Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

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capitalhockey
Posts: 166
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Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by capitalhockey »

I am in my late 30s, fairly active and healthy. Went in for my annual medical physical last week. Ran thru all the routine tests. Received a call back a week later to let me know they detected cancer. Thankfully, it's a very treatable cancer but will need surgery to remove. It's not the type of news I was expecting, esp with no family history. While I have made arrangements for the surgery, I am still processing my emotions.

The whole process got me thinking about my view on money....I had 2 thoughts/emotions that are somewhat opposite of each other.

1) Life can be unexpectedly short, spend money on things that make you happy (food, travel, family & friends, etc) NOW before the opportunity is taken away from you. Enjoy the fruits of your hard work and living below your means over the years.

2) Save more money for a rainy day. I have 2 young kids and wife at home. God forbid the news was worse that resulted in me not being around any more or reduced to being physically unable to work and provide for my family.

For those that have experienced an unexpected health scare, how did it change your philosophy on money and spending/savings?
fru-gal
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by fru-gal »

I'm very glad everything is going to be okay.

If I had kids, I'd have life insurance up to my gills.

Fortunately only my pets depend on me, and I made a will providing for them as soon as I got my first pet when I was an adult. It astonishes me how many people with kids do not have wills, chosen guardians if anything happens to them, etc.
02nz
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by 02nz »

I hope everything turns out ok. I don't disagree with #2 but there's only so much you can save; this highlights the importance of having adequate life insurance.
Dottie57
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by Dottie57 »

Truly live your life. Make decisions on how much time at work and how much with family. Set a saving rate and then spend the rest. Encourage your spouse to keep up and improve work skills. Be prudent with all resources. Enjoy each day.

Be well.
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JoeRetire
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by JoeRetire »

capitalhockey wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 3:46 pm For those that have experienced an unexpected health scare, how did it change your philosophy on money and spending/savings?
It didn't.

I was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. I went through a little over a year of treatments, and now I no longer have any detectable cancer. For me, I was already retired, the kids are already out of the house and on their own, and our financial affairs are all in order. So there was really nothing that needed changing. And of course I have always been properly insured.

I've always lived thinking that every day is important. So we have always enjoyed the fruits of our labors. That said, we always lived below our means and saved for retirement. These aren't mutually exclusive. I'd argue that everyone should always be doing both at the same time.

I wish you well. The cancer treatments available these days are nothing short of miraculous. Try not to be too worried - I'm sure you'll come out the other side in good shape.
This isn't just my wallet. It's an organizer, a memory and an old friend.
beachball
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by beachball »

capitalhockey wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 3:46 pm I am in my late 30s, fairly active and healthy. Went in for my annual medical physical last week. Ran thru all the routine tests. Received a call back a week later to let me know they detected cancer.
Best wishes for getting well soon! Which tests found the cancer? I didn't know that the usual blood work could reveal cancer.
niceguy7376
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by niceguy7376 »

beachball wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 4:32 pm Best wishes for getting well soon! Which tests found the cancer? I didn't know that the usual blood work could reveal cancer.
I am interested in the answer to the above Q.

As for views, I had the same crisis when my parent was diagnosed for cancer. I had some term life by then and try to save as much from my mid 5 digit income to make sure that my non working spouse and kids are in decent positions in future.
tibbitts
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by tibbitts »

niceguy7376 wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 8:06 am
beachball wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 4:32 pm Best wishes for getting well soon! Which tests found the cancer? I didn't know that the usual blood work could reveal cancer.
I am interested in the answer to the above Q.

