Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

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reader79
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by reader79 »

I'm 41 and love this thread! We have two young kids, ages 6 and 4. Although our income increased dramatically several years ago, we only buckled down and got our stuff together over the past few years. I used to be a competitive ultramarathon runner, running 100 to 135 miles without stopping. I retired from the sport when my youngest was born and haven't regretted it. Our entire family had COVID-19 at the beginning of the pandemic, which really put our mortality into perspective. (We all recovered, thankfully.)

Our income is set to increase dramatically over the next 19 years, but I doubt it will change our lifestyle that much. We used our 20s and 30s to get the spending bug out of our system. We prefer to live simply rather than extravagantly. We initially thought we would retire early. I doubt that will happen. We love what we do and have an excellent work-life balance.
VTI: 50%, QQQM: 30%, VO: 10%, VB: 10%
260chrisb
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by 260chrisb »

brian2013 wrote: Thu Nov 13, 2014 11:45 am I'm about a year away from turning 40. My thirties were pretty good to me - i started and stabilized my own business and witnessed the birth of my two beautiful kids, and now I find myself contemplating this "turning point" a little bit. I was just curious what the thoughtful, intelligent folks on this forum might have to teach me about it. Those of you who have already lived through their 40's, or who are in their 40's, what did this decade mean to you? Emotionally, financially, etc., I'm interested in whatever seems significant in your experiences. What did you learn, what do you wish you had done differently, or what do you wish you had known at 40? Did you have any "crisis" experiences? Let's hear it!
Does a reply make me thoughtful and intelligent?? Wow, nice...... :D So you're off to a good start. I never raised kids but they will consume your 40's so take advantage of the time. My best advice would be to not look back with regrets but instead focus and plan for the future financially, professionally, for your family, and for your health the best you can. From a savings standpoint as I got into my prime earning years beginning in my 40's I didn't want to look back with regrets in my 50's and wish I had been more responsible like I did in my 40's looking back to my 30's. With one more year of 50's to go I have no regrets looking back over the past 20 years. That said, do the right things and at the same time enjoy your 40's and don't panic over your future . Things will likely work out well.
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StevieG72
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by StevieG72 »

Lost decade, too much work not enough play.
Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.
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bligh
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by bligh »

Beach wrote: Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:34 pm ... I keep telling myself I want to be the "40 best shape of my life" type of guy but still putting it off.... just can't find the motivation to do anything differently.

Kids are 6 and 7 and my 30's have FLOWN by.
It's the kids. They do that to you. They have FAR FAR more energy than you do, and they hoover it all up. Between work and kids and a decrease in over all energy levels as you age, it all works together to make fitness an uphill battle.

I used to be super into fitness in my early 30s (I averaged 4 to 5, 1 hour work outs a week), and then as kids came along that dropped and I took breaks, gained weight, etc. I still workout but no where near as regularly. In my case I have noticed more frequent injuries and those injuries take MUCH longer to heal. Back, knees, shoulder, old sports injuries coming back to haunt me.. I cannot workout with the intensity I used to either. It's now lower weights, higher reps, lower heart rate, less intensity, easier on the joints, type stuff. SOOO much harder to lose weight too.
vested1
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by vested1 »

Got divorced (2nd) and wiped out financially at 39 from a marriage of 10 years that was pure torture. Got remarried at 40 and have remained so happily for 29 years so far.

My forties were tough, with alimony and child support for two kids even though they were with me/us 50% of the time. Kids were 6 and 9 at the time of the divorce, so child support continued for another 12 years, no tax deductions. My new(er) wife and I paid for all their needs as well (clothes and all extras). Luckily my current wife is not insane, which was a definite upgrade. She also has the patience of Job's wife, minus the pillar of salt, which may be a result of never looking back. She and our shared kids (two daughters of my own, one stepdaughter, 4 granddaughters, 1 great granddaughter, and 1 new great grandson in September) are my world.

My current wife and I couldn't afford to save significantly in our 40's but managed to buy a home anyway, my first at age 42. Pretty much treading water financially until my early 50's, even though we both worked blue collar jobs, her about 50 hours a week, me an average of 70 hours. When child support ended at my age 51 we got serious about saving because we could afford to (barely).

Now retired comfortably since 2016 at 69/68 in a week at our shared birthday. Sold our old house in 2019 in CA that we bought in 1994 for a 365% profit, moved to a LCOL state and bought a lake house for cash. Some people want to return to their 40's. Not me.

Moral of the story, it's never too late to be happy, or to save for retirement. Chin up, you can do it. Those who can afford to retire in their 50's had a better education, made fewer mistakes than I did, and live in an entirely different dimension. Good luck to all.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Icamp »

Something that I learned from my parents and grandparents helped me through my 40's. When you know your priorities, your decisions are easy. In your 40's you'll likely have to choose between family and work, hobbies or friends repeatedly. We sacrificed our own hobbies to attend every school and sporting event our children participated in. We own a small business and scheduled ourselves to go to out of town games and weekend tournaments every single time, sometimes with an opportunity cost. But we can live with those decisions because when we fast forward now, the tail end of my 40's we have three truly outstanding, independent children. We just sold our business for 7 figures and still have our goals and priorities set. So think about your priorities and decide accordingly.
lightheir
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by lightheir »

bligh wrote: Tue Jun 22, 2021 2:11 pm
Beach wrote: Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:34 pm ... I keep telling myself I want to be the "40 best shape of my life" type of guy but still putting it off.... just can't find the motivation to do anything differently.

Kids are 6 and 7 and my 30's have FLOWN by.
It's the kids. They do that to you. They have FAR FAR more energy than you do, and they hoover it all up. Between work and kids and a decrease in over all energy levels as you age, it all works together to make fitness an uphill battle.

I used to be super into fitness in my early 30s (I averaged 4 to 5, 1 hour work outs a week), and then as kids came along that dropped and I took breaks, gained weight, etc. I still workout but no where near as regularly. In my case I have noticed more frequent injuries and those injuries take MUCH longer to heal. Back, knees, shoulder, old sports injuries coming back to haunt me.. I cannot workout with the intensity I used to either. It's now lower weights, higher reps, lower heart rate, less intensity, easier on the joints, type stuff. SOOO much harder to lose weight too.
On the bright side, if your 6 year old is killing you in your 30s (most of them do, possibly ALL of them!), that likely means they are 10+ when you are in your mid-early 40s.

My kid changed dramatically from age 9 to 10. Went from a 'child' to a young semi-independent teenager, and went from super difficult and volatile to super calm, reasonable and self-motivated. When that happens (and it does to a large degree to most folks with young kids), you get a LOT of your life back.

I am 45 and am probably in the best shape of my life. (I average 13 hours of week training triathlon, which is admittedly, a lot.) Almost all of this is due to the reality that a lot of the time I spent managing the kid she does herself. I still manage to make most workouts 'invisible' to my family (early mornings and lunch weekdays, and early weekends), but even that's wayyyyy easier when you know you're not absolutely needed to help with a difficult child before school or early on weekends.

For me, a big joy of being mid-40s is being young enough to do nearly everything I did when I really was 'young' but having the experience and knowledge to really appreciate it.

