Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

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MN-Investor
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by MN-Investor »

(We have no children.)

When we were in our early 40's, we finished paying off our house. We had been strong savers before that, but it reached a new level when we added what had been the mortgage payment to our investment account.

The biggest change we noticed on our 40s was the mortality of dear relatives. My husband's beloved older brother, 53 at that time, died from a short bout with pancreatic cancer. My husband was 48. A year later my husband's mother passed away. During that same time period, my father was having health issues. He and my mom moved closer to my brother (a physician) and me. For a number of reasons, including the fact that our savings were on track, I quit working at age 46. That allowed me to help my parents with their move, along with being available to take Dad to out-of-town doctor appointments.

I've worn glasses since 5th grade, but I know that my husband hated to have to start to use glasses in his 40s. By now, at age 60, my husband has reading glasses by the computer, by the bedside, by the couch, in each car, in the garage, etc. They're so cheap, I think that makes a lot of sense.
The key to success - Save early, save often, invest well.
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nedsaid
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by nedsaid »

I want to echo the comments about eyeglasses. At about age 41, I started noticing difficulty in reading in low light situations. About age 45, I had to use reading glasses all the time. What a bummer, I always had good eyesight. In fact I was a bit farsighted.

Financially the 40's were good financially. No health issues other than a virus that I caught that did funny things to my nervous system. I recovered from that. A touch of asthma but otherwise everything A-OK.

I also started to travel. I took my first international trip to Japan at age 43. Wish I had done it sooner but when I was younger, I didn't have much money.

Age gets you experience and perspective. As I get older, I care less and less about what other people think. But please, don't think that age will necessarily give you wisdom. People who were fools in their twenties are sadly often still foolish in their eighties. Be smart enough to learn from your own mistakes and the mistakes of others. But essentially, I am the same person that I was many years ago. Older and hopefully wiser. I am not sure if I really am a better person or not. I hope so.

I am 55 now and can hardly believe it. So enjoy the 40's. Best wishes for your upcoming decade.
A fool and his money are good for business.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Dude2 »

I would like to agree with the sentiments about not letting yourself go or giving up on your physical self. I was very surprised to find that I did not start to gradually get weaker as I aged, but quite the opposite. My body hasn't given up on me yet. Exercise and hard work is not entirely a young man's game in other words. Sure, people in their 20's can certainly run me into the ground probably, but what I'm saying is that my personal performance in my 20's compared to my 40's is that I am actually better now than I was then.

I agree there are mid-life crisis aspects to consider, but I think that we go through these phases continually throughout our lives. There were plenty of times in my younger days when things really sucked. I'm not sure it is about age more than it is about the circumstances that you can find yourself in at any given time. People that are unhappy should probably react to that and try to take action to bring about a return to better times no matter what age they are.

As for the eye thing. Yes, I brag to you that I always had better than average vision -- very good with a gun. Well, all of a sudden at 46 my eyes went. I'm talking within about a six week period. I didn't know what was happening -- thought I was having a reaction to medication or something. Now I'm enslaved to reading glasses, and the focus muscles just aren't what they were. I was surprised by the rapid decline, but my eye doctor says that it is very common that it comes on you quickly like that.
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LowER
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by LowER »

Yep. 20/10 my whole life then all of a sudden can't see poop right in front of me.
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brian2013
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by brian2013 »

Thanks for the great replies, I've enjoyed hearing about your experiences. I hope to hear more! "LOL" with the reading glasses thing. Do they make contacts for that? Thanks especially to those who shared their personal experiences with things like illness and divorce. I'm sorry to hear you had those experiences. I know you can never prepare for things like that, but it's a reminder to me to appreciate what I have, now.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Bud »

Four things (which has been mentioned here in some form already):

Health - I neglected my health until I was 44 but I wish that I had kept in shape through my 30's ( was in pretty good shape in my teens and 20's). The earlier you start, the better. I weight 310lbs on my 44th birthday then I dropped 70lbs and kept it off over the last seven years. Honestly, I would like to lose another 20-30lbs.

