Convince me - for or against bigger home
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
I think you need to reconfigure your sleeping arrangements at a minimum and/or consider a different house. It sounds like you need more rooms. More rooms doesn’t need to translate to much bigger space. And why would you leave Redmond? They don’t have 4 bedroom homes there? If you could find a four bedroom in your area even within the same square footage, then you, kids, in-laws and prayer room would all have space.
I have to ask can the prayer room be converted to a prayer space in the den? I have friends who have a prayer area in their entry.
I have to ask can the prayer room be converted to a prayer space in the den? I have friends who have a prayer area in their entry.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Some thoughts:
• I do think you will benefit from having more personal space for you and your spouse. Getting kids out of bedroom.
• There are innumerable ways to more efficiently reconfigure your room situation to make it work. Most of your rooms are empty most of the week! You are smart enough to merit a huge salary and should be able to think up multiple potential solutions that you can discuss with your spouse to come up with one that you both agree on.
• A short commute is an invaluable luxury. I have never had more than a 10-15 minute commute my entire life. Burning up 1-2 hours a day commuting is a huge waste and says a lot about your priorities. It may not be the same status symbol as a big house & fancy car, but to my way of thinking, your time is more valuable than all of those items of conspicuous consumption.
• Have spouse read this discussion string.
• YMMV
• I do think you will benefit from having more personal space for you and your spouse. Getting kids out of bedroom.
• There are innumerable ways to more efficiently reconfigure your room situation to make it work. Most of your rooms are empty most of the week! You are smart enough to merit a huge salary and should be able to think up multiple potential solutions that you can discuss with your spouse to come up with one that you both agree on.
• A short commute is an invaluable luxury. I have never had more than a 10-15 minute commute my entire life. Burning up 1-2 hours a day commuting is a huge waste and says a lot about your priorities. It may not be the same status symbol as a big house & fancy car, but to my way of thinking, your time is more valuable than all of those items of conspicuous consumption.
• Have spouse read this discussion string.
• YMMV
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
I partially agree, but wastes are in part defined relative to priorities. There really are "city folk" and "country folk" and a range in between. I've observed that people who prefer city life often don't understand the priorities of those who prefer more rural settings, and vice versus.calmaniac wrote: ↑Thu Apr 16, 2020 7:14 am• A short commute is an invaluable luxury. I have never had more than a 10-15 minute commute my entire life. Burning up 1-2 hours a day commuting is a huge waste and says a lot about your priorities. It may not be the same status symbol as a big house & fancy car, but to my way of thinking, your time is more valuable than all of those items of conspicuous consumption.
For some of us, the locations where we can find suitable jobs and the locations where we can find suitable living arrangements are not the same, and it has absolutely nothing to do with status symbols, house size, or fancy cars (I'm speaking mainly for myself - there's plenty of people around me who seem more aligned with the status symbol mentality).
Personally, I was able to find a balance in my current situation at 30 minutes for my commute. One of my goals in my last two job searches was to avoid companies located in the middle of a major metropolitan area to aid me in balancing my commute with my lifestyle.
I tried living closer to my job for several years, and it was very difficult. In fact, even the commute was mentally worse for me, despite taking less time, with it's stop and go rhythm and more frequent encounters with aggressive drivers. The time I saved getting home was wasted by the time I it took me to unwind from the negative experience of the drive, and by the fact that even at home I was in an environment not conducive to helping me unwind.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Fully agree on the bolded part ^calmaniac wrote: ↑Thu Apr 16, 2020 7:14 am Some thoughts:
• I do think you will benefit from having more personal space for you and your spouse. Getting kids out of bedroom.
• There are innumerable ways to more efficiently reconfigure your room situation to make it work. Most of your rooms are empty most of the week! You are smart enough to merit a huge salary and should be able to think up multiple potential solutions that you can discuss with your spouse to come up with one that you both agree on.
