Moving due to house/location regret?

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Go Blue 99
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Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by Go Blue 99 »

We moved from the city to the burbs in 2017 after having our second child. There was a specific prime suburb that we always wanted to live in after having kids. This suburb is highly sought after and has great schools, safety, easy highway access, some walkability, really good dining and shopping, etc. It's also a major job center, and my current job is located there.

But when we started the house search, we noticed there was a new growing area about 10-15 min further out than the prime suburb. Housing prices were cheaper there, and there was a ton of new construction. I'll admit- we got sucked in by the allure of the big shiny new house, where we could pick out our lot, floorplan, finishes, etc. And it also had great schools. So we ended up buying there.

Well we've been here for 2.5 years, and we don't care for the area. Even though it's only about 10-15 min from our desired area, it's just across the border in a different (once rural) county. We just aren't feeling the vibe of the area. Plus it's being built out like crazy with poorly planned zoning by the county, and the area just seems to be a bunch of new subdivisions next to new car washes, storage facilities, etc. For example, after we moved in, a new body shop was built right near the entrance of the subdivision.

It's still a popular area, especially for people priced out of the prime suburb. But we are now exploring the idea of selling and moving to the original prime suburb. We can afford that area, but for a similar priced house, we’d have to downgrade a bit (in terms of size/age/finishes). My spouse thinks the current home is too large anyway, so she welcomes a slight downsize. Having to downgrade in finishes would be disappointing, but we can always change those out.

We would take a loss after commissions on the current home (we have spoken with an agent). But we are doing fine financially, and the loss wouldn't be anything substantial in the long term grand scheme of things. I know selling and moving is a huge stress and pain. But on the other hand, we don't want to be sitting here in 10 years still having regrets about where we chose to live. Our kids are in KG and daycare, and we would want to move them while young to avoid disruption.

I would like to get some info from people who have gone through this. If you made the move to a location you preferred, were you very happy with the decision? Was it worth all of the hassle and stress? Did you ever find yourself missing the fancier house? For our situation, do you think it's a petty reason to move? I appreciate any insight.
HomeStretch
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by HomeStretch »

No similar experience to share. I don’t think it’s a petty reason to move. If you can afford it financially, then it’s a personal decision. Do what makes sense for your family. Try to minimize the disruption on the kids’ schooling if possible by moving in before new school term starts.
rich126
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by rich126 »

I often have regrets after moving but they are usually long gone by 2 yrs. People often get attached to a certain size house or features and it is hard to downsize for a different area but that doesn't seem to be your case. Sounds like you'd be better off moving even though it is such a short distance. I'd definitely would resolve it before kids get too far into school since that can be painful for some kids.

This doesn't apply in your case but I always remember someone saying don't look at houses in a preferred area above your price point because then you are usually disappointment in the lower cost homes.

I've made it a rule to avoid all new construction and new neighborhoods in my house buying. I prefer the established areas but then I can see where the homes, schools, shopping centers are located. And while I'm sure it is nice, I've heard a number of hassles dealing with a new build.

Good luck.
----------------------------- | If you think something is important and it doesn't involve the health of someone, think again. Life goes too fast, enjoy it and be nice.
MarkerFM
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by MarkerFM »

We made a move due to regret over buying a house, but 10 years after we bought it, so our experience might not be helpful to you. We originally bought in what we thought was a great area. And, for a time, it was. We were in a well-established subdivision with lots of great neighbors and kids our kids' ages. Nice amenities. The town was mostly built-out and had decent but not stellar restaurants and shopping. But, we began to realize as the kids got closer to middle school the middle and high schools were not acceptable. The town was small and established, but the school district was sprawled out over many undeveloped acres. Much new housing there, with the resulting increase in student population. The thing was, these were mostly less affluent families unwilling to spend to keep the schools up to snuff.

So, we moved to another suburb 20 miles away. Much more affluent, nearly completely built-out, and the school districts were contained within the town's borders for the most part. Great schools, great restaurants, shopping, amenities, etc. We paid quite a bit more for the house we moved into as a result, and actually bought a bigger, nicer place because by then our finances had grown into that.

We don't regret the move one bit. We had to make a lot of new friends (which wasn't difficult), and we were anxious about whether we were doing the right thing. Subsequent passing of time confirmed the decision was a winner. Think ahead and not back. Where do you want to be in five/ten years?
Marlon Marlin
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by Marlon Marlin »

Yes. Experienced similar and got out. My wife, who is smarter than me, pointed out life is short and that we shouldn't look at it as a mistake we regretted but rather as a learning experience. You can't truly know what a house/neighborhood are truly like unless you actually live in that situation. As soon as it's not the right fit and you''ve got a handle on what is a good fit, no shame in being flexible and adjusting to your evolution. Think of how happy you'll be if you make the move to where you belong. :beer
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GoldenFinch
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by GoldenFinch »

We had a similar situation and moved more than 20 years ago when we were 30 years old with a baby. It was the right decision. Still in the other house and plan to stay. Good luck! :happy
mega317
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by mega317 »

My experience was a little different but the opposite. We left a rental in one area and chose location--proximity to family and beach--and sacrified the house size/finishes and a few other things in the area the rental had been. The drawbacks are of course still present but we don't regret it. Location location location. I wouldn't hesitate to take a financial hit to increase happiness. You're talking about the largest purchase of your life that has affects on nearly every other part of your family's life. You should pay the movers to pack everything, it's not that expensive.