As well, this year was the first year that I finally acknowledged that I in fact, do have some disposable income. I've been living the last 45 years penny-pinching as much as reasonable, so it's really strange to realize that I can buy those Oakley sunglasses for $200 and not even flinch, whereas in the past I'd never even consider that and just get the $5 ones. (To be fair I still haven't bought the Oakelys!)
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by lightheir »

bligh wrote: Tue Jun 22, 2021 2:11 pm
Beach wrote: Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:34 pm ... I keep telling myself I want to be the "40 best shape of my life" type of guy but still putting it off.... just can't find the motivation to do anything differently.

Kids are 6 and 7 and my 30's have FLOWN by.
It's the kids. They do that to you. They have FAR FAR more energy than you do, and they hoover it all up. Between work and kids and a decrease in over all energy levels as you age, it all works together to make fitness an uphill battle.

I used to be super into fitness in my early 30s (I averaged 4 to 5, 1 hour work outs a week), and then as kids came along that dropped and I took breaks, gained weight, etc. I still workout but no where near as regularly. In my case I have noticed more frequent injuries and those injuries take MUCH longer to heal. Back, knees, shoulder, old sports injuries coming back to haunt me.. I cannot workout with the intensity I used to either. It's now lower weights, higher reps, lower heart rate, less intensity, easier on the joints, type stuff. SOOO much harder to lose weight too.
On the bright side, if your 6 year old is killing you in your 30s (most of them do, possibly ALL of them!), that likely means they are 10+ when you are in your mid-early 40s.

My kid changed dramatically from age 9 to 10. Went from a 'child' to a young semi-independent teenager, and went from super difficult and volatile to super calm, reasonable and self-motivated. When that happens (and it does to a large degree to most folks with young kids), you get a LOT of your life back. My wife too got back into her major hobby and spends as much time as I do on mine.

I am 45 and am probably in the best shape of my life. (I average 13 hours of week training triathlon, which is admittedly, a lot.) Almost all of this is due to the reality that a lot of the time I spent managing the kid she does herself. I still manage to make most workouts 'invisible' to my family (early mornings and lunch weekdays, and early weekends), but even that's wayyyyy easier when you know you're not absolutely needed to help with a difficult child before school or early on weekends.

For me, a big joy of being mid-40s is being young enough to do nearly everything I did when I really was 'young' but having the experience and knowledge to really appreciate it.

As well, this year was the first year that I finally acknowledged that I in fact, do have some disposable income. I've been living the last 45 years penny-pinching as much as reasonable, so it's really strange to realize that I can buy those Oakley sunglasses for $200 and not even flinch, whereas in the past I'd never even consider that and just get the $5 ones. (To be fair I still haven't bought the Oakelys!)
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MrBobcat
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by MrBobcat »

Our 40s were a blur, but it was all good. I paid off all business debt and started putting more towards retirement. Much more importantly we started the decade with kids aged 17, 15 & 13 and ended it with an empty nest and 3 self supporting college graduates. Our 50s so far have been peaceful by comparison.
Lextalionis
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Lextalionis »

The early 40s were rough. I am 48 now and have a 5 year old and an 8 year old. When I think about graduating the youngest from high school at 61 it can be overwhelming, but the last two years have smoothed the curve. It feels like you just get comfortable in your own skin, find hobbies, enjoy the family. Work is just work, but your finances begin to take care of themselves. Time and energy become more of a worry than money and finances. There is a book about this phenomenon, "The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better After 50"

Here is a summary:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyl ... than-rauch
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Jack FFR1846 »

In my 40's, I started getting serious about motorsports. During that decade, more or less, I got good enough to capture lots of autocross titles and became and instructor. Ran a couple different cars for both autocross and then the track, eventually giving up autocross to do more track driving. Couple track records, built a racecar or three, became a track instructor. I did limit my time at the track for my wife's sake. Adopted our kids, so they were cute and young in my 40's (not teenage monsters that they all become). I'd take 6 hour mountain bike rides, having been a bicycle road racer in my teens and 20's. The career started really accelerating, giving me the biggest jumps in salary. I bought savings bonds with some of my extra cash that I didn't know what to do with otherwise. I had my first cardiac cath with 3 stents following chest pain while in Aruba, with a wife who's a nurse.

All fun stuff, I guess. It's ancient history now. I'm 64.
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MortgageOnBlack
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by MortgageOnBlack »

37 years old and getting closer to the big 4 0. I remember being 27 just yesterday and feeling like I would be that age forever. I can't help but laugh when I see twenty-somethings feeling the exact same way.

My 30's have been great to me. I can only hope 40's will be just as much.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Ron Ronnerson »

I’m only two-thirds of the way through my 40s but they’ve been my favorite years so far. My wife (who is the same age as me) and I worked full time throughout our 30s but, upon becoming parents at age 39, have eased back on the hours. I think focusing on time rather than money is among the best decisions we’ve made.

Here’s a summary of our 40s so far (the figures below are for June of each year). We live in the Bay Area.

Age 40: Our combined income was around $130k and net worth was $580k. Combined hours worked per week: 60 + a long commute for my wife

Age 41: My wife started working from home most of the time so her commute largely disappeared. Combined income was $140k and net worth was $700k. Combined hours worked per week: 60

Age 42: Work schedules stayed the same. Combined income was around $140k and net worth was $850k. Combined hours worked per week: 60

Age 43: My wife became a stay-at-home parent mid-year. Combined income was around $115k and net worth was $950k. Combined hours worked per week: 30, at a job I greatly enjoy (teacher)

Age 44: Same work schedule as the prior year. My income was around $110k and our net worth reached $1M. Combined hours worked per week: 30

Age 45: Our daughter was in transitional kindergarten when covid struck. My wife being a stay-at-home parent while the kiddo was doing distance learning from home was monumentally helpful. My income was around $110k and our net worth was $1.1M. Combined hours worked per week: 30 (at a job I didn’t really enjoy quite the same way anymore as I wished to be back in the classroom but at least there was no commuting)

Age 46: Our daughter did kindergarten from home and my wife being able to support her during distance learning was, again, monumental. My income was around $110k and our net worth went up to $1.6M due to appreciation of our retirement portfolio and Bay Area house. Combined hours worked: 30 (alas still from home)

My health is pretty much the same as it has always been (no problems whatsoever) except maybe I’m ready for bed a little earlier than I used to be. I think my work schedule has been good for my health as well as for our marriage. I have 180 days off per year and on the days that I do have to work, I’m home by 4 p.m. This leaves time to cook at home, get exercise, and spend time with family.

We really value family so have set up a compound of sorts. Both sets of parents live close by and my sister and her family are our next-door neighbors. So the kid gets to see all grandparents and cousins regularly.

We’ve taken multiple trips to Disneyland, Hawaii, and Las Vegas (to enjoy the pool at Mandalay Bay while also visiting family) during our 40s and the summers together with the whole family at home have been truly priceless. Time is more important than money, in my humble opinion, and that’s why I included those stats as well. I don’t tutor or teach summer school due to the emphasis on time in our lives but am really looking forward to teaching in person again in the fall even though I will have a bit of a commute again.

My wife thinks she might be retired now as we’re sort of ahead of where we really needed to be by this stage. Our retirement expenses should be fully covered by pension and social security. I’m planning to reduce my schedule to 18 hours per week once I’m 55 and retire somewhere between 59-61. We’ll see how all that pans out, though.
MP173
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by MP173 »

This is a great thread....glad it is back in action. I might have responded to this a couple of years ago...not sure and am not going to look thru the entire thread.

