Life events spent more than earned

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
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B3GINN3R
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Life events spent more than earned

Post by B3GINN3R »

Besides house and car purchases and weddings, have you ever had months where ur cash flow was negative for a few months?

Just had a baby and she is unbelievable, best time of my life so far unquestionably.

Financially, We used to live on 20-30 percent of gross, now closer to 80-90 for the first month of newborn with all the stuff we have had to buy (diapers toys hospital bills clothing). Is this normal or are we spending to much on baby stuff?

We net about 14k per month after filling all 401ks and back door iras.
02nz
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by 02nz »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:15 am have you ever had months where ur cash flow was negative for a few months?
There are probably very, very few people (even on this forum) who've never had negative cash flow for at least a few months.
B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:15 am Financially, We used to live on 20-30 percent of gross, now closer to 80-90 for the first month of newborn with all the stuff we have had to buy (diapers toys hospital bills clothing). Is this normal or are we spending to much on baby stuff?
That doesn't seem abnormal, surely you're not going to be in the hospital having a new baby every month. (And really, a newborn needs toys already?!)
Last edited by 02nz on Sat May 15, 2021 11:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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ruralavalon
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by ruralavalon »

Congratulations on you new baby :D . Now everything changes.

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:15 am Besides house and car purchases and weddings, have you ever had months where ur cash flow was negative for a few months?

Just had a baby and she is unbelievable, best time of my life so far unquestionably.

Financially, We used to live on 20-30 percent of gross, now closer to 80-90 for the first month of newborn with all the stuff we have had to buy (diapers toys hospital bills clothing). Is this normal or are we spending to much on baby stuff?

We net about 14k per month after filling all 401ks and back door iras.
Yes, we had months when necessary expenses exceeded income.

It's very normal to have substantially increased expenses with a new child. I can't possibly know if your spending was unnecessarily extravagant or necessary.

If you are still making maximum contributions to all 401ks and IRAs you are doing very well in my opinion.
Last edited by ruralavalon on Sat May 15, 2021 11:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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runner3081
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by runner3081 »

We found the opposite. A newborn needed nothing outside of diapers. Which, fortunately, we received those at the baby shower (what we asked for).

The few times our cash flow was low is when we had to replace the roof underpayment and also when we had a new AC. Rather than hitting the emergency fund, we just cash flowed them with a credit card grace period.

At one point, we also owned two houses when moving from one state to another. That was for 2 months and maxed us out.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by stoptothink »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:15 am Besides house and car purchases and weddings, have you ever had months where ur cash flow was negative for a few months?

Just had a baby and she is unbelievable, best time of my life so far unquestionably.

Financially, We used to live on 20-30 percent of gross, now closer to 80-90 for the first month of newborn with all the stuff we have had to buy (diapers toys hospital bills clothing). Is this normal or are we spending to much on baby stuff?

We net about 14k per month after filling all 401ks and back door iras.
While the obvious answer is yes, having a baby changes finances a lot, are you saying your household expenses have TRIPLED the last few months due to buying "baby stuff"? Most new parents spend way more on baby stuff than they have to, sounds like that's the case here.
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winterfan
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by winterfan »

Well, hospital bills are expensive, but the other baby stuff shouldn't be too much. I found we spent way less when we had a newborn. I wasn't commuting to work and we stayed close to home most of the time. Plus, family and friends kept bringing us food and meals, so I didn't do much grocery shopping either.

Your spending will probably taper down a bit. They don't need too much in general, mostly just love and attention.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by cnblure »

I moved for a job opportunity. I stopped working the first job three months before I was able to start/get paid at the new job. This could have been handled better, but the new job took forever to give me a definite start date. And I had an international trip scheduled that I wanted to be moved and established before going on. During that three months I had to cover cobra, moving costs, rent for a new place to live, and a $2000 car repair bill just so that my car would pass a state inspection (scam) needed for registration. Obviously most of this was planned and not a surprise, but it still wasn't fun to see my account balance only decreasing for what felt like a long time.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by KlangFool »

OP,

Unemployed for more than 1 year, 4 eye surgeries (me and my spouse), kid #1 starting college, kid #2 starting college the following year. All within two years period. I had 1 year of emergency fund. Life goes on.

