Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

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Ganacel
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Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Ganacel »

My supervisor sent out an email asking those of us with higher incomes to contribute several hundred dollars out of our own pockets to pay for holiday gifts/bonuses for other employees who are lower earning. Other than the social pressure (i.e., everyone else is presumably doing it, so I "should" do it too to be part of the group), I don't really want to participate in this wealth transfer at all. Here are my thoughts.

First off, I just started this job a few months ago. I barely even know these people; why should I spend more money on their holiday gifts/bonuses than I do on gifts for my own family?

Second, because I just started this job, I am just getting my own savings going. I have already made other plans for my money this month (like buying i-bonds) that IMO are a far better use of the money, and that would be affected by my giving away a few hundred dollars. In other words, the money I'd be "contributing" would be coming out of money I would have invested otherwise.

Third, even if I had plenty of money sitting around under the mattress, the principle of it just offends me. These people who would be receiving the bonus aren't working out of the goodness of their hearts. They get paid for it. Also, no one is taking up a collection to give me a $1000 bonus; I earn every bonus I get by working extra hours, working nights and holidays, etc. What gives anyone the right to expect me to help pay for someone else's bonus out of my own pocket?

My sister, who is very much into being part of the team, says I should just pay the money since everyone else probably is, and it will look bad if I don't. I think if I do that I will be so incredibly resentful of it that it will poison my work environment for me. On the other hand, she is probably right that me giving nothing might cause some friction with my coworkers. I thought a good compromise might be to contribute, say, 1/3 of the amount requested, which would be in keeping with how long I've been working here anyway. I'd still feel mildly resentful about it, but at least I could live with it (and I could pay for it without dipping into my investing pot). Of course, the same problem will come up again next year if I'm still working here next year, but at least I'll have this whole year to prepare for how I want to handle it instead of being broadsided by it like I was this time.

What I wanted to ask is, 1) do those of you who are older and wiser think that my sister is right that I should go along to get along (i.e., pay the whole amount), and 2) if not, is my compromise reasonable? Thanks in advance for any input. Office politics is the sucks. :annoyed
livesoft
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by livesoft »

I think only folks who do not have supervisors should buy gifts for employees.
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thenextguy
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by thenextguy »

Wow. Shouldn't the company be responsible for bonuses?

I don't blame you for being resentful. I think you are justified, but you're right that it might still cause you problems if you don't contribute.

Can you communicate your feelings anonymously? There's gotta be other people that feel the same way.
Zecht
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Zecht »

A lot of this depends on the politics and culture there, as well as how long you intend to stay. Do you love your job? Are you going to try for management and move up those ranks? The concept of "social donations" tends to be a weeding ground for people they are trying to determine would be good managers a lot of times, depending on who is pushing for it. If you think of it as contributing to your future-manager position, it's kind of like an investment, albeit a poor one if you don't approve of the practice.

Basically don't do it unless you have a vested interest in moving up the ladder in your company through management. I'd also suggest finding a better job after putting in some time there so that you can find a culture that better suits you.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by JohnFiscal »

Ganacel wrote:My supervisor sent out an email asking those of us with higher incomes to contribute several hundred dollars out of our own pockets to pay for holiday gifts/bonuses for other employees who are lower earning.
The "chutzpah" is astonishing!

Presumably, this is not a large corporation.
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czeckers
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by czeckers »

You said gifts/bonuses. Those are two completely separate things. If a company wants to give bonuses, it should do it out of its profits, not your income.

Doing an office gift exchange is one thing. Being told to give gifts to other employees because you have a "higher income" is creepy. However, you have to look into how this practice began and the larger context within the company culture before you decide how to handle it. Is this just one supervisor making something up, or is this some kind of long standing tradition? Do people actually give the suggested amount?

Presumably your supervisor makes more than you. Will he/she be giving a gift/bonus to you?