Family - Spend time with your wife and children and make it time that counts. I have four children ages 14 to 7 and they all can be influenced - My hope is for my wife and I to be the primary influencers and that only comes with time and sacrifice. I plan on being married "until death do us part" and I plan on it being enjoyable. Rough times come and it takes commitment to work through those difficulties rather than walk away, but it is worth it.

Finances - Stay the course. When I was 40, my net worth was around $250,000. Now at 50, it is $1.5m. This was done in an incredibly boring way of investing regularly from my income in index funds, reinvesting and saving most of any windfalls.

Spiritual - Find your center. For me, it is in Jesus Christ and the values that he taught. For others, it is in other places. But if we don't know what we believe or the reason for our life, it is hard to maintain an even keel through out our lives. Hard times inevitable come to all of us in some form or another and taking care of our soul needs allows us to weather the storms of life in healthy ways for ourselves and those around us.

All the best regards to you - may your 40's be a time of great reward and joy.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Professor Emeritus »

:happy As a lawyer it was appalling that I could not read the fine print in a contract. :)
Then I realized it was 12 point type

I couldn't hear the female students in class so DW took me to have my hearing checked. Sure enough I had a congenital notch in my hearing right at the pitch of a small woman's voice. Audiologist tells my wife Its true he hasn't been hearing you
DW says without batting an eyelash too bad, he has missed a lot of salacious offers

I own two pairs of first class hearing aids. I don't want to miss a single offer. :D
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brian2013
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by brian2013 »

Professor Emeritus wrote::happy As a lawyer it was appalling that I could not read the fine print in a contract. :)
Then I realized it was 12 point type

I couldn't hear the female students in class so DW took me to have my hearing checked. Sure enough I had a congenital notch in my hearing right at the pitch of a small woman's voice. Audiologist tells my wife Its true he hasn't been hearing you
DW says without batting an eyelash too bad, he has missed a lot of salacious offers

I own two pairs of first class hearing aids. I don't want to miss a single offer. :D
This forum needs a "Like" button like a certain social media site, because i would "like" this whole post. sounds like you and the DW have a good sense of humor :sharebeer
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by jfn111 »

I turned forty in 1996. The S&P doubled over the next 10 years. I put away 27% of my income and the wife put away 25% of hers to set us up for retirement at age 55. The kids graduated and moved on with their lives and the wife and I bought Harley's. :D
I hit the peak of my career and earnings in my 40's and then my position was eliminated. Evil Corp offered me a buyout or the opportunity to go back to a sales rep position. With 6 years left to retirement, and a pension, I sucked it up and said "no problem".
I got my first pair of bifocals and my pool shooting went to heck. :oops:
Traveled to Europe 4 times and went on some nice motorcycle trips.
All in all a good decade.
lightheir
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by lightheir »

LowER wrote:Rollercoaster decade for me. Near 50 now. Wore reading glasses at work for the first time yesterday, after using at home for a while. Crushing divorce near mid 40s - lost everything and then a lot. Took several years to get to zero after becoming an uber saver and fortunately have an income now beyond expectations, so savings are growing rapidly but there will be very little compounding interest benefit over my short second investing life. Finally seeing that the light in the tunnel is not a train, for now. Confidence and appreciation of the fragility of life have never been higher.
I'm always curious as to what these jobs are that people find in their 40s that seem to accelerate earnings so much that they can pull stuff like this off (go from big debt to zero in merely a few years.) Most folks I know make only a bit more than they made in their 30s. unless they were doctors coming from a prolonged residency.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by DaleMaley »

I turned 40 in 1995. My 40's were an exciting and activity filled time. In 1994, we moved from Illinois to Greenville, SC, to start up a new plant. I was consumed with the plant start-up, and my wife was busy moving the 2 kids to new schools and new activities. In 1995, we moved to Athens, Georgia, and I started up a 2nd new plant.

On weekends, we tried to take some day trips and explore the local sights in South Carolina and Georgia with the kids. I had found index funds in 1990 as a result of an MBA finance class.......so I enjoyed the 18% compounded annual returns of the 1990s. I started saving a minimum of 15% of my gross salary starting at age 22. In many years, I saved 20 to 30% of gross W-2 income.