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B3GINN3R
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by B3GINN3R »

Since you guys have been saying this, I’ve gone back thru and recalculated and this first month I’ll end up spending about 1000 on diapers formula and other baby goods, it just feels like a lot of new expenses. Maybe the right question is how much were you spending a month on your first year newborn
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by lazynovice »

Aside from a few times when we paid cash for a car or put a down payment down on a house, I don’t think we ever have had a negative cash flow month. But we have had plenty of periods of high expenses.

Newborn (formula, diapers, constantly growing out of clothes) felt high but wasn’t anything compared to day care years. Highest years were teenage years with car insurance, extra curricular activities and college test prep expenses- all of which were discretionary.

Congratulations on the new baby!
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by stoptothink »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 12:14 pm Since you guys have been saying this, I’ve gone back thru and recalculated and this first month I’ll end up spending about 1000 on diapers formula and other baby goods...
Maybe $300 for our first, a little less for the second. A lot of baby "necessities" are not necessary at all, and they won't be used for long so take hand-me-downs from others and no need to buy the best.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by KlangFool »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 12:14 pm Since you guys have been saying this, I’ve gone back thru and recalculated and this first month I’ll end up spending about 1000 on diapers formula and other baby goods, it just feels like a lot of new expenses. Maybe the right question is how much were you spending a month on your first year newborn
B3GINN3R,

A) Why should it matters? I do "Pay Yourself First" saving method. I cannot spend the money that I do not have. When I spend more on something, I spend less on something else. The annual expense stays the same.

B) The annual expense stays the same whether the household is 2, 3, or 4. It stays the same whether the kids are old or young.

C) You would have less time and energy to spend on other stuff. Hence, it makes up the difference.

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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by stoptothink »

Fwiw, I moved across the country without a job twice, once with out a definitive place to live either. Found a job both times in a few weeks, but it was stressful. Luckily both times I didn't have anyone else to support.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by lazynovice »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 12:14 pm Since you guys have been saying this, I’ve gone back thru and recalculated and this first month I’ll end up spending about 1000 on diapers formula and other baby goods, it just feels like a lot of new expenses. Maybe the right question is how much were you spending a month on your first year newborn
I had my kids 20-25 years ago. So numbers are not comparable. First of all, you go out to dinner, movies etc. a lot less so you save a lot right there. Bringing home nice dinners was not a thing back then. Pandemic has changed that. No UberEats, Doordash etc. Delivery was pizza and Chinese.

My mom went a little nuts on baby furniture and clothes. Baby showers got us a lot of clothes too. So we just had formula and diapers. Eventually clothes. My sister in law didn’t even have to buy formula except to supplement. We used a bunch of coupons and were not picky on diaper brands. We did go back to the baby store to buy a few things that we decided were worth it after all once we were actually parenting.




For our second baby, our baby showers were “diaper showers” where diapers and wipes were pretty much the only thing we needed.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by lazynovice »

stoptothink wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 12:19 pm
B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 12:14 pm Since you guys have been saying this, I’ve gone back thru and recalculated and this first month I’ll end up spending about 1000 on diapers formula and other baby goods...
Maybe $300 for our first, a little less for the second. A lot of baby "necessities" are not necessary at all, and they won't be used for long so take hand-me-downs from others and no need to buy the best.

Yes- hand me downs are a huge benefit. Also nowadays you youngsters can find clothes on Next Door, ebay, Facebook marketplace. Be careful about buying old car seats and cribs that may have been recalled though. I’d stick with clothes.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by kj10 »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 12:14 pm Since you guys have been saying this, I’ve gone back thru and recalculated and this first month I’ll end up spending about 1000 on diapers formula and other baby goods, it just feels like a lot of new expenses. Maybe the right question is how much were you spending a month on your first year newborn

I think each family’s answer is going to be radically different, especially considering how healthcare and daycare costs differ so much child-to-child and family-to-family. This does also not account for differences in cost of living. I know that you “know” that, but I think you’re just looking for examples, perhaps.

For our family - having children has greatly altered our spending.

For newborns:
All the nursery items (crib, mattress, monitors, sheets, baby blankets, baby bathtub, swing, playmat, etc.) Those items add up! If you buy the nicest and latest brands - like a Mamaroo swing or a Stokke high chair or a BOB stroller - you’re talking some serious cash!