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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by irishbear99 »

Does your work have an HR department that can quietly and tactfully intervene? What your boss is doing may be against labor laws or company policy.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Billcarpenter »

Wow! Is this a small company? Family run? I would totally balk at a suggestion like that too. I'm not sure if someone will be "keeping track" of who donates what, but I'd probably just pass this time. Being new and having prior plans for the money should be excuse enough if anyone asks. But honestly that is a complete joke that the company requests this, they have no idea about your personal finance situation other than what they pay you.
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Ganacel
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Ganacel »

livesoft wrote:I think only folks who do not have supervisors should buy gifts for employees.
Me too. And out of pre-tax company dollars, not out of their personal post-tax income.
thenextguy wrote:Wow. Shouldn't the company be responsible for bonuses?

I don't blame you for being resentful. I think you are justified, but you're right that it might still cause you problems if you don't contribute.

Can you communicate your feelings anonymously? There's gotta be other people that feel the same way.
That was my thought too. Presumably the company doesn't pay these employees any holiday bonuses, which I agree sucks for them, but why is it then my responsibility to make up that shortfall personally?

Not sure how I'd communicate my feelings anonymously about this. We're a pretty small group.
Zecht wrote:A lot of this depends on the politics and culture there, as well as how long you intend to stay. Do you love your job? Are you going to try for management and move up those ranks? The concept of "social donations" tends to be a weeding ground for people they are trying to determine would be good managers a lot of times, depending on who is pushing for it. If you think of it as contributing to your future-manager position, it's kind of like an investment, albeit a poor one if you don't approve of the practice.

Basically don't do it unless you have a vested interest in moving up the ladder in your company through management. I'd also suggest finding a better job after putting in some time there so that you can find a culture that better suits you.
I do not love my job. Don't hate it either, but I don't love it, and I do not have any interest in being a manager. And even if I did, I strongly disapprove of the practice of pressuring people to make donations to transfer their personal money to others.
JohnFiscal wrote:
Ganacel wrote:My supervisor sent out an email asking those of us with higher incomes to contribute several hundred dollars out of our own pockets to pay for holiday gifts/bonuses for other employees who are lower earning.
The "chutzpah" is astonishing!

Presumably, this is not a large corporation.

It's a small unit that is part of a larger corporation.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by JohnFiscal »

Ganacel wrote:It's a small unit that is part of a larger corporation.
Anonymously pass it up the food chain to corporate HR?
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Postmon »

I hate this whole group gift mentality that has emerged where you get guilted in to giving for almost anything. Whether it's at work, for teachers, donations at a cash register, etc.. As an individual, yes give where appropriate. That said, I'd suck it up and give the full amount. Consider it a business cost especially since you're the new kid on the block. Unfortunately people remember these things.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Ganacel »

czeckers wrote:You said gifts/bonuses. Those are two completely separate things. If a company wants to give bonuses, it should do it out of its profits, not your income.

Doing an office gift exchange is one thing. Being told to give gifts to other employees because you have a "higher income" is creepy. However, you have to look into how this practice began and the larger context within the company culture before you decide how to handle it. Is this just one supervisor making something up, or is this some kind of long standing tradition? Do people actually give the suggested amount?

Presumably your supervisor makes more than you. Will he/she be giving a gift/bonus to you?

-K
I was told the money would go both for buying gifts AND giving each of these employees a $1000 bonus. I'm serious, when the email came, I thought it was a typo by a factor of ten.

My supervisor said this has been a long-ongoing tradition from before either of our time. I've never faced this before, so I don't know if people really do give the suggested amount.

The only "gift/bonus" I'm getting for Christmas is because I'm working on Christmas and I get holiday pay for that. No extra from my supervisor that I'm aware of.
irishbear99 wrote:Does your work have an HR department that can quietly and tactfully intervene? What your boss is doing may be against labor laws or company policy.
Yes, though this may be a bit of a nuclear option, don't you think? I'm not looking to start a war with my coworkers here. I just don't want to feel like I'm being robbed of my money that I earned!
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HueyLD
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by HueyLD »

.............
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Post by barefootjan »

My supervisor sent out an email asking those of us with higher incomes to contribute several hundred dollars out of our own pockets to pay for holiday gifts/bonuses for other employees who are lower earning
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of! Why doesn't the company restructure their method of compensation instead? Will these "lower earning" employees know where the money came from? If I was one of them, and I knew it came from my co-workers and not the company, I wouldn't want it.