I was 100% stocks from age 22 until age 45. Each year I do an end-of-year financial plan review. Although I instinctively did not like bonds because of their lower returns compared to stocks, I finally decided to change AA from 100:0 to 90:10 in January of 2000. I stayed the course during the Tech Wreck of 2000 - 2002.

At my end-of-2007 financial review, I decided to switch AA from 90:10 to 60:40. Each year, I ask myself the question, "Do I have the ability, willingness, and need to take risk?" Because I had been saving at least 15% of gross income for about 29 years, I had accumulated a large enough net worth to not need to take high risk. Little did I know that is would be much easier riding down the market from the 2008 Sub-Prime Crash and back up again with 60:40 versus 90:10 portfolio.

Looking back, I would change nothing financially during my 40's. The only thing I might change is spending less time at work and more time with the wife and kids. Starting up new plants that need to run 7 days a week is very time consuming. It is a tough job to balance work hours against time spent with the family. My wife would agree that I should have spent more time with her and the kids in my 40's.
Most investors, both institutional and individual, will find that the best way to own common stocks is through an index fund that charges minimal fees. – Warren Buffett
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by FamilyMan »

As a guy nearing 40, I've really enjoyed the lessons from others about this decade of life. Just wanted to bump it to see if anyone else has any words of wisdom.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by tennisplyr »

Am 65 and retired. I worked my entire life in the Fortune 500 world. By 40 I was pretty burned out so I decided to open my own business. Tried that for a couple of years and decided to go back to the corporate world. Glad I tried it but it was not for me. Pretty much went through most of my resources but fought my way back to point of being able to retire at 61. I wish I was able to invest earlier more but I learned a lot over those years. Hey after all it's only life. if you keep fighting and never give up, things have a way of working out :D
“Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things always work out.” -Retired 13 years 😀
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Ron »

That was last century ('80's) for me; anything remembered would surely be tempered by the passage of time and not necessarily the truth :D

All I can say for sure is that I prefer my life today to anything that happened so long ago...

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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by flyingaway »

brian2013 wrote:Thanks for the great replies, I've enjoyed hearing about your experiences. I hope to hear more! "LOL" with the reading glasses thing. Do they make contacts for that? Thanks especially to those who shared their personal experiences with things like illness and divorce. I'm sorry to hear you had those experiences. I know you can never prepare for things like that, but it's a reminder to me to appreciate what I have, now.
They cannot make contact reading glasses, because you cannot walk well with reading glasses on, and contact lenses are not easy to put on and take off as reading glasses are. I do have contact lenses with EP (early presbyopia), but they do not work very well when I want to read something.
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TxAg
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by TxAg »

I'm early 30s but enjoying this thread. Thanks.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by paulsiu »

I am midway through my 40's. I gotten married later in life so didn't have that much of a opportunity to settle in before starting a family, so the 40's have been more challenging than my 30's, especially since I also relocated and essentially have to restart my life in my 40's.

On the plus side, my career and my wife is doing well. We make not amazing money but good money by average American standards and certain better money than my parents. I am more confident than in my 30's and is less bothered by things. The kids while challenging, have been less challenging than expected. With kids though, velocity of life increase exponentially. Now I wish I was more organized back in my 30's. Finance has also become a challenge due to daycare, but I since save the max to my 401K since my 20's, there is quite a bit of wiggle room if we can't cut spending enough. My health is still good and I still have hair unlike most of my friends :happy, My hair is starting to go gray, but I don't particularly care.

On the con side, I have been told that my eyes need bifocals. While my health is still good, the health of my parents and in-laws are not necessary so.

Paul
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by flyingaway »

If I could dial back time, I wish I could spend some time learning investing and personal finance in my early 40's.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by steve roy »

At 40, the Mrs. and I were pretty much broke.

We had a house (1100 square feet) with a large mortgage, and a two-year-old. My wife was working steadily but I was bouncing around, not holding a job for more than 9 months at a stretch. I had just left a teaching job in a private school in Tarzana where I made a princely $350 per week, with no benefits. This was in 1988, and I was five months away from turning forty.

