yep. My in-laws have long pressured my wife about moving closer to them, but when we visit (or when they visit, which is rare), they can only interact with the kids for a few minutes before they have to check their phones….
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B3GINN3R
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by B3GINN3R »

Every weekend during summer and spring we have pool parties at my in-laws. I have 23nieces and nephews all under age 8 and within 3 square miles. My wife is growing into sahm role and goes and sees family every day.

Covid has definitely brought he family back together.
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Watty
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Watty »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat Aug 14, 2021 11:51 am I took this boards advice and have lived in hometown.

Bottom line is we love it and Are staying.

Now the question is how much house can we afford. I still have job in big city and making 400k. Will probably hold this job thru end of year then switch to hometown job and make 250-300 with room for growth.

We are struggling to find a house we like. We have investments of 550k and 200k cash. After paying for living, I’ll be able to sock away 100k more in cash by eoy to refresh emergency fund.

Is it reasonable to buy a 700-750 k house? I’d put down 140k and seems like we should be able to service a 560k mtg. Honestly after looking a bunch, the ones we are comfortable with being forever homes are that much. We could get a starter home for 500. My lease in city ends soon but will hold onto big city job to keep raking in cash until they absolutely require in office.
Some big things to consider are;

1) How sure are you that you will be able to get that hometown job? If there is the least bit of doubt that you can easily get a job like that then you might want to wait to buy a house there until you do have a local job, or at least a long term job working remotely.

2) Does "We have investments of 550k..." mean that you have that much in taxable accounts in addition to retirement accounts? If so then you might want to make a much larger down payment and pay it off quickly.

3) Have you had the baby yet? If not then it would be good to wait to buy a house until you have a healthy baby and mom at home.

Other than that a house in that price range would be reasonable. The incremental monthly costs between a $500K house and $700K house are a small fraction of your income so buying a $500K starter house would not make a huge difference in your finances.
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B3GINN3R
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by B3GINN3R »

Watty wrote: Sat Aug 14, 2021 7:23 pm
B3GINN3R wrote: Sat Aug 14, 2021 11:51 am I took this boards advice and have lived in hometown.

Bottom line is we love it and Are staying.

Now the question is how much house can we afford. I still have job in big city and making 400k. Will probably hold this job thru end of year then switch to hometown job and make 250-300 with room for growth.

We are struggling to find a house we like. We have investments of 550k and 200k cash. After paying for living, I’ll be able to sock away 100k more in cash by eoy to refresh emergency fund.

Is it reasonable to buy a 700-750 k house? I’d put down 140k and seems like we should be able to service a 560k mtg. Honestly after looking a bunch, the ones we are comfortable with being forever homes are that much. We could get a starter home for 500. My lease in city ends soon but will hold onto big city job to keep raking in cash until they absolutely require in office.
Some big things to consider are;

1) How sure are you that you will be able to get that hometown job? If there is the least bit of doubt that you can easily get a job like that then you might want to wait to buy a house there until you do have a local job, or at least a long term job working remotely.

2) Does "We have investments of 550k..." mean that you have that much in taxable accounts in addition to retirement accounts? If so then you might want to make a much larger down payment and pay it off quickly.

3) Have you had the baby yet? If not then it would be good to wait to buy a house until you have a healthy baby and mom at home.

Other than that a house in that price range would be reasonable. The incremental monthly costs between a $500K house and $700K house are a small fraction of your income so buying a $500K starter house would not make a huge difference in your finances.
Thanks!

I am positive I will be able to get a job locally…eventually. If it takes a long time, I can stay at current spot for longer but I HIGHLY doubt I’ll have a problem.

Investments are about 200 in retirements and 350 in taxable. I’d rather keep it in the market given the mortgage rates are so good.

We already have a healthy mom and baby at home! Agreed, that is most important.
hvaclorax
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by hvaclorax »

Like others have said,I don’t know what field the OP works in but some are so stressful that might make such a move sensible. Money vs piece of mind, I’ll take the latter. But I would also look around because there might be a different town that you be more enjoyable. During this pandemic our little town has offered many more recreation options than would be available in a large city. Not for everyone but much better than my hometown. With a newborn I would also consider limitations that would entail given there isn’t a vaccine yet available. Even if it was available, not 100% protection.
Respectfully, HVAC
Topic Author
B3GINN3R
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Location: chicago

Re: Moving to hometown? [UPDATED GOT JOB]

Post by B3GINN3R »

So checking back in here.

