Mattress Debacle

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SanAntionetta
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Mattress Debacle

Post by SanAntionetta »

My husband is having issues IRO sleep. We had bought a nice memory foam mattress that was like sleeping on a cloud nine years ago but we were both starting to feel pain while sleeping.

First we tried a mattress in a box, and it was a disaster, and we returned it.

Next we went to a mattress store, and dropped $4K on a plush mattress. It was really comfortable at the store but not so much at home. It has buttons so there are divots all over the mattress. He complains of serious back pain (although I'm fine) and just can't' get comfortable. Despite the mattress salesman saying that we had 90 day timetable to return the mattress, now suddenly we can't return it but after some haranguing they will accept it as an exchange but we have to exchange it for a mattress that is the same or a higher price.

He is about 190# with a large midsection, I am 135# without a lot of fluff. I'm sharing because larger people need firmer mattresses apparently?

We are going back to the store later today to try some mattresses without the kids. Does anyone have any advice in dealing with this situation? The mattress we got was one of the most expensive so we don't have a lot of options at the store. Of course I price checked last night and the prices at the store are much higher than on the manufacturers' websites.
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Sandtrap
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by Sandtrap »

Call your credit card company to see if you can get a full refund because the store said that but did not.
This will give you better shopping options.

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squirm
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by squirm »

What does the return policy state?
What is "suddenly you can't return it" mean, why is that? Did something happen to the mattress? Is it under or over 90 days?
Last edited by squirm on Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
Jags4186
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by Jags4186 »

What Mattress in box did you try? We bought a Casper Wave Hybrid and love it. I can’t feel my wife move around and there’s no more “dip”. I weigh about 70lbs more than my wife.

It retails for about $3k but after stacking various coupons and promos I think we spent about $2200. Weighs a ton.
neilpilot
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by neilpilot »

I consider a mattress that's "plush" or one that's "like sleeping on a cloud" a recipe for back pain. In my opinion, the firmer the better.
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SanAntionetta
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by SanAntionetta »

squirm wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:35 am What does the return policy state?
What is "suddenly you can't return it" mean, why is that? Did something happen to the mattress? Is it under or over 90 days?
Bait & Switch between what the salesperson told us and what is in their written policy. There is nothing wrong with the mattress and we are under 90 days. I should have read their policy but my husband checked us out as I was wrangling our 1 & 4 year olds.
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SanAntionetta
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by SanAntionetta »

Sandtrap wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:28 am Call your credit card company to see if you can get a full refund because the store said that but did not.
This will give you better shopping options.

j🌺
I will have my husband call (it's his card). I did check the benefits of the card and didn't see any protections applicable, there was some purchase protection but it was limited to $500.
squirm
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by squirm »

SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:31 am
squirm wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:35 am What does the return policy state?
What is "suddenly you can't return it" mean, why is that? Did something happen to the mattress? Is it under or over 90 days?
Bait & Switch between what the salesperson told us and what is in their written policy. There is nothing wrong with the mattress and we are under 90 days. I should have read their policy but my husband checked us out as I was wrangling our 1 & 4 year olds.
You might have to cough it up as a lesson. When I buy a mattress (bad back too), when I go into the store, I say to the rep "Let's sit down and review the mattress policy before I look around". The return policy is the most important part, at least for me because my back is very finicky.

I would talk to the store manager, politely, and see what he/she can do, if anything.
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SanAntionetta
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by SanAntionetta »

squirm wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:34 am
SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:31 am
squirm wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:35 am What does the return policy state?
What is "suddenly you can't return it" mean, why is that? Did something happen to the mattress? Is it under or over 90 days?
Bait & Switch between what the salesperson told us and what is in their written policy. There is nothing wrong with the mattress and we are under 90 days. I should have read their policy but my husband checked us out as I was wrangling our 1 & 4 year olds.
You might have to cough it up as a lesson. When I buy a mattress (bad back too), when I go into the store, I say to the rep "Let's sit down and review the mattress policy before I look around". The return policy is the most important part, at least for me because my back is very finicky.

