Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

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tony5412
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

Post by tony5412 »

cchrissyy wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 3:40 pm
tony5412 wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 2:19 pm
cchrissyy wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 1:54 pm go for it

in my head, this gets filed under "things which matter to me, but which other people aren't even thinking about". it's like when you get a haircut or a new shirt. everybody else is too busy with whatever is on their own plate to notice or care.

and yes, you want a real piercing and tattoo place. it's not just the chance of infection it's also the quality of the jewelry, the exact placement and angle of the hole, and the followup care and advice you might need. it will probably be fine, but if you did have questions you want to call the professionals, not the mall.
Perhaps you are right that most would be too busy to care. I keep busy as do most of my co workers. I would don't care nor comment if a co worker has a new hairstyle.

Good points re going to a professional.
People might not even register this as "a change". If they notice at all, they might assume it was always there and they just hadn't noticed before.
Interesting perspective.
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tony5412
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

Post by tony5412 »

Savermom wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 4:58 pm You can get it done at a plastic surgeon’s office.

I agree with the others who said you had better be sure that you want it due to the scar it would still leave.
GoldenFinch wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 4:47 pm I wouldn’t worry about it job wise. Just make sure you really want to wear them because otherwise you will likely have scarring. Even though the scars are small, they will be there.
Are you referring to the raised bumps? From time to time, I run into someone who I could tell had their ears pierced at one time. So that's pretty much inevitable when one has their ears pierced? I understand there are different gauges. The studio I went to said their default is 18G.
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tony5412
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

Post by tony5412 »

JoeRetire wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 5:04 pm Of course there are still some employers/bosses who consciously or unconsciously would look down on that. Same with visible tattoos, unusual hair colors or styles, non-traditional clothes, other visible piercings, etc.

Much depends on your locale, the local culture, the company you work for, the employer, the specific roles, etc. I've worked in some tech companies where t-shirts, shorts, pets, and no shoes was acceptable. I've worked in others where ties were always mandatory, and suits were required when meeting with clients.

If you don't see others in your company doing the same, you'll be an exception and stick out. That means negative repercussions are more likely.

Only you are in a position to decide if the risk (however unlikely) is worthwhile or not.
Difficult to tell so I'll have to put some more thought into it. Interestingly enough, there are some directors with visible tattoos including one that has a sleeve up and down his arm. That being said, most of the men who do wear earrings are in "rank and file" positions (with the exception of some supervisors). None of the men in HR, Marketing, Finance, Accounting, or any other "professional" position wears earrings. There are a couple of vendors we work with that wear them but they don't work for the company.
Last edited by tony5412 on Tue Oct 26, 2021 12:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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tony5412
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

Post by tony5412 »

123 wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 5:17 pm Do you want the people at work to think of or describe you as the individual with certain expertise or the "guy with the earrings"?
Already known as the guy with certain expertise.
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tony5412
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

Post by tony5412 »

mrc wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 6:03 pm I'd put a small IT shop in the middle of the spectrum from silk stocking law firm [very conservative, conformance mandatory] to artists league [individual expression is almost mandatory]. Where does your firm sit? I'd also adjust based on where you are: east/west coast vs mid west or south.
I would say middle of the road but lean slightly in the "conformance" direction. I am in the midwest.
mrc wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 6:03 pmHowever, workplace discrimination based on appearance is real, and covert. If you think the change in your appearance will attract negative attention, you're probably right.

You mention covert and that's what I'm thinking, if there is any negative attention.
Last edited by tony5412 on Tue Oct 26, 2021 12:26 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

Post by tony5412 »

LittleMaggieMae wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 6:38 pm Go get your ears pierced. If it turns out to be an issue at your current job OR at some future job - you just remove the earrings.