Astonishing.

Is it some kind of test to see who is stupid enough (in my opinion) to do it???? Will management peg you as easy to push around?

I guess if I was you, I'd write a polite letter refusing to do it on the grounds that I was hired for X dollars with X in bonuses, that's what I expect to get, and that's what I use for planning purposes. Just like a well-run company, my budget is already set. They should understand the concept of sound money management, right?!

You could even throw in something about having already donated to the charity of your choice, if you don't want to seem "heartless."

Wait a minute - is this requested donation tax-deductible? Does it lower your taxable income?
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Ganacel
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Ganacel »

barefootjan wrote:a minute - is this requested donation tax-deductible? Does it lower your taxable income?
No. It would come out of my personal post-tax bank account.
Postmon wrote:I hate this whole group gift mentality that has emerged where you get guilted in to giving for almost anything. Whether it's at work, for teachers, donations at a cash register, etc.. As an individual, yes give where appropriate. That said, I'd suck it up and give the full amount. Consider it a business cost especially since you're the new kid on the block. Unfortunately people remember these things.
That's what my older sister, who is a corporate executive type and knows all about this stuff, says too. I know that she, and you, are probably right that it will come back to bite me if I don't do it.

Ok, so assuming I do it, how do I stop it from eating me alive with resentment? Because even thinking about it really makes me feel angry and resentful toward my coworkers, including my supervisor, who is someone I otherwise like and respect.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by White Coat Investor »

My co-workers (not my employees and in fact we don't even work for the same employer) make between 1/3 and 1/30th of what I make. I just shut up and hand over the cash and consider it a privilege to be able to do so. Oftentimes if we structure it right we can even do it pre-tax.
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Do you have a "no soliciatation" policy at work.

Post by Marmot »

If you do, that is a possible answer.
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dbr
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by dbr »

Ganacel wrote:
barefootjan wrote:a minute - is this requested donation tax-deductible? Does it lower your taxable income?
No. It would come out of my personal post-tax bank account.
Postmon wrote:I hate this whole group gift mentality that has emerged where you get guilted in to giving for almost anything. Whether it's at work, for teachers, donations at a cash register, etc.. As an individual, yes give where appropriate. That said, I'd suck it up and give the full amount. Consider it a business cost especially since you're the new kid on the block. Unfortunately people remember these things.
That's what my older sister, who is a corporate executive type and knows all about this stuff, says too. I know that she, and you, are probably right that it will come back to bite me if I don't do it.

I agree. You can't not do it. I also would have classified this as a cost of doing business, as objectionable as it might be.

Ok, so assuming I do it, how do I stop it from eating me alive with resentment? Because even thinking about it really makes me feel angry and resentful toward my coworkers, including my supervisor, who is someone I otherwise like and respect.

Being resentful of coworkers who make less than you even with a "gift" is irrational and ungenerous. You could rethink your attitude on that count. Blaming your supervisor for a tradition that he also has no easy way to reverse is also irrational and unhelpful. The ultimate solution is to start planning your move to another employer in time and at your advantage. "Living well is the best revenge."
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by stoptothink »

HueyLD wrote:This kind of crap is so prevalent in Corporation America.

Where I used to work, the CEO decided that 100% participation in donations to the United Way was the corporate goal and each supervisor/manager was told to "make sure" that we met that goal. And those who refused to help the company's goal were eliminated in corporate downsizing. :shock:
When I opened this thread, this is what I was expecting to be discussed. My current employer does this, as we get some of our funding from United Way, but they aren't quite as pushy as other organizations I am familiar with. Being asked to buy gifts and/or provide bonuses for lower paid employees; that has got to be a joke.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Tinkerbelle »

I would not give anything. I hate when people ask me to contribute to some new cause at work like I am supposed to hand over money just because I am a physician. My money is allotted for other things and spending hundreds of dollars on gifts for people I barely know is not going to happen.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Clearly_Irrational »

It sucks, but you're probably stuck paying. Failing to participate will probably torpedo your reputation with management. I'd ask for a receipt, that way you can file for either a charity deduction or unreimbursed business expense depending on your accountant's interpretation of the event.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by irishbear99 »