I'm at a cross roads.

Option a: My current job is not one that I like that much (or at all), but it pays very well. This year, I am probably going to make about $450k (300k plus bonus). The upside is also unlimited here. The problem is, as mentioned up-thread, it is located in a city I don't want to live in and is likely only short-term as it is a services firm and I will likely get pushed out within 3-4 years. AT that point I will have to find a new employer most likely anyways.

Option b: I just got a job offer in home town where my family is. we know we want to live there long term. This job offers much better long-term prospects. They offered me $300k first year salary + unknown bonus (probably around 50k). I have a very good chance at making a long-term run here and sticking around a long time. Also, I will have a much better work-life balance. My guess is income will top out around 500-600k in 5-10 years.

So now, as a >30 year old with wife and kid, I am trying to decide whether to take a 100k pay cut to shift into a more sustainable long-term employer.

What would you do?
FraserFir
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by FraserFir »

Option B sounds great. Unless your hometown is San Francisco or something 300k + bonus should be plenty, and potential salary growth is excellent.

What even is the point of money if you don't use it to get what you (presumably) want? Work-life balance, proximity to family, living in an area you like- sounds like a good value to me.
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Stinky
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Stinky »

Option B sounds like a winner.

Why stay in a job that you don’t like, in a city that you don’t like? Life is too short.
Retired life insurance company financial executive who sincerely believes that ”It’s a GREAT day to be alive!”
Flyer24
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Flyer24 »

I thought you decided in August and made the move to the hometown. I look at it this way. Can I make enough money in the area and still enjoy the place that I live? Not everything is about making as much money as you can. You have to find the right balance and that is something only your family can decide.
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Doom&Gloom
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Doom&Gloom »

B would be a no-brainer for me.

Good luck with your decision.
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B3GINN3R
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by B3GINN3R »

Flyer24 wrote: Thu Jan 06, 2022 10:44 am I thought you decided in August and made the move to the hometown. I look at it this way. Can I make enough money in the area and still enjoy the place that I live? Not everything is about making as much money as you can. You have to find the right balance and that is something only your family can decide.
So we "moved" to the hometown and are living in a condo and have been working remotely. This is now the decision on whether to officially take a job in hometown.
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Watty
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Watty »

B3GINN3R wrote: Thu Jan 06, 2022 9:55 am So now, as a >30 year old with wife and kid, I am trying to decide whether to take a 100k pay cut to shift into a more sustainable long-term employer.
It sounds like the cost of living there will be lower and a lot of that $100K will go to taxes. Crunch the numbers, I suspect that moneywise it is almost a wash unless the state taxes are a lot higher in the hometown.

Money is important but realistically either way you will do more than fine financially in either place and be in the top 1% either way. The main financial difference will just be that in one place or you will leave a larger estate some day.

This is really not a financial decision, do what you would do if finances were not a factor.

At your age you also likely have not worked through a bad recession so don't underestimate the important of having a good stable employer. In your original post you mentioned that your current position will likely end in a couple of years. If that is in the middle of a recession then few companies may be hiring and few other people may be leaving their jobs which will also reduce the number of job openings.
B3GINN3R wrote: Thu Jan 06, 2022 9:55 am What would you do?
Now that you have a good job offer the hometown would be an easy choice for me, but that is just me.

If that does not work out you can always move back to the other city in a few years.
WannabeEarlyRetiree
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by WannabeEarlyRetiree »

at your age and at your income, it'd be a no brainer for me. Take the hometown offer and move.
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quantAndHold
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by quantAndHold »

Taking a cut from $450k to $350k to live where you want seems like kind of a no brainer. Life is short, and you have plenty. You’ll never miss the extra money.
Flyer24
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by Flyer24 »

Option B sounds like something I would take. You will still make an excellent salary.
JPM
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Re: Moving to hometown?

Post by JPM »

Lucky OP to have families of origin that he and his DW want to be near. Plan B looks like the obvious choice for career (better visible long-term prospects) and for personal considerations.
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