• A short commute is an invaluable luxury. I have never had more than a 10-15 minute commute my entire life. Burning up 1-2 hours a day commuting is a huge waste and says a lot about your priorities. It may not be the same status symbol as a big house & fancy car, but to my way of thinking, your time is more valuable than all of those items of conspicuous consumption.
• Have spouse read this discussion string.
• YMMV
Sitting in rush hour traffic at a short crawl to me is soul sucking. If at all possible I will do everything in my power to never have to do that again 5 days a week. A couple of times a month I can do, but every weekday is just not for me. I would rather live in a smaller home, or a more expensive home, or both to avoid commuting more. I love to drive and have taken many road trips. I also love to drive my sports coupe. But, rush hour traffic is miserable.
A time to EVALUATE your jitters: |
viewtopic.php?p=1139732#p1139732
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
As others pointed out, optimizing your current home may be the wisest choice. But you may need more space eventually. As the kids get bigger, the space gets smaller. And this isn't really a family of 4, since you have both sets of parents living with you part time; your space needs are more comparable to a family of 6-8.
I would not personally buy a larger home at this time - small homes have many advantages for small busy families, and we are most likely entering a protracted period of change and uncertainty. But for an extended family the math is different, and if the purchase of a larger place is inevitable it's not too early to start thinking about it. If you value and prioritize having a house large enough for both sets of parents to comfortably live with you, and don't mind the trade off of the commute, it may be the right decision.
For the record we lived 10 happy years in a 2000 sq ft home with a shared bedroom for the boys, a flex space/guest room for the inlaws, and a wonderfully short (walkable) commute. Around the halfway point the job location changed and our finances improved to where we could afford something larger, but although the house had significant downsides we were still happy there. Once puberty hit, the boys needed their own space to avoid fratricide (though I was also at risk of killing one of them just to be done with it) so we lost the guest room. Fine, the inlaws can get a hotel. But the finances were by this point even further improved, and soon after we reconfigured the bedrooms we stumbled upon the perfect house, more than 3000 sq ft with all the features we value, so we decided to go for it. Very happy with that decision, especially stuck at home. 5 years later the oldest is in college (currently home for covid) and his brother will soon follow, so the house will empty out. Maybe we'll downsize, maybe not. No need to decide now. We've done well with making tomorrow's decisions tomorrow.
Families at different stages have different priorities - things change. You do lose money to churn every time you buy and sell a house. So best to keep it well inside affordability.
I would not personally buy a larger home at this time - small homes have many advantages for small busy families, and we are most likely entering a protracted period of change and uncertainty. But for an extended family the math is different, and if the purchase of a larger place is inevitable it's not too early to start thinking about it. If you value and prioritize having a house large enough for both sets of parents to comfortably live with you, and don't mind the trade off of the commute, it may be the right decision.
For the record we lived 10 happy years in a 2000 sq ft home with a shared bedroom for the boys, a flex space/guest room for the inlaws, and a wonderfully short (walkable) commute. Around the halfway point the job location changed and our finances improved to where we could afford something larger, but although the house had significant downsides we were still happy there. Once puberty hit, the boys needed their own space to avoid fratricide (though I was also at risk of killing one of them just to be done with it) so we lost the guest room. Fine, the inlaws can get a hotel. But the finances were by this point even further improved, and soon after we reconfigured the bedrooms we stumbled upon the perfect house, more than 3000 sq ft with all the features we value, so we decided to go for it. Very happy with that decision, especially stuck at home. 5 years later the oldest is in college (currently home for covid) and his brother will soon follow, so the house will empty out. Maybe we'll downsize, maybe not. No need to decide now. We've done well with making tomorrow's decisions tomorrow.
Families at different stages have different priorities - things change. You do lose money to churn every time you buy and sell a house. So best to keep it well inside affordability.
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
You’re describing my house. it’s lovely now and for the next couple months, but then it will be 118 and it’s no fun anymore.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
If the prayer room is non-negotiable, I think you will need another room at some point. Doesn't have to be today, but you'll have to start thinking about it.