Ganacel wrote:
irishbear99 wrote:Does your work have an HR department that can quietly and tactfully intervene? What your boss is doing may be against labor laws or company policy.
Yes, though this may be a bit of a nuclear option, don't you think? I'm not looking to start a war with my coworkers here. I just don't want to feel like I'm being robbed of my money that I earned!
Hence my use of the words "quietly and tactfully." However, if you're worried about that going over like a lead balloon, is there a coworker you're closest to that you can ask about this tradition? Is it an annual thing? Does everyone participate? Is there reprisal if someone doesn't? If you can get these questions answered, it may help you formulate your way ahead.
Ganacel wrote:Ok, so assuming I do it, how do I stop it from eating me alive with resentment? .
Look for another job? I'm not being facetious. I would also feel extreme resentment if I were in your situation, and the idea of having to deal with that year after year would just eat me alive.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by flyingaway »

Each Christmas, we collect money to be distributed to the secretaries and the janitors. Although I don't think we should do that, in stead, the employers should do that or boost their salaries if they are underpaid, I have been obligated to contribute every year ($20-$30).
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Post by barefootjan »

Tinkerbell
My money is allotted for other things and spending hundreds of dollars on gifts for people I barely know is not going to happen.
I don't even spend that much on people I *do* know... ;-)
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by dbr »

flyingaway wrote:Each Christmas, we collect money to be distributed to the secretaries and the janitors. Although I don't think we should do that, in stead, the employers should do that or boost their salaries if they are underpaid, I have been obligated to contribute every year ($20-$30).
Hopefully, however, you don't resent secretaries or janitors. I wonder if the secretaries and janitors do not feel patronized.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Postmon »

Ganacel wrote: Ok, so assuming I do it, how do I stop it from eating me alive with resentment? Because even thinking about it really makes me feel angry and resentful toward my coworkers, including my supervisor, who is someone I otherwise like and respect.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Ganacel »

EmergDoc wrote:My co-workers (not my employees and in fact we don't even work for the same employer) make between 1/3 and 1/30th of what I make. I just shut up and hand over the cash and consider it a privilege to be able to do so. Oftentimes if we structure it right we can even do it pre-tax.
Maybe this is just exhibit #1 showing what a cold, heartless bastard I am, but it's unlikely that my personality flaws, such as they are, will be corrected by the time I have to make a decision. Would you still hand over the cash if it made you resentful toward your coworkers to do it? I'm sure I'll get over it eventually (though I doubt I'll ever see it as a "privilege" to be "allowed" to give my hard-earned money to other people, but whatever). But right now even thinking about having to do this makes me feel angry and resentful.

And again, I CANNOT make this contribution pretax. It would be coming out of my own, personal bank account. If it was a question of the company doing it and thereby decreasing my personal bonus by a bit, fine. I'd be on board with that, because I agree with the idea that everyone deserves a piece of the pie, even the janitor and the secretary. That's only fair. But that's not the situation here.
Marmot wrote:If you do, that is a possible answer.
If I do what?
flyingaway wrote:Each Christmas, we collect money to be distributed to the secretaries and the janitors. Although I don't think we should do that, in stead, the employers should do that or boost their salaries if they are underpaid, I have been obligated to contribute every year ($20-$30).
I'm being asked to contribute over ten times that much, so I'm sure you can understand then why I'm angry about it. :oops:
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TxAg
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by TxAg »

When I first read this, I thought maybe everyone would chip in a few bucks to get the secretary something nice. As I continued to read, it became evident this isn't the case.

I dislike the principle of it, but for me, it would depend on the amount. $50 maybe...$500 no way.

That being said, I have given a coworker or two a $100 bill as a "Thank You"....I'm in sales and they help me all year long. It wasn't enough for all that they do, but the gesture went a long way. I wish I could do it for everyone but not everyone goes above and beyond.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Crow Hunter »

To me, it depends on what the pay/bonus differential between you and the lower paid employees are.

I know of a local company where the rank and file got a $500 "bonus" while the managers got $150,000 up to a $1,000,000+ bonuses.

In that type of a situation, I would be much more apt to be generous.