I would talk to the store manager, politely, and see what he/she can do.
Tough lesson for sure. I will just shop at Costco from now on. My husband was adamant about trying it out first but its so difficult to understand how comfortable something is sleeping from just laying on it for a minute.. At least they said we could exchange for a different mattress, for an "exchange" fee of $170. We are going in without the kids and hopefully can find something that works better for him.
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galawdawg
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by galawdawg »

SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:31 am
squirm wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:35 am What does the return policy state?
What is "suddenly you can't return it" mean, why is that? Did something happen to the mattress? Is it under or over 90 days?
Bait & Switch between what the salesperson told us and what is in their written policy. There is nothing wrong with the mattress and we are under 90 days. I should have read their policy but my husband checked us out as I was wrangling our 1 & 4 year olds.
Obviously It pays to read the return policy if you even think you may need to return a purchase. It is highly unlikely that you would be successful with your credit card issuer given their written return policy and their offer to provide you a credit towards another purchase.

You may wish to consider a firmer mattress without the fancy plush pillowtop (which may compress and become uncomfortable in a relatively short period of time). If the store sells natural latex mattresses, you may wish to give one of those a try. If it is too firm, a memory foam mattress topper would be good to add. If the cost of a natural latex mattress and memory foam topper does not reach the amount of the credit, perhaps they would allow you to apply any remaining credit to a new mattress for one or both kids!

Good luck!
jumbopapa
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by jumbopapa »

I will say that a plush mattresses feel the most comfortable when just laying for a short period of time. However, the softness takes a toll on you over an entire night of sleep, hence the back pain. You need a firm mattress that actually supports your weight.
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SanAntionetta
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by SanAntionetta »

galawdawg wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:50 am
SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:31 am
squirm wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:35 am What does the return policy state?
What is "suddenly you can't return it" mean, why is that? Did something happen to the mattress? Is it under or over 90 days?
Bait & Switch between what the salesperson told us and what is in their written policy. There is nothing wrong with the mattress and we are under 90 days. I should have read their policy but my husband checked us out as I was wrangling our 1 & 4 year olds.
Obviously It pays to read the return policy if you even think you may need to return a purchase. It is highly unlikely that you would be successful with your credit card issuer given their written return policy and their offer to provide you a credit towards another purchase.

You may wish to consider a firmer mattress without the fancy plush pillowtop (which may compress and become uncomfortable in a relatively short period of time). If the store sells natural latex mattresses, you may wish to give one of those a try. If it is too firm, a memory foam mattress topper would be good to add. If the cost of a natural latex mattress and memory foam topper does not reach the amount of the credit, perhaps they would allow you to apply any remaining credit to a new mattress for one or both kids!

Good luck!
As a fellow lawyer I'm totally embarrassed that this happened. The bolded part is a really good point which I will try. The youngest is obviously still in a crib but will need a real mattress at some point and my oldest is using a crummy IKEA mattress right now.
jumbopapa wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:52 am I will say that a plush mattresses feel the most comfortable when just laying for a short period of time. However, the softness takes a toll on you over an entire night of sleep, hence the back pain. You need a firm mattress that actually supports your weight.
I think the difference in weights is causing issue between my husband and I. But the mattress-in-a-box we got was firm and we both hated it. I need to sink in. I am really comfortable in this mattress (and our old one for that matter). I suggested even buying two twin mattresses, one he likes and one I like - maybe the folks in the 50s had it right :?
squirm
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by squirm »

The reason why I first read the return policy is because even though I lay on the mattress for fifteen minutes in the store trying to get a sense how my back will feel by the middle of the night, it's still iffy at best. It really takes a few weeks to figure out if my back will adjust to it or not.
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by neilpilot »

SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:58 am
I think the difference in weights is causing issue between my husband and I. But the mattress-in-a-box we got was firm and we both hated it. I need to sink in. I am really comfortable in this mattress (and our old one for that matter). I suggested even buying two twin mattresses, one he likes and one I like - maybe the folks in the 50s had it right :?
If you have a king frame, then 2 TwinXL mattresses are the same length and will only overhang by 1" on each side. :twisted:
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LilyFleur
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by LilyFleur »

I have had great luck with an inexpensive 3" traditional foam (not memory foam) mattress topper from Amazon. I'm 5/7", weigh 130, thin with some arthritis. I have an expensive latex foam mattress that had a nice soft top layer (got it in 2016) but it isn't soft anymore. If I had to redo all this, I'd just get a regular mattress at Costco and make it comfortable with a topper.
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riverant
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by riverant »

jumbopapa wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:52 am I will say that a plush mattresses feel the most comfortable when just laying for a short period of time. However, the softness takes a toll on you over an entire night of sleep, hence the back pain. You need a firm mattress that actually supports your weight.
Mattresses have a comfort layer and support layer. The support layer needs to be firm enough to support weight and keep your spine in alignment. The comfort layer is more personal preference. It’s totally possible to have a “plush” mattress with firm support.