All the feeding and care items (bottles, breast pump, breast milk storage bags, diapers, wipes, ointments, etc.) A good pump alone costs $300+ once you buy the other necessary tools like extra pumping supplies, pumping bra, etc.

All the healthcare costs (delivery to sick appointments). Kiddo have ear infection issues? Well - that’s a specialist visit or two and a surgery for ear tubes at 11 months. Kiddo have feeding issues with swallowing? Well - that’s a bunch of out of pocket OT sessions to work on reflexes. Even “healthy” babies sometimes have a lot of doctor visits.

All the daycare costs...

And so on. Some of those costs are one-time (crib, breast pump, stroller, high chair, etc.) and some are repeating (daycare, doctor’s visits, diapers, etc.) Regardless, it adds up. So, yes, I hear you. Babies are expensive even if folks tell you that you don’t need much for a baby. Hang in there, enjoy this stage of life, and have a great emergency fund. :D
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by ruralavalon »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 12:14 pm Since you guys have been saying this, I’ve gone back thru and recalculated and this first month I’ll end up spending about 1000 on diapers formula and other baby goods, it just feels like a lot of new expenses. Maybe the right question is how much were you spending a month on your first year newborn
I have absolutely no recall of that. We didn't splurge, and stayed fairly frugal.

Just enjoy your new baby.
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momvesting
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by momvesting »

We needed a few weeks to get our lives on track. For those few weeks, the spending was crazy, not so much on the baby as on ourselves for convenience. Things we never do like restaurant delivery, grocery delivery, almost no at home food prep, etc. You absorb the one time stuff, you just have to make sure your ongoing expenses settle to a level you are comfortable with.

As far as negative cash flow months, I disagree with the person who says it never happens, it is just how you do your calculations. Technically my monthly cash flow is negative every single time I pay my daughter's college tuition, but if the money comes from savings and a 529 earmarked for that purpose, is it a negative cash flow month?
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by ScroogeMcDuck »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 12:14 pm Since you guys have been saying this, I’ve gone back thru and recalculated and this first month I’ll end up spending about 1000 on diapers formula and other baby goods, it just feels like a lot of new expenses. Maybe the right question is how much were you spending a month on your first year newborn
We have a 6 month old and so far we've spent very little on baby items (less than $100/month) because all furniture, clothes, strollers, etc has been hand me downs or gifts. We're the last to have kids among friends and family so everyone is giving us their old stuff. We're using hand me down cloth diapers and I'm breastfeeding, so we're not buying disposable diapers or formula. However I am eating a LOT more, so grocery costs have increased. And since we're on a HDHP, we hit the max out of pockef ($3,500) for the hospital.

But don't worry about it - just enjoy your baby.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by Jeepergeo »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:15 am Besides house and car purchases and weddings, have you ever had months where ur cash flow was negative for a few months?

Just had a baby and she is unbelievable, best time of my life so far unquestionably.

Financially, We used to live on 20-30 percent of gross, now closer to 80-90 for the first month of newborn with all the stuff we have had to buy (diapers toys hospital bills clothing). Is this normal or are we spending to much on baby stuff?

We net about 14k per month after filling all 401ks and back door iras.
Just wait until her teen years! That will teach you about spending!!

Kidding aside, having what you need to care for your child is more important than positive cash flow for a few months. Also keep in mind that there are a lot of entities out there that want to sell you a whole lot more than you really need to raise a happy, healthy, and well adjusted child. You'll figure it out. In the meantime, enjoy the magical moments now because they never come back (though there are new magical moments in the future).
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by lazynovice »

momvesting wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 1:01 pm We needed a few weeks to get our lives on track. For those few weeks, the spending was crazy, not so much on the baby as on ourselves for convenience. Things we never do like restaurant delivery, grocery delivery, almost no at home food prep, etc. You absorb the one time stuff, you just have to make sure your ongoing expenses settle to a level you are comfortable with.

As far as negative cash flow months, I disagree with the person who says it never happens, it is just how you do your calculations. Technically my monthly cash flow is negative every single time I pay my daughter's college tuition, but if the money comes from savings and a 529 earmarked for that purpose, is it a negative cash flow month?
For us, while we withdrew from college savings, we were also contributing more than that to taxable accounts and retirement so we were still cash flow positive. If we had not been, I would have said those were negative months. Knowing what I know now, we could have cash flowed college but I had no way of knowing that 20 years ago, so I am glad we saved.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by delamer »

I use an annual budget, so I don’t care what my expenses are month to-month.