Current age is 65, birthday later this week. Thus, the 40s have passed me by. That decade was the transition decade for me in so many ways.

At age 35 I left a dead end job and entered a new career (sales). The first couple of years were a struggle but gradual improvement (income and satisfaction). By age 40 (1995) there was no doubt I was in the right career. I am still in the same career, same company now for 31 years.

At age 40 I was married with 2 sons. At age 45 I was a single parent, as my wife could not survive cancer. That was the defining moment of my life. As I told one of my sons this last year my biography is Volume 1 (to age 45) and Volume 2 (August 9th, 2000 to be exact). I honestly do not recall much of Volume 1. Fortunately I have daily dairies back to 1980, so I can always read about those days. Being a single parent to ages 14 and 5 (boys) was challenging at time, but very rewarding. It was all on me. Our parenting styles were different. I could now mold and influence them as I wanted. I learned to completely manage meals, get both to school, arrange summers, be relieved when school resumed!, plan and execute vacations, stay on top of health care issues (my rule was "dont get sick"....we didnt), go to church weekly, Cub Scouts, High School Basketball, Youth sports, try to date (I could write a book on that, or actually a short story), and actually grow my sales career. My boss was very understanding and it helped that I could drop off the boys, head out on sales calls, and be home in time for the youngest to get off of the bus at 330 and work at home. Damn I was lucky!

I also taught both of them how to face adversity, tighten the belt, and move forward. I had a ton of help from my wife's family and from friends. It takes a village to raise a child....confirmed!

Both sons (ages 35 and 26) are successful in their jobs ( too early to call their jobs "careers") and I am amazed when we talk business how advance they both are. Good education for both (second level public universities...not elite) and a lot of grit in both. They both excelled during the past 15 months of COVID.

Both had bumps in the road...and they dealt with those (legally) themselves. There are a few things that I could have done better as a parent, but there was no handbook written for my situation.

Oh, after years of middle life dating, I gave up and a few months later a stunning woman called asking me out on a date. That was 17 years ago and she later promoted me from boyfriend to husband. It took me 4 years before I was ready for her.

Lessons learned:
One should hit their stride with career (and earnings) in their 40's.
Raising children is a lot of work. Not being involved in their lives might result in a lot of work later on. Invest heavily in your children, emotionally and with your time.
Further, have an open door policy for their friends...it is much better to know where your kids are and who they are with than not. I cooked a lot of extra food and had to clean up a bit more but it was worth it.
Have a plan financially. View your retirement as a long term goal and plan accordingly. It sneaks up pretty quickly.
Further, review your life and disability insurance for both you and your spouse.
Compile a team - attorney, tax accountant, financial planner, spiritual leader (minister for me), and friends.
Invest in your own health and fitness. While my weight gradually increased over the decade, my workouts were serious...I just ate too much. Today I am in the best condition in my adult life since mid 20s. Lesson learned is that it is so much maintain your health and fitness rather than make a drastic change.

Finally...have a plan, but write it in pencil. Things might change.

Long winded...but this allowed me to reflect on those 10 years.

Ed
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Starfish »

double post
Last edited by Starfish on Tue Jun 22, 2021 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Ron Ronnerson »

MP173 wrote: Tue Jun 22, 2021 5:21 pm
Long winded...but this allowed me to reflect on those 10 years.

Ed
Totally worth reading and the details you included were important. Thanks for taking the time to share them.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Starfish »

I did not have any bad decade in my life but I had some very good ones (15-30 mostly, I was lucky not to grow up in the US) which made my thirties look pretty depressing by comparison.
Based on that I expected to be worse in my 40s but until now (just passed the middle point) it has been pretty good. Having a kid and was a great experience, I thought my health will be donwhill but did not degrade much, I thought with work and a kid my life is over but actually I did a lot of traveling (for my standards), skiing, biking, hiking etc, I have more money than ever and I am at the point of lean FI, marriage is still happy etc. The only clear downsides are the vision issues (I wore glasses continuously since I was 2, but I could see perfectly without them, not anymore) and the fact that I cannot drink too much.
I still go to bed at 1-2am but I cannot work after 7-8pm, but I also don't want or worry anymore. Actually because I do not worry my work related stress improved by a lot although my responsibilities increased a lot too. I care about building a good product, about solving problems, about innovation so on, but I do not care about politics and ridiculous deadlines and pressure from above. One reason for that in becoming, at lest in principle, FI.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by whodidntante »

theplayer11 wrote: Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:42 pm most important thing you can do is take care of your body. Eat healthy and exercise. Way too many overweight people who will not have quality years ahead of them because of health issues.
I have done that and a few other interventions. Very glad I did. I'm pretty sure I am supposed to feel worn at this age, but life is good.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by squirm »

One thing to learn in your 40's is don't get all giddy if your net worth increases substantially, that can change dramatically either quickly or slowly over time.
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arthurdawg
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by arthurdawg »

Ron Ronnerson wrote: Tue Jun 22, 2021 5:42 pm
MP173 wrote: Tue Jun 22, 2021 5:21 pm
Long winded...but this allowed me to reflect on those 10 years.

Ed
Totally worth reading and the details you included were important. Thanks for taking the time to share them.
Yes! It sounds like you did very well. Losing a spouse is very tough indeed.

This is a great thread! I am 47 and life has tried to throw me for a loop in the past three years. I spend most of my 20s and early 30s in med school and residency and only with hindsight do you realize how much time disappears during those years. Then add four kids to the mix and it was even busier in my 30s and early 40s. I don't regret the time with the kids, I always tried to coach and be at every game and activity as best I could.

I'm seeing this often in my peer group here but was stunned when my wife of 20 years (we dated for 5 years... so 25 years together) almost out of the blue demanded a divorce. Now... I realize that this was a blessing. There are some psychiatric issues across that divide and my earlier relationship with the kids has really paid off in terms of my ability to help them through this since their mother is cold and difficult. I've had a dozen friends approach me in the last couple of years who are also on the rocks, I think it is a hard time when your kids are almost grown and you've changed so much over the 20-30 years since you met the other half and just grown apart. You can only paper over the cracks so long.

Physically... I feel great. I need to get engaged again, but have been doing cross fit and took up mountain biking, and could be in the best shape of my life if I were just a bit more consistent. I think moving and taking care of yourself is very important. You can't stop aging, and some of us will develop severe medical issues, but with work, the majority of people can be physically fit and capable well into their 70s.

I also met another lady who is a widower and we have hit it off! It is a beautiful, open, honest relationship. Looking to get married in the Fall and I feel it will provide many years of companionship and love. She is also in her 40s, no kids, and a widower, so we just don't have most of the issues that can become so contentious when getting married at a younger age. Plus... we are both obnoxious fans of the same football team.

In many ways... I view 47-50 as the transition to the last great third of life... before 25 it was about me and school... 25-50 is mostly raising kids and working my butt off (we've made some good changes in our medical practice and life has improved immensely in the last two years!) and then hopefully the last active 25 years will allow me to finish some of what I'd like to do with my life. After 75... hopefully, there will be some good bonus years... not to say you can't remain hale and hearty till you are 100... I'll take what comes.
Last edited by arthurdawg on Wed Jun 23, 2021 5:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by nguy44 »

I am 63. my 40s were from 1998-2007.