If you can swap the prayer room and the kids, then I think you can probably make it work.
Is adding a room to your house a feasible option? In high cost of living areas, it's usually a reasonable deal financially. When we bought our current house, it was around 2350 sq ft. We added an 850 sq ft addition that has it's own living area, bathroom and bedroom (an in-law suite essentially). The cost of the extension vs the value it added to our house is probably break even at minimum.
Though I will say, since we have had the extension completed (about 5 years now), we hardly ever step foot in it, lol. It still looks brand new. And our bedroom is way bigger than it needs to be. Which maybe goes toward the argument you don't really need more space. My sister-in-law and her family are a family of 4 in about 1500 sq ft, and they seem to be doing fine.
If you can swap the prayer room and the kids, then I think you can probably make it work.
Is adding a room to your house a feasible option? In high cost of living areas, it's usually a reasonable deal financially. When we bought our current house, it was around 2350 sq ft. We added an 850 sq ft addition that has it's own living area, bathroom and bedroom (an in-law suite essentially). The cost of the extension vs the value it added to our house is probably break even at minimum.
Though I will say, since we have had the extension completed (about 5 years now), we hardly ever step foot in it, lol. It still looks brand new. And our bedroom is way bigger than it needs to be. Which maybe goes toward the argument you don't really need more space. My sister-in-law and her family are a family of 4 in about 1500 sq ft, and they seem to be doing fine.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
A/C or get in the pool. Walk early. Not too many 118 days. 105 isn’t bad. It was 19 here this morning. Snowed yesterday. I’ll take too hot summers any day.SilverGirl wrote: ↑Thu Apr 16, 2020 6:27 pmYou’re describing my house. it’s lovely now and for the next couple months, but then it will be 118 and it’s no fun anymore.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
So - after some negotiations -
The ‘temple’ is moving into the study.
The ‘prayer room’ is now designated as the guest room.
The guest room - which already had the kids stuff in it is the kids room.
Whether the older one move into his room - or when he moves into that room is up to him - he has space now.
The younger one will move out when he’s ready - it’ll probably be a few years but we will see - He might go there sooner aping his older brother - or not.
A few hundred thousand dollars saved.
Nice therapy by this group.
I figure I’ll pay this house off more quickly instead -
Moving stocks to cash in taxable - bonds to stocks in retirement - and use that cash Position to Pay off home mortgage quickly - as long as I can still have a 100K or so as reserves...
No point getting 1.5% and pay 2.75%...
80/20 in retirement will become 100/0 - but if I consider mortgage as negative bond - I’m at 100/0 already so no big change...
The ‘temple’ is moving into the study.
The ‘prayer room’ is now designated as the guest room.
The guest room - which already had the kids stuff in it is the kids room.
Whether the older one move into his room - or when he moves into that room is up to him - he has space now.
The younger one will move out when he’s ready - it’ll probably be a few years but we will see - He might go there sooner aping his older brother - or not.
A few hundred thousand dollars saved.
Nice therapy by this group.
I figure I’ll pay this house off more quickly instead -
Moving stocks to cash in taxable - bonds to stocks in retirement - and use that cash Position to Pay off home mortgage quickly - as long as I can still have a 100K or so as reserves...
No point getting 1.5% and pay 2.75%...
80/20 in retirement will become 100/0 - but if I consider mortgage as negative bond - I’m at 100/0 already so no big change...
Last edited by m@ver1ck on Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
+1Nowizard wrote: ↑Wed Apr 15, 2020 10:50 am Two of us who are much older than you recently downsized to a smaller home that is still considerably larger than yours, so it probably depends more on psychological factors once you have determined the finances support a move. We would never live in a 2,000 sq. ft. home. We live in a low cost of living area, and it is very common for people who are empty nesters to live in 3,800 - 4,000 sf homes, even larger when children are growing up. Such homes would cost about 550 - 600K here, so homes are going to be much smaller where you live. Obviously, it is financially more likely to be recommended you stay where you are. Does larger house make up for longer commute, more maintenance, etc.? Other than that, you only live once, as has been said.