I'd say once you've had earrings in for a year or so - the holes don't close permanently when you don't wear earrings for a few days. So you could not wear earrings to work - but could put them back in in the evenings and weekends.
Thanks for the info. I would have to wear them pretty much 24/7 for a year or so. What if I were to go on an interview? They can be left out for a couple hours before the year is up? I'm not sure it would be appropriate to wear them to an interview, even if they are discrete.
LittleMaggieMae wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 6:38 pm I'd say once you've had earrings in/out for more than 2 years - the holes won't close permanently - and you can just put earrings in on the weekends.

When the earrings aren't in - I'd say no one is gonna notice you have pierced ears.

If you get your ears pierced - and then in 6 months have to remove the earrings permanently because of work - you're out - what - the cost of night having beers at the sports bar?? Even if you buy a couple pairs of stud earrings to use after you are done with the "piercer" studs -and you have to give up wearing earrings permanently - you're out - what? the cost of ticket to a live show or sporting event (if you get high end studs). It's an experience. Just do it.
Not worried about the cost of the piercings/earrings. I am more concerned about future earnings being affected. So basically you'd suggest wearing them unless my boss says otherwise and then just take them out?
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tony5412
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

Post by tony5412 »

blackburnian wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 7:01 pm I think you should do it. You'll feel good about yourself, and who knows, you might start a trend.
A trend? Ha! I doubt it but ya never know.
blackburnian wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 7:01 pmBut probably no one will even notice.
I figured everyone would notice lol.
blackburnian wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 7:01 pmAs far as where to get it done, you want it to be hygienic, and you also want the person to be good at positioning the hole in the right place. I got mine done, when I was in my 40s, by my dermatologist. She really enjoyed it (I think it was a good break from looking for skin cancers!) She used solid gold posts, which I had to leave in for some time (I can't remember how long).
I didn't realize Dermatologists (or ENTs for that matter) did piercings. I have to see a Dermatologist for another issue so I might have to bring that up.
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tony5412
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

Post by tony5412 »

Beensabu wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 7:39 pm It's better to get your ears pierced by a professional with a sterilized needle than one of those mall guns. Those ear piercing guns are gross. Ew. Doing it yourself at home is cleaner lol.

Pick a low-key or flesh-colored stud if you're worried about reactions. If you want, you can put clear studs in once the healing period is over.
I was looking at 2mm silver or gold studs to start out with. Didn't see any flesh colored ones offered but will look into.
Beensabu wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 7:39 pmOnce you get through the healing period, you can take your studs out when you're at work or wherever, and put them back in when you're home, if it matters to you. The piercings are not going to close over the course of half a day. Even if earrings are out long enough for a membrane to start to form (a couple weeks when newer, as long as you had them in for the first 2 months), you can just push it right through - it barely hurts. I've had my ears pierced since I was 2, haven't regularly worn earrings in 8 years, and can still push 'em through once in a while when the occasion calls for fancying up. No biggie.

The trick is taking good care of the piercing when you get it (or any time you "re-pierce" on the fly). Keep it clean and sterilized, and twist the studs daily so the piercing doesn't get gummed up. Don't push the backings up too close to your ear.
Thanks for the tips. I did hear that they have to be cleaned a couple times per day.
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

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cchrissyy wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 8:52 pm If it helps to think about it this way, if someone I worked with a long time showed up to today with earrings, and I noticed them, my first guess would be they had been there the whole time. My second guess is they got pierced many years ago and just now resumed wearing them. My distant third guess would be the holes are actually new.
winterfan wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 9:08 pm If someone in their 40s showed up with earrings, I would just assume you've always had pierced ears. You can go to a tattoo/piercing shop, but the guns work pretty well.
Hmm, well I've never actually told anyone that I have NOT pierced my ears before. :)
winterfan wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 9:08 pmI punched second holes in my ears with ice and a stud earring in my bedroom when I was a teen. :D I also think tech employees have a little more leeway in how they dress/style their hair.
That's what I've been told. I guess I have been at the same job for too long. :)
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

