How to respond when someone asks how much money you make?

Kiter · Post by **Kiter** » Fri Jan 30, 2015 9:30 pm

Less than many ,more than some.

Flashes1 · Post by **Flashes1** » Fri Jan 30, 2015 9:47 pm

It's funny that it's a social faux pas for regular folks like us to know how much our colleagues make; however, many experts blame large executive pay precisely because they know how much other executives at rivals make, and they use it as leverage for higher pay. For example, the CFO at the very profitable and large Company A tells his compensation committee he has to be paid more than the CFO at smaller Company B or he's walking. Executive pay is reported in the SEC filings-----pretty much to the dollar.

Could the underlings be paid more if we knew how much fellow schleps were making at our company and our competitors?

jmndu99 · Post by **jmndu99** » Fri Jan 30, 2015 9:52 pm

When asked about how much money I make, I always respond with,

"It's not about how much money I make, it's more about how much money I keep",

followed up with a smile

john94549 · Post by **john94549** » Fri Jan 30, 2015 10:12 pm

When applying for a home loan, for example, I suppose such information might be fair game. In a social environment, frankly, I can't recall ever being asked. I do have a very rude "none of your business" look I could employ. It's right up there with the expression I use when folks ask "oh, you're retired, what do you do?" It's the visual equivalent of "nothing; what part of 'retired' don't you understand?"

LowER · Post by **LowER** » Fri Jan 30, 2015 10:14 pm

"Just enough."

robert88 · Post by **robert88** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 12:20 am

If someone asked the question, I would tell them my salary.

pennstater2005 · Post by **pennstater2005** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 12:34 am

I just make up a number that I think will bother them the most

Traveller · Post by **Traveller** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 12:42 am

I don't tell and I don't ask. No way. In my field what you make is fairly directly tied to your experience and your expertise. I don't see value in people trying to see who's is bigger. Always going to leave somebody feeling bad.

celia · Post by **celia** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 1:04 am

For those who won't answer how much they make, would you answer:
What's your job title?
What's the pay range for that job classification?

To me that is just another way of getting the same information without it being about you.

carolinaman · Post by **carolinaman** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 8:09 am

Since you are a contractor at that company, their management may not appreciate you disclosing your salary and could cause problems for you and your company if you disclose this information. For example, those asking could use this information as leverage in an attempt to get a pay increase from their company. I would say something like "since I am a contractor here, it is inappropriate for me to share my salary". Also, contractors are generally paid more for the risks of doing contract work. This creates an apples to oranges comparison that many employees may not understand.

rec7 · Post by **rec7** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 8:43 am

pennstater2005 wrote:I just make up a number that I think will bother them the most :twisted:

I use to do that at one of my jobs. It was funny how some people would get worked up about it. We made $10 an hour I would tell all the coworkers that asked I made $20 a hour.

thewizzer · Post by **thewizzer** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 8:49 am

Flashes1 wrote:It's funny that it's a social faux pas for regular folks like us to know how much our colleagues make; however, many experts blame large executive pay precisely because they know how much other executives at rivals make, and they use it as leverage for higher pay. For example, the CFO at the very profitable and large Company A tells his compensation committee he has to be paid more than the CFO at smaller Company B or he's walking. Executive pay is reported in the SEC filings-----pretty much to the dollar.

Could the underlings be paid more if we knew how much fellow schleps were making at our company and our competitors?

This. I simply don't understand why people get so worked up about this. Then again, I've been employed at a job since I was 21 years old that publicly discloses my salary down to the penny. Additionally, my union contacts other unions when it's time for the contract to be renewed to get 'comparable' salaries to be used during collective bargaining meetings. Different worlds, I suppose.

Dandy · Post by **Dandy** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 11:02 am

My response would be I don't discuss my personal finances but jobs of this nature can pay anywhere from x to y.

z3r0c00l · Post by **z3r0c00l** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 11:44 am

Sheepdog wrote:I would never tell someone what I made. It can do no good to anyone for them to know.

Actually it can do considerable good for the employees, and harm to the company. Because many companies offer significantly different compensation for similar positions even when the employees have comparable qualifications. Learning a few years ago that a co-worker made 15% more than me for a very similar position allowed me to make a stronger case for a raise, which I received. A few companies have a transparent wage system, that may not be good for their bottom line, but it is part of making a fair work environment.