Tim
Family of 4 in 600 s.f. Many many decades ago.
Now retired empty nesters in 4500 s.f.
Counting our blessings.
OP: a larger but still affordable home would be good if you can easily pay for it.
j
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
I haven’t read all the responses, but I highly recommend the book “The Not So Big House” by Susan Susanka. She is an architect and the point of the book is that sometimes when we think we need a bigger house all we really need to do is rethink how the current space is used.
It was a great help to me when we were planning a home remodeling project. She doesn’t tell you what to do, but rather explains what you need to think about when evaluating your living space.
Good luck.
It was a great help to me when we were planning a home remodeling project. She doesn’t tell you what to do, but rather explains what you need to think about when evaluating your living space.
Good luck.
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
I don't know anything about your local area, but it seems like you can get a big house in Redmond in your price range. What about these places?
https://www.redfin.com/WA/Redmond/13430 ... ome/513528
https://www.redfin.com/WA/Redmond/9016- ... ome/444517
They're both too big for me personally, but might fit the bill for your family.
If I were in your shoes, I would be OK with a bigger house, but feel like you might be a little behind on your savings at your age and income.
https://www.redfin.com/WA/Redmond/13430 ... ome/513528
https://www.redfin.com/WA/Redmond/9016- ... ome/444517
They're both too big for me personally, but might fit the bill for your family.
If I were in your shoes, I would be OK with a bigger house, but feel like you might be a little behind on your savings at your age and income.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
I’m amazed at how aghast everyone is that the OP’s young children sleep in parents’ room. This is very common in many cultures, and was in the US too, up until recently. Most likely healthier for kids, and can often lead to everyone getting better sleep.
Question everything. Most parenting/educational norms are based on anything and everything other than what’s actually good for children’s development.
Question everything. Most parenting/educational norms are based on anything and everything other than what’s actually good for children’s development.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Sleeping alone in their cribs infants have a higher chance of SIDS than between parents - the mattress has to be super firm - and parents never inebriated - we’re teetotalers since many years now - so no biggie.
It’s only that once you have infants sleeping with you - it’s not until their 6-8 that you have any chance of convincing them to go to their own bed / or room.
It does play havoc with our schedule though.
In some respects - a large single bedroom home with a large living area and two bathrooms/showers would be plenty for us too.
It’s only that once you have infants sleeping with you - it’s not until their 6-8 that you have any chance of convincing them to go to their own bed / or room.
It does play havoc with our schedule though.
In some respects - a large single bedroom home with a large living area and two bathrooms/showers would be plenty for us too.
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
I view it as a compromise in how they use their space. That's hardly aghast. Keep in mind, the OP was the first person in the thread to express dissatisfaction with the arrangement, based on the actual experience.summit wrote: ↑Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:03 pm I’m amazed at how aghast everyone is that the OP’s young children sleep in parents’ room. This is very common in many cultures, and was in the US too, up until recently. Most likely healthier for kids, and can often lead to everyone getting better sleep.
Question everything. Most parenting/educational norms are based on anything and everything other than what’s actually good for children’s development.
As long as I'm being encouraged to question everything: For what reasons other than limited resources do parents choose minimal privacy from their children, and in which cultures where the resources exist to provide separate rooms is this "very common"?
How recently are you suggesting this was common in the US, again when not constrained by resources? I know of a range of anecdotes. Those who have read Wilder's Little House series are familiar with both a lack of resources meaning common shared space for all of Laura's family on the frontier, contrasted with private rooms for Almanzo's family in the much more established area of NY. I know of similar comparisons from my own family history - a 2-room cabin from the late 19th century is still standing on a distant relative's property here in the NW, while I believe similar aged, multi-bedroom homes are still in use on an uncle's property in Minnesota.