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They are simply ugly on males, especially older males after 30.
I see colleagues in my last software company do these types of self destruction. Overweight mid aged guy with thin ponytail and you could count how many hairs he has. Young woman with short bright teal green and purple hair who always wear black jacket. Is she try to be a peacock? A tall good looking young guy who has darker brown hair highlighted the ends of the hair almost mustered yellow. Oh man, he discounted his look. Sad. Sometime last year, males in my team started to have mustache on our zoom meeting. Gosh, they are nice guys, but they LOOKED smell with heavy mustache. It's brutal to work in that software company. Not a pretty scene.
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

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tony5412 wrote: Tue Oct 26, 2021 12:07 am
123 wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 5:17 pm Do you want the people at work to think of or describe you as the individual with certain expertise or the "guy with the earrings"?
Already known as the guy with certain expertise.
FWIW, I like to express my personality through my hair, beard, and clothing, especially because I have Asperger's and people tend to assume I am like a robot. I work for an ultra-conservative company and my boss is one of the most conservative people I've ever met, so I did wait to establish myself as a known entity and subject matter expert before I started growing out my beard and letting my wife play with my hair. Took about 1.5yrs but I'm now 6.5yrs in and when I show up to my meeting with all the c-level execs this afternoon with my mohawk, large beard, and pink leopard-print Vans, nobody will bat an eye. They've also had no problem sending me to scientific conferences, to speak in front of 20k+ people, or on TV to represent the company in similar garb; if you're good at your job, (my experience is) nobody cares.
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

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jabberwockOG wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 8:48 pm
JoeRetire wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 5:04 pm
tony5412 wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 12:03 pmIt's something I'd like to do but I do wonder if and how it could affect my future job and career prospects. Do most employers these days tend to be open to earrings on men or is there still a stigma?
Of course there are still some employers/bosses who consciously or unconsciously would look down on that. Same with visible tattoos, unusual hair colors or styles, non-traditional clothes, other visible piercings, etc.

Much depends on your locale, the local culture, the company you work for, the employer, the specific roles, etc. I've worked in some tech companies where t-shirts, shorts, pets, and no shoes was acceptable. I've worked in others where ties were always mandatory, and suits were required when meeting with clients.

If you don't see others in your company doing the same, you'll be an exception and stick out. That means negative repercussions are more likely.

Only you are in a position to decide if the risk (however unlikely) is worthwhile or not.
+1 In a professional business culture you want to stand out and have people to notice your work and your professionalism, not your grooming, clothes, or jewelry, tattoos, piercings, etc. But only you can judge if this kind of change might be a negative distraction in your specific workplace.
As with almost every "people" situation, it depends...
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

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Wearing ear rings when you have a house and then a garden seems to be dangerous, plants might rip off your ears while you are raking your yard right now. From where could you get an outer ear transplant?
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

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tony5412 wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 12:03 pm Just to give some background info: I am 40ish, mid career, work in IT, male, and have been thinking about getting my ears pierced for quite some time. Nothing too drastic, just one piercing in each ear with a small stud in each ear (no stretching or the like).

I've been told that a tattoo parlor would be the way to go instead of a store at the mall as there would be less chance of an infection.

Seems to be a straightforward process. I've also been told that I could expect the piercings to heal after 4-8 weeks but I would need to wear earrings for an entire year. This includes work, events, job interviews, and the like.

I think the main reason I haven't done this already is my career. My job allows earrings on me (one in each ear) but I don't see any male "professionals" at work with an earring or males members of management with earrings other than a few lower level supervisors. None of the males in the group I work in wear earrings. This leads me to believe that I would stand out and this could affect management perception, promotion opportunities, etc. I have been at the same place for over 10 years so it may not be an issue if I plan to stay in my current position. However, I have thought about interviewing for other jobs and it doesn't seem like a good idea to show up to interviews with earrings.

I know there are successful career-oriented people who post here so I figured I'd ask here. It's something I'd like to do but I do wonder if and how it could affect my future job and career prospects. Do most employers these days tend to be open to earrings on men or is there still a stigma?
It's unavoidable to be "judged or categorized or profiled, and yes yes yes Stigmatized," as long as we are a human living amongst and associating with fellow humans.