The problem with the storefront mattress industry is a a complete separation of transparency, marketing, and price vs quality.
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ResearchMed
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by ResearchMed »

neilpilot wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:41 am
SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:58 am
I think the difference in weights is causing issue between my husband and I. But the mattress-in-a-box we got was firm and we both hated it. I need to sink in. I am really comfortable in this mattress (and our old one for that matter). I suggested even buying two twin mattresses, one he likes and one I like - maybe the folks in the 50s had it right :?
If you have a king frame, then 2 TwinXL mattresses are the same length and will only overhang by 1" on each side. :twisted:
Don't they ("someone") make "split kings", with mattresses separate just like the box springs usually are?
(I think some are starting to make "split queens" for this reason.)

But then, I also thought that 2xTwinXL would be precisely the size of a King.

Either way, this should work really well in your situation.

RM
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SanAntionetta
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by SanAntionetta »

We ended up finding something that worked really well (we think!) and although it was $1000 cheaper we ended up also getting my daughter her first big girl bed size full thrown in and just paid the exchange fee. Hopefully we like this one better and I’m feeling like we didn’t get totally ripped off at least 😅
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galawdawg
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by galawdawg »

Great, fingers crossed that it does the trick!

(And next time, let hubby wrangle the kids while the lawyer in the family reads the fine print!) :wink:
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scorcher31
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by scorcher31 »

Glad to hear it worked out. We went with a casper through Costco and like it. We figured between casper and Costco warranty someone would take it back if we didn't like it. I'd be curious to know about your mattress in a box disaster. They all seem to have great return policies.

Just to let you know the boxed mattresses have some good variety, our child got a natural bed from Brentwood homes super firm compared to our casper but I actually like it as well.
wfrobinette
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by wfrobinette »

neilpilot wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:25 am I consider a mattress that's "plush" or one that's "like sleeping on a cloud" a recipe for back pain. In my opinion, the firmer the better.
I found the opposite to be true for me. Though I use 100% latex mattresses.
Gundy
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by Gundy »

What's IRO?
"I look at a hundred deals a day. I pick one." -Gordon Gekko
wfrobinette
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by wfrobinette »

SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 6:46 am My husband is having issues IRO sleep. We had bought a nice memory foam mattress that was like sleeping on a cloud nine years ago but we were both starting to feel pain while sleeping.

First we tried a mattress in a box, and it was a disaster, and we returned it.

Next we went to a mattress store, and dropped $4K on a plush mattress. It was really comfortable at the store but not so much at home. It has buttons so there are divots all over the mattress. He complains of serious back pain (although I'm fine) and just can't' get comfortable. Despite the mattress salesman saying that we had 90 day timetable to return the mattress, now suddenly we can't return it but after some haranguing they will accept it as an exchange but we have to exchange it for a mattress that is the same or a higher price.

He is about 190# with a large midsection, I am 135# without a lot of fluff. I'm sharing because larger people need firmer mattresses apparently?

We are going back to the store later today to try some mattresses without the kids. Does anyone have any advice in dealing with this situation? The mattress we got was one of the most expensive so we don't have a lot of options at the store. Of course I price checked last night and the prices at the store are much higher than on the manufacturers' websites.
it's all based on weight. No matter which way you slice a 135lb woman and a 195lb man have different support needs.

Split kings and made to order 100% latex mattresses can be tailored to anyone's liking and are usually way cheaper than any mattress store plus they last years longer than the junk sold at most mattress stores. AZ premium mattress has great prices and great quality stuff.
Hikes_With_Dogs
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by Hikes_With_Dogs »

SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:40 am
squirm wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:34 am
SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:31 am
squirm wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:35 am What does the return policy state?
What is "suddenly you can't return it" mean, why is that? Did something happen to the mattress? Is it under or over 90 days?
Bait & Switch between what the salesperson told us and what is in their written policy. There is nothing wrong with the mattress and we are under 90 days. I should have read their policy but my husband checked us out as I was wrangling our 1 & 4 year olds.
You might have to cough it up as a lesson. When I buy a mattress (bad back too), when I go into the store, I say to the rep "Let's sit down and review the mattress policy before I look around". The return policy is the most important part, at least for me because my back is very finicky.