The action most relevant to this Boglehead community was that I started becoming a Boglehead in 1998. Before then I thought I was smarter than the market and could make brilliant stock picks. Of course, during the dot-com boom, you could throw darts at a list of stock symbols on the wall and think you could do better than the market :happy. I realized I was making things too complicated and, after reading up on Vanguard and Jack Bogle, got out of most of my individual stocks , put that money into VFINX (transitioning to VFIAX when it got large enough). It became the major taxable fund I dollar cost averaged into since then.

In my early 40s my corporation drastically changed retirement pension and health insurance. It was a "wake up" call that I needed to take responsibility for any retirement future I hoped to have. Before this I was not maxing out 401k contributions, so I started to do that. My wife and I also began taking a more aggressive LBYM approach. We cut our spending back and started paying off credit cards every month, stopped being inefficient with family food shopping, stopped looking at what others had and focused on our own needs, etc.

These began our peak earning years. six of the eight years our household salary income exceeded $200K was during these years. I received promotions that made me eligible to receive stock options, 80% of which worked out very well. Of course, these were also the years that our two oldest were in college, and at expensive colleges, so we were hammered on those costs. In retrospect, this was our biggest mistake. We should have done a better job understanding which colleges would be the best fit for our kids and not be dazzled by or try to impress others with them getting into schools rated in the top 25 in the U.S. One did graduate, but changed to a major they would have been much better off going to a state university, and probably would have done better socially. The other famed out after 2 years and we essentially wasted over $100K on that lesson (fortunately, after a few years of "wandering in the wilderness", this one returned and got a degree at 32, and is now doing well). However, even with the college bills we still managed to do after tax saving and investing.

Our marriage was fine during these years (it still is); in our 30s we dealt with cracks in it that could had lead to divorce, so we continued to focus on improving our marriage (and still do).

In my late thirties I started regular annual physical exams; things were detected and addressed that would have left me in worse health, or dead, at this time.

Father-in-law died during these years, which greatly impacted my wife, who was a true "Daddy's girl". There was a lot of family drama on her side that we had to deal with after his death. We also had to help our children deal with the untimely loss of several of their friends, the worse being a close friend of our youngest son who was murdered in a family murder-suicide.

So... those were the "highlights" of my 40s. While we were not frivolous before then, we really starting focusing more on our long term finances. Even though the market did not do much during that time, it laid the foundation for the great growth since March 2009. Doing this allowed me to retire at 60, and allow my wife to choose when to retire, which she did this year.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by sid hartha »

I'm only part way through it but so far it's been the best of times and the worst of times. YMMV.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Slacker »

The 40s have been my best decade yet.

Reading through a few of the responses, I feel very fortunate to be a little more than half way through my 40s without any gray hair, no problem reading (no glasses needed), no health problems (I'm even stronger in the gym than my peak in my 30s before I had some injuries), and like others I'm earning more and accumulating more than ever before.

Kids are finally off to college and we are all set to retire early in 12-24 months.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by kuttolas »

frugalprof wrote: Fri Nov 14, 2014 12:01 pm I'm 47 and the father of three, ages 8, 6, and 4. My two boys love to wrestle with me when I come home (at the same time of course). How I wish I were still in my late twenties and early thirties! Still, life is very good. We have our finances in place. My wife is eight years younger, so she has more energy than I do.
I am your age too, but my son is 15 and still wants to wrestle. I realized I was getting old when wrestling with him started to hurt :)
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by fishmonger »

As I stated earlier, 39 here, will turn 40 in January. One common theme here is posters saying they find it harder to exercise/workout with young kids, etc.

I have two kids, ages 10 and 11 (so I was 27 when the first one came along). I struggled with this as well for the first 5 years or so - it's just a lot, especially with two 15 months apart. An absolute game changer for me was getting up early to exercise first thing in the morning. I am somewhat of a morning person naturally, but even if you aren't the adjustment of getting up and going should only take a couple of weeks - then it just becomes routine.

I've been waking up around 5am for about 5 years now. Suck down a quick protein shake, and get after it. At first, your energy level is not ideal but it's 100% better than not working out at all. There's way too many activities/excuses later in the day - work commitments, sports practices, etc. Plus when I get home after a long day, there is NOTHING else I'd rather do than spend time and catch up with my family
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Maverick3320 »

Slacker wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 9:13 am The 40s have been my best decade yet.

Reading through a few of the responses, I feel very fortunate to be a little more than half way through my 40s without any gray hair, no problem reading (no glasses needed), no health problems (I'm even stronger in the gym than my peak in my 30s before I had some injuries), and like others I'm earning more and accumulating more than ever before.

Kids are finally off to college and we are all set to retire early in 12-24 months.
No gray hair yet? Now that's impressive!
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Maverick3320 »

Flashes1 wrote: Tue Jun 22, 2021 1:18 pm 40's: is when you realize that you're never going to be the CEO at your company and that can be humbling. You begin to hear that a friend or two, or their friends, start dying and that can be humbling. You begin to pay for the sins of your youth. Whether that's a sore shoulder from football or a sore knuckle from a broken hand suffered in a college bar fight.
Regarding the CEO part: isn't it also a bit liberating though, as well? I've come to the same realization and I'm becoming more comfortable with it each day. In my organization (and many other organizations, it would seem) the "execs" are basically politicians - shaking hands, kissing babies, and giving the same speech over and over while everyone in the crowd just wants to get on with their day - which I have absolutely no interest in, even for the paycheck.

I don't hear about many people my age dying yet, thankfully, but I do hear and see others that are only 20-30 years older passing away, and it makes me appreciate life that much more. At 40 I realize that my life is pretty close to half over, and it's sobering. This is also why I want to spend more time with my parents now while we can still enjoy activities together. It's weird as a kid; you never look at your parents as peers, and you only really get to see one side of them; being "friends" with a parent is one of life's pleasures, at least to me.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Sam_957 »

staythecourse wrote: Fri Nov 14, 2014 10:02 am
Just curious from those who have gone through it how do you get the energy to run after your kids? Mine is 2 yrs. old and every year she gets more active and I feel less active. I think this will be my biggest social challenge in trying to keep up with the kid and likely another in the future.
I started out at age 35 with kettlebell and some light CrossFit and then discovered a barbell program called starting strength. I did that for a couple years until I started mountain biking. Now just doing that and kettlebell again, but gains from the barbell training didn’t disappear. Back pain went away and stamina for all sorts of tasks is way up. Feeling old and weak when I had a 2 year old at 35 prompted it.

Sorry, just realized I quoted a very old reply :)
My other vehicle is an index fund.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by canadianbacon »

I was glad to see this thread and read through every post. I think you guys are saying I need to get in better shape :-D.

I am 43, and coincidentally only realized last week I probably need a "reading correction", so that was also funny to see repeated here.

I took a package earlier this year and haven't been working. I was in high tech and I have very little need or motivation to work again in the space. Some of this is surely burnout recovery, but I would like any further working time to be spent on something that I actually think makes the world better. Maybe it's a midlife crisis without the sports car :).