THEN I got a staff position writing TV cartoons at triple my private school salary. Management loved me and I could do no wrong. But the studio was bought out and closed six months after I got there, and I was (again) unemployed. On the last day of work, my 66-year-old boss and I were putting our cardboard boxes of stuff in the trunks of our cars, and he asked me what I was going to do. I said: "I have a teaching credential, so I'll probably go get a job teaching high school. How about you?"

He sighed and said: "Oh, I think I'll go home and quietly starve."

Ten months later, I started a job at an entertainment union (The Animation Guild) that I have held now for twenty-five years. At the time, I thought I might be there six or eight years. (It was an elected post, and I figured that, sooner or later, a challenger would knock me out.) But two decades on, I find I'm still there and will be retiring from the job. And that the steady, long-term employment has allowed me to save for retirement and participate in three industry pension plans.

In the movie business, it's feast or famine. You just never know.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by camptalcott »

brian2013 wrote:I'm about a year away from turning 40. My thirties were pretty good to me - i started and stabilized my own business and witnessed the birth of my two beautiful kids, and now I find myself contemplating this "turning point" a little bit. I was just curious what the thoughtful, intelligent folks on this forum might have to teach me about it. Those of you who have already lived through their 40's, or who are in their 40's, what did this decade mean to you? Emotionally, financially, etc., I'm interested in whatever seems significant in your experiences. What did you learn, what do you wish you had done differently, or what do you wish you had known at 40? Did you have any "crisis" experiences? Let's hear it!

So I actually had a wonderful decade. Now in Boglehead terms we would probably seen as major losers but here it goes.

1) Our children were in what I call that "magical" age. they were preteen so no teenage drama kicking in, yet old enough to experience a lot of different things.
2) my very large extended family was healthy and mainly prosperous. so once again, my kids traveled a lot to see cousins etc. Older relatives had not started to decline.
3) financially, we were rather routine . we did save in our 401k and college fund but we did not invest. no money left over.
4) my late husband started his own business in our mid to late 40's and it did well almost immediately.

One thing I wish we would have done is tracked our money better. we really were not "budgeters" so we probably blew through a lot of cash unknowingly.
"He who dies with the most toys is still, nonetheless dead"
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Re: OT

Post by camptalcott »

flyingaway wrote:
brian2013 wrote:Thanks for the great replies, I've enjoyed hearing about your experiences. I hope to hear more! "LOL" with the reading glasses thing. Do they make contacts for that? Thanks especially to those who shared their personal experiences with things like illness and divorce. I'm sorry to hear you had those experiences. I know you can never prepare for things like that, but it's a reminder to me to appreciate what I have, now.
They cannot make contact reading glasses, because you cannot walk well with reading glasses on, and contact lenses are not easy to put on and take off as reading glasses are. I do have contact lenses with EP (early presbyopia), but they do not work very well when I want to read something.

What do you have? I wear Air optic multifocal lenses and they are great. generally unless I'm holding the page right up to my face, I can focus very well. some times it takes a few blinks of the eyes to get into focus but they are not bad at all.
"He who dies with the most toys is still, nonetheless dead"
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Re: OT

Post by flyingaway »

camptalcott wrote:
flyingaway wrote:
brian2013 wrote:
They cannot make contact reading glasses, because you cannot walk well with reading glasses on, and contact lenses are not easy to put on and take off as reading glasses are. I do have contact lenses with EP (early presbyopia), but they do not work very well when I want to read something.

What do you have? I wear Air optic multifocal lenses and they are great. generally unless I'm holding the page right up to my face, I can focus very well. some times it takes a few blinks of the eyes to get into focus but they are not bad at all.
I got contact lenses because I want to ware sunglasses at beaches. The eye-doctor told me that I need contact lenses with early presbyopia (EP) since I was 47 at that time. My far-sight would suffer a little with the EP lenses, but my near-sight would be improved. The result was that I can see things far away, not 20/20, I could not read materials closely. When I have my eye-glasses, I can take off the eye-glasses and put things closer to my eyes to read. With the contact lenses, I could not do that.