As for views, I had the same crisis when my parent was diagnosed for cancer. I had some term life by then and try to save as much from my mid 5 digit income to make sure that my non working spouse and kids are in decent positions in future.
As a practical matter I don't think savings really helps that much here, it's more about insurance.
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lthenderson
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by lthenderson »

capitalhockey wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 3:46 pm For those that have experienced an unexpected health scare, how did it change your philosophy on money and spending/savings?
I haven't had an unexpected health scare but my mom lost her battle with cancer about 15 months ago which has caused me to reflect on this subject. For me it is all about finding a balance. I try to do the things that I want to do and that make me happy while continuing to save for a rainy day or the next generation should something unexpectedly happen to me. I'm probably fortunate in that a lot of things that make me happy don't cost a lot of money.
sjt
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by sjt »

capitalhockey wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 3:46 pm
spend money on things that make you happy (food, travel, family & friends, etc) NOW before the opportunity is taken away from you.
Yes, your two thoughts somewhat conflict with each other. Luckily spending time with friends and family usually isn't expensive, and travel can be done frugally, as can food. Every once in a while I get a wake-up call like this that makes me step back and look at the big picture and what is important in life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts -
"The one who covets is the poorer man, | For he would have that which he never can; | But he who doesn't have and doesn't crave | Is rich, though you may hold him but a knave." - Wife of Bath tale
Silence Dogood
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by Silence Dogood »

OP,

I'm glad that you'll be okay.

Last May I posted this:
Silence Dogood wrote: Tue May 14, 2019 9:10 am I'm guessing the market has gone down lately?

I don't bother checking, but I can always get a good idea based on the most recent threads (for example, "100% stocks" threads when the market is doing really well).

Anyway, which is the greater risk?:

The risk that a 60 year old, entering retirement, ends up running out of money, due to a 30 year stagnation in the stock market.

The risk that a 60 year old, about to enter retirement, but fearing stock market stagnation, works an extra 10 years, but then dies at age 70.

There are no guarantees in life.
Sadly, not long after I posted this, an acquaintance died - tragically, unexpectedly - just one week after retiring.

There are no guarantees in life.
wanderer
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by wanderer »

In my 60s now. In my 30s I had a a small cancer surgically removed. Then learned a coworker’s wife had had the same cancer, but had now returned. Sadly she died within a year or so. It shook us up as we had 3 small kids, I was the primary earner, and we were not financially ‘stable’. A few years later I had a series of vision, balance, and other issues which were diagnosed as a minor stroke/head injury.

So I understand it’s a bit scary to confront. It takes time and reflection to process.

Lesson we learned:
Be the best example you can be for you kids and family no matter the time frame. (Decide what was to be my family “legacy”.)

These issues forced us to confront and financial situation and future in general.

For us:
Family matters - be present. (work-life balance)
Insurance to protect for the worse, but plan for a long future.
Also meant getting our finances (budget) in order, having wills and discussed contingency plans, and living life simpler and more intentionally.

Sounds like you have your financial house more in order. So my advise would be to not change anything now, but reflect on what you want for a family legacy and how that is demonstrated by your spending choices. Then live that life.
hifive
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by hifive »

I hope the surgery and recovery go well.

You may find this thread helpful as it addresses some of the same concerns: viewtopic.php?f=2&t=170562
protagonist wrote: Thu Jul 30, 2015 9:39 am I could have panicked in 2008 and went back to work, delaying retirement until 65 or later. I would then be more secure about my money not running out when I hit 95. The last thing I ever thought would happen to me was a heart attack at 63. I could just as easily have died with all my toys unused last week. When I asked my cardiologist how often he sees people in my shape in their 40s, 50s and 60s have heart attacks, he said it is "much more common than you think". 25% or so present in cardiac arrest.

Why am I sharing this with this community? I feel like I might be able to help some folks out there with my story.
protagonist
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by protagonist »

Hello, Capitalhockey. Sorry to hear about your health scare. Hope all goes well.

I noticed hifive quoted my post from 5 years ago regarding my thoughts during my own health scare. I'm almost 5 years older now and feeling healthy as ever. I will re-post my 2015 post now in full for you now, hoping that it might be helpful to you on some level.

My 2015 post:


I'm 63. Last week I had a heart attack on the way to the airport to play music abroad.

I'm 6'1" and I weigh 162. I workout regularly (rode 30 miles on my bike the day before the incident). My blood pressure has never been above 110/70. My total cholesterol is 190 with a high HDL fraction, which puts me in the low risk category. No significant family history. I never smoked. No diabetes, substance abuse, or other medical problems. Nobody I know would call me a "Type A personality". My doctor told me I have the body of a 35 year old. My only risk factor (not at all insignificant) is being male.

