Mastered Index Investing…Now For Investing in Kid(s)…

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
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ThreeScreens88
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Mastered Index Investing…Now For Investing in Kid(s)…

Post by ThreeScreens88 »

So, I’m good on index fund investing:

* 401k maxed x 2
* Backdoor Roth maxed x 2
* Income + Emergency Fund Maximized
* Debt Minimized

Now to figure out this parenting thing — particularly activities for one of my kids. I need the collective wisdom of this collectively wise group to help me find activities for my 6 year old (just turned 6 this month).

My two boys are barely a year apart and so we put them in the same activities. The younger one takes effortlessly to instruction and structured activities. The older one seems to hate it. Wants to swim until it’s time for swim lessons. Loves playing on the piano until it’s time for the piano instructor to teach him. Doesn’t want to hear a word from the soccer coach. He’s smart and intellectually curious — loves to explore everything around him, reads well, and by all indications is a perfectly balanced and intelligent little guy (confirmed by his teachers). He simply hates when play/activities are formalized through instruction (which seems problematic to me).

I try to teach him every day about the importance of learning and hard work. And I want him to reap the benefits of working his way through from novice to mastery of a particular subject as well as the benefits of engaging in structured extracurricular activities. But I’m wondering now if I’m pushing him too hard and those things are just not for him. And if not, what activities do exist for a child like him — who finds tremendous enjoyment in exploration.

Any suggestions? I’m thinking I can keep the younger one in traditional activities — swimming, golf, soccer, piano, etc. but I need to get creative about the older one’s activities. Any suggestions/ideas/thoughts?
Last edited by ThreeScreens88 on Tue Oct 26, 2021 7:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
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JoeRetire
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Re: Mastered Index Investing…Now For Investing in Kid(s)…

Post by JoeRetire »

ThreeScreens88 wrote: Tue Oct 26, 2021 6:34 amHe simply hates when play/activities are formalized through instruction (which seems problematic to me).

Any suggestions? I’m thinking I can keep the younger one in traditional activities — swimming, golf, soccer, piano, etc. but I need to get creative about the older one’s activities. Any suggestions/ideas/thoughts?
You seem to feel that formal instruction is necessary - even for play and activities. Your son is trying to teach you otherwise, but you don't seem to be listening.

Consider that "mastering parenting" isn't the same as "mastering index investing". Not all children like the same things and learn the same way.
This isn't just my wallet. It's an organizer, a memory and an old friend.
Topic Author
ThreeScreens88
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Re: Mastered Index Investing…Now For Investing in Kid(s)…

Post by ThreeScreens88 »

JoeRetire wrote: Tue Oct 26, 2021 6:47 am
ThreeScreens88 wrote: Tue Oct 26, 2021 6:34 amHe simply hates when play/activities are formalized through instruction (which seems problematic to me).

Any suggestions? I’m thinking I can keep the younger one in traditional activities — swimming, golf, soccer, piano, etc. but I need to get creative about the older one’s activities. Any suggestions/ideas/thoughts?
You seem to feel that formal instruction is necessary - even for play and activities. Your son is trying to teach you otherwise, but you don't seem to be listening.

Consider that "mastering parenting" isn't the same as "mastering index investing". Not all children like the same things and learn the same way.
Definitely listening which is why I’m asking for activity suggestions (he has no shortage of fun/play time at home and in our travels).
oldfatguy
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Re: Mastered Index Investing…Now For Investing in Kid(s)…

Post by oldfatguy »

ThreeScreens88 wrote: Tue Oct 26, 2021 6:34 am The younger one takes effortlessly to instruction and structured activities. The older one seems to hate it. Wants to swim until it’s time for swim lessons. Loves playing on the piano until it’s time for the piano instructor to teach him. Doesn’t want to hear a word from the soccer coach. He’s smart and intellectually curious — loves to explore everything around him, reads well, and by all indications is a perfectly balanced and intelligent little guy (confirmed by his teachers). He simply hates when play/activities are formalized through instruction (which seems problematic to me).

Sounds just like my daughter (9 now). Personally, I don't see it as a problem. I think her life is already structured enough with school.
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JoeRetire
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Re: Mastered Index Investing…Now For Investing in Kid(s)…

Post by JoeRetire »

ThreeScreens88 wrote: Tue Oct 26, 2021 7:35 am
JoeRetire wrote: Tue Oct 26, 2021 6:47 am
ThreeScreens88 wrote: Tue Oct 26, 2021 6:34 amHe simply hates when play/activities are formalized through instruction (which seems problematic to me).

Any suggestions? I’m thinking I can keep the younger one in traditional activities — swimming, golf, soccer, piano, etc. but I need to get creative about the older one’s activities. Any suggestions/ideas/thoughts?
You seem to feel that formal instruction is necessary - even for play and activities. Your son is trying to teach you otherwise, but you don't seem to be listening.

Consider that "mastering parenting" isn't the same as "mastering index investing". Not all children like the same things and learn the same way.
Definitely listening which is why I’m asking for activity suggestions (he has no shortage of fun/play time at home and in our travels).
Ask him what he would like to do. Probably something like swimming, golf, pickup soccer, piano, etc - everything he likes to do, but without the structure and formalized instruction.

Not all children need formal, structured "activities".
This isn't just my wallet. It's an organizer, a memory and an old friend.
Vogatrice
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Re: Mastered Index Investing…Now For Investing in Kid(s)…

Post by Vogatrice »

I had this same situation with my two. The older one loved, needed, thrived in structured activities and was a screaming flailing mess in unstructured activities, disrupting everyone around her. The younger one was just the opposite. She hated the structure and also hated being "visible" i.e., demonstrating skills in front of others. This is tough for working parents from a purely logistical perspective - it's so much easier if they are in the same things.

I will confess I didn't ever really find the best activities for the younger one. She was happiest with her friends, doing art alone or running alone. After watching her clinging to the walls by her fingernails to avoid being dragged out of the locker room for swimming practice etc., I eventually let her be. I was a slow learner so I kept trying art lessons or similar, but really she needed to not perform in front of others. She was a better athlete and artist than the older one but would not be seen trying to achieve lest she ever be seen as less than perfect.

Both had challenges - but not the same ones - I guess that's what parenting looks like. My only two cents is to try to understand the differences and the reasons in their heads for their own preferences and try to meet them as best you can. I spent too much time doing square peg/round hole things with my kids and it was not successful.
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BrooklynInvest
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Re: Mastered Index Investing…Now For Investing in Kid(s)…

Post by BrooklynInvest »

If it's a help OP....

My boy's quite a bit younger. His attention span for "organized" activities is pretty short. One class he enjoyed is art. Mostly it's him making a beautiful mess with paint over every available surface, with a little gentle instruction from the teacher once in a while. I'd call it lightly structured.
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