Fortunately, I only need contact lenses when I am at beaches (only on vacations). I ware bifocal glasses at work and home.
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LowER
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by LowER »

lightheir wrote:
LowER wrote:Rollercoaster decade for me. Near 50 now. Wore reading glasses at work for the first time yesterday, after using at home for a while. Crushing divorce near mid 40s - lost everything and then a lot. Took several years to get to zero after becoming an uber saver and fortunately have an income now beyond expectations, so savings are growing rapidly but there will be very little compounding interest benefit over my short second investing life. Finally seeing that the light in the tunnel is not a train, for now. Confidence and appreciation of the fragility of life have never been higher.
I'm always curious as to what these jobs are that people find in their 40s that seem to accelerate earnings so much that they can pull stuff like this off (go from big debt to zero in merely a few years.) Most folks I know make only a bit more than they made in their 30s. unless they were doctors coming from a prolonged residency.
Bold added by me.
Last edited by LowER on Tue Nov 18, 2014 12:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
sallys
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by sallys »

Thanks all for this discussion. Not yet in my 40s, and this is giving me lots to think about.
georgewall42
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by georgewall42 »

My random musing's on my 40's, now that I'm about to leave said decade behind:

1.) It goes by really, really fast. Zip, zoom, bang, and you're turning 50.

2.) One regret is I let myself go at various times, and wasted too much time on things that didn't matter. I'm fixing both of those issues, but it is a pitfall that's easier to run into than you may realize. Staying healthy is in important. You don't need to be a fitness freak to survive your 40's, but you'll help yourself tremendously if you exercise, eat right, etc.

3.) If you don't do it already, start getting annual physicals. Things can go wrong in your 40's, and some of those things don't have obvious symptoms either. Fortunately, most things can still be corrected if caught early.

4.) In your earlier years, you probably ran into people that were "old" when they were in their 20's and 30's, if you know what I mean. Such people will be even "older" now, and more miserable. No need to emulate their attitude; age is much of a state of mind as it is a chronological fact.

5.) Be sure to buckle down on retirement savings. You still have enough time left to be reasonably aggressive in your investments, but you have to be sure to put enough in the pot in the first place.

6.) You will work with people younger than you more often. The good thing is you can quiz them about events or music or TV shows that happened or were popular 20-30 years before and you can enjoy their quizzical looks while they pull out their phone to see what you're talking about.

7.) And, yes, I bought my first pair of reading glasses while I was 48. It's essentially inevitable you will, too. However, my distance vision remains fine.

Bottom line I really enjoyed the decade. I have the best family a person could ever ask for, and I definitely maximized my earnings. And it was in my 40's that I finally stopped fussing with market timing and opened my first account with Vanguard.

And, for those single folks entering their 40's: I know quite a few that entered their 40's determined to stay single. In the ensuing years, most of them got married and some even had kids (easier for men than women); you never know what will happen.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by tarheal93 »

Life in the 40s, with kids, is hectic. Our son, now off and working, was in high school and involved in many academic/musical and sports activities. Tried to go to all and made nearly all his last 3 years of high school. I literally made the ER schedule based on his soccer games. We did this for all the docs and their kids Go to as many events as you can. Also save for college (529s) and pay off debt. Two times a year go off for a long weekend with the wife and stay connected. One of the silly things I see is people getting tired of each other and divorcing in their 40s. Hey, the next spouse could be worse!!!! Follow the principles of Jack/Taylor/Bogleheads et al. and save in index funds. It is the better method of investing and saves you time to enjoy life. Hug your kids multiple times a week and be verbally supportive/positive instruction. It is amazing how being supportive to our son and his friends has paid off for us in recent years. These kids remember this and still stop by. I am now 55. Still working and will till I die--by choice. Could quit now but I love working-diagnosing medical problems and helping getting them fixed. One always needs to improve oneself--professionally and personally. In addition it is important to work out and keep in shape. An old medicine professor of mine used to say only work out on the days you eat. We'd laugh at this but he was right. Do some workout daily that helps you. If you have daughters there is no greater motivation than to realize you will be answering the door to 16-20 year old boys taking them out on dates. Good luck.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by jfn111 »