I was fortunate (for a healthy 63 y o guy who has a heart attack)....it was a relatively minor incident, I got prompt care and now have a stent in my circumflex artery.

Though my profession was inherently stressful (physician), I have always approached my work on my own terms, and never compromised my lifestyle for the sake of making more money, working jobs or moving places I did not enjoy, or for empty titles/prestige. My priorities were my family, living where I want to live, having enough time off to pursue my other interests, enjoying my work, and creating my own schedule. This did not come without risks (comical compared to the risks that others have just by virtue of their birthright), but in the long run, the risks were worth it, as I feel like I have lived a very rich life. I was never drawn to an extravagant lifestyle (fancy cars, clothes, whatever), but I lived well, and never felt wanting of anything I did not have. I made enough money. I could have made a lot more if I was willing to compromise my day-to-day life, but I didn't need any more.

My most valuable possession (other than my lovely "middle class" 1885 Victorian home in a very cool college town) is my tenor saxophone. I bought it about 10 years ago for $7000. It's probably worth close to $20K today, Even at $7K it would be my most valuable possession. It's worth a lot more than my car.

(By American standards, I have always been under-insured. I figured that the chances of my kids inheriting more money was greater that way, and I am pretty sure I was right.)

I was fortunate to be born in the mid-20th century as a relatively intelligent white American male during one of the greatest growth periods in the history of civilization, so, despite not having affluent parents and living a hippie lifestyle throughout the late 60s and 70s with no concern whatsoever for money, and putting myself through med school later in life, I did OK. In my demographic it was hard not to do OK.

I made money. Money didn't make me.

I retired in 2008 at 55, right before the crash. The crash (and divorce) took a big hit out of my savings, which caused me some worry about the future, but (as was reinforced yet again last week), the future is chaotic, so I figured what would happen would happen anyway. My savings came back with the market. I'm not filthy rich, but I'm comfortable, and I am not worried about money. I don't budget but I don't spend all that much and I live well. I probably won't run out, but anything can happen to any of us.

I could have panicked in 2008 and went back to work, delaying retirement until 65 or later. I would then be more secure about my money not running out when I hit 95. The last thing I ever thought would happen to me was a heart attack at 63. I could just as easily have died with all my toys unused last week. When I asked my cardiologist how often he sees people in my shape in their 40s, 50s and 60s have heart attacks, he said it is "much more common than you think". 25% or so present in cardiac arrest.

Why am I sharing this with this community? I feel like I might be able to help some folks out there with my story.

I'm usually a rather private person (other than here, only a few of my closest friends know what happened to me). But, in the time that I have frequented this forum, I feel that there is a significant segment of people who post here who, IMHO, are overly obsessed with making money and planning for a future that they cannot control. You can spend your life from age 18 predominantly dedicated to making sure you don't run out of money when you are 100. You can postpone joy indefinitely and just hope you are healthy enough down the road to enjoy your bundle. Or you can live the way you want to live today, staying well within your means, try to save if you can, enjoy your life, just not sweat it....knowing you might run out of money at 95, but on the other hand you might die at 40 or 50 or 60 or tomorrow, and some things just cannot be controlled.

You can do everything possible to avoid the inevitable or you can just live and take your chances. You might not realize it, but either way, you are gambling. Which gamble is more enjoyable?
phxjcc
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by phxjcc »

protagonist wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 4:09 pm Hello, Capitalhockey. Sorry to hear about your health scare. Hope all goes well.

I noticed hifive quoted my post from 5 years ago regarding my thoughts during my own health scare. I'm almost 5 years older now and feeling healthy as ever. I will re-post my 2015 post now in full for you now, hoping that it might be helpful to you on some level.

My 2015 post:


I'm 63. Last week I had a heart attack on the way to the airport to play music abroad.

I'm 6'1" and I weigh 162. I workout regularly (rode 30 miles on my bike the day before the incident). My blood pressure has never been above 110/70. My total cholesterol is 190 with a high HDL fraction, which puts me in the low risk category. No significant family history. I never smoked. No diabetes, substance abuse, or other medical problems. Nobody I know would call me a "Type A personality". My doctor told me I have the body of a 35 year old. My only risk factor (not at all insignificant) is being male.