I'm curious. It doesn't really sound like it but are you in metro Detroit? If so what areas?
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jabberwockOG
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by jabberwockOG »

A significant lesson about real estate that some learn the hard way - you can change almost everything about a house except for its location and type of neighborhood that it is in.

If you don't feel comfortable with current location, trust your gut, cut your losses, and sell and move.
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Go Blue 99
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by Go Blue 99 »

mega317 wrote: Wed Feb 19, 2020 5:24 pm I'm curious. It doesn't really sound like it but are you in metro Detroit? If so what areas?
This is in metro Atlanta.
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leeks
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by leeks »

Sounds like you should move.

Bonus if the preferred location allows you to walk/bike to work and/or kids will be able to transport themselves to/from school and activities as they get older.
jaj2276
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by jaj2276 »

I always wanted to live by the beach. We found an older, smaller 4th row house and moved in. I hated it. I hated the layout due it being an older house and the amount of space we lost (storage, closets, etc.). Took me 2.5 years to accept I made a bad decision but once I did it freed me up to find my current place which I love.

Definitely don't feel bad moving because something you chose didn't work out for you. Be prepared however to encounter a second case of regrets if this smaller/older house also isn't what you are looking for (i.e. it seems like you want your current house in the new location).
decapod10
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by decapod10 »

Are you sure that your prime location is where you want to be? Also there would be no reason to move in the near future (more kids, job change, etc)? If so, then yeah just move if you can afford it. If not, you could rent for awhile. Probably even more painful, but you could rent out your current house, then rent where you think you want to live and see how it goes, then sell your old house and buy a new one if everything seems fine.

When we first got our jobs and moved to the current area, we were sure that we wanted to live in a specific neighborhood. The houses were newer, schools were good, etc. We rented a house there to start, but ultimately when it came time to buy, we decided that the neighborhood really wasn't for us. It was too far from the highway, we kind of wanted a bigger yard (even though we thought we didn't) and this neighborhood had only tiny yards as new housing tends to be in our area, etc. We actually rented 2 different places before we ultimately bought a house, which I though ultimately worked out well.

But in your case, you may know enough about the neighborhoods to know what you want since it sounds like you don't live that far away.
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hsmith
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by hsmith »

HomeStretch wrote: Wed Feb 19, 2020 1:42 pm No similar experience to share. I don’t think it’s a petty reason to move. If you can afford it financially, then it’s a personal decision. Do what makes sense for your family. Try to minimize the disruption on the kids’ schooling if possible by moving in before new school term starts.
I also have no similar experience to share, but agree with other posters in that you should probably move. But I wouldn’t make it a habit, as closing costs and potential capital losses will put a big dent on your net worth. So you should carefully vet the new neighborhood, schools, zoning, planned new development and the new house before pulling the trigger. You’ll probably get better value by buying an existing home instead of new construction.
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fishandgolf
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by fishandgolf »

HomeStretch wrote: Wed Feb 19, 2020 1:42 pm No similar experience to share. I don’t think it’s a petty reason to move. If you can afford it financially, then it’s a personal decision. Do what makes sense for your family. Try to minimize the disruption on the kids’ schooling if possible by moving in before new school term starts.
+1000

Go.....and don't look back....you will not regret it...….

Best of luck to you and your family..... :sharebeer
nanciT
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by nanciT »

We have bought and sold several homes here in Northern CA but only purchased one I did regret.

At the time, we decided to wait it out, the subdivision was still selling( also new construction) so we stayed. About 8 months later my husband lost his job. There we were, had a big mortgage that I could not support. He quickly was able to get a new position but far less money. We ended up selling the house for a great deal less than we purchased it for. This was in 2008 and real estate took a big fall.

If you are not happy with your location, I would move. Wishing you the best!
as9
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by as9 »

This is probably one of the more common reasons people end up regretting the house they end up in (choosing house over location). If you can afford it I would do it as long as you are certain this other town is where you want to live. I wouldn't want to be doing this again in another 2-3 years.
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Watty
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by Watty »

There is an old saying, "There are three things that are important in real estate, Location, Location, and Location."

