Dining out : Special requests

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jwblue
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Dining out : Special requests

Post by jwblue »

I feel horrible about this.

When going out to restaurants, I normally do not like to ask to have a dish prepared any differently than it normally is. It can make things difficult for a busy chef.

We at a Buca di Beppo last night. We ordered a veal parmesan and string beans. I went against my better judgement and asked for it to be prepared differently.

A lot of times when ordering a dish parmesan style there is too much sauce which makes the meat soggy. We asked that the veal parmesan have the sauce on the side. One person in our party does not like cheese at all. We also asked that one piece not have any cheese put on it. The string beans are normally sauteed in oil. We asked to have them steamed.

Sure enough, things blew up. The dish was prepared incorrectly twice.

After the waitress told us the first time the dish was not prepared the way we asked, I graciously told her it is not a big deal and we will take it.
We never saw it.

The manager came out and took it off our bill.

I felt horrible about this.

We also had to worry whether we had an angry chef that doctored our food.

What is the etiquette at a restaurant with asking that a dish be prepared differently?

We will definitely be going back to give the restaurant our business.
Sidney
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by Sidney »

We have found that peak nights like Friday and Saturday really test a restaurant's ability to perform well. We avoid those nights.

A good restaurant with a good executive chef should be able to adapt to special needs.
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Hayden
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by Hayden »

Agree, a restaurant should be able to handle this. These days, lots of people have food allergies or dietary preferences. This is very common.

I would say, just ask politely and be very, very specific in your request. I've had loads of errors over the years because I was not precise enough in my request.
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wilpat
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by wilpat »

I have a need for extremely low sodium consumption and I regularly ask restaurants to modify the way food is prepared and almost never have a problem with it.
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John3754
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by John3754 »

Food allergies and specific dietary requirements aside (peanut allergy, vegetarian, celiac, low sodium, etc), I do find it annoying, and I'm sure the restaurant staff does as well, when people in my party request a lot of changes that deviate from the menu. Like...I'll have the chicken with broccoli except I want asparagus instead of broccoli, steamed instead of stir fried, white sauce instead of garlic sauce, sauce on the side, no onions, extra mushrooms, etc, etc...

If you don't trust the chef to prepare the meal well then don't go to the restaurant, save your money and cook at home the way you like.
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momar
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by momar »

John3754 wrote: Like...I'll have the chicken with broccoli except I want asparagus instead of broccoli, steamed instead of stir fried, white sauce instead of garlic sauce, sauce on the side, no onions, extra mushrooms, etc, etc...
Beef instead of chicken...


I think there is a difference between asking for the food to be prepared in a certain way and asking them to prepare a completely different dish. It should be no problem in the former, and people should be ashamed of themselves in the latter.

I'm with you, I trust the chef to prepare the food. In fact, I wish more restaurants would trim their menus down or even offer only 1 or 2 entrees that change on a nightly basis.
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moon2
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by moon2 »

I have dietary restrictions for health reasons, and regularly ask for modifications. Not only do I not have problems with this, but I've found servers and chefs eager to accommodate, and often the plate of food I get from the chef is gorgeous! with incredible, creative substitutions.
enderland
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by enderland »

I would imagine the waitstaff and chef would react differently to, "I don't think you will prepare this correctly if I don't specify" vs "I care enough about my health to ask about this" for approaches.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by Mudpuppy »

If there are dietary restrictions (or even just very strong dislikes) which would require extensive modifications to a menu item, call ahead and talk to the manager and/or chef to see if the restaurant will be willing to make accommodations. Make sure those accommodations are noted in your reservation, then remind the host/hostess about the request when you arrive. This way the chef and wait staff know ahead of time that a party will be coming in at a certain time that will be needed a special request and it won't be a surprise during a busy time in the kitchen.

If it is just a minor modification, then you should be fine with not calling ahead. But it needs to be truly minor, like asking for no cheese on a pasta dish that just has cheese sprinkled over the top or replacing the included side dish with another side dish on the menu. Asking for sauce on the side for a dish which is normally cooked in said sauce is not a minor modification, nor would asking for steamed green beans be a minor modification unless steamed green beans was a side dish on the menu. You probably should have called ahead to see if the restaurant could make these accommodations.
stan1
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by stan1 »

I think you are going to have better luck with this at a family or chef owned restaurant where you can talk to a waiter or chef who actually understands the ingredients in a dish and knows what's available in the kitchen (rather than at a chain).
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dm200
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by dm200 »

I think it may depend primarily on what kind of special preparation is requested. For example, we often eat at Ruby Tuesdays, and my wife does not like certain types of spicy sauces. She often asks if those sauces can be modified. Sometimes they can do it and sometimes they can not because the sauces are fully integrated into the dish.