However, even in small cabins like I mention, it was common to make a loft accessible from the common room whenever possible for children to sleep in, or to build a lean-to addition as the family grew. As not many of the most basic early homes offered reason to be preserved, here's an example of what I suppose we might consider an upper middle class American home from right around 1700, with two bedrooms separate from the common areas:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Philip_Turner_House
I'll resist the temptation to venture down debating claims about health or the best method of raising children here, but I can say my sleep improved when we moved our older child to his own room. I suspect our younger child will soon reach a similar stage.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
One way or another, I'd reconfigure or move so the kids are not in your bedroom. I have three kids in a 3400 sq ft home (3 BR and one home office) and wish it were bigger. The kids (B, G, B; average age = 12) all share the same bedroom and master bathroom with no issues - yet. The advice about larger home = increased maintenance cost and/or time is accurate. You make enough to outsource the maintenance. Commutes suck, so that's a major consideration for you, OP.
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Want to FI and retire early? don't do lifestyle creep.
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
No way would I live in a 2000 square foot house. but a $1.5M house on a $350K income is above most guidelines out there. I guess I'd be comfortable if you could keep the mortgage under $700K.m@ver1ck wrote: ↑Wed Apr 15, 2020 9:46 am Our 2000 sqft home seems small now - we’re 4 and regularly have in-laws or parents visiting.
Home was purchased for 550K in 2010 and is now worth about 1-1.1M. Moving into a bigger home means additional commute - and would realistically be in the 1.2-1.5M range.
Ouch!
Fool hardy to make that move?
OTOH -
Only live once - being cheapskate for no reason? Good for kids to have more room.
Currently earning around 350K - but who knows how long the good times last. Also: want to retire early at 55. It’s fine if the home pushes the date an year or two out. I’m 44.
And then there’s the Corona timing...
[For local guys - this would mean a move from Redmond to Sammamish]
Assets etc:
Retirement 1.2M, Taxable: 300K, 529s: 70Kx2.
Biggest Risks: Single earner.
I could write a check and pay the current house of. Not looking to start another mortgage. Also don't really want to be tied to this area for the next 6-8 years - which would be probably necessary - if the market tanks and takes that long to recover.
We have probably not used the space adequately:
The current home is 3bedrooms + 1 den (10'-11').
Kids currently sleep with us in our room - their bunk-bed is in the master bedroom and kids use our closet for their clothes.
The other bedrooms are a guest room (in laws come every week for the weekend, and my parents visit for a few months a year) and a room that's a prayer room (not my idea) and has an extra Futon/Bed in it.
I've got a den for my home office.
The living room is tiny.
1) Invest you must 2) Time is your friend 3) Impulse is your enemy |
4) Basic arithmetic works 5) Stick to simplicity 6) Stay the course
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's a good one.
There are plenty of reasons to have the kids in your room, but that isn't one of them.
1) Invest you must 2) Time is your friend 3) Impulse is your enemy |
4) Basic arithmetic works 5) Stick to simplicity 6) Stay the course
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
In Hawaii, a 1200 sf home on 6-8000 sf of land for 1.5+ million is common on small incomes.
Hawaii island culture: parents bed + 2 parents + 2-3 toddlers + 1-2 dogs. 🏝🏝
j
Hawaii island culture: parents bed + 2 parents + 2-3 toddlers + 1-2 dogs. 🏝🏝
j
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
My current home would net around 700K - 800K - so 1.4M is doable - with 15yr mortgage, I’d be paying 4500 or so for the next 15yrs - extending retirement to 59.White Coat Investor wrote: ↑Fri Apr 17, 2020 3:25 pmNo way would I live in a 2000 square foot house. but a $1.5M house on a $350K income is above most guidelines out there. I guess I'd be comfortable if you could keep the mortgage under $700K.m@ver1ck wrote: ↑Wed Apr 15, 2020 9:46 am Our 2000 sqft home seems small now - we’re 4 and regularly have in-laws or parents visiting.