tarheal93 wrote:Life in the 40s, with kids, is hectic. Our son, now off and working, was in high school and involved in many academic/musical and sports activities. Tried to go to all and made nearly all his last 3 years of high school. I literally made the ER schedule based on his soccer games. We did this for all the docs and their kids Go to as many events as you can. Also save for college (529s) and pay off debt. Two times a year go off for a long weekend with the wife and stay connected. One of the silly things I see is people getting tired of each other and divorcing in their 40s. Hey, the next spouse could be worse!!!! Follow the principles of Jack/Taylor/Bogleheads et al. and save in index funds. It is the better method of investing and saves you time to enjoy life. Hug your kids multiple times a week and be verbally supportive/positive instruction. It is amazing how being supportive to our son and his friends has paid off for us in recent years. These kids remember this and still stop by. I am now 55. Still working and will till I die--by choice. Could quit now but I love working-diagnosing medical problems and helping getting them fixed. One always needs to improve oneself--professionally and personally. In addition it is important to work out and keep in shape. An old medicine professor of mine used to say only work out on the days you eat. We'd laugh at this but he was right. Do some workout daily that helps you. If you have daughters there is no greater motivation than to realize you will be answering the door to 16-20 year old boys taking them out on dates. Good luck.
Love your response, so true. :sharebeer
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by bhsince87 »

I just read this today, and it probably fits here. Although fair warning, it's looong.

It talks about some of the latest research relating to "the mid life crisis". There is apparently some scientific evidence that it's a real thing. If you skip to the last page, you can see the curve that sums it up.

I can kinda relate.

The bottom line is, if you feel a bit depressed or overwhelmed in your 40's and early 50's, have no fear. Statistically speaking, your attitude will get better!

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/arc ... is/382235/
Time is what we want most, but what we use worst. William Penn
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by dbCooperAir »

georgewall42 wrote: 6.) You will work with people younger than you more often. The good thing is you can quiz them about events or music or TV shows that happened or were popular 20-30 years before and you can enjoy their quizzical looks while they pull out their phone to see what you're talking about.
I Just started to notice this more, I'm the one with the gray hair now. This happens to work to my advantage, lucky for me in field experience is still appreciated.
Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. | -Dwight D. Eisenhower-
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by reggiesimpson »

Its literally a blur. I worked 7 days a week all year round from my late 30s to my early 60s. Like many other posts the center of my life outside work was my family. Other than that it was well.... a blur.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by powermega »

I always tell the 29 year old who is freaking out about turning 30 that your 30s are better than your 20s. You have just as much vitality as you do in your 20s, but you have more money and you're not so stupid.

Your 40s are not as good as your 30s.
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
michaelsieg
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by michaelsieg »

Your 40s are not as good as your 30s.
Well said...a lot of things seem harder and we managed to complicate our lives more than to simplify...things seemed easier in my 30s.
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dbCooperAir
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by dbCooperAir »

michaelsieg wrote:
Your 40s are not as good as your 30s.
Well said...a lot of things seem harder and we managed to complicate our lives more than to simplify...things seemed easier in my 30s.
For me I managed to complicate our lives more in the 30's, simplify our lives now in our mid 40's. I would say it tends to follow the kids age track more than anything.
Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. | -Dwight D. Eisenhower-
michaelsieg
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by michaelsieg »

For me I managed to complicate our lives more in the 30's, simplify our lives now in our mid 40's. I would say it tends to follow the kids age track more than anything
I think you are right, ours are still fairly young (elementary school) and basically they took over my 40s - wouldn't want to miss it though, but it is non-stop...
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by kaudrey »

I am 45, my DH is 40.

We got married just over a year ago (2nd marriage for me), after 8 years of on-and-off dating/living together. That has give me (us) focus in all areas of our lives. We see early retirement as a reality with a definitely plan/timeline, which is comforting to me. We are in a good place. We save, we travel, we enjoy many hobbies and are very active (no kids). My husband left his job and started his own company, which is working out great; that was a big change.