I'm not sure I have any sage wisdom for anyone younger who might be reading this, but Jack Ma of Alibaba has said that your 30s are the time to take chances and your 40s are the time to do what you're good at, so I'll just repeat that as a thinking point if nothing else.
Bulls make money, bears make money, pigs get slaughtered.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Wannaretireearly »

canadianbacon wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 2:50 pm I was glad to see this thread and read through every post. I think you guys are saying I need to get in better shape :-D.

I am 43, and coincidentally only realized last week I probably need a "reading correction", so that was also funny to see repeated here.

I took a package earlier this year and haven't been working. I was in high tech and I have very little need or motivation to work again in the space. Some of this is surely burnout recovery, but I would like any further working time to be spent on something that I actually think makes the world better. Maybe it's a midlife crisis without the sports car :).

I'm not sure I have any sage wisdom for anyone younger who might be reading this, but Jack Ma of Alibaba has said that your 30s are the time to take chances and your 40s are the time to do what you're good at, so I'll just repeat that as a thinking point if nothing else.
Well said! I'm in a similar spot and age. Keep us updated if you find a fun job, or just chillax. I'll live vicariously thru you for a few more years 😀. Wifey just told me I can't take a 'fun' job for another 5 years. Which is when I told her she can get her fun job 😏.
“At some point you are trading time you will never get back for money you will never spend.“ | “How do you want to spend the best remaining year of your life?“
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by nguy44 »

Maverick3320 wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 9:53 am
Slacker wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 9:13 am The 40s have been my best decade yet.

Reading through a few of the responses, I feel very fortunate to be a little more than half way through my 40s without any gray hair, no problem reading (no glasses needed), no health problems (I'm even stronger in the gym than my peak in my 30s before I had some injuries), and like others I'm earning more and accumulating more than ever before.

Kids are finally off to college and we are all set to retire early in 12-24 months.
No gray hair yet? Now that's impressive!
I made it through my 40's with no gray hair... But then my 50's hit... now at 63 I am 70-80% gray on my head and mustache, and fully gray in my beard. But I still have a full head of hair :happy.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by sman09 »

placeholder wrote: Fri Nov 14, 2014 12:40 pm In my early 40s I completed a college degree and started a new profession as a software engineer then bought a house so maybe 40s are the new 20s.
:sharebeer That is amazing! Congratulations on landing a new position in Software in your early 40s and hats off for the hard work and sacrifices that would have gone in to accomplishing it.

Would you mind sharing information about what that journey was like and perhaps some tips for others who would like to take a similar path on to better careers - either in this thread or as a new post/thread where others too could add their's.

Thank you!
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by midareff »

My 40's were a unique part of my life. In my early 40's I drank way too much Vodka, was out way too much and dated and slept with way too many ladies. At this point in my investing life I was putting as much as I could into deferred compensation (401 B) while paying temporary alimony and child support. In my middle 40's I remarried to a woman who was a skilled actress (yup, some Broadway and lots of local theater) and had no idea what a marriage was about which started the next day after the ceremony. Since we were sharing many living expenses I was able to max out my deferred compensation savings. Since the only song she could sing was Me, Me, Me, Me .... it ended about 3 years later and through a series of promotions and COLAs I was able to maintain maximum deferred compensation after the split.

In the later part of my 40's, still banging away at maximum deferred compensation I started another relationship that lasted about 7 years. I was able to travel some, taking her as a date internationally, while maintaining a high savings rate and adding to my taxable account and a bit to Roth. That relationship ended and another much less serious one started while I increased my savings rate through a double up provision. To continue to maintain this I was very frugal with matters outside the relationship and fortunately had paid off my car prior to the start of the three years of double up.

I never let up on maximum deferred compensation, savings to taxable and adding what I could to my Roth......

That takes me to my 50's.. you will have to ask a different question to know what happened there.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Sandtrap »

midareff wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 7:10 pm My 40's were a unique part of my life. In my early 40's I drank way too much Vodka, was out way too much and dated and slept with way too many ladies. At this point in my investing life I was putting as much as I could into deferred compensation (401 B) while paying temporary alimony and child support. In my middle 40's I remarried to a woman who was a skilled actress (yup, some Broadway and lots of local theater) and had no idea what a marriage was about which started the next day after the ceremony. Since we were sharing many living expenses I was able to max out my deferred compensation savings. Since the only song she could sing was Me, Me, Me, Me .... it ended about 3 years later and through a series of promotions and COLAs I was able to maintain maximum deferred compensation after the split.

In the later part of my 40's, still banging away at maximum deferred compensation I started another relationship that lasted about 7 years. I was able to travel some, taking her as a date internationally, while maintaining a high savings rate and adding to my taxable account and a bit to Roth. That relationship ended and another much less serious one started while I increased my savings rate through a double up provision. To continue to maintain this I was very frugal with matters outside the relationship and fortunately had paid off my car prior to the start of the three years of double up.

I never let up on maximum deferred compensation, savings to taxable and adding what I could to my Roth......

That takes me to my 50's.. you will have to ask a different question to know what happened there.
Financial question per forum rules:

Did you or have you considered SPIAs or deferred annuities in this interesting journey.

What is projected over the next 10-20 years?
Annuitization?
Other changes?

Inquiring minds want to know.
j🌺
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Wannaretireearly »

midareff wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 7:10 pm My 40's were a unique part of my life. In my early 40's I drank way too much Vodka, was out way too much and dated and slept with way too many ladies. At this point in my investing life I was putting as much as I could into deferred compensation (401 B) while paying temporary alimony and child support. In my middle 40's I remarried to a woman who was a skilled actress (yup, some Broadway and lots of local theater) and had no idea what a marriage was about which started the next day after the ceremony. Since we were sharing many living expenses I was able to max out my deferred compensation savings. Since the only song she could sing was Me, Me, Me, Me .... it ended about 3 years later and through a series of promotions and COLAs I was able to maintain maximum deferred compensation after the split.

In the later part of my 40's, still banging away at maximum deferred compensation I started another relationship that lasted about 7 years. I was able to travel some, taking her as a date internationally, while maintaining a high savings rate and adding to my taxable account and a bit to Roth. That relationship ended and another much less serious one started while I increased my savings rate through a double up provision. To continue to maintain this I was very frugal with matters outside the relationship and fortunately had paid off my car prior to the start of the three years of double up.

I never let up on maximum deferred compensation, savings to taxable and adding what I could to my Roth......

That takes me to my 50's.. you will have to ask a different question to know what happened there.
50's the decade of Gin?
“At some point you are trading time you will never get back for money you will never spend.“ | “How do you want to spend the best remaining year of your life?“
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Slacker »

kuttolas wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 9:25 am
frugalprof wrote: Fri Nov 14, 2014 12:01 pm I'm 47 and the father of three, ages 8, 6, and 4. My two boys love to wrestle with me when I come home (at the same time of course). How I wish I were still in my late twenties and early thirties! Still, life is very good. We have our finances in place. My wife is eight years younger, so she has more energy than I do.
I am your age too, but my son is 15 and still wants to wrestle. I realized I was getting old when wrestling with him started to hurt :)
I train my 18 yr old son in martial arts, quite a bit of grappling too. Can't let him get the better of me just yet. He still hopes to best the old man one day, maybe when I'm 50.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by ROIGuy »

My 20's were a complete waste of time(just have to look at my income numbers on the SS site). My 30's weren't that much better, though I started to get my act together. In my 40's life changed. I got married, my DW really help straighten me out. I started tracking our yearly savings, 401k and overall savings a couple years after we got married. When we got married we had about $20,000 in credit card debit. We eventually cleared that up and really started focusing on our savings.
So many missed opportunities, like not maxing out the DW 401k and all the matching that was available. Always trying to hit a home run with stock picks instead of just basic low cost index funds. Were doing ok now, trying to get to retirement. Would love to go back to age 40 and just get the basics right. Time is truly the greatest wealth building mechanism out there,
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by midareff »

Sandtrap wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 8:04 pm
midareff wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 7:10 pm

That takes me to my 50's.. you will have to ask a different question to know what happened there.
Financial question per forum rules:

Did you or have you considered SPIAs or deferred annuities in this interesting journey.