If you are talking about a much more reasonable difference between your pay/bonuses and the lower paid employees, I would also be a little put out.

One thing to keep in mind is does having happy, engaged lower paid employees net you a larger bonus/make you look better?

If you could do your job with no influence whatsoever of the lower paid employees, I would be hesitant to give as well. If however, you benefit from their work, I would be more inclined to be generous.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Ganacel »

Clearly_Irrational wrote:It sucks, but you're probably stuck paying. Failing to participate will probably torpedo your reputation with management. I'd ask for a receipt, that way you can file for either a charity deduction or unreimbursed business expense depending on your accountant's interpretation of the event.
I like that idea. It would make me feel better if I thought of it as a charitable donation, although this isn't a "charity" I'd ever willingly choose to donate to. Like I said, I don't even hardly know these people.
barefootjan wrote:I don't even spend that much on people I *do* know... ;-)
Me either. To be fair, this is the first time I've ever had a large enough income where it would even be possible for me to spend more. But just because I have a new job with a higher salary doesn't mean I want to spend it all on consumer stuff. In fact, I don't buy that kind of stuff for myself, which is why I think I resent the idea of being forced to pay for other people's Christmas spending so much. Because let's face it, that's what this is: a program to take money away from me that I would have otherwise saved, and use it to fund other people's Christmas spending.
dbr wrote:Hopefully, however, you don't resent secretaries or janitors.
I don't. I understand that it's not their fault. They may not even know where the money comes from, though if they did, I suspect they'd probably figure, oh well, those guys are rich. They can afford it, like what Tinkerbelle suggested people think about doctors. That's the kind of attitude that makes me see red. No one gave me that money as a gift either. I worked for it, paid taxes on it, and want to invest it instead of spending it on someone else's Christmas bonus. If it were $25 or even $50, meh, whatever. That's a small enough amount that it won't hurt me. But several hundred dollars does hurt me. I'd have to take it out of my savings, and yes, I resent that I'd be doing that to fund something that goes against my personal beliefs (i.e., spending a lot for holiday gifts and other consumer items). If the collection were for someone's sick kid, or to help someone whose house burned down, or even to help someone who was getting married/having a baby, I'd feel better about it than I do about this. I guess the two big issues are these: I don't believe in this "cause," and it's coming out of my own personal savings and not just a token amount of money that I'll never miss. I still think it's wrong, even if I'm forced to go along with it to get along.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Postmon »

Ganacel wrote: And again, I CANNOT make this contribution pretax. It would be coming out of my own, personal bank account. If it was a question of the company doing it and thereby decreasing my personal bonus by a bit, fine. I'd be on board with that, because I agree with the idea that everyone deserves a piece of the pie, even the janitor and the secretary. That's only fair. But that's not the situation here.
I don't see the difference. Say you received a $1,000 bonus for your personal accomplishments and the company said we're going to deduct $300 from everyone to give to those who aren't eligible for bonuses. I'd be more upset about that.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Ganacel »

Crow Hunter wrote:To me, it depends on what the pay/bonus differential between you and the lower paid employees are.

I know of a local company where the rank and file got a $500 "bonus" while the managers got $150,000 up to a $1,000,000+ bonuses.

In that type of a situation, I would be much more apt to be generous.

If you are talking about a much more reasonable difference between your pay/bonuses and the lower paid employees, I would also be a little put out.

One thing to keep in mind is does having happy, engaged lower paid employees net you a larger bonus/make you look better?

If you could do your job with no influence whatsoever of the lower paid employees, I would be hesitant to give as well. If however, you benefit from their work, I would be more inclined to be generous.
As far as I know, I'm getting NO Christmas bonus, except for what I get as holiday pay differential because I'm working that day. That being said, of course I benefit from other people's work. Probably the janitor at anyone's job is the one person we'd all miss the most if they didn't show up one day, huh? They do not make me "look good" or raise my bonus AFAIK.
Postmon wrote:I don't see the difference. Say you received a $1,000 bonus for your personal accomplishments and the company said we're going to deduct $300 from everyone to give to those who aren't eligible for bonuses. I'd be more upset about that.
Maybe it's psychological, but having to write the check out of my own bank account really hurts. If I never had the money in the first place, it would be like receiving $700 in found money, not like having to pay $300 from my own post-tax dollars. I get what you're saying though. It just doesn't hurt as badly to pay it from the pool as it does coming from my own bank account.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by GerryL »

HueyLD wrote:This kind of crap is so prevalent in Corporation America.