I have a bad knee that takes longer to recover than it used to (especially when we hike). And I was feeling fine until severe pain led me to the hospital in February for an emergency gallbladder removal. Due to complications, I was somewhat immobile for 3 weeks. That was fun. Not. But, I am back to my normal self.

The biggest personal issues we are dealing with are our parents' health. We are fortunate that they are all still alive (in their mid/late 70s). But my mother has cancer in her spine that they can't cure and causes her constant pain. Her quality of live is severely affected and although she appears to be in good spirits, I worry about her mental well-being. My MIL just got a clean bill of health after 6 months of chemo for stomach cancer...we are making extra efforts to visit them more (flights or 10 hours drives are involved).
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by carolinaman »

Levett wrote:What was my major take away from my 40s? That human life is exceedingly fragile.

Recommendation: pay far more attention to your family than to your portfolio for the remainder of your life.

Happy trails.

Lev
+1. Great advice!
saladdin
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by saladdin »

LowER wrote:Yep. 20/10 my whole life then all of a sudden can't see poop right in front of me.
That's a good thing. Who would want to look at poop all day?

I had lasek at 35 and now in 40's can "see" my vision slipping.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by scooterdog »

Late bloomer here, turned 40 in '03, got married when I was 35, first kid at 39.
  • Within 10 years (40yo to 50yo) did these things:
  • bought a condo that we rented out during a boom, then sold after a bust cycle for a small loss :oops:
  • bought a house for a family of 4 that was too small for a family of 5, had to sell and buy another
  • part of above, had two additional children over that time, total of three means huge life & attention shift 'inward'
  • lived at 5 addresses over those 10 years on both West and East Coasts
  • saw three friends lose their lives. Going to funerals like this is not fun but very instructive, for sure.
  • saw income more than double
  • had four employers, changing employers was usually (but not always) a good thing
  • had four distinct work roles (overlapped with employers)
  • gained 20lbs over the years, and then lost 30lbs two years ago (thank you HFLC lifestyle). Beware of weight gain - it creeps up
  • traveled widely due to job responsibilities: Singapore, Thailand, Berlin, Manchester, Madrid, Toronto, throughout US...
  • didn't max out 401(k) until mid-30's but happy I maxed it out throughout the last 15+ years (net worth north of $2M)
  • did not have means to take 'comfortable' vacations, did it on the cheap (car trips etc.)
  • FWIW my vision (while needing bifocals) is steady

    For the next 10 years (in my 50's):
  • will take 'comfortable' vacations with the kids (Yellowstone this summer was great)
  • will stay on with MegaCorp while enjoying a lot of job flexibility (working from home) and freedom to choose projects (a great perk of seniority and expertise)
  • will write a book or three, just for the heck of it
  • will remodel our (now large and comfortable) house so we can enjoy it while the kids are growing up
  • will continue keeping an eye on BMI (<25) and regular exercise
  • no plans to ER as I'm enjoying where I am and what I'm doing
This is a fun exercise!
Sambuca00
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Sambuca00 »

I've been thinking about this passively, but suddenly had some insight. Life, up to 40, generally consisted of childhood (I have children, I enjoy the reminder of what being a child entails), adolescence (not looking forward to my son, and then daughter hitting that soon), early adulthood (getting a career, married, children - holy crap!), and even the craziness of my 30's (moving, buying a house, new cars for the first time, career skyrocketing). By 40, you start to actually realize how fast time passes, having been alive for a sufficiently long time, and having had so much happen. There is a lot to unpack, and a lot going on, and to be honest, finances had better be stable by this time or else your life is going to be a hot mess :)
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Flashes1 »

I'm in my mid-40's now and learned:

1. I'm never going to be Gordon Gekko who was my idol in college.
2. I don't want that BMW that I dreamed of in college.
3. It's harder to keep off the lbs. and be really active in my young kids' lives.
4. More aches & pains.
5. Hangovers can last 2 days after a bender.
6. Have turned into my father, and political views have solidified where I can't even look at someone outside of my core belief set.
7. Counting the days until I buy that used Porsche 911 when I hit 50.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by dbCooperAir »

Flashes1 wrote:6. Have turned into my father, and political views have solidified where I can't even look at someone outside of my core belief set.
Oh my, I forgot about this one, in the same boat!
Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. | -Dwight D. Eisenhower-
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brian2013
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by brian2013 »

powermega wrote:I always tell the 29 year old who is freaking out about turning 30 that your 30s are better than your 20s. You have just as much vitality as you do in your 20s, but you have more money and you're not so stupid.