I would talk to the store manager, politely, and see what he/she can do.
Tough lesson for sure. I will just shop at Costco from now on. My husband was adamant about trying it out first but its so difficult to understand how comfortable something is sleeping from just laying on it for a minute.. At least they said we could exchange for a different mattress, for an "exchange" fee of $170. We are going in without the kids and hopefully can find something that works better for him.
"I can't wait to tell everyone on Yelp, Facebook, and Twitter about your 'awesome' return policy and 'exchange fee' not to mention the 'excellent' customer service...."
egrets
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by egrets »

I think it is impossible to tell about a mattress in ten minutes in a store. I am about to buy a new mattress from the people who supply them to the local Marriott where I occasionally stay when a hurricane is coming towards my house.
rich126
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by rich126 »

egrets wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 2:00 pm I think it is impossible to tell about a mattress in ten minutes in a store. I am about to buy a new mattress from the people who supply them to the local Marriott where I occasionally stay when a hurricane is coming towards my house.
We will need a new mattress and the one used at the Hiltons I've stayed at seems to be solid so I may be doing a similar thing. When I was younger I just bought any half decent thing but now with back issues, and dealing with motion on a mattress (our current one seems to amplify any motion on the bed) it is more important to test them out.
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F150HD
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by F150HD »

some states have laws disallowing the return of a mattress, while some do not (my experience).
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by duffyinvestor »

Don't feel too bad. This is a pretty normal process at furniture stores (or I at least went through almost the exact same thing). Too soft Stearns and Foster (those divots ARE annoying) that cost more than the next one we traded it in for. Got an extra desk and a lamp with the credit. Oh well. I imagine you would have a similar experience at MOST furniture stores, they certainly don't want to make the process of returning a mattress free or easy.
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by quantAndHold »

Gundy wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 1:46 pmWhat's IRO?
Google tells me it might be “in respect of”. Or else it’s a typo. Either way, the rest of the post makes sense, so I didn’t worry about it for too long.
Rdytoretire
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by Rdytoretire »

Maybe the husbands back pain is not due to the mattresss. You may want to consider other possible causes.
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by abner kravitz »

neilpilot wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:41 am
SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:58 am
I think the difference in weights is causing issue between my husband and I. But the mattress-in-a-box we got was firm and we both hated it. I need to sink in. I am really comfortable in this mattress (and our old one for that matter). I suggested even buying two twin mattresses, one he likes and one I like - maybe the folks in the 50s had it right :?
If you have a king frame, then 2 TwinXL mattresses are the same length and will only overhang by 1" on each side. :twisted:
My two twin XLs fit perfectly into the king frame.
pennywise
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by pennywise »

neilpilot wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:41 am If you have a king frame, then 2 TwinXL mattresses are the same length and will only overhang by 1" on each side. :twisted:
Actually two extra-long twin mattress are the same length and width as a king, there's no overhang.

Twin X-Long: 38” x 80”
King: 76" x 80"

My husband and I slept with this configuration for years for the same reasons as OP (wildly varying preferences on mattress firmness), it works fine and you can buy a foam piece to place between the mattresses, underneath the mattress pad so there's no 'gap'.

There's also IMO a slight misunderstanding about modern mattresses, especially hybrids: you can indeed get the combination of a very plush, soft upper level with a good solid firm layer underneath.

I'm small boned and thin; hard mattresses literally make my bones ache. I have been buying online from Brooklyn Bedding for years and sleep on exactly that configuration-they offer soft/medium/firm and a soft is perfectly comfortable without any problems sinking in or lacking support.

Back in the day I think many folks equated a soft mattress to one that was so old and well worn that it no longer had any firmness or support...that's not true now.
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by Dottie57 »

squirm wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:41 am The reason why I first read the return policy is because even though I lay on the mattress for fifteen minutes in the store trying to get a sense how my back will feel by the middle of the night, it's still iffy at best. It really takes a few weeks to figure out if my back will adjust to it or not.
I’ve generally found that the mattresses on the floor are softer than the one that is delivered to your home. I bought a mattress 10 years ago when I was having physical problems. I bought a sleep number. I love it because I can changethe firmness. My range is between 40 and 75. Love adjusting it to the needs of my back on any given night.
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mrspock
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by mrspock »

Yup me trick I use, is take note of the mattress at a hotel you slept on and had a great sleep. Then go buy the consumer version of that.