You need a bit of a cash cushion to do so, but expenses are irregular throughout the year.

If I am going to spend $6,000 in October for a vacation, I don’t expect to pay for it out of October’s income. I plan to take it out of that year’s income.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by bradinsky »

At this point in your lives, your child or children are much more important than any or all of your retirement accounts. Don’t let your quest to accumulate wealth get in the way of being good & responsible parents. Consider yourselves fortunate that you are currently able to max out those accounts & don’t be surprised if you have a year or two when you cannot. DW & I had more than one year where we were upside down & we ended up okay. Children are a blessing! Good luck.

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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by Wiggums »

Congratulations on the baby!

I wouldn’t be worry about having higher than expected bills due to the new born. Just make sure that you are spending money wisely. Newborns need basic necessities and you time / attention.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by 123 »

The death of a relative can result in funeral/cemetery expenses as well as some expenses to maintain property and other assets until the estate is settled. When we've been involved in these situations it's always been within the bounds of our emergency fund or cash reserves so it's been a non-issue.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by Triple digit golfer »

Unless you had an incredibly large hospital bill, what in the world did you buy that cost 60% of your gross income for a few months? If your net is $14k I am assuming gross is more like $20k. So you spent $16-18k a month for a few months compared to your normal $4-6k?
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by Big Heart »

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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by Lee_WSP »

Thinking back on it, I'd say day care and hospital bills were the biggest expense. Everything else seems so miniscule in comparison. Furniture wasn't much (I think it's penny wise and pound foolish to not buy the latest safety features, but plenty of babies survive so....), diapers and formula was annoying, but not that bad.

But the answer to the first question is summed up by the first response. I wasn't always in such a relatively secure situation.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by stoptothink »

Lee_WSP wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:54 pm Furniture wasn't much (I think it's penny wise and pound foolish to not buy the latest safety features, but plenty of babies survive so....)
Safety features such as?
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by RickBoglehead »

I've had more than a few months. I've had years where I funded Roth IRAs out of savings, or paid taxes out of savings. One example - I was in financial services in New England when a banking crisis hit in 1989 - 1992, culminating with The Bank of New England failing and being seized by the FDIC in 1991. 3 banks failed in 1989, 9 in 1990, 46 in 1991, and 31 in 1992. BONE as it was called had assets of more than $32B. Thousands in the industry were out of work, including myself for an extended period. I ended up leaving the industry with a new job in 1991.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by printer86 »

I spent the better part of my 35 working years as a commissioned sales rep. My income was extirodinaringly lumpy. Many months each year were cash flow negative. This required me to always keep a significant amount of cash available even for just our regular bills.

Everyone needs to build a spending and savings plan that fits their individual circumstance.

OP, Congrats on the family addition.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by invest4 »

Congratulations...it is the best.

New normal with new expenses...no surprise. Where you have to be a bit mindful is on things like clothes and toys. Generally, previously used baby clothes are toys are readily available and offer significant savings vs new. Of course, that is not to say you shouldn't buy a super cute new outfit or toy that gives you joy once in a while!

I would strongly encourage you to consider this (clothes in particular) for the long term. We utilized resale shops /other whenever possible with newer items typically coming from others (grandparents, etc.). This included the teenage years, where they could supplement what we provided with newer stuff via other monies available to them (birthdays, job, holidays, etc.).

This setup is just one part of an overall approach to teach them about living beneath our means, same as only buying used cars, and other ways to find value and prioritize spending for the things that are important to them (like sushi!) :wink: Importantly, we regularly discuss personal finance within our family, starting early on including the "whys" and the "hows" and what they think about it.

Our 4 children are now older (2 in college) and we see the positive impact it has made on their financial attitude and decision making.