Home was purchased for 550K in 2010 and is now worth about 1-1.1M. Moving into a bigger home means additional commute - and would realistically be in the 1.2-1.5M range.
Ouch!
Fool hardy to make that move?
OTOH -
Only live once - being cheapskate for no reason? Good for kids to have more room.
Currently earning around 350K - but who knows how long the good times last. Also: want to retire early at 55. It’s fine if the home pushes the date an year or two out. I’m 44.
And then there’s the Corona timing...
[For local guys - this would mean a move from Redmond to Sammamish]
Assets etc:
Retirement 1.2M, Taxable: 300K, 529s: 70Kx2.
Biggest Risks: Single earner.
I could write a check and pay the current house of. Not looking to start another mortgage. Also don't really want to be tied to this area for the next 6-8 years - which would be probably necessary - if the market tanks and takes that long to recover.
We have probably not used the space adequately:
The current home is 3bedrooms + 1 den (10'-11').
Kids currently sleep with us in our room - their bunk-bed is in the master bedroom and kids use our closet for their clothes.
The other bedrooms are a guest room (in laws come every week for the weekend, and my parents visit for a few months a year) and a room that's a prayer room (not my idea) and has an extra Futon/Bed in it.
I've got a den for my home office.
The living room is tiny.
So - 4yrs extra working and worse commute. It’ll probably shorten my life.
Compare to staying put and paying mortgage off by 2028 (52) - and probably having the option to quit then.
TBH / I love my current work and have no idea what I would do once I quit - but I guess it’s more about the option to quit and less stress if forced to do so.
In 8 years the kiddo is going to college - and at that point it’s totally pointless to have a bigger home.
Not upgrading is probably easier than downsizing in the future.
Let’s see.
I’ll keep you posted.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Do you need a prayer room? Do you need a guest room? If both of those are non-negotiable, I would absolutely move, after the lockdowns are lifted. Getting the kids out of my bedroom would be priceless. I would delay retirement, if that's what it took to get the kids out of my bedroom.
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
I don't know if you should get a bigger house or not (I think probably yes) but you definitely need to get your kids out of your bedroom. I'm surprised your visiting in-laws would be OK with having their own dedicated guest room for visits while their grand kids are permanently bunked up with you. Maybe it's a cultural thing? That prayer room would be a kids bedroom in a heartbeat if it were me, and I'm pro-praying.
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
-Use “prayer room” as your office. You can pray in an office and your folks can sleep there when you’re not working.
-Other bedroom can be used for parents in law.
-Other bedroom can eventually be used for kids.
-Convert den to living room for family and kids?
-Other bedroom can be used for parents in law.
-Other bedroom can eventually be used for kids.
-Convert den to living room for family and kids?
The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. - Thich Nhat Hanh
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Deleted.
Last edited by m@ver1ck on Sat Apr 18, 2020 12:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
I could elaborate on my opinions on this, but it might cross the forum's family friendly threshold.m@ver1ck wrote: ↑Sat Apr 18, 2020 10:55 amBump.summit wrote: ↑Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:03 pm I’m amazed at how aghast everyone is that the OP’s young children sleep in parents’ room. This is very common in many cultures, and was in the US too, up until recently. Most likely healthier for kids, and can often lead to everyone getting better sleep.
Question everything. Most parenting/educational norms are based on anything and everything other than what’s actually good for children’s development.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
After reconfigurations this weekend - we’ll havem@ver1ck wrote: ↑Thu Apr 16, 2020 9:06 pm So - after some negotiations -
The ‘temple’ is moving into the study.
The ‘prayer room’ is now designated as the guest room.
The guest room - which already had the kids stuff in it is the kids room.
Whether the older one move into his room - or when he moves into that room is up to him - he has space now.