There is a lot of truth in that.
Go Blue 99 wrote: Wed Feb 19, 2020 6:03 pm
mega317 wrote: Wed Feb 19, 2020 5:24 pm I'm curious. It doesn't really sound like it but are you in metro Detroit? If so what areas?
This is in metro Atlanta.
I thought that your description sounded like some areas I know here in Atlanta, but it could really be anywhere.

Metro Atlanta is sort of a funny city the home prices seem to vary a lot more by area because of the schools and commute than in other cities I have lived in. You mentioned that your current area is about 10-15 minutes farther out from your job and the area is still quickly growing. If you can gain 20-30 minutes a day that is a big deal especially when you have young kids. Having at least one parent nearby is also very important when you have a kid that is puking at school or in the emergency room getting stitches. If you are close by then your spouse may be able to take a job that is farther away.

One potential problem is that your commute will likely get worse in the future as there is more development. When I moved here almost 20 years ago I bought a house that had a pretty consistent 30 minute commute. By the time I retired about 13 years later it was up to a 45 minute commute on a good day and there were frequently bad days.
Go Blue 99 wrote: Wed Feb 19, 2020 1:39 pm I would like to get some info from people who have gone through this. If you made the move to a location you preferred, were you very happy with the decision? Was it worth all of the hassle and stress? Did you ever find yourself missing the fancier house? For our situation, do you think it's a petty reason to move? I appreciate any insight.
I did not do the exact same thing but I moved to Atlanta because of corporate relocation from an part of the country that has a lot of advantages and is in many ways a nicer part of the country. There were lots of factors and I still think that moving was clearly the right choice but I still miss the old city in some ways. We have been back there a number of times and it has changed a lot since I lived there so part of what I miss is my recollection of way that it was 20 years ago, not the way that it actually is today. I am sure that I also have a selective memory and some of the things that I did not like there have faded in my memory.

If you miss the fancier house you may be sort of missing the idea of the fancier house than the house itself.

One thing to keep in mind is that in psychology there is an effect called "hedonic adaptation" which means that you get used to your environment and after a while most things that are positive or negative don't really get noticed much after a while. As long as your new house is nice you will likely not really miss the nicer things in the old house after a while.
Go Blue 99 wrote: Wed Feb 19, 2020 1:39 pm My spouse thinks the current home is too large anyway, so she welcomes a slight downsize.
If you have not lived anywhere else it is hard to appreciate just how big the typical houses are here in Atlanta. It is really easy to get a house that is too big here so your spouse may be right. When we moved here we had to look hard to find a reasonable size house in the area we wanted to live in. A really good compromise is if you can find a not huge house with an unfinished basement since we find that frees up lots of space in the actual living space.
Go Blue 99 wrote: Wed Feb 19, 2020 1:39 pm Our kids are in KG and daycare, and we would want to move them while young to avoid disruption.
That is important. We moved when my kid was in middle school and it was hard on him and it took several years for him to really adjust.
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DiscoBunny1979
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by DiscoBunny1979 »

There's one thing that matters in real estate . . . Location.

However, as with everything else in life, it's never greener on the other side of the fence. I'd agree with a prior post that vetting the neighborhood You want to relocate to is paramount. If you find a house you think is great to buy, I would check out the street completely in terms of what type of traffic it has, who lives next door . . . yes, meet the neighbors before You decide to buy and ask them about how they like living there. Return to check out the area at night on a weekend and see if the neighborhood has changed from being a quiet place to noisy. Moving is a hassle, but in my opinion having more space in a house is much better than downsizing to something that's just right for now. Since You've already spent the money on closing costs for the house You're in, that's already a sunk cost. But if you sell and buy you might be looking at much greater costs for the transactions and put you more in the hole than just the actual price of the home. You suggest that fixtures can be changed. . which is true, but that might not be the only fixes needed to be done and therefore there should be a renovation budget for whatever house is to be purchased. This could make the current house much more desirable and less worry. Personally, if I had bought a new house that's only 2.5 years old, I would live in it until most of the builder warranties are obsolete. That could even mean waiting until the roofing warranty no longer exists . . . builders often give a 10 year warranty on roofs (or better).
Are the warranties on the air conditioning/heating unit, appliances, carpets, and fixtures (faucets, toilets, fans) past warranty?
Freetime76
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Re: Moving due to house/location regret?

Post by Freetime76 »

The only caution I have is you can only move forward in life, not backwards (philosophically). :wink: Even if it costs you money, if you’re moving (bad pun) in the direction you want in a reasonable/sensible way, it’s worth it. Life changes, so I wouldn’t necessarily assume this is a “forever home”.

So:
if you want to do a smaller home because it suits you better, do it.
If you want a different lifestyle with more culture, community, convenience - whatever, do it.

Forget the old neighborhood. Assume that resale houses in areas with new construction often seem to be discounted; take the hit, and be done with it. We’d move. There are benefits to living smaller...just remember:teenagers :D
Please spell out new acronyms. Thank you.
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