Looking further ahead on your own journey, the teenage / college years are indeed the most expensive for us thus far...but just as wonderful (most of the time). :D

Best wishes.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by Katietsu »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 12:14 pm Since you guys have been saying this, I’ve gone back thru and recalculated and this first month I’ll end up spending about 1000 on diapers formula and other baby goods, it just feels like a lot of new expenses. Maybe the right question is how much were you spending a month on your first year newborn
I think how this compares to others is going to be dependent on the details. Did you stock up and have 3 months of supplies? Did other baby goods include any pricey items that will last through multiple children? If it was just diapers, formula, clothes and toys as mentioned in the first post then you might want to think about what spending is important. But a couple $300 items and an extra months of supplies can quickly get you to $1000.

The Surgeon General report states $1200-$2000 in year 1 for formula. So, say $125 for month 1 if not on a speciality product. At 12 diaper changes a day, you get about $70 in diapers if you go for a more expensive brand. So, if I do that math, it seems that $250 should cover diapers, wipes, formula and other related consumables. While it will not make a dent in a $1000 of spending, using Amazon Mom with subscribe and save, Huggies/Pampers coupons with the rotating retail store sales, etc can reduce costs a bit.

For the first first month, I think $30 worth of onesies should pretty much cover clothing costs.😀
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by Watty »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:15 am Financially, We used to live on 20-30 percent of gross, now closer to 80-90 for the first month of newborn with all the stuff we have had to buy (diapers toys hospital bills clothing). Is this normal or are we spending to much on baby stuff?
I would consider hospital and medical bills separately.

You also need to focus on the recurring expenses and not the one time expenses. These will mainly be things like diapers and formula

If you spend a couple of thousand dollars on things like baby furniture, strolers, car seats, etc when you could have gotten by for a couple of hundred that is no big deal since those were a one time expense, at least until they are a toddler.

You will also quickly find that things like fancy expensive clothing does not work well since it is usually uncomfortable for the baby and hard to get them into and out of. Simple "onesies" from someplace like Target or Walmart actually work better and they will outgrow any clothing long before it shows any wear.
B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:15 am Besides house and car purchases and weddings, have you ever had months where ur cash flow was negative for a few months?
Home repairs, car repairs, dental bills, vacations, etc can also do that. I would guess that at least one or two months a year were cash flow negative before I retired. That excludes things like 401k contributions that were done automatically.
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teen persuasion
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by teen persuasion »

Congrats on the new baby!

Our income and expenses have always been lumpy, so I work on an annual budget, not monthly. No pay during summer break, property tax + HO insurance early in the year, school tax + annual oil prebuy in fall, annual car insurance bill, car repairs or replacement, roof replacement, healthcare HDHP hitting max one year, college bills, etc.

As far as baby expenses, we kept things as simple as possible. Cloth diapers, breastfeeding, bought basics new for safety (car seats, etc.) but hand-me-downs that we traded back and forth with friends and/or saved for later children.

We learned the hard way on a few high end purchases that they were a waste (some were gifts, like a fancy stroller from MIL). Fancy stroller was big, and hard to fit in car. A simpler, smaller stroller was easier to use and transport. Same for car seats - a fancy multi-age convertible car seat was jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none. In the long run, a succession of inexpensive but still safe car seats designed for each age were better suited (especially cheap boosters when they get to the toddler stage - get one for each car, instead of constantly swapping the big fancy seat between cars).

Any baby item that may only see use for a few months before being outgrown (baby swing, boppy, etc) is not worth buying new - somewhere, a parent past that stage is dying to give it away, or lend it (if they plan more kids).
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by nolesrule »

Spending is always lumpy. Things like property taxes, charitable donations, IRA contributions, home and auto insurance only happen certain times of year. Vacations tend to be paid mostly around the time of the trip. Home improvements costs are lumpy.

Looking back over the past year we had negative months in December (DAF contribution), January (Roth IRA contributions) and April (bought some quality outdoor furniture). February 2020 we had my daughter's bat mitzvah, and there will be another one in about 16 months.
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by LadyGeek »

This thread is now in the Personal Consumer Issues forum (how you spend your money and your time).