Garco · Post by **Garco** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 1:18 pm

During most of my career my salary was a matter of public record -- for those savvy enough to know where to look, especially after everything went online in the 1990's. How I would answer the question if someone asked me directly would depend on the context. If I'm being asked my current salary by a prospective employer I give pretty much the exact "round" number. If I'm being asked by a family member, I might say "six figures" or "five figures," or I might use one of the more evasive responses if I think the person asking me has a nefarious purpose.

selftalk · Post by **selftalk** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 7:55 pm

I would say that you would have to ask my accountant.

pennstater2005 · Post by **pennstater2005** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 8:19 pm

selftalk wrote:I would say that you would have to ask my accountant.

Oohhhh, I'm using that one!

jackholloway · Post by **jackholloway** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 8:32 pm

I usually say I have been more fortunate than I deserve, and leave it at that.

Vilgan · Post by **Vilgan** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 9:55 pm

It'd be interesting to see the answers broken into age groups. I've answered a variety of friends when asked and they've answered me. I've discussed it with colleagues at the same company as well and benefited from people sharing what they made and what tactic was most effective for them.

Who benefits when you are quiet about what you make? Your employer and... that seems to be about it. I like the company I work for but I'm not going to help them deny fair compensation to coworkers that I like by hiding my salary.

texasdiver · Post by **texasdiver** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 10:03 pm

These questions are kind of weird for those of us in the public sector.

During my 10 years in the Federal government my pay wasn't exactly public but anyone who knew the system could pretty much figure it out by knowing my position grade and years of service.

Now I work for a school district that publishes its entire salary schedule online for pretty much every position from clerk up to superintendent as is common for most jobs in education. It's just a complete non issue and never a part of any discussion I've ever been in.

DonCamillo · Post by **DonCamillo** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 10:08 pm

I work for the state of New Jersey. They allow anyone to search online and find the salary of any state employee by name. The information is a little out of date, but close.

I guess if NJ taxpayers are paying my salary, they have the right to know how much they are paying.

Here is the site: http://www.nj.gov/transparency/payroll/

WCF · Post by **WCF** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:08 am

I actually don't have an issue with people knowing how much I make. IMO, it does no good to anyone but employers to keep our salaries confidential. Concealing information from each other just leads to compensation imbalance based on negotiation skill. Drastic imbalance is probably very common and our insecurities allow it to happen.

We don't reveal our pay because we don't want others to judge our personal worth, but in being so secretive, we just make the problem worse. We're basically admitting that we value this information so much we are not willing to divulge it. It's counterproductive since it elevates our compensation into a much higher, mystical, and taboo realm than it really needs to be in.

I'm happy to give ballpark figures. If it's a friend, then I don't mind sharing exact figures. I know I'm more than just my salary, so I'm comfortable sharing.

I've also noticed that it varies with culture and age. In Asian countries, asking how much someone makes is a common and innocent enough question. I think young people are also more willing to share. When I graduated college, most people I knew spoke openly about the jobs they were getting and how much they were making.

Coiled_Snake · Post by **Coiled_Snake** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:19 am

I am honest.
The amount of lying and deception here is not cool.

bhsince87 · Post by **bhsince87** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:21 am

"What do you mean by "make"? Before or after taxes? Should I include my 401k match? What about my HSA benefit? Or my health insurance subsidy? And then there's the 12%+ for social security. Should I count that as income? What about interest and dividends from my 401k? What about those from my after-tax account? And that match the company made for my charitable contribution? Should I count that on a before tax or after tax basis?

And while we're comparing notes here, how much do you make? And how much do you SAVE????"

I don't get asked much anymore!

jackholloway · Post by **jackholloway** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:44 am

Coiled_Snake wrote:I am honest.
The amount of lying and deception here is not cool.

Agreed. I choose to not answer with a number, but I am up front that I am not answering. I suspect that "the good luck has outweighed the bad" makes them think I am poor, but I am ok with that.

Ron Ronnerson · Post by **Ron Ronnerson** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 1:17 am

If you don't feel comfortable discussing it, it's okay to say so. I wouldn't take offense though. I'm a public school teacher and my salary (as well as the dollar amount my employer pays for my benefits) is posted on the Internet with my name next to the information. So, in some circles, there are just different norms about this type of question than in other circles.

black jack · Post by **black jack** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 1:32 am

WCF wrote:I actually don't have an issue with people knowing how much I make. IMO, it does no good to anyone but employers to keep our salaries confidential. Concealing information from each other just leads to compensation imbalance based on negotiation skill. Drastic imbalance is probably very common and our insecurities allow it to happen.