Never.... no need.

What is projected over the next 10-20 years?

No idea... my crystal ball is as cloudy as yours.


Annuitization?


No need.


Other changes? Yeah, got lots older since my 40's.

Inquiring minds want to know.
j🌺
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by alfredwallace »

I'm 52 now.

Before I turned 40, I expected my physical health to take a downturn at 40. I was pleasantly surprised until somewhere around 47 or 48. That's when the warranty on my body clearly expired and happened quickly. The collagen left my body and all my cartilage, ligaments, and tendons I relied on without a second thought, turned to old crusty rubber bands. I had done weight training since age 14 and it kept me in shape. What they don't tell you is that your cartilage, ligaments, and tendons record the mileage. All the deep squats, bench presses, shoulder presses and everything else you do is etched into the connective tissue between your bones and will remind you later by disappearing. By your late 40s, you start waking up with creaking knees or ankles, or hips, or back or shoulders. You walk funny for the first 10 minutes getting out of bed in the morning. You are never sure which body part will betray you but it will be something and it will happen unexpectedly. Every time you exercise, you aren't quite sure if you'll come out of it okay. It's like wondering if you'll reach your destination when driving a 20 year old car with 350K miles on it. Prior to 40 you got used to the idea of recovering from a health problem or "getting over it" or "getting better". By 50 I realized that health conditions were things that you acquired and learned to live with and that you would only acquire more if you were lucky enough to continue to stay on the planet. They were no longer things that you "got over". Odd random shooting pains or weird occasional burning sensations just cropped up. Stuff doesn't work sometimes and you have no idea why and then you start sympathizing much more with older Americans realizing that they have gone through the same except are further down that road. I pretended I didn't need reading glasses but every monitor I read from had the google zoom set to 125% or higher. It happened quick. I could read fine at 48. I couldn't at 50. During my 40's some of my classmates and friends started dying from cancer or a heart attack or something else. My uncles, aunts, and parents have chronic debilitating conditions. My own mortality is no longer an abstraction but something that now affects how I spend the day.

My relationship with money changed in my 40s. I realized that time was far more valuable than money. Life becomes more about retaining good current relationships rather than trying to live in the future or make as much money as possible. I started caring far less about buying stuff and viewed most purchases as burdens that I would have to get rid of someday. I started caring less about career advancement and started caring more about the people I worked with. A "wasted" day became one without joy rather than lost productivity.

I started enjoying spending time with my kids every night and weekend and in the summers too in ways I hadn't when they were younger. I learned to talk to them like real people now and I suspect that they might be realizing that I'm a real person too, not just their dad. They are teenagers but they have their own opinions on religion and politics and money and everything else. They have their own likes and dislikes and rationale for what they believe in and I enjoy knowing them and learning from them. I enjoy having wine on our shaded deck and talking to my wife on a cool summer evening about everything. I finally understand what living in the moment means and squeezing out peaceful time every day when I'm not thinking about what I have to do tomorrow or how I'll pay for nursing home care.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by midareff »

Wannaretireearly wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 8:58 pm
midareff wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 7:10 pm My 40's were a unique part of my life. In my early 40's I drank way too much Vodka, was out way too much and dated and slept with way too many ladies. At this point in my investing life I was putting as much as I could into deferred compensation (401 B) while paying temporary alimony and child support. In my middle 40's I remarried to a woman who was a skilled actress (yup, some Broadway and lots of local theater) and had no idea what a marriage was about which started the next day after the ceremony. Since we were sharing many living expenses I was able to max out my deferred compensation savings. Since the only song she could sing was Me, Me, Me, Me .... it ended about 3 years later and through a series of promotions and COLAs I was able to maintain maximum deferred compensation after the split.

In the later part of my 40's, still banging away at maximum deferred compensation I started another relationship that lasted about 7 years. I was able to travel some, taking her as a date internationally, while maintaining a high savings rate and adding to my taxable account and a bit to Roth. That relationship ended and another much less serious one started while I increased my savings rate through a double up provision. To continue to maintain this I was very frugal with matters outside the relationship and fortunately had paid off my car prior to the start of the three years of double up.

I never let up on maximum deferred compensation, savings to taxable and adding what I could to my Roth......

That takes me to my 50's.. you will have to ask a different question to know what happened there.
50's the decade of Gin?
LOL, nah... Boysenberry, a key Gin ingredient, is the most poisonous form of alcohol as I recall. Stayed with Vodka awhile and started to migrate to Single Malts.. mostly 12 year old and older.... Speyside Scotland area. Became a Certified Whiskey Taster (for real) on one trip through that area of Scotland and have enjoyed their adult beverages since with an occasional Jameson 18 as well.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by stoptothink »

Slacker wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 10:30 pm
kuttolas wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 9:25 am
frugalprof wrote: Fri Nov 14, 2014 12:01 pm I'm 47 and the father of three, ages 8, 6, and 4. My two boys love to wrestle with me when I come home (at the same time of course). How I wish I were still in my late twenties and early thirties! Still, life is very good. We have our finances in place. My wife is eight years younger, so she has more energy than I do.
I am your age too, but my son is 15 and still wants to wrestle. I realized I was getting old when wrestling with him started to hurt :)
I train my 18 yr old son in martial arts, quite a bit of grappling too. Can't let him get the better of me just yet. He still hopes to best the old man one day, maybe when I'm 50.
I just turned 40, my wife (35), daughter (9), and son (6) all compete in BJJ and muy thai. In fact my wife and son won the NAGA state championship this year and my daughter placed second. I'm a former college football player and competitive powerlifter, come back to me when your pre-adolescent daughter can beat you up. I've been recovering from a broken back for the last ~16 months (talk about aging, I legitimately don't even know how I broke it), so haven't had the opportunity to train with them.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Wannaretireearly »

midareff wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:37 am
Wannaretireearly wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 8:58 pm
midareff wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 7:10 pm That takes me to my 50's.. you will have to ask a different question to know what happened there.
50's the decade of Gin?
LOL, nah... Boysenberry, a key Gin ingredient, is the most poisonous form of alcohol as I recall. Stayed with Vodka awhile and started to migrate to Single Malts.. mostly 12 year old and older.... Speyside Scotland area. Became a Certified Whiskey Taster (for real) on one trip through that area of Scotland and have enjoyed their adult beverages since with an occasional Jameson 18 as well.
Haha. Never knew that about Gin. Will have to investigate. Wow! certified whiskey taster. That is awesome. So many things to aspire to 😉
Take care & thanks for your responses. Cheers.
“At some point you are trading time you will never get back for money you will never spend.“ | “How do you want to spend the best remaining year of your life?“
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Wannaretireearly »

alfredwallace wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:34 am I'm 52 now.