The younger one will move out when he’s ready - it’ll probably be a few years but we will see - He might go there sooner aping his older brother - or not.
A few hundred thousand dollars saved.
But it’s more about the commute.
A) master bedroom
B) kids room
C) office/prayer
D) guest
The prayer room was more a habit - it is used in that form 5 min a day.
Never would’ve thought this thread would take off so.
Thanks!
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
We believe in the value of a “family bed,” especially if the mother is nursing. Our older one was 23 months old when we got him into his own room to make room for the new arrival. The fact that the new child arrived 23 months later refutes some of the objections raised here, presumably in a way suitable for a family friendly forumsummit wrote: ↑Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:03 pm I’m amazed at how aghast everyone is that the OP’s young children sleep in parents’ room. This is very common in many cultures, and was in the US too, up until recently. Most likely healthier for kids, and can often lead to everyone getting better sleep.
Question everything. Most parenting/educational norms are based on anything and everything other than what’s actually good for children’s development.
I get the FI part but not the RE part of FIRE.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
If the OP were a foster parent, it would be illegal to have kids share a room with an adult after the age of two or three.summit wrote: ↑Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:03 pm I’m amazed at how aghast everyone is that the OP’s young children sleep in parents’ room. This is very common in many cultures, and was in the US too, up until recently. Most likely healthier for kids, and can often lead to everyone getting better sleep.
Question everything. Most parenting/educational norms are based on anything and everything other than what’s actually good for children’s development.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
We do have other rooms.TomatoTomahto wrote: ↑Sat Apr 18, 2020 11:15 amWe believe in the value of a “family bed,” especially if the mother is nursing. Our older one was 23 months old when we got him into his own room to make room for the new arrival. The fact that the new child arrived 23 months later refutes some of the objections raised here, presumably in a way suitable for a family friendly forumsummit wrote: ↑Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:03 pm I’m amazed at how aghast everyone is that the OP’s young children sleep in parents’ room. This is very common in many cultures, and was in the US too, up until recently. Most likely healthier for kids, and can often lead to everyone getting better sleep.
Question everything. Most parenting/educational norms are based on anything and everything other than what’s actually good for children’s development.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Deleted.
Last edited by m@ver1ck on Sat Apr 18, 2020 1:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Yup. As we found with the older one, incredibly hard to kick the child out of the bed even after weaning. It was the impending arrival of the second one that left us with no choice but to push him out. To make it not super traumatic - and to deal with sibling rivalry, did not want to push him out of the room - so the compromise was a bunk bed in the 'huge' master bedroom that we have. The age difference between the kids is 3 years.TomatoTomahto wrote: ↑Sat Apr 18, 2020 11:15 amWe believe in the value of a “family bed,” especially if the mother is nursing. Our older one was 23 months old when we got him into his own room to make room for the new arrival. The fact that the new child arrived 23 months later refutes some of the objections raised here, presumably in a way suitable for a family friendly forumsummit wrote: ↑Thu Apr 16, 2020 10:03 pm I’m amazed at how aghast everyone is that the OP’s young children sleep in parents’ room. This is very common in many cultures, and was in the US too, up until recently. Most likely healthier for kids, and can often lead to everyone getting better sleep.
Question everything. Most parenting/educational norms are based on anything and everything other than what’s actually good for children’s development.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Another way to look at this - I can retire one year later - and that one years earnings will more than pay for the delta in home prices...
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Where are you commuting to? If Seattle you could get a nice house in Seattle proper south of I90 a few blocks from the lake for around that much and decrease your commute. If a certain company in Redmond, I did that reverse commute and it wasn't bad at all. Averaged 30 minutes drive, although the connector is very convenient from the city. Probably better than Sammamish to Redmond.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Looks like you've retooled your space, OP, so you've taken care of things for now. Going forward, however, I'd second the posters above who suggested working with an architect at some point to see how you might optimally use and/or expand your space. One of my sisters did that, and the addition to her home, while modest, really made a tiny, cramped house much more livable.