Congrats on the newborn! I think "free time" just got a new perspective. :)
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squirm
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by squirm »

What are you spending on baby stuff? We found a lot of baby stuff at thirt stores. Also don't be one of those that think the more you spend on baby the better parent you are, it doesn't work that way. Walks through parks and along river with baby and mom and dad is what counts.
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Lee_WSP
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by Lee_WSP »

stoptothink wrote: Sun May 16, 2021 8:24 am
Lee_WSP wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:54 pm Furniture wasn't much (I think it's penny wise and pound foolish to not buy the latest safety features, but plenty of babies survive so....)
Safety features such as?
Slat spacing and other things. They aren't updated often.
stoptothink
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by stoptothink »

Lee_WSP wrote: Sun May 16, 2021 7:35 pm
stoptothink wrote: Sun May 16, 2021 8:24 am
Lee_WSP wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:54 pm Furniture wasn't much (I think it's penny wise and pound foolish to not buy the latest safety features, but plenty of babies survive so....)
Safety features such as?
Slat spacing and other things. They aren't updated often.
Like on a bed frame? We're 2 kids in, I think we spent $0 on baby furniture, unless a car seat or stroller/bike trailer is considered.
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galawdawg
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by galawdawg »

runner3081 wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:50 am We found the opposite. A newborn needed nothing outside of diapers. Which, fortunately, we received those at the baby shower (what we asked for).
I can just picture your newborn, clothed only in a diaper, riding in your lap while driving to the doctor for a checkup! :o

If all that your newborn needed was diapers, you need to write a book...perhaps "The Bogleheads® Guide to Frugal Parenting: How to Care for a Newborn on less than $1.00 a Day" :wink:
rascott
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by rascott »

Just wait until childcare costs kick in.. make you wish for the days you were just buying diapers
knowledge
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by knowledge »

All the time. In fact we've had negative cash flow in the past 55 months out of the last 100. But all years have been positive on an annual basis.
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lthenderson
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by lthenderson »

B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:15 am Financially, We used to live on 20-30 percent of gross, now closer to 80-90 for the first month of newborn with all the stuff we have had to buy (diapers toys hospital bills clothing). Is this normal or are we spending to much on baby stuff?
If you tripled your expenses, that isn't normal. Other than the deductible cost of our insurance, newborns were about the cheapest aspect of having kids. For the first month, they spent the bulk of their time laying on their back or being held and sleeping, eating and pooping. They didn't play with toys, didn't require expensive furniture and in our case anyway, milk came from two built in dispensers that replenished themselves every few hours at no additional cost to us. Daycare was probably the largest expense we paid for kids as toddlers and one of the reasons we opted out of that system with a stay at home parent. As they have gotten older, they have only gotten more expensive to maintain. They require much more expensive toys, clothing, food, and all the various fees we pay on a monthly basis to support their lifestyle. All this is peanuts compared to the expense of saving for their college education in the future.
stoptothink
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by stoptothink »

lthenderson wrote: Mon May 17, 2021 9:04 am
B3GINN3R wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:15 am Financially, We used to live on 20-30 percent of gross, now closer to 80-90 for the first month of newborn with all the stuff we have had to buy (diapers toys hospital bills clothing). Is this normal or are we spending to much on baby stuff?
If you tripled your expenses, that isn't normal. Other than the deductible cost of our insurance, newborns were about the cheapest aspect of having kids. For the first month, they spent the bulk of their time laying on their back or being held and sleeping, eating and pooping. They didn't play with toys, didn't require expensive furniture and in our case anyway, milk came from two built in dispensers that replenished themselves every few hours at no additional cost to us. Daycare was probably the largest expense we paid for kids as toddlers and one of the reasons we opted out of that system with a stay at home parent. As they have gotten older, they have only gotten more expensive to maintain. They require much more expensive toys, clothing, food, and all the various fees we pay on a monthly basis to support their lifestyle. All this is peanuts compared to the expense of saving for their college education in the future.
For a different data point, in my area childcare is generally almost twice the price (per year) of college education at both local universities. It is unlikely our child-rearing costs will ever be as high as they were when our kids were in childcare.
runner3081
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by runner3081 »

galawdawg wrote: Mon May 17, 2021 8:42 am
runner3081 wrote: Sat May 15, 2021 11:50 am We found the opposite. A newborn needed nothing outside of diapers. Which, fortunately, we received those at the baby shower (what we asked for).
I can just picture your newborn, clothed only in a diaper, riding in your lap while driving to the doctor for a checkup! :o

If all that your newborn needed was diapers, you need to write a book...perhaps "The Bogleheads® Guide to Frugal Parenting: How to Care for a Newborn on less than $1.00 a Day" :wink:
People overcomplicate things with kids and, like you, assume they are somehow abused or put in danger if you don't spend oodles of money, haha. However, we all make our own choices, I was just pointing out the differing viewpoint. It may not be for everyone.