I also suspect that your best bet on changes might be in a small place, when the kitchen is not hectic and you have a "relationship" with the owner (or equivalent). If you are (or are perceived to be) "difficult" about this, I would be concerned that the kitchen (or other staff) would do things to the food that would not be pleasant (if you knew about it).
OverTheHill
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by OverTheHill »

I think some folks are missing an important point. The customer is always right, period. When a customer wants food prepared differently or substitutions, then that's exactly what any decent restaurant should and can do without problem. Customers pay the money, so they should get whatever they ask for so long as it's humanly possible.
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mike143
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by mike143 »

I think we all have people that we stress to dine with because they are never happy with their meal. I don't want to be one of those people. I can understand asking them to remove an item, no onions, but I would never go beyond that. This thread reminds me of another: Dinner Guest Issues. I firmly believe the customer is not always right, I have seen people that cannot be satisfied and end up costing businesses money. I will usually give a business two chances, I don't complain, if they fail at their business then I no longer give them my money. There are plenty of businesses that do want my money.
Last edited by mike143 on Sun May 05, 2013 4:48 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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stan1
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by stan1 »

Wow, 4 posts in a row that start with "I think" .....
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John3754
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by John3754 »

OverTheHill wrote:I think some folks are missing an important point. The customer is always right, period. When a customer wants food prepared differently or substitutions, then that's exactly what any decent restaurant should and can do without problem. Customers pay the money, so they should get whatever they ask for so long as it's humanly possible.
The customer is always right, but that does not mean that the customer always has good etiquette. Note that the restaurant tried to accommodate the OP and then comped them when it didn't work out, because as you say, the customer is always right. However, an awkward situation was created by the requests made and the subsequent predictable failure of those requests to be met.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by VictoriaF »

stan1 wrote:Wow, 4 posts in a row that start with "I think" .....
Thoughts about food give food for thought.

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dpc
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by dpc »

I think we all have people that we stress to dine with because they are never happy with their meal
Amen, brother. And it's highly predictable. Some people seem to feel the need to make a special request on every order. I tend to be just the opposite. I let the chef cook it, and if I don't like it, I don't go back. I've worked with people who apparently have never liked any meal they have ever received in any restaurant. I'm glad my palette is not that refined.

Then there are the people who want to taste 10 different micro-brews before ordering a pint. Just buy a beer and drink it for crying out loud.

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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by bengal22 »

There is a difference between people who are always unhappy with their meal and people that have special instructions for their meal. IMO if you go to a restaurant they should have a cook or chef that can handle special requests. I do not understand why a customer can't order a meal cooked the way they like it. Most cooks are professional. However, special requests for guests to the house is a whole other story. :annoyed
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by mickeyd »

I don't recall ever asking a restaurant for a special order as I can always find something on the menu that sounds good to me. But, in these shaky economic times, I am surprised that any eating establishment would not be happy to oblige a customer (guest?) in this simple way. After all, these places are all about serving folks and getting them to come back again and again.

Sounds like they could use an undercover visit from that guy on the Food Network.
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jwblue
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by jwblue »

I now realize my mistake.

It seems simple to remember to not add sauce when cooking and not put cheese on one fillet.
Heck, it actually is probably less work. Just too much to remember when cooking 5 other orders at once.

I will make it up to the restaurant by frequenting them more than I usually would. They will get their money back.

Now, I just have in the back my mind something might have been done to my food.
Last edited by jwblue on Sun May 05, 2013 6:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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windaar
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by windaar »

Maybe a chain like Buppa has their items prepped in advance and this request threw them off. Last year at a high end restaurant they told me they couldn't make me an egg white omelet. I felt like Jack Nicholson in Five Easy Pieces - - Make me 2 eggs sunny side up but cut the yolk out, throw some cheese in and fold it over!
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by livesoft »

Here is the scene from Five Easy Pieces that is appropriate for this thread.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wtfNE4z6a8
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Bradley
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by Bradley »

jwblue wrote:I feel horrible about this.

When going out to restaurants, I normally do not like to ask to have a dish prepared any differently than it normally is. It can make things difficult for a busy chef.