Where I used to work, the CEO decided that 100% participation in donations to the United Way was the corporate goal and each supervisor/manager was told to "make sure" that we met that goal. And those who refused to help the company's goal were eliminated in corporate downsizing. :shock:

Group gift-giving is anonymous at my (former) megacorp employer -- at least on most of the teams where I worked. Someone getting married? Feel free to contribute to a gift. No names or amounts revealed. All are welcome to sign the card. UW campaign pledges are encouraged (I served as an "ambassador" for several years), but no one in the company hierarchy knows who signed up or declined.

I enjoy giving, but I despise the social pressure. Early on in my time with the company, my supervisor was going off on a big trip and dropped hints about an appropriate gift. (Huh?!?) One of her lackeys priced the item and announced that we should each cough up $xx.00 so we could buy it for her. Considering that she was working to get me fired, I had no intention of playing. I escaped that group before she returned. I spent another 20 years with the company before retiring.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by surfstar »

Ganacel wrote: To be fair, this is the first time I've ever had a large enough income where it would even be possible for me to spend more.
Consider it an unforeseen 'tax' on your higher salary. As EmergDoc said, be happy to be in a position to pay it.


My pizza got delivered quite a bit slower than I would have liked last night. I figured that it was not likely the overworked/stressed driver's fault. I still tipped him, although I didn't feel like the overall meal/experience was deserving of a tip. He was in his 30's and had a European accent. I know I'm more comfortably off now and shouldn't sweat the smaller stuff.
[FYI, I rent a 1br apt and likely make much less than the OP in a HCOL]
Last edited by surfstar on Thu Nov 13, 2014 3:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
barefootjan
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Post by barefootjan »

I thought a good compromise might be to contribute, say, 1/3 of the amount requested, which would be in keeping with how long I've been working here anyway. I'd still feel mildly resentful about it, but at least I could live with it (and I could pay for it without dipping into my investing pot)
Pointing out that you're new and haven't even earned a full year's salary yourself yet actually does sound like the best compromise, and it's something your supervisor is likely to understand and appreciate.
I resent that I'd be doing that to fund something that goes against my personal beliefs (i.e., spending a lot for holiday gifts and other consumer items). If the collection were for someone's sick kid, or to help someone whose house burned down, or even to help someone who was getting married/having a baby, I'd feel better about it than I do about this.
Wow, first time I've found someone who agrees with me on holiday spending!

Here's an idea: try to get to know a couple of the beneficiaries of your "gift." Maybe you'll find that they actually do have a sick kid or something. I wouldn't just assume that they're going to blow it all of "stuff" - although that's certainly possible. :(
Last edited by barefootjan on Tue Feb 16, 2021 3:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Stonebr
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Stonebr »

Ganacel wrote:
czeckers wrote: I was told the money would go both for buying gifts AND giving each of these employees a $1000 bonus. I'm serious, when the email came, I thought it was a typo by a factor of ten.

My supervisor said this has been a long-ongoing tradition from before either of our time. I've never faced this before, so I don't know if people really do give the suggested amount.
Are these bonuses taxable income or gifts? Has your supervisor consulted the corporate law department? This sounds like something the IRS would be interested in, and if it was me I wouldn't want to be involved until the law dept signs off.
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warner25
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by warner25 »

My first thought is that most people in my office, even those earning six figures, seem to live paycheck-to-paycheck (or actively go into debt for Christmas) and can't even contribute "several hundred dollars" to their own retirement savings each month. So I have a hard time believing that many people in your office are giving up this much money. We aren't talking about a token $5 or $20 here.