Before I turned 40, I expected my physical health to take a downturn at 40. I was pleasantly surprised until somewhere around 47 or 48. That's when the warranty on my body clearly expired and happened quickly. The collagen left my body and all my cartilage, ligaments, and tendons I relied on without a second thought, turned to old crusty rubber bands. I had done weight training since age 14 and it kept me in shape. What they don't tell you is that your cartilage, ligaments, and tendons record the mileage. All the deep squats, bench presses, shoulder presses and everything else you do is etched into the connective tissue between your bones and will remind you later by disappearing. By your late 40s, you start waking up with creaking knees or ankles, or hips, or back or shoulders. You walk funny for the first 10 minutes getting out of bed in the morning. You are never sure which body part will betray you but it will be something and it will happen unexpectedly. Every time you exercise, you aren't quite sure if you'll come out of it okay. It's like wondering if you'll reach your destination when driving a 20 year old car with 350K miles on it. Prior to 40 you got used to the idea of recovering from a health problem or "getting over it" or "getting better". By 50 I realized that health conditions were things that you acquired and learned to live with and that you would only acquire more if you were lucky enough to continue to stay on the planet. They were no longer things that you "got over". Odd random shooting pains or weird occasional burning sensations just cropped up. Stuff doesn't work sometimes and you have no idea why and then you start sympathizing much more with older Americans realizing that they have gone through the same except are further down that road. I pretended I didn't need reading glasses but every monitor I read from had the google zoom set to 125% or higher. It happened quick. I could read fine at 48. I couldn't at 50. During my 40's some of my classmates and friends started dying from cancer or a heart attack or something else. My uncles, aunts, and parents have chronic debilitating conditions. My own mortality is no longer an abstraction but something that now affects how I spend the day.

My relationship with money changed in my 40s. I realized that time was far more valuable than money. Life becomes more about retaining good current relationships rather than trying to live in the future or make as much money as possible. I started caring far less about buying stuff and viewed most purchases as burdens that I would have to get rid of someday. I started caring less about career advancement and started caring more about the people I worked with. A "wasted" day became one without joy rather than lost productivity.

I started enjoying spending time with my kids every night and weekend and in the summers too in ways I hadn't when they were younger. I learned to talk to them like real people now and I suspect that they might be realizing that I'm a real person too, not just their dad. They are teenagers but they have their own opinions on religion and politics and money and everything else. They have their own likes and dislikes and rationale for what they believe in and I enjoy knowing them and learning from them. I enjoy having wine on our shaded deck and talking to my wife on a cool summer evening about everything. I finally understand what living in the moment means and squeezing out peaceful time every day when I'm not thinking about what I have to do tomorrow or how I'll pay for nursing home care.
This is really detailed. Nice job.
What's your takeaway on the exercise impacts you mention? Are there certain exercises to be more careful of? Appreciate you being so candid. Thanks!
“At some point you are trading time you will never get back for money you will never spend.“ | “How do you want to spend the best remaining year of your life?“
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by alfredwallace »

Wannaretireearly wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 9:36 am
alfredwallace wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:34 am I'm 52 now.

Before I turned 40, I expected my physical health to take a downturn at 40. I was pleasantly surprised until somewhere around 47 or 48. That's when the warranty on my body clearly expired and happened quickly. The collagen left my body and all my cartilage, ligaments, and tendons I relied on without a second thought, turned to old crusty rubber bands. I had done weight training since age 14 and it kept me in shape. What they don't tell you is that your cartilage, ligaments, and tendons record the mileage. All the deep squats, bench presses, shoulder presses and everything else you do is etched into the connective tissue between your bones and will remind you later by disappearing. By your late 40s, you start waking up with creaking knees or ankles, or hips, or back or shoulders. You walk funny for the first 10 minutes getting out of bed in the morning. You are never sure which body part will betray you but it will be something and it will happen unexpectedly. Every time you exercise, you aren't quite sure if you'll come out of it okay. It's like wondering if you'll reach your destination when driving a 20 year old car with 350K miles on it. Prior to 40 you got used to the idea of recovering from a health problem or "getting over it" or "getting better". By 50 I realized that health conditions were things that you acquired and learned to live with and that you would only acquire more if you were lucky enough to continue to stay on the planet. They were no longer things that you "got over". Odd random shooting pains or weird occasional burning sensations just cropped up. Stuff doesn't work sometimes and you have no idea why and then you start sympathizing much more with older Americans realizing that they have gone through the same except are further down that road. I pretended I didn't need reading glasses but every monitor I read from had the google zoom set to 125% or higher. It happened quick. I could read fine at 48. I couldn't at 50. During my 40's some of my classmates and friends started dying from cancer or a heart attack or something else. My uncles, aunts, and parents have chronic debilitating conditions. My own mortality is no longer an abstraction but something that now affects how I spend the day.
This is really detailed. Nice job.
What's your takeaway on the exercise impacts you mention? Are there certain exercises to be more careful of? Appreciate you being so candid. Thanks!
Based on my experiences, heavy weights are a bad idea in your late 40s. What worked 10 years earlier won't work without injury (or reinjury if you injured a body part when you were 25). For example, I used to do sets of 10-12 tricep dips with 150 lbs of weights dangling from a weight belt. Don't do that when you are 40+ and don't do it when you are 20. You'll blow out your shoulder(s). The auricular cartilage in the acetabulum of your pelvis will get worn away with deep squats even with good form. It can lead to premature hip problems or pinched nerves (e.g. meralgia paresthetica etc) as the ligaments or bone that those nerves pass through are no longer in alignment. The bone density stays great with age and can even improve but the elastin and collagen of what holds those bones in place doesn't. Stretch before and stretch after a workout and between sets. Stretch from multiple angles. Hold those positions our you'll be in trouble. I use mostly body weight exercises now or use higher sets of controlled deliberate movement. Give yourself two days break between workout of the same muscle group if your body says you need it. Listen to it. It speaks a different language in your later 40s than your 20s. One day off works when you are 20, not when you are 50+. Your mileage may vary, but that's what works for me without causing injuries.
jaj2276
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by jaj2276 »

jaj2276 wrote: Wed Jun 13, 2018 6:52 pm I love this thread. I have a strange feeling of melancholy while reading it though.

Enjoyed my 20s and 30s. I'm 42 and just had our 2nd and final kid (other kid is 2.5). I had no problems "turning" 40. Financially the family is in great shape. I am in the same shape I've been in for most of my life (not excellent, not poor, but good).

However due to the responsibilities that *I've* chosen to take on (and when I've chosen to take them on), I see my 40s as cementing my lot in life and not feeling at all comfortable with that lot. It's a good lot but I'm not sure I feel comfortable being confined to one lot.

I struggle with thinking that at 42 I still have over half my life to live but not a lot of leeway in how it's going to go.

I hope my 40s turn out better than I think they're going to turn out.
Revisiting.

Financially I'm better than where I thought we'd be although that was never the issue.