I mean really, outside of diapers, one of those play mats, wipes, diaper cream and 10 rotating onesies, what else do they really need? They don't need shoes (socks/booties), my wife breast fed, so no bottles or formula.

Car seat was free from work. Our daughter slept in a $50 rock'n sleeper thing. Stroller was $10 at one of those kids sales.
Afty
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by Afty »

runner3081 wrote: Mon May 17, 2021 11:03 am Car seat was free from work. Our daughter slept in a $50 rock'n sleeper thing. Stroller was $10 at one of those kids sales.
https://www.cpsc.gov/Recalls/2019/fishe ... -of-deaths

This is what someone up thread meant by updating furniture to the latest safety regulations. FWIW my child also slept in this sleeper before they recalled it.
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galawdawg
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by galawdawg »

runner3081 wrote: Mon May 17, 2021 11:03 am People overcomplicate things with kids and, like you, assume they are somehow abused or put in danger if you don't spend oodles of money, haha. However, we all make our own choices, I was just pointing out the differing viewpoint. It may not be for everyone.

I mean really, outside of diapers, one of those play mats, wipes, diaper cream and 10 rotating onesies, what else do they really need? They don't need shoes (socks/booties), my wife breast fed, so no bottles or formula.

Car seat was free from work. Our daughter slept in a $50 rock'n sleeper thing. Stroller was $10 at one of those kids sales.
I didn't assume that your child was abused or put in danger, I just assumed (correctly) that you were understating what a newborn needs! :)

I agree that many new parents go WAAAAY overboard when it comes to spending on their newborn. One or two cribs, a couple of playpens (or whatever they are called now), three car seats, five pairs of Nike athletic shoes, enough different matching clothes to outfit the Radio City Rockettes, six or seven diaper bags, three strollers, two sets of baby monitors, and so on. The marketing to new parents of what they "NEED" is brutal.

But it sounds like you (and perhaps more importantly, your wife) were able to resist the siren song and didn't open a line of credit at Babies R Us!
runner3081
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by runner3081 »

Afty wrote: Mon May 17, 2021 11:12 am
runner3081 wrote: Mon May 17, 2021 11:03 am Car seat was free from work. Our daughter slept in a $50 rock'n sleeper thing. Stroller was $10 at one of those kids sales.
https://www.cpsc.gov/Recalls/2019/fishe ... -of-deaths

This is what someone up thread meant by updating furniture to the latest safety regulations. FWIW my child also slept in this sleeper before they recalled it.
Our daughter was born in 2012, this recall was 7-years later :)

Besides, she slept right beside my wife and I in this thing.
runner3081
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Re: Life events spent more than earned

Post by runner3081 »

galawdawg wrote: Mon May 17, 2021 11:17 am
runner3081 wrote: Mon May 17, 2021 11:03 am People overcomplicate things with kids and, like you, assume they are somehow abused or put in danger if you don't spend oodles of money, haha. However, we all make our own choices, I was just pointing out the differing viewpoint. It may not be for everyone.

I mean really, outside of diapers, one of those play mats, wipes, diaper cream and 10 rotating onesies, what else do they really need? They don't need shoes (socks/booties), my wife breast fed, so no bottles or formula.

Car seat was free from work. Our daughter slept in a $50 rock'n sleeper thing. Stroller was $10 at one of those kids sales.
I didn't assume that your child was abused or put in danger, I just assumed (correctly) that you were understating what a newborn needs! :)

I agree that many new parents go WAAAAY overboard when it comes to spending on their newborn. One or two cribs, a couple of playpens (or whatever they are called now), three car seats, five pairs of Nike athletic shoes, enough different matching clothes to outfit the Radio City Rockettes, six or seven diaper bags, three strollers, two sets of baby monitors, and so on. The marketing to new parents of what they "NEED" is brutal.

But it sounds like you (and perhaps more importantly, your wife) were able to resist the siren song and didn't open a line of credit at Babies R Us!
We are minimalists. Can't honestly remember going to Babies R Us at any time, haha.
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