I travel a lot so this is what I did. You can at least test them this way for 7-14 days.
protagonist
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by protagonist »

SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 6:46 am Does anyone have any advice in dealing with this situation?
San Antonetta, I can only tell you my own strategy that worked.

Go into a local mattress store and try all their mattresses, but don't buy anything. Find the one you really like best and write down all its specs. The people at the store may be reluctant to give them to you....if so try looking them up online. Avoid all sales pitches....mattress shopping can be a nightmare, esp at national chain stores where they tend to obfuscate everything. Maybe you are lucky enough to have a local dealer that might be more honest with you. Make sure you BOTH lie on the mattresses together in the showroom, and take your time.
Then go online and do a lot of research on lots of mattress review sites, realizing that you may be exposed to a lot of misinformation due to sponsoring issues (as stated on this site https://www.goodbed.com/guides/biased-m ... -websites/), but at least you can filter through it and hopefully learn something. In fact, do this BEFORE you go to the showroom to try the mattresses so that you learn which specs are important and what questions to ask. It will be time-consuming, but you will spend (hopefully) close to a third of your life on a mattress so it is time well spent.
Then order your mattress online when you find one whose specs most closely compare with the one you liked best. It will prob. be a lot cheaper than the one you liked at the mattress store.

Consider a latex mattress (vs. memory foam). They last forever, don't require a boxspring, are hypoallergenic and you may find them really comfy. They come in all levels of softness/firmness and are very supportive. We love them, and the process described above worked for us.
Last edited by protagonist on Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
protagonist
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by protagonist »

ResearchMed wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 12:00 pm
neilpilot wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:41 am
SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:58 am
I think the difference in weights is causing issue between my husband and I. But the mattress-in-a-box we got was firm and we both hated it. I need to sink in. I am really comfortable in this mattress (and our old one for that matter). I suggested even buying two twin mattresses, one he likes and one I like - maybe the folks in the 50s had it right :?
If you have a king frame, then 2 TwinXL mattresses are the same length and will only overhang by 1" on each side. :twisted:
Don't they ("someone") make "split kings", with mattresses separate just like the box springs usually are?
(I think some are starting to make "split queens" for this reason.)

But then, I also thought that 2xTwinXL would be precisely the size of a King.

Either way, this should work really well in your situation.

RM
My mom had a king size boxspring with 2 twin mattresses on it (I guess they were twins)....
Works fine if you don't wiggle around much and don't sleep cuddled together. For couples like Rich and Laura Petrie, who either had intimacy issues or were forced to by TV censorship laws, it's ideal. Otherwise that bump in the middle is quite palpable.
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ResearchMed
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Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by ResearchMed »

protagonist wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:05 pm
ResearchMed wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 12:00 pm
neilpilot wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:41 am
SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:58 am
I think the difference in weights is causing issue between my husband and I. But the mattress-in-a-box we got was firm and we both hated it. I need to sink in. I am really comfortable in this mattress (and our old one for that matter). I suggested even buying two twin mattresses, one he likes and one I like - maybe the folks in the 50s had it right :?
If you have a king frame, then 2 TwinXL mattresses are the same length and will only overhang by 1" on each side. :twisted:
Don't they ("someone") make "split kings", with mattresses separate just like the box springs usually are?
(I think some are starting to make "split queens" for this reason.)

But then, I also thought that 2xTwinXL would be precisely the size of a King.

Either way, this should work really well in your situation.

RM
My mom had a king size boxspring with 2 twin mattresses on it (I guess they were twins)....
Works fine if you don't wiggle around much and don't sleep cuddled together. For couples like Rich and Laura Petrie, who either had intimacy issues or were forced to by TV censorship laws, it's ideal. Otherwise that bump in the middle is quite palpable.
I haven't used these, but there are foam (or other material?) "thingies" (technical term) that are meant to bridge the gap between two mattresses used this way. There is a strip down the middle, and then it thins out within a couple of inches on each side, also all the way down.