I was fortunate (for a healthy 63 y o guy who has a heart attack)....it was a relatively minor incident, I got prompt care and now have a stent in my circumflex artery.

Though my profession was inherently stressful (physician), I have always approached my work on my own terms, and never compromised my lifestyle for the sake of making more money, working jobs or moving places I did not enjoy, or for empty titles/prestige. My priorities were my family, living where I want to live, having enough time off to pursue my other interests, enjoying my work, and creating my own schedule. This did not come without risks (comical compared to the risks that others have just by virtue of their birthright), but in the long run, the risks were worth it, as I feel like I have lived a very rich life. I was never drawn to an extravagant lifestyle (fancy cars, clothes, whatever), but I lived well, and never felt wanting of anything I did not have. I made enough money. I could have made a lot more if I was willing to compromise my day-to-day life, but I didn't need any more.

My most valuable possession (other than my lovely "middle class" 1885 Victorian home in a very cool college town) is my tenor saxophone. I bought it about 10 years ago for $7000. It's probably worth close to $20K today, Even at $7K it would be my most valuable possession. It's worth a lot more than my car.

(By American standards, I have always been under-insured. I figured that the chances of my kids inheriting more money was greater that way, and I am pretty sure I was right.)

I was fortunate to be born in the mid-20th century as a relatively intelligent white American male during one of the greatest growth periods in the history of civilization, so, despite not having affluent parents and living a hippie lifestyle throughout the late 60s and 70s with no concern whatsoever for money, and putting myself through med school later in life, I did OK. In my demographic it was hard not to do OK.

I made money. Money didn't make me.

I retired in 2008 at 55, right before the crash. The crash (and divorce) took a big hit out of my savings, which caused me some worry about the future, but (as was reinforced yet again last week), the future is chaotic, so I figured what would happen would happen anyway. My savings came back with the market. I'm not filthy rich, but I'm comfortable, and I am not worried about money. I don't budget but I don't spend all that much and I live well. I probably won't run out, but anything can happen to any of us.

I could have panicked in 2008 and went back to work, delaying retirement until 65 or later. I would then be more secure about my money not running out when I hit 95. The last thing I ever thought would happen to me was a heart attack at 63. I could just as easily have died with all my toys unused last week. When I asked my cardiologist how often he sees people in my shape in their 40s, 50s and 60s have heart attacks, he said it is "much more common than you think". 25% or so present in cardiac arrest.

Why am I sharing this with this community? I feel like I might be able to help some folks out there with my story.

I'm usually a rather private person (other than here, only a few of my closest friends know what happened to me). But, in the time that I have frequented this forum, I feel that there is a significant segment of people who post here who, IMHO, are overly obsessed with making money and planning for a future that they cannot control. You can spend your life from age 18 predominantly dedicated to making sure you don't run out of money when you are 100. You can postpone joy indefinitely and just hope you are healthy enough down the road to enjoy your bundle. Or you can live the way you want to live today, staying well within your means, try to save if you can, enjoy your life, just not sweat it....knowing you might run out of money at 95, but on the other hand you might die at 40 or 50 or 60 or tomorrow, and some things just cannot be controlled.

You can do everything possible to avoid the inevitable or you can just live and take your chances. You might not realize it, but either way, you are gambling. Which gamble is more enjoyable?
Great post.

Thank you.
hvaclorax
Posts: 598
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 5:01 pm

Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by hvaclorax »

Protagonist,
When he left our MedicalGroup a notable cardiologist, Bill Hull, gave a talk about elite athletes who developed coronary artery disease and had heart attacks. We physician’s were surprised, some even startled. As one of my mentors used to say “ when God’s out to get you, he’s going to get you “. Sorry for your scare, I’m trying to keep my mortality front and center.
HVAC
michaeljc70
Posts: 10843
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2015 3:53 pm

Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by michaeljc70 »

Glad everything will be okay. You shouldn't need a scare to live a balanced life (saving/spending, work/leisure), but I'm sure it puts things that might be overlooked more into perspective. I bet the pandemic caused a good number of people to reevaluate things also. I have family members that are 95 (and still driving) but I try to balance that with the fact that I could be hit by a bus tomorrow (among many other things).
sawhorse
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Joined: Sun Mar 01, 2015 6:05 pm

Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by sawhorse »

Not cancer, but my I developed severe chronic health problems in my early 30s that have rendered me unable to work ever since. Here are some lessons I've learned. I realize they may not be feasible for everyone.