My second thought is this: When keeping your job depends on doing something fairly unreasonable, then maybe it's not a job worth keeping. Hopefully you are in a strong enough position (with savings and skills to find another job if necessary) to be able to decline or ignore this request and just see what happens.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by dumbbunny »

Ganacel wrote:
Marmot wrote:If you do, that is a possible answer.
If I do what?
OP - Marmot's subject title on his/her post to you asks the question, "Do you have a "no soliciatation" policy at work.

My advice is to prorate your donation for the time you have been there. If you have been there three months, pay 25% of the "ask."
Then either bird dog this issue for next year, forget about it and pay the full amount next year or find a new job.
Last edited by dumbbunny on Thu Nov 13, 2014 3:35 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Ganacel
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Ganacel »

surfstar wrote:My pizza got delivered quite a bit slower than I would have liked last night. I figured that it was not likely the overworked/stressed driver's fault. I still tipped him, although I didn't feel like the overall meal/experience was deserving of a tip. He was in his 30's and had a European accent. I know I'm more comfortably off now and shouldn't sweat the smaller stuff.
I will happily pay your $2-$3 pizza tip (and your entire $20 pizza bill) if you will make this contribution of several hundred dollars for me. But I hope you saved me a slice, cause I highly doubt I earn >10X as much money as you do. :wink:
Stonebr wrote:Are these bonuses taxable income or gifts? Has your supervisor consulted the corporate law department? This sounds like something the IRS would be interested in, and if it was me I wouldn't want to be involved until the law dept signs off.
No idea. Not interested in knowing the details.
warner25 wrote:My first thought is that most people in my office, even those earning six figures, seem to live paycheck-to-paycheck (or actively go into debt for Christmas) and can't even contribute "several hundred dollars" to their own retirement savings each month. So I have a hard time believing that many people in your office are giving up this much money. We aren't talking about a token $5 or $20 here.
I don't know.
warner25 wrote:My second thought is this: When keeping your job depends on doing something fairly unreasonable, then maybe it's not a job worth keeping. Hopefully you are in a strong enough position (with savings and skills to find another job if necessary) to be able to decline or ignore this request and just see what happens.
I think I'm going to go with paying what I feel like I can afford and see what happens. That way I can do a hybrid of both. As Jan said, my supervisor and coworkers know this is my first job in this industry and I haven't been working for very long. I think they will cut me some slack for that.
Peterjens wrote:My advice is to prorate your donation for the time you have been there. If you have been there three months, pay 25% of the "ask."
Then either bird dog this issue for next year, forget about and pay the full amount next year or find a new job.
I think this is what I will do. It still makes me feel mildly resentful, but it seems like a reasonable compromise, and I can afford that much without going into my own savings.
[OT comments removed by admin LadyGeek]
I know this is a joke, but, um, no. Just no.

Thanks again for all of your input, everyone. I feel like now I have a solution that I can live with.
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BL
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by BL »

I think it is important to think in some relative term, such as: they want me to give six hours pay as a contribution!

I recall a job where the person I replaced was given farewell gifts from an office collection. I have forgotten now, but I probably donated 1-2 hours pay to this person I knew for a week. (However, I was given farewell gifts of 5+ hours pay when I left there, so I really can't complain even though it seemed odd at the start.)
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by lululu »

This is kind of stunning.

All I've seen is the United Way arm twisting, and I've always Just Said No to that. Back aways, they did not include animal charities, which is what I give most to, and did include the Boy Scouts, whom I don't donate to because of their "political" stands. Also, in my opinion giant charities by their nature or in some cases (I'm talking about you, Komen) by design waste a lot of money on administrative stuff. That seemed to come from higher up in the company, so it didn't seem to impact my job. I resented it, though.

I'd ask a highly paid coworker what the scoop is. If you're stuck with this, I'd prorate it by the time you've worked there vs. a year and include a note of explanation.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by dbCooperAir »

Ganacel wrote:My supervisor sent out an email asking those of us with higher incomes to contribute several hundred dollars out of our own pockets to pay for holiday gifts/bonuses for other employees who are lower earning. Other than the social pressure (i.e., everyone else is presumably doing it, so I "should" do it too to be part of the group), I don't really want to participate in this wealth transfer at all.
Maybe you should send out a email to the middle class income workers to contribute $50-$100 to pay for holiday gifts/bonuses for the lower, lower earners.