We don't reveal our pay because we don't want others to judge our personal worth, but in being so secretive, we just make the problem worse. We're basically admitting that we value this information so much we are not willing to divulge it. It's counterproductive since it elevates our compensation into a much higher, mystical, and taboo realm than it really needs to be in.

I'm happy to give ballpark figures. If it's a friend, then I don't mind sharing exact figures. I know I'm more than just my salary, so I'm comfortable sharing.

I've also noticed that it varies with culture and age. In Asian countries, asking how much someone makes is a common and innocent enough question. I think young people are also more willing to share. When I graduated college, most people I knew spoke openly about the jobs they were getting and how much they were making.

+1.

WHL wrote:I would guarantee that open access to salary information would create issues.

Perhaps you haven't noticed, but not having open access to salary information has created issues too.

Ketawa · Post by **Ketawa** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 1:50 am

As a member of the military, I say that it's possible to find out my exact salary using publicly available data.

SGM · Post by **SGM** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 3:44 am

There were lots of salary surveys in my specialty and other specialties that preclude the need to discuss work earnings with my former colleagues. Ever since I went out on my own as well as working part time as an independent contractor I realized I had much lower overhead than most others in my field so I never brought the subject up or responded to questions regarding work income. I did try to help a few others who were struggling by explaining how to set up retirement plans and ways to cut expenses and how to properly bill for services.

When I previously worked in another field in industry I also saw salary surveys for others within my field with engineering or science degrees and B.S, M.S. and PhD degrees. Surveys were also broken down by size of company and type of product. No need for discussion there either. Although one colleague speculated that we were wealthy because we drove inexpensive old cars which she claimed was a sign of wealth in young couples. Alas our cover was blown. Although personally I think it was a sign of smarts.

sschullo · Post by **sschullo** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 8:54 am

qui wrote:I find this cultural divide to be incredibly interesting. I happen to work in a field where my salary is visible to anyone who cares to look, and I spend a considerable amount of time talking to other people in similar industries about compensation and benefits, taboo be damned. Awareness of salaries of others has helped several people I know secure better salaries for themselves than they would have without that information. Unless you're going to feel some sort of guilt for being successful (in which case, why would you feel that way? Do you not believe you're worth your salary?) I don't see why it's an issue.

I have a similar feeling. As a public school teacher I had no problem telling people how much I make. However, now that we own an expensive car, I never experienced so much attention over a car! When people ask how much did we pay, I am a bit conflicted. On one hand, we deserved that car as we saved and learned investing all these years and on the other, feel a bit vulnerable that I am being judged as a rich "silver spoon" or whatever or just plain stupid for paying so much. To deal with the later I invite them sit in the drivers seat and show them the dashboard features. Yes, we tell them either "too much" or what we paid, depending on the situation.

Makaveli · Post by **Makaveli** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 9:23 am

livesoft wrote:Here is an article on the subject in the NYTimes recently (Why you should tell your children how much you make):
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/01/your- ... -make.html

Couldn't agree more.

I had this talk with multiple people - whether to share financial information or not. One person said something interesting which I think holds some truth. How many times (when younger - since I don't think many people get asked this when older) does a friend or co-worker ask about some intimate details. Most, not all, are more comfortable revealing that information rather than their financial picture. Does that make sense? I feel like so many people make such a big deal about earnings. Yes it's touchy, I would never give exact figures, but what is wrong with a range? I view it as informational, educational, maybe even going to the extent of motivational. Glassdoor and other salary range websites are outdated, at least for the industry I work in. Determine where the question stems from - how will they use information they gather? For your gov't situation, it appears that keeping it light or opting not to share would have been the right call. For other situations I think the response depends on who's asking.

DonCamillo · Post by **DonCamillo** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 6:14 pm

SGM wrote:one colleague speculated that we were wealthy because we drove inexpensive old cars which she claimed was a sign of wealth in young couples. Alas our cover was blown. Although personally I think it was a sign of smarts.

Smarts may be a pretty good indicator of wealth. Especially the version of "smarts" that Bogleheads consider smart!

Wildebeest · Post by **Wildebeest** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 7:10 pm

Nobody has ever asked me, other then when I applied for lines of credit etc.

People have asked me what church I go to, where I come from etc and often they want to make a connection and I take it as such.

As to the money question, it really depends who asks.

If I feel that it would be helpful to the person asking the question, I would reply as is appropiate, and before answering I would try to find out what the question is about. They may want to know what somebody in my position can make, what I get for showing up to work, what bonuses / profits, margins and investment income etc. I had the same questions starting out and I would be happy to share

However if I feel the questoner is intrusive, does seem not have my best interest at heart, or I get a bad vibe, I would say that it is not something I am comfortable sharing.