As one who has interest in two of the most booked/popular restaurants in the area, I can tell you that the chef will accommodate any special request that he can. Chefs want their customers to have enjoyable experiences. You have an enjoyable experience, you are likely to return. Never feel badly about requesting the kitchen to prepare the meal you are paying for in the manner you would like.
Last edited by Bradley on Sun May 05, 2013 6:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by mlipps »

At chains like Buca & Ruby Tuesday, there's much less cooking, especially during dinner service, going on than some of you seem to think. Chain restaurants vary in how much they cook on site vs. truck in & microwave, but very little is made during the busy times; most is precooked & "held". Whether or not they can accomodate some requests certainly depends at least partly on this. I worked in 2 similar chain restaurants and had friends work at many others.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by mlipps »

jwblue wrote:
Now, I just have to have in the back my mind something might have been done to my food.
This doesn't happen in any kitchen that I've ever been in, despite what TV shows might say.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by JamesSFO »

I am of the view that reasonable requests like holding a sauce, cheese, or light on the oil should be honored when possible. And that if they cannot be honored the waiter/chef should explain that clearly up front. That said, the more special requests you make the less likely you are going to get the dish you requested...

For example, my mom has a gazillion vegetables she doesn't like in her Chinese food these days, it started to become a running joke almost to get her to order, then I got her to switch her order to chicken w/ broccoli with hunan sauce. Much easier than hunan chicken but no x, no y, no z, no a, no b, etc. Since switching ordering approaches we have 100% success rate getting her dish, before there was always a problem/confusion.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by Grasshopper »

I have a winemakers dinner in Napa soon, we asked to have the menu adapted to vegetarian for us. Second course pork something with a 1975 Cabernet to swill, I can't imagine what we will have on our plates. :oops:
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by Mudpuppy »

OverTheHill wrote:I think some folks are missing an important point. The customer is always right, period. When a customer wants food prepared differently or substitutions, then that's exactly what any decent restaurant should and can do without problem. Customers pay the money, so they should get whatever they ask for so long as it's humanly possible.
You're missing the point that restaurants, particularly chain restaurants, are not all made-from-scratch places. My parents love to go to a certain chain restaurant, but I am not a fan because almost everything comes from corporate preseasoned and frozen. The kitchen primarily just heats and plates things. Even the garlic cheese toast is frozen with the cheese on it so you can't just just garlic toast. It's hard to get what you want in those situations.

I would also point out that some customers can be so unreasonable that it can be better for the restaurant to refuse their business than try to accommodate them. Eating out is an exchange of money for services after all. It is not an excuse to get anything one wants with the reasoning that the "customer is always right". If the business finds the request unreasonable, the business can and should refuse service.

That's why I suggested that one should call ahead when one knows there is going to be a request that greatly deviates from the menu. This allows one to determine if the restaurant is even capable of making the change (e.g. has enough raw ingredients on hand) and gives the restaurant the opportunity to politely refuse to accommodate if the request is too much for them to handle. It's also the polite thing to do IMHO.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by jwblue »

JamesSFO wrote:I am of the view that reasonable requests like holding a sauce, cheese, or light on the oil should be honored when possible. And that if they cannot be honored the waiter/chef should explain that clearly up front. That said, the more special requests you make the less likely you are going to get the dish you requested...

For example, my mom has a gazillion vegetables she doesn't like in her Chinese food these days, it started to become a running joke almost to get her to order, then I got her to switch her order to chicken w/ broccoli with hunan sauce. Much easier than hunan chicken but no x, no y, no z, no a, no b, etc. Since switching ordering approaches we have 100% success rate getting her dish, before there was always a problem/confusion.
I am the OP.

Before this ordeal, I didn't think either that I was asking too much.


My opinion has changed from not thinking I asked too much to I don't know.

Right or wrong, I won't be doing this again.

Learned a lesson.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by Mudpuppy »

jwblue wrote:Now, I just have in the back my mind something might have been done to my food.
I highly doubt that the chef did something to your food. That particular urban legend gets blown out of proportion because it rarely actually happens. Does it happen sometimes? Sure. Does it happen every time someone makes a special request? No.

You usually have to do a lot more than make a request at time of ordering to upset a chef to the point they'd risk getting the restaurant shut down over a health violation (unless the restaurant already has a questionable health compliance status, but then you have a whole range of things to worry about). If the wait staff did not properly convey the request to the kitchen, it's the wait staff that bear the brunt of the chef's annoyance. That sounds like what happened in your case, since the error was caught before the food was served.

The very few times one has heard of chef's at restaurants with good health standards reputations "doing something" to food, the customer was a downright nightmare of "impossible to please". But maybe this urban legend is some sort of reverse psychology to get people to not send things back, because at a recent conference dinner one of the people at my table did not protest when the wait staff brought out fish instead of a vegetarian dish. I kept telling her that they wouldn't mind and wouldn't do anything to her food for such an obvious wait staff error, but she refused to ask for an exchange (or to let us ask for an exchange for her) and just picked at her rice and salad.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by mlipps »

I used to work at chain steakhouse & once had to ask a chef to butterfly a 6 oz filet to cook one half medium and the other half medium well. I got an earful but the customer got what they wanted. Mudpuppy is right that the waitstaff bear the brunt of the chef's frustration, not the customers.
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jwblue
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by jwblue »

Mudpuppy wrote:
You usually have to do a lot more than make a request at time of ordering to upset a chef to the point they'd risk getting the restaurant shut down over a health violation (unless the restaurant already has a questionable health compliance status, but then you have a whole range of things to worry about). .
Like the time I was in Las Vegas and a customer sitting next to me was returned a salad that had tomatoes on it when he had asked for it without tomatoes.

Thank you for easing my mind that I might have ate ate Veal de la Spit.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by VictoriaF »

Has it ever happened to anybody to make a request for a special dish preparation and have the request denied? If waiters always say 'yes,' and if the satisfaction of all possible requests is impossible, then some dishes are certain to deviate from the specifications.

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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by Cyclone »

My wife works in a McDonald's. Someone once ordered a cheeseburger with no cheese.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by VictoriaF »

Cyclone wrote:My wife works in a McDonald's. Someone once ordered a cheeseburger with no cheese.
Next time I will order iced tea without tea.

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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by cheesepep »

I almost never make special requests with my meal. Actually, I only remembered one time when I went to a Thai restaurant and ordered their special fried rice that came with raisins in the ingredients list. I like raisins, but not with my fried rice, so I requested for no raisins. I received my order with raisins inside. I didn't complain and pushed all of those fat buggers off to the side and enjoyed my fried rice in peace.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by semperlux »

cheesepep wrote:I almost never make special requests with my meal. Actually, I only remembered one time when I went to a Thai restaurant and ordered their special fried rice that came with raisins in the ingredients list. I like raisins, but not with my fried rice, so I requested for no raisins. I received my order with raisins inside. I didn't complain and pushed all of those fat buggers off to the side and enjoyed my fried rice in peace.
You sure those were raisins? :D Sorry, couldn't resist.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by Mudpuppy »

VictoriaF wrote:Has it ever happened to anybody to make a request for a special dish preparation and have the request denied? If waiters always say 'yes,' and if the satisfaction of all possible requests is impossible, then some dishes are certain to deviate from the specifications.
I've requested pasta primavera without cheese and had it delivered where there was obviously cheese in the sauce (although none sprinkled on top). This was at the aforementioned chain restaurant my parents frequent. It turned out the waitress did not realize the sauce came from corporate with cheese (this being one of her many failings to know the current menu according to my father). So the waitress should have informed me that the dish could not be served without cheese (e.g. refuse my request because the kitchen did not have the materials to honor it), but she did not because of her lack of knowledge of the menu.

Edit: typo
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by kermit »

I have never had a problem with special requests. My wife is a pescatarian and we often need to make adjustments to even fixed course tasting menus; never have we had issues. The difference is we don't eat at chain restaurants like Buca di Beppo. Nothing against them, they have their part in the world, but we avoid them. Do you really think they have chefs in the kitchen that can handle change? I don't.

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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by cheapedy »

Story of my life!!! I've transitioned from eating everything I wanted as a kid and teen, to the infamous low carb diets, to vegetarian, vegan, and my current phase of Fat Free Vegan. Ironically, steakhouses and BBQ restaurants are great for me. I can always get a good ol' American baked potato, corn on the cob, and salad.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by snyder66 »

The problem is, you made this request at Buca di Beppo, or whatever it's called. This is a franchise staffed by low paid employees. You just can't expect a whole lot when you dine at these places. They are reasonable for a reason.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by Tamahome »

My rule of thumb is that if it is an add-on, make a change. If it is a mix-in, don't. For example, I am allergic to mushrooms of all things (sadly). If a steak has sautéed mushrooms on it, I have no problem saying, "No mushrooms, please." If a stir fry has mushrooms mixed in, I do not get it.

I also typically stick to the one change rule. If it is more than one change, you are going from stating a preference into getting demanding. Further, the dish was put together with a certain blend of flavors in mind. If I start taking those flavors out, I am eating an unfinished dish. I simply find something else on the menu to enjoy.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by RooseveltG »

My diet is close to the Ornish diet so I always have special requests. Most restaurants can accomodate but I do run into an occasional chef who digs his heals in. I usually go with the flow but never return when that happens.

A bigger issue I have is with weddings, etc. I usually call the restaurant/hotel and request a special meal. This USUALLY works and saves a lot of grief. I am always amused when everyone at the table asks, "how did you get that?"

Another trick is to carry an energy bar that meets your needs. I rarely resort to this because I can eat salad and fruit. I actually think it is getting easier to request modifications because more people are doing this. The trick is to plan ahead.

Roosevelt.
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by Mudpuppy »

RooseveltG wrote:A bigger issue I have is with weddings, etc. I usually call the restaurant/hotel and request a special meal. This USUALLY works and saves a lot of grief. I am always amused when everyone at the table asks, "how did you get that?"
That reminds me of a personal food pet peeve. I have to travel to several conferences a year for work. Most of them will have a place on the reservation to indicate food issues or select a special meal for the conference dinner. It greatly irks me when I dutifully fill out the form, then arrive and find there is no mechanism to get the special meal or that they have simply ignored the special meal request.

Now I know to not trust that the conference organizers actually forward such requests to the catering staff, but it is not always possible to know who is catering ahead of time (it is easy to figure out who is catering when the conference is at a hotel, but not so much when it is at a convention center). I always check nearby restaurants for menus and hours of operation to have a backup in case I arrive at the convention center to find a buffet full of beef and dairy (I can't digest either and they are both very popular at conference buffets).
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by rixer »

Burger King will do it YOUR WAY. :)
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by JupiterJones »

OverTheHill wrote:When a customer wants food prepared differently or substitutions, then that's exactly what any decent restaurant should and can do without problem.
I agree. But we weren't talking about decent restaurants, we were talking about Bucca di Beppo. :P

Actually, I'm only half-kidding there. It would've been nice if they had gotten it right, and it's a shame that they didn't. But ordering at a restaurant is like ordering at a bar--for best results you have to tailor your order and your expectations to the realities of the situation.

If I'm at Divey O'Stickeyfloor's Bar & Lounge, I'm not going to order a Negroni, up, with a Meyer Lemon twist, and oh could you be sure to use French, not Italian vermouth? I'm going to stick to drinks where the recipe and the name are the same thing (rum and coke, scotch and soda, beer, etc.) Likewise, if I'm at Chainy McFranchise's Mall-Area Restaurant, I'm only going to push the "special order" thing so far. Each request increases your odds of failure exponentially.
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wilpat
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Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by wilpat »

cheapedy wrote:Story of my life!!! I've transitioned from eating everything I wanted as a kid and teen, to the infamous low carb diets, to vegetarian, vegan, and my current phase of Fat Free Vegan. Ironically, steakhouses and BBQ restaurants are great for me. I can always get a good ol' American baked potato, corn on the cob, and salad.
I regularly order salad (dressing on the side) and a baked potato as my entire meal when I go to a steak place.
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Wolkenspiel
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Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:45 am

Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by Wolkenspiel »

VictoriaF wrote:Has it ever happened to anybody to make a request for a special dish preparation and have the request denied?

Victoria
I once saw a waitress in a nice restaurant in the Geneva countryside decline a customers request to have their steak "well done" - she claimed the cook would kill her if she took that order.

In general I feel one substitution or minor modification is sometimes ok, but if people want to compose their own dish, they should do so at home.
rkhusky
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2011 8:09 pm

Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by rkhusky »

Cyclone wrote:My wife works in a McDonald's. Someone once ordered a cheeseburger with no cheese.
When McDonalds runs a cheeseburger special, it is sometimes cheaper to order a cheeseburger without cheese, than a regular burger.

I knew a family, who were vegetarians, but whose children wanted to eat at McDonalds, like every other kid in the world. They would order cheeseburgers without meat.
lmccarly
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Joined: Wed Apr 03, 2013 3:21 pm

Re: Dining out : Special requests

Post by lmccarly »

I watch my sodium intake so dining out is tricky. To complicate things, DH'S and I travel a lot for his job so sometimes it unavoidable. I always scope out the menu ahead of time and get nutritional info when available. I ask the server for no added salt on my meal, acknowledging that some if not all food has been preseasoned. If the menu options prove difficult, I usually order a salad. I try really hard not to embarrass the other members in my party, it's not their issue after all.

The server usually gets a healthy tip for accommodating my requests as well as a comment to management to pass on to the chef/cook.
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