I'm sorry but this kind of nonsense drives me crazy, but I don't tip the gas station attendant when I pick up a doughnut either.

I hate to say this but I think you are screwed and you need to pony up being you just started.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Grt2bOutdoors »

It's common, suck it up and be a trooper. No one likes it, but unless your family is destitute where every penny counts, keep yer trap shut unless you want to be "riffed". Don't give them a reason to look for "a reason". And save like the dickens so you can be the one to dictate your departure.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Ron »

JohnFiscal wrote:
Ganacel wrote:My supervisor sent out an email asking those of us with higher incomes to contribute several hundred dollars out of our own pockets to pay for holiday gifts/bonuses for other employees who are lower earning.
The "chutzpah" is astonishing!

Presumably, this is not a large corporation.
Will he give you a receipt for your donation that you can claim as a deduction on your income tax :mrgreen: ???

- Ron
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munemaker
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by munemaker »

I have worked in industry for 40 years and have never heard of anything like this.

Where I am currently employed, we have a very voluntary, no pressure solicitation for United Way, which the company matches 100%. I do make a modest contribution and that's the only work related contribution I make all year. I do buy some small ($25 to $50) Christmas presents for my staff, but that is totally my decision; some supervisors do this, some do not.

If I were you, I would also have a very hard time accepting this practice. Is this a company wide initiative or just your supervisor going off the reservation? If it is just your supervisor, I would definitely blow it off. If it is company wide, I might be a little more careful. In any event, I wouldn't hesitate to play the "I just started and can't afford it this year" card until I got the lay of the land.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by Bfwolf »

I think pro-rating it is a fine solution for this year. I expect everybody will understand.

Next year though, I'd be prepared to pay the whole enchilada.

I was at one of those companies where there was forced voluntary United Way donations, which I feel is equally ridiculous as forced voluntary bonus-for-others donations. I was extremely bitter about it the first year. Then I just considered it a cost of doing business--one thing that helped is that I always donated the first day they asked for the money. That way I put it behind me psychologically and didn't provide a window for resentment to build up within myself.

The voluntary gift for an admin asst stuff I never resented and happily paid (and occasionally led the collection). But that stuff was always like $10 a person, a far cry from what you're talking about.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by CFOKevin »

Your sister is right, pay up and try not to resent it.

If it really bothers you (and it sounds like it does) let HR know that you were surprised by this as a new employee. If this is going to continue, they should let new hires know about it so they can include it in their holiday budgets. If you get a sympathetic ear, you can inquire as to whether it is a Companywide practice since you have never heard of it before.
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by LadyGeek »

This thread is now in the Personal Consumer Issues forum (donations).

Also, please try to keep the language "family-friendly".
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by HomerJ »

surfstar wrote:My pizza got delivered quite a bit slower than I would have liked last night. I figured that it was not likely the overworked/stressed driver's fault. I still tipped him, although I didn't feel like the overall meal/experience was deserving of a tip. He was in his 30's and had a European accent. I know I'm more comfortably off now and shouldn't sweat the smaller stuff.
[FYI, I rent a 1br apt and likely make much less than the OP in a HCOL]
Did you tip him $300?
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HomerJ
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Re: Dealing with pressure for "social donations" at work

Post by HomerJ »

Ganacel wrote:I'm getting NO Christmas bonus, except for what I get as holiday pay differential because I'm working that day.
How much do you make Ganacel? Compared to the lower-paid workers? If you're getting time-and-a-half on the holiday, this sure doesn't sound like you have a super-high paying management or doctor job.

I would never pay $200-$300 for other people's bonuses. If the company wants them to have bonuses, the company should pay them more... Even if that means lowering executive and higher-paid employee salaries (including mine).

I throw in $20 every time there's a bake sale for some charity at work (At least I get a couple of brownies for my $20), but I would never pay for someone else's bonus.

Don't pay and see what happens... They won't fire you over it, although you may get on a "list"... So who cares? If being on that list has a noticeable impact on your work life, then you can start looking for another job.

I've never heard of this kind of practice... but it appears others have.
Last edited by HomerJ on Thu Nov 13, 2014 5:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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