I don't know how they work, but using something like that along with a nice mattress pad... would that work?

And there must be (?) some sort of device, other than a few straps (or are those sufficient?), to help keep the two mattresses together, so they don't slowly (or not so slowly) drift apart...?

RM
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Topic Author
SanAntionetta
Posts: 215
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 1:42 pm

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by SanAntionetta »

The mattress we ended up with was a medium and it is a lot like one we originally had (and I still love and is now our guest bed). I asked the salesman for a similar mattress and he said now that I am older and have kids that mattress doesn’t work for me anymore and I need something softer. What a load of crap.

Next time I will try the two twin-Xl idea especially if my husband keeps putting on weight. Obviously this is a different problem but far outside the realm of boglehead advice. The sleep issues could also be somewhat related to other physical problems and stress/anxiety, although he swears he isn’t stressed out lately.
Dottie57 wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 6:42 pm [quote=squirm post_id=6083931 time=<a href="tel:1624552865">1624552865</a> user_id=25274]
The reason why I first read the return policy is because even though I lay on the mattress for fifteen minutes in the store trying to get a sense how my back will feel by the middle of the night, it's still iffy at best. It really takes a few weeks to figure out if my back will adjust to it or not.
I’ve generally found that the mattresses on the floor are softer than the one that is delivered to your home. I bought a mattress 10 years ago when I was having physical problems. I bought a sleep number. I love it because I can changethe firmness. My range is between 40 and 75. Love adjusting it to the needs of my back on any given night.
[/quote]

Absolutely. We tried the bed we bought at the store again and it was SO comfortable. Very frustrating.
quantAndHold wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 4:40 pm [quote=Gundy post_id=6084181 time=<a href="tel:1624560402">1624560402</a> user_id=168654]What's IRO?
Google tells me it might be “in respect of”. Or else it’s a typo. Either way, the rest of the post makes sense, so I didn’t worry about it for too long.
[/quote]

Bingo. Sorry - we use that acronym at work constantly so I just assume people know what it means.
egrets wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 2:00 pm I think it is impossible to tell about a mattress in ten minutes in a store. I am about to buy a new mattress from the people who supply them to the local Marriott where I occasionally stay when a hurricane is coming towards my house.
A hotel sounds so nice right now. That is a good plan. I don’t expect we will be traveling for a bit but next time I go mattress shopping I will remember to do this.
protagonist
Posts: 9242
Joined: Sun Dec 26, 2010 11:47 am

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by protagonist »

ResearchMed wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:16 pm
protagonist wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:05 pm
ResearchMed wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 12:00 pm
neilpilot wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:41 am
SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:58 am
I think the difference in weights is causing issue between my husband and I. But the mattress-in-a-box we got was firm and we both hated it. I need to sink in. I am really comfortable in this mattress (and our old one for that matter). I suggested even buying two twin mattresses, one he likes and one I like - maybe the folks in the 50s had it right :?
If you have a king frame, then 2 TwinXL mattresses are the same length and will only overhang by 1" on each side. :twisted:
Don't they ("someone") make "split kings", with mattresses separate just like the box springs usually are?
(I think some are starting to make "split queens" for this reason.)

But then, I also thought that 2xTwinXL would be precisely the size of a King.

Either way, this should work really well in your situation.

RM
My mom had a king size boxspring with 2 twin mattresses on it (I guess they were twins)....
Works fine if you don't wiggle around much and don't sleep cuddled together. For couples like Rich and Laura Petrie, who either had intimacy issues or were forced to by TV censorship laws, it's ideal. Otherwise that bump in the middle is quite palpable.
I haven't used these, but there are foam (or other material?) "thingies" (technical term) that are meant to bridge the gap between two mattresses used this way. There is a strip down the middle, and then it thins out within a couple of inches on each side, also all the way down.

I don't know how they work, but using something like that along with a nice mattress pad... would that work?

And there must be (?) some sort of device, other than a few straps (or are those sufficient?), to help keep the two mattresses together, so they don't slowly (or not so slowly) drift apart...?