EddyB · Post by **EddyB** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 7:20 pm

pennstater2005 wrote:I just make up a number that I think will bother them the most

"I haven't looked at the checks in years. I guess I could ask my tax guy."

czr · Post by **czr** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 9:48 pm

Glassdoor.com, my old friends. Information is power and corporations have the power now "man". You don't need unions to have equal ground.

Wricha · Post by **Wricha** » Wed Feb 04, 2015 10:23 pm

I got this line from the Dalai Lama. When someone ask you a question that creates a no win situation. Simple say. "Why do you ask?"

obgyn65 · Post by **obgyn65** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 4:24 am

I would say check the Internet, where average salaries for most professions are freely available.

gas_balloon · Post by **gas_balloon** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 5:00 am

My standard reply is "I make enough to feed my family thrice a day"

Howard Donnelly · Post by **Howard Donnelly** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 5:30 am

That's a bold, nosy question. How about just telling them it's none of their business?

obgyn65 · Post by **obgyn65** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 6:12 am

Too confrontational. No need to be, as some people may take this answer the wrong way.

Howard Donnelly wrote:That's a bold, nosy question. How about just telling them it's none of their business?

jfn111 · Post by **jfn111** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:27 am

The funny thing about salary questions is it doesn't tell the whole story. After college most of my friends went into IT sales. Their salaries were much higher then my mega corp, consumer goods, sales job. The difference was that I had a defined pension plus double digit yearly profit sharing contributions to my 401K.
They all scratched their heads when I retired at 55.

Logan T · Post by **Logan T** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:36 am

I've only had jobs where my pay range can be looked up online...a city job, another government job, and now a school district. I usually don't mind sharing my exact salary, but if anyone not close to me were to ask, I'd probably give them the starting pay for my job.

TRC · Post by **TRC** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:59 am

Just laugh it off and say "not nearly enough!".

DFrank · Post by **DFrank** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 10:18 am

livesoft wrote:Here is an article on the subject in the NYTimes recently (Why you should tell your children how much you make):
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/01/your- ... -make.html

I thought that was a great article.

I've never understood why there is such a taboo against talking about this subject. It's clear that for employers there are many pitfalls if employees share salary information, but it's equally clear that it can benefit employees in some situations.

reggiesimpson · Post by **reggiesimpson** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 10:23 am

"If I tell you I have to kill you"

cheese_breath · Post by **cheese_breath** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 10:46 am

"Nothing. Uncle Sam makes it all on his printing presses."

surfstar · Post by **surfstar** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 11:23 am

Local government - all our salaries are available easily on our website.

This transparency should prove helpful, as we are comparing compensation versus similar agencies in our area of the state, and are coming up short; so hopefully a raise will be forthcoming to narrow the gap

(but, its gov't, so I'm not holding my breath)

Stevedore · Post by **Stevedore** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 11:47 am

Mingus wrote:
robert88 wrote:
InvestorNewb wrote:It's a rude question for someone to ask in the first place. I would just say "it's personal" and leave it at that.
Since the people who were asking the question were government employees whose salary is a matter of public record down to the penny, they would probably find it bizarre that anyone would consider that question rude.
Not true. I'm a fed and would never fathom of asking one of the contractors what they make. It's a lot less than the GS pay scale. At least where I work. I was friends with a girl at work who was a contractor and she told me her contractor pay after she accepted a federal position.

From what I've seen, the fed/contractor comparison varies widely. I was a fed for 27 years, then a contractor for 17 more before I retired, so I saw things from both sides. When I left, I was being paid more than the highest paid fed in the building, a member of the Senior Executive Service. (I know because I saw one of his personnel actions on his secretary's desk)

I rarely, if ever, discussed salary with anyone. I did, however, tell my replacement when I retired how much I was making. We worked for the same contracting company, and I wanted him to know what to aim for in his next salary review. I think it helped him, & from what he says, it worked out well for him.

VictoriaF · Post by **VictoriaF** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 12:14 pm

surfstar wrote:Local government - all our salaries are available easily on our website.

In Federal government, the GS level is a common knowledge, but not the step. There is a significant difference between salaries of GS15/step-1 and GS15/step-10.

Victoria

kolea · Post by **kolea** » Thu Feb 05, 2015 11:52 pm

My response to that has been:

"The answer to that question will only result in one of us feeling bad about not making as much as the other one. So let's not go down that path."

BTW,I use the same response when someone asks what our net worth is.