Your 40s are not as good as your 30s.
Powermega and Michaelseig, are you willing to elaborate why your 40's were not as good as the 30's?
rec7
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by rec7 »

In your 40's when you smile at pretty young ladies they just laugh.
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cheese_breath
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by cheese_breath »

rec7 wrote:In your 40's when you smile at pretty young ladies they just laugh.
So does your wife, unlike when you were younger.
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.
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Ged
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Ged »

Like a lot of people I took turning 40 as a warning and improved my health by losing weight and exercising more.

That was the good part.

Then there were about 10 years of working hard and saving money. DW got her career going which helped the saving.

At the end of the decade I went through a layoff. In retrospect it led to a much better situation although it felt lousy at the time.

My 40's were probably my least fun and least memorable decade.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Watty »

When we were in our 40's my wife and I lost three of four parents and by our late 50's we had not only lost the remaining parent but all of our aunts and uncles which officially make us the oldest generation before we were 60.

We did a cross country job relocation. There is a saying that goes something like "You spend half your adult life accumulating stuff, then the second half trying to get rid of it." After the move we started getting rid of "stuff" and we still have a long ways to go.

With only one kid we suddenly became empty nesters over night in our 40's when our son went off to college and eventually graduated.

Even when he was in college the last financial part of parenting was all in place so we had the budget to start traveling more. Traveling when school is in session and only paying for two people also makes it a lot more affordable then.

Late in my 40's my wife had breast cancer that was caught early and was a less severe type so she did well through the treatments and has been cancer free for almost ten years now. It took almost a year and half of uncertainty and focus on that and our "now verses later" balance sure got reset to be more of the "now" side.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by humbledinvestor »

My 40s are full of stress, anxiety and worry. Less fun than my 30s. While career prospects are good for the next few years and I am making more than I ever have, the following keeps my stress and anxiety up:

1) Again parents in their mid-70s. While healthy, I do worry.
2) Had a baby in my low 40s (DW is a few years younger).
3) DW wants a second baby.
4) Finances are in decent shape, but investing errors of my 20s and 30s haunt me on a frequent basis. Net worth should be at least 200-250k higher. This haunts me everyday.
5) Will have two young kids (if we have the second baby) in my mid-50s - who knows how health, career etc. at that time, and it has me worried sick.
6) Working in a fast pace job that I love, but with one toddler and maybe another baby in the future, worried about my earning potential if I cannot put the hours in.

If you are in your 20s and 30s and have discovered Bogleheads, good for you. While I was a saver all my life - bad individual stock mistakes, money languishing in cash for years, investing in a business that I later sold due to lack of time and health concerns also set my back. Wife also took 1.5 years off to take care of our baby.
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siamond
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by siamond »

I'm in my late 40s. 52, to be exact. :wink:

This was an eventful and rather stressful decade. 2 kids growing up and entering college, a younger one to keep us busy & entertained. Top earning & saving years coincided with me losing more & more interest for my job (I used to be passionate about it, then burned out - while still pretending for a while). I rediscovered a passion of my youth (fishing), and became very active in a related non-profit, then burned out (again). I built retirement savings pretty much 100% in my 40s, only discovering passive investing pretty late in the game (if only...). And then started to plan very actively for an early semi-retirement, which started a few months ago, what a bliss, I am free as a bird. :beer

And now, I feel young again and am reinventing my life. Told you, I'm back in my 40s. Feels much better than the first time, actually.
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Matigas
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Matigas »

It does not matter what you think, it only matters what you do.
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Will do good
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Will do good »

My 40's was a blur. Between raising our children and the demand of a crazy job (heavy travels), I wish I have slowed down a little and enjoy life a little more…
But than, but busting my butt early and save as much as we can, I could have retired by mid- 50's. Life is give and take. :beer
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