RM

I would think that a nice mattress pad would work.
I inherited my mom's condo and her bed in 2005. For all I know she may have been lying on it when she watched Apollo 11 land on the moon. I imagine mattress tech has made progress since my mom bought her bed. So take my comments above with a grain of salt.
User avatar
ResearchMed
Posts: 16767
Joined: Fri Dec 26, 2008 10:25 pm

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by ResearchMed »

SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:30 pm I asked the salesman for a similar mattress and he said now that I am older and have kids that mattress doesn’t work for me anymore and I need something softer.
:shock:

This might just take the biscuit for sales-talk mumbo jumbo.

RM
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chw
Posts: 1315
Joined: Thu May 24, 2012 4:22 pm

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by chw »

I just bought the Purple Premier 3 Hybrid. It is a different type of mattress- if feels firm, but plush at same time. Some retailers carry in their stores, but Purple has a generous return policy.

Might be worth checking out….
kimura king
Posts: 264
Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2019 3:59 pm

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by kimura king »

delete
Last edited by kimura king on Fri Oct 01, 2021 8:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
jackbeagle
Posts: 157
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2021 4:22 pm

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by jackbeagle »

We settled on a mattress from Macy's that was $1199 for a King. Softest one we could find in that price range, memory foam pillow top, about 15" thick. The $3500 Beautyrest mattresses were comparable in plushness, but NOT more so.

It's probably called something different now, but if you're unable to get a cash refund, search this store's website by size, softness, and sort ascending by price. Start there!
squirm
Posts: 4239
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2011 11:53 am

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by squirm »

Dottie57 wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 6:42 pm
squirm wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:41 am The reason why I first read the return policy is because even though I lay on the mattress for fifteen minutes in the store trying to get a sense how my back will feel by the middle of the night, it's still iffy at best. It really takes a few weeks to figure out if my back will adjust to it or not.
I’ve generally found that the mattresses on the floor are softer than the one that is delivered to your home. I bought a mattress 10 years ago when I was having physical problems. I bought a sleep number. I love it because I can changethe firmness. My range is between 40 and 75. Love adjusting it to the needs of my back on any given night.
Wife and I have been thinking of the Sleep Number too. Which model do you have?
Topic Author
SanAntionetta
Posts: 215
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 1:42 pm

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by SanAntionetta »

kimura king wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 9:58 pm I got a winkbed mattress and very happy but also considered a purple and a saatva. Here is ours - https://www.winkbeds.com/pages/shop-winkbed

Good luck, keep taking it back or get it returned until you get one you like. It is a big purchase and most places offer 90-120 day risk free trial.
They told us that they won’t let us return the mattress we got in exchange - final sale. It is pretty terrible. Again I will never go back to this store.

I have always been interested in a sleep number.
dknightd
Posts: 3715
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2018 10:57 am

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by dknightd »

We have a sleep number. The display does not work anymore, I should see if I can get that fixed. I'll add it to my to do list, but honestly the number does not matter. Just inflate, or deflate, as desired - which frankly is not very often. It is an old basic model. We were thinking about replacing it with something newer, since the foam had collapsed after years of use. I was delighted to find they still sell replacement foam for our old bed.

I would see if the mattress store sold other furniture. Perhaps you could trade your old/new mattress for a couch or something. Maybe something you do not need to sleep, or sit on.
Retired 2019. So far, so good. I want to wake up every morning. But I want to die in my sleep. Just another conundrum. I think the solution might be afternoon naps ;)
livelovelaugh00
Posts: 241
Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2016 7:15 pm

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by livelovelaugh00 »

neilpilot wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:25 am I consider a mattress that's "plush" or one that's "like sleeping on a cloud" a recipe for back pain. In my opinion, the firmer the better.
Can't agree more.
livelovelaugh00
Posts: 241
Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2016 7:15 pm

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by livelovelaugh00 »

I spent a lot of time and money insisting a good night sleep. They say natural latex is good. I bought two raw twin xl extra firm latex matress to fit in king sized frame. Still too soft. They are still in storage room now. They say you have to try on a matress. We went to all major matress stores and ask to try on the firmest they got. So we bought Stearns & Foster McKee Luxury Ultra Firm Split California King Mattress. A week later, still not to my satisfaction. I was desperate. I felt the flush carpeted floor is the best. The Japanese way? Let's have a hybrid Japanese way. I bought 1/4 inch hardwood board and put on top of matress. I also bought Japanese cotton futon mattress (absolutely no foam) and put on top of the hardwood board. Wow, what a nice treat to my back. It's been three years of good night sleeps.
leftcoaster
Posts: 738
Joined: Mon Jul 23, 2007 4:04 pm