1. Never go without health insurance. Never.

2. If you can get disability insurance and life insurance, get it. You never know when you will develop conditions that will render you uninsurable. Unfortunately I already wasn't able to get policies due to an unrelated medical problem that preceded my current problems.

3. Try to avoid carrying debt because you never know if you might become disabled and lose your ability to make payments. I am so fortunate that I had a few years of a well paying job before becoming ill, and I was able to pay off my student loans then.

4. What you think is 6 months of emergency funds might only last a few weeks in an actual emergency because actual emergencies can involve expenditures far beyond your previous costs.
hvaclorax
Posts: 598
Joined: Mon Nov 21, 2016 5:01 pm

Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by hvaclorax »

OP,
Glad you got your health back. Thanks for making this into a positive.
I recently read about an app that reminds the reader several times daily that we will die someday. The constructive way I think this works is to tell us not to waste anything so valuable as time left on earth. Considering life is a finite process, try to remember what we are here for.
Thanks and good luck, HVAC
PoppyA
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Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2014 4:24 pm

Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by PoppyA »

Which is scarier? A colonoscopy or cancer? Early detection SAVES LIVES.
GG1273
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Location: NJ

Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by GG1273 »

niceguy7376 wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 8:06 am
beachball wrote: Tue Jan 21, 2020 4:32 pm Best wishes for getting well soon! Which tests found the cancer? I didn't know that the usual blood work could reveal cancer.
I am interested in the answer to the above Q.

As for views, I had the same crisis when my parent was diagnosed for cancer. I had some term life by then and try to save as much from my mid 5 digit income to make sure that my non working spouse and kids are in decent positions in future.
PSA is one that can lead to other tests / biopsies / MRI (prostate Specific Antigen) - I was treated for prostate cancer 3 years ago, so far so good
Another is AFP, Serum, Tumor Marker - my Gastroenterologist ran this one after my proctectomy and I came back good on that one. This second one is a specialized one, PSA is recommended yearly

Best of luck OP
TallBoy29er
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Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by TallBoy29er »

hifive wrote: Wed Jan 22, 2020 2:03 pm I hope the surgery and recovery go well.

You may find this thread helpful as it addresses some of the same concerns: viewtopic.php?f=2&t=170562
protagonist wrote: Thu Jul 30, 2015 9:39 am I could have panicked in 2008 and went back to work, delaying retirement until 65 or later. I would then be more secure about my money not running out when I hit 95. The last thing I ever thought would happen to me was a heart attack at 63. I could just as easily have died with all my toys unused last week. When I asked my cardiologist how often he sees people in my shape in their 40s, 50s and 60s have heart attacks, he said it is "much more common than you think". 25% or so present in cardiac arrest.

Why am I sharing this with this community? I feel like I might be able to help some folks out there with my story.
Thanks for linking. This has been one of my favorite posts on BH's for a long time. I don't get tired of reading it.
michaeljc70
Posts: 10843
Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2015 3:53 pm

Re: Different View On Money After Cancer Scare?

Post by michaeljc70 »

I'm glad you are okay OP. I don't think it should take a health scare for people to find some semblance of a balance between spending and saving. Anyone could be hit by a bus, in an auto accident, get cancer, etc. at any time. Though I've considered myself frugal by some standards (many friends/spouse), my family thinks I spend like crazy. It is all a matter of perspective. My family thinks because we go out in our huge city and a martini (or really many cocktails) cost $13-$16 at most nice restaurants we are spending like crazy. This is something we do 1-2 times month. They ignore me looking at the weekly grocery flyers and carefully coming up with a plan for groceries for the week among many other cost saving measures.
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