I think I've managed to accept/survive the feeling of being confined to this one path. Unfortunately the feeling that's taken the place of that one is simply wanting to get to the end to find out how it all ends. Almost as if I don't care how I get there, I just want to be there. Weird.
financiallycurious
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by financiallycurious »

Also love this thread. Not 40 yet but it is approaching soon and I’m thinking often about my goals for the next decade and how to accomplish them.

My finances going into the next decade are in good shape and basically on autopilot. Retirement savings are solid and even if I stopped funding at age 40, with twenty years of conservative growth, I’ll be okay. My career is also on autopilot in the sense that I’ve done well and have great clients, a good salary and a good practice with plenty of flexibility, but in order to prioritize family life, I’ve left certain career advances on the table, which is fine. I bought some commercial real estate in my twenties, did a few 1031 exchanges and now have some nice income producing property that is my security net in case anything goes wrong (marriage or job loss). College savings for kids is on track/ahead of schedule. Still manage to exercise 5 days a week, but it does takeaway some time with kids, which I have mixed feelings about. If anything, it feels like life is mostly on autopilot, and everything will turn out more than fine if I don’t screw anything up! In my 40s, I hope to (1) work less (1500 billable hours to 1000); (2) spend more time with kids, especially my youngest, as my favorite age to parent is probably from ages 3-9, when they can communicate and are potty trained, but not too “cool” to hang out with mom; (3) finish funding my kids 529 plans; (4) fulfill some travel bucket list items; and (5) stay healthy and fit. My biggest challenge going into my 40s is that my spouse and I have some conflicting priorities (he has older adult kids from a first marriage that are a source of conflict, mostly due to how they affect our finances and division of parenting responsibilities of our young children, and he’s a bigger spender than I am, but also has a bigger income), so we’ve had to separate things a bit, which is probably okay, but is the biggest “red flag” for me right now in terms of a foreseeable challenge in my 40s. Hope to report back in 10 years that everything turned out just fine!
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midareff
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by midareff »

Wannaretireearly wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 9:34 am
midareff wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:37 am
Wannaretireearly wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 8:58 pm
midareff wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 7:10 pm That takes me to my 50's.. you will have to ask a different question to know what happened there.
50's the decade of Gin?
LOL, nah... Boysenberry, a key Gin ingredient, is the most poisonous form of alcohol as I recall. Stayed with Vodka awhile and started to migrate to Single Malts.. mostly 12 year old and older.... Speyside Scotland area. Became a Certified Whiskey Taster (for real) on one trip through that area of Scotland and have enjoyed their adult beverages since with an occasional Jameson 18 as well.
Haha. Never knew that about Gin. Will have to investigate. Wow! certified whiskey taster. That is awesome. So many things to aspire to 😉
Take care & thanks for your responses. Cheers.
Aspiring tasters to be certified at the "Old Bushmills" distillery.... I'm left side at the back. https://www.martindareff.com/Internatio ... /i-NWVtmfd May 19th, 2006.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by placeholder »

sman09 wrote: Wed Jun 23, 2021 6:49 pm
placeholder wrote: Fri Nov 14, 2014 12:40 pm In my early 40s I completed a college degree and started a new profession as a software engineer then bought a house so maybe 40s are the new 20s.
Would you mind sharing information about what that journey was like and perhaps some tips for others who would like to take a similar path on to better careers - either in this thread or as a new post/thread where others too could add their's.
I was an electronics engineer at megacorp and started taking programming courses at local colleges then one of the professors there suggested I sign up for their MS in computer science program so I did that in the evenings while working on new projects at megacorp with software tasks.
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by ScoobyDoo »

saladdin wrote: Thu Nov 13, 2014 1:49 pm Fresh into my 40's. Have chosen to not have kids and do not regret one iota. You're not required to have kids.

I now understand "midlife crisis" and now see how dumb I was making fun of those people when I was in my 20s'. Your mind still thinks it's 20 but your body loudly protests.
This is so odd ! Thought I’d feel old…but I don’t…until i try staying up past 1am!!!!!
ScoobyDoo!
Wannaretireearly
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Re: Bogleheads, tell me about your 40's?

Post by Wannaretireearly »

alfredwallace wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 10:38 am
Wannaretireearly wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 9:36 am
alfredwallace wrote: Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:34 am I'm 52 now.

Before I turned 40, I expected my physical health to take a downturn at 40. I was pleasantly surprised until somewhere around 47 or 48. That's when the warranty on my body clearly expired and happened quickly. The collagen left my body and all my cartilage, ligaments, and tendons I relied on without a second thought, turned to old crusty rubber bands. I had done weight training since age 14 and it kept me in shape. What they don't tell you is that your cartilage, ligaments, and tendons record the mileage. All the deep squats, bench presses, shoulder presses and everything else you do is etched into the connective tissue between your bones and will remind you later by disappearing. By your late 40s, you start waking up with creaking knees or ankles, or hips, or back or shoulders. You walk funny for the first 10 minutes getting out of bed in the morning. You are never sure which body part will betray you but it will be something and it will happen unexpectedly. Every time you exercise, you aren't quite sure if you'll come out of it okay. It's like wondering if you'll reach your destination when driving a 20 year old car with 350K miles on it. Prior to 40 you got used to the idea of recovering from a health problem or "getting over it" or "getting better". By 50 I realized that health conditions were things that you acquired and learned to live with and that you would only acquire more if you were lucky enough to continue to stay on the planet. They were no longer things that you "got over". Odd random shooting pains or weird occasional burning sensations just cropped up. Stuff doesn't work sometimes and you have no idea why and then you start sympathizing much more with older Americans realizing that they have gone through the same except are further down that road. I pretended I didn't need reading glasses but every monitor I read from had the google zoom set to 125% or higher. It happened quick. I could read fine at 48. I couldn't at 50. During my 40's some of my classmates and friends started dying from cancer or a heart attack or something else. My uncles, aunts, and parents have chronic debilitating conditions. My own mortality is no longer an abstraction but something that now affects how I spend the day.
This is really detailed. Nice job.
What's your takeaway on the exercise impacts you mention? Are there certain exercises to be more careful of? Appreciate you being so candid. Thanks!
Based on my experiences, heavy weights are a bad idea in your late 40s. What worked 10 years earlier won't work without injury (or reinjury if you injured a body part when you were 25). For example, I used to do sets of 10-12 tricep dips with 150 lbs of weights dangling from a weight belt. Don't do that when you are 40+ and don't do it when you are 20. You'll blow out your shoulder(s). The auricular cartilage in the acetabulum of your pelvis will get worn away with deep squats even with good form. It can lead to premature hip problems or pinched nerves (e.g. meralgia paresthetica etc) as the ligaments or bone that those nerves pass through are no longer in alignment. The bone density stays great with age and can even improve but the elastin and collagen of what holds those bones in place doesn't. Stretch before and stretch after a workout and between sets. Stretch from multiple angles. Hold those positions our you'll be in trouble. I use mostly body weight exercises now or use higher sets of controlled deliberate movement. Give yourself two days break between workout of the same muscle group if your body says you need it. Listen to it. It speaks a different language in your later 40s than your 20s. One day off works when you are 20, not when you are 50+. Your mileage may vary, but that's what works for me without causing injuries.
Thank you. Appreciate the detail 👌
“At some point you are trading time you will never get back for money you will never spend.“ | “How do you want to spend the best remaining year of your life?“
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