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by leftcoaster »

SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:58 am
galawdawg wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:50 am
SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:31 am
squirm wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:35 am What does the return policy state?
What is "suddenly you can't return it" mean, why is that? Did something happen to the mattress? Is it under or over 90 days?
Bait & Switch between what the salesperson told us and what is in their written policy. There is nothing wrong with the mattress and we are under 90 days. I should have read their policy but my husband checked us out as I was wrangling our 1 & 4 year olds.
Obviously It pays to read the return policy if you even think you may need to return a purchase. It is highly unlikely that you would be successful with your credit card issuer given their written return policy and their offer to provide you a credit towards another purchase.

You may wish to consider a firmer mattress without the fancy plush pillowtop (which may compress and become uncomfortable in a relatively short period of time). If the store sells natural latex mattresses, you may wish to give one of those a try. If it is too firm, a memory foam mattress topper would be good to add. If the cost of a natural latex mattress and memory foam topper does not reach the amount of the credit, perhaps they would allow you to apply any remaining credit to a new mattress for one or both kids!

Good luck!
As a fellow lawyer I'm totally embarrassed that this happened. The bolded part is a really good point which I will try. The youngest is obviously still in a crib but will need a real mattress at some point and my oldest is using a crummy IKEA mattress right now.
jumbopapa wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:52 am I will say that a plush mattresses feel the most comfortable when just laying for a short period of time. However, the softness takes a toll on you over an entire night of sleep, hence the back pain. You need a firm mattress that actually supports your weight.
I think the difference in weights is causing issue between my husband and I. But the mattress-in-a-box we got was firm and we both hated it. I need to sink in. I am really comfortable in this mattress (and our old one for that matter). I suggested even buying two twin mattresses, one he likes and one I like - maybe the folks in the 50s had it right :?
Latest mattresses can be arranged so that there are distinct sides with different firmness levels. Sleep EZ is a good source.
montanagirl
Posts: 1799
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 3:55 pm
Location: Montana

Re: Mattress Debacle

Post by montanagirl »

SanAntionetta wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 7:30 pm The mattress we ended up with was a medium and it is a lot like one we originally had (and I still love and is now our guest bed). I asked the salesman for a similar mattress and he said now that I am older and have kids that mattress doesn’t work for me anymore and I need something softer. What a load of crap.

Next time I will try the two twin-Xl idea especially if my husband keeps putting on weight. Obviously this is a different problem but far outside the realm of boglehead advice. The sleep issues could also be somewhat related to other physical problems and stress/anxiety, although he swears he isn’t stressed out lately.
Dottie57 wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 6:42 pm [quote=squirm post_id=6083931 time=<a href="tel:1624552865">1624552865</a> user_id=25274]
The reason why I first read the return policy is because even though I lay on the mattress for fifteen minutes in the store trying to get a sense how my back will feel by the middle of the night, it's still iffy at best. It really takes a few weeks to figure out if my back will adjust to it or not.
I’ve generally found that the mattresses on the floor are softer than the one that is delivered to your home. I bought a mattress 10 years ago when I was having physical problems. I bought a sleep number. I love it because I can changethe firmness. My range is between 40 and 75. Love adjusting it to the needs of my back on any given night.
Absolutely. We tried the bed we bought at the store again and it was SO comfortable. Very frustrating.
quantAndHold wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 4:40 pm [quote=Gundy post_id=6084181 time=<a href="tel:1624560402">1624560402</a> user_id=168654]What's IRO?
Google tells me it might be “in respect of”. Or else it’s a typo. Either way, the rest of the post makes sense, so I didn’t worry about it for too long.
[/quote]

Bingo. Sorry - we use that acronym at work constantly so I just assume people know what it means.
egrets wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 2:00 pm I think it is impossible to tell about a mattress in ten minutes in a store. I am about to buy a new mattress from the people who supply them to the local Marriott where I occasionally stay when a hurricane is coming towards my house.
A hotel sounds so nice right now. That is a good plan. I don’t expect we will be traveling for a bit but next time I go mattress shopping I will remember to do this.
[/quote]

I never have trouble with hotel beds but they're queen whereas I sleep on a twin at home tmand they're always harder.

I would love something soft in the middle
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