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
That looks really good.
Enjoy the time you have at home and that you aren't spending on the increased commute.
I don't know anything.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Glad you made progress. After this stay at home situation has eased, I would still consider having a third party give an opinion. I have been amazed how staying a 1000 sq ft with good design can being easier than in 2000 sq ft that is being used sub optimally.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Thanks!
What kind of an architect would I hire?
What kind of an architect would I hire?
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
What kind of an architect would I hire? Do they go by a specific name/specialty name?cs412a wrote: ↑Sun Apr 19, 2020 1:40 pmLooks like you've retooled your space, OP, so you've taken care of things for now. Going forward, however, I'd second the posters above who suggested working with an architect at some point to see how you might optimally use and/or expand your space. One of my sisters did that, and the addition to her home, while modest, really made a tiny, cramped house much more livable.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
One bedroom needed for Inlaws, another needed for parents, another needed for deity, and your entire family sleeps in one room. I'm sorry I don't think I can help you on this one
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Two of my sisters have hired architects - one for an addition, the other for a custom-built house. Both were very happy with the people they chose. I'll ask them about this and PM you when I find out.m@ver1ck wrote: ↑Sun Apr 19, 2020 9:51 pmWhat kind of an architect would I hire? Do they go by a specific name/specialty name?cs412a wrote: ↑Sun Apr 19, 2020 1:40 pmLooks like you've retooled your space, OP, so you've taken care of things for now. Going forward, however, I'd second the posters above who suggested working with an architect at some point to see how you might optimally use and/or expand your space. One of my sisters did that, and the addition to her home, while modest, really made a tiny, cramped house much more livable.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
My brother and his wife added on a large great room. OP said the living room was tiny. A great room might be the best addition for when the children are older and having friends over and for entertaining and relaxation for the whole family. It sounds like OP has the bedroom situation figured out. I don't see any problem with kids sharing a room with each other. I remember thinking my kids needed their own rooms-which they had-and then I realized that when they graduated from high school I sent them to live in a closet (college dorm).cs412a wrote: ↑Sun Apr 19, 2020 1:40 pmLooks like you've retooled your space, OP, so you've taken care of things for now. Going forward, however, I'd second the posters above who suggested working with an architect at some point to see how you might optimally use and/or expand your space. One of my sisters did that, and the addition to her home, while modest, really made a tiny, cramped house much more livable.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Agh. Shouldn't have listened to the guys who voted to stay put.
Homes that we were looking at last year that were going for $1.5M in April 2020 are now going for $2.2M.
Homes that we were looking at last year that were going for $1.5M in April 2020 are now going for $2.2M.
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Does your area allow accessory dwellings? The prayer room would be ideal for that as it does not need plumbing (I assume) and separating it could make it a more peaceful and serene space. Then you could have a master bedroom, a guest bedroom, and a kid bedroom.
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
You decided last year that you didn’t need to move. Has something changed?
I sure your current house is worth a lot more now, too. So there’s that.
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Buy what you want.
New payment is 25% of base.
End of story!
New payment is 25% of base.
End of story!
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
Sounds like you aren't using the bedrooms you have now. I would not make a change.
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Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
+1
Great points. Well said.
So true.
Sometimes, home shopping and the "home buying bug" is like a "car shopping bug". It feeds onto itself to the point where we start to really feel we have to "buy something" and start making all kinds of reasons for and against it. It's fun. More fun than shopping for socks that fit right. And, addictive.
Suggest keep shopping and dreaming for awhile but resist buying. Eventually the bug will either pass or there will be real and logical reasons to move or not.
j
Re: Convince me - for or against bigger home
True - wonder how different this is from a fancy sports car - which then just sits in the driveway because one has nowhere to go.
In this case, a 2.2M spend means losing freedom for a long time!
In this case, a 2.2M spend means losing freedom for a long time!