While idealistically, "you can indeed be you", and all that, we do not live in an ideal world. And, until that changes, if ever, yes, you will be "stigmatized" for the way you walk and talk and look and act, for your conduct, for the way you smell, for the car you drive, for the clothes you wear and how you wear them, and for everything about you.

So, while you posit a question, it might be good to ask yourself or your "Self", some questions first:

1. *****What kind of external personnae do you wish to create and exude as a reflection of your inner "Self" and a reassurance of your inner "Self", etc.?

2. It's not earrings, that's just an object, it's the context and #1 above. The big "why"? Friends, significant other, peer group, acceptance, making a stand, showing individuality, "feeling good about oneself" (what does that take. . an earring?).
So, question, why is this important to you?
3. If you feel you're stigmitized and there are repercussions at work after you put on earrings, who will you blame?
The system? Society? The company?
4. You can get your ears pierced and then wear earrings anywhere but work. Yes? Why not?
5. Unlike tatoos which are for the most part forever and indeed stigmitized, yes, still, an ear piercing is not. Have you thought of this at that level? Neck and arm and hand tatoos?
6. When you change your external appearance, etc, be accepting of the feedback that happens from others whether you want that or not.

OP: for the best peace of mind, have your ears pierced in a doctor's office if that works for you.

j :D
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

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shunkman wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 12:32 pm I passing this on from a friend. His piercing got infected over and over again no matter how often he sterilized it with peroxide etc. He finally gave up and stopped trying.
I had infection trouble with my ear piercings as a child and gave up also. I honestly am not a jewelry person anyway so I'd rather not have the hassle which is why I never got them pierced again as an adult.
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

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Any deviation from perceived norm can make a herd jumpy. I’ve worked in places where if you showed up with a sport coat for a big meeting instead of the office-normal shorts and T-shirt, it was all people could talk about. However, purple hair, tattoos, and facial piercings would be ignored.

You know your current workplace; you’ve said there are lower level managers with earrings. If you aren’t planning to move jobs for the healing period, any discrimination should be minor.
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

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tony5412 wrote: Tue Oct 26, 2021 12:07 am
JoeRetire wrote: Mon Oct 25, 2021 5:04 pm Of course there are still some employers/bosses who consciously or unconsciously would look down on that. Same with visible tattoos, unusual hair colors or styles, non-traditional clothes, other visible piercings, etc.

Much depends on your locale, the local culture, the company you work for, the employer, the specific roles, etc. I've worked in some tech companies where t-shirts, shorts, pets, and no shoes was acceptable. I've worked in others where ties were always mandatory, and suits were required when meeting with clients.

If you don't see others in your company doing the same, you'll be an exception and stick out. That means negative repercussions are more likely.

Only you are in a position to decide if the risk (however unlikely) is worthwhile or not.
Difficult to tell so I'll have to put some more thought into it. Interestingly enough, there are some directors with visible tattoos including one that has a sleeve up and down his arm. That being said, most of the men who do wear earrings are in "rank and file" positions (with the exception of some supervisors). None of the men in HR, Marketing, Finance, Accounting, or any other "professional" position wears earrings. There are a couple of vendors we work with that wear them but they don't work for the company.
I think it is possible that you have supplied the answer to your original question (and I mean that in a nice way).
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

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I personally would quietly judge someone or be wary if I saw a male do that at work, but I work in investment banking in a client facing role.

That being said, we are living in a very pro-PC world / woke environment. So many companies would probably not make a big fuss.

I think you have to really think about if earrings would make you much happier and improve your self-confidence. If it would, I think you should get it. You might be quietly judged by people like me and it may silently hurt future promotion prospects, but that is highly dependent on the type of office environment you have. Only you can know how earrings will be perceived because you have been working there for so long.
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Re: Thinking about getting my ears pierced for the first time

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Topic has run its course